Forlorn

By Michael Butz

The thought of somebody chasing after him percolated within his head, trying to twist his already knotted stomach into a warren of fear and confusion.  The man had told Arlain that somebody was after them looking for Erm, and wanted to leave it at that.  Several stunned moments of staring off beyond the distant rise passed as the thoughts swam through his clouded mind.

“We need to leave.” The man said as he proceeded to kick dirt over the fire.

 

Erm snapped out of his mental daze and directed Jaidaen to walk closer to the man.  “No!” He said, “You need to start answering some questions damn it,” A tone of demand touched his voice, as he dismounted Jaidaen. “We’re not going anywhere until you start talking!”

The man took his attention away from stomping out the remaining embers to give Erm a flat stare, his face a complete blank.

 

“Who in Hehl is after us, and what under the Father do they want with me!” The words spilled out of Erm’s mouth.  He was taken aback to find himself motioning emphasis with both his hands, and he looked questioningly at his right arm.  It had been broken only minutes ago and causing him a great deal of pain.  “And what on Ea did you do to my arm!” Arlain, who had been before him in confronting the man was now staring at his arm startled.

After a moment of staring at one another the man returned his attention to the fire, continuing to step out coals that were already.  Turning his back he started off walking towards one of the near by oak tree.

 

“The blood of the ancients runs deep in these lands.” The man said almost to himself without stopping or turning around.  Before Erm could demand an answer the man continued. “Do you remember what happened in the day of that first storm?” Only then did he turn slightly to glance at Erm. “Somehow you were able to touch the Flow.  You called that first storm Erm.

“The forests must have granted you luck…” The man began but was interrupted.

 

“What in the name of the Mother are you talking about? Are you saying I killed my Uncle?” Erm’s voice was heated and touched with confusion.

“…with out that luck you'd've done more than broken your arm that day.” The man continued unabated by Erm’s intrusion. “I’ve seen boys draw less than half of what you did from the Flow destroy themselves from it.”

 

Erm was burning holes in the back of the man’s head, brows furrowed in utter confusion.  He tried to ask what the man was talking about, but he found only a small breath instead.  Nothing the man was saying seemed to make any sense.

“The storm that killed your Uncle was wrought by the Priests of Light.” The man was now turned around throwing on a satchel and cloak, grabbing up his staff he continued.  “The Creator must've been playing with my fate; it must've been Him who drew me to your valley.” The man turned again and stared Erm straight in the eye. “If it wasn’t for Him bringing me here you would be on the leash of a Priest right now awaiting the life of a slave.”

 

None of this was making any sense to Erm. Priests of Light, the Flow.  Erm’s confusion grew to the point where all he could do was stare at the man, mouth gaping wide open.  He had no idea what the man was speaking of.  “What about my arm?” Erm asked.

The man threw a glance encompassing both Arlain and himself “Most of us call it Mending…I set your arm and melded the bone together.” He recited as if telling how he would prepare breakfast, and started to walk towards the rise leading up out of the oak grove.  Erm found that some of the anger that had been building for the man seemed to dissipate.

 

“We better go.” Arlain’s voice came to him from behind, stealing him from his thoughts.  He nodded, motioning Jaidaen to lie down.  Both of them stepped over her back and shortly she trotted off in the direction the man had gone.

The man wasn’t far off, and Jaidaen caught him up in a matter of moments.  With them now behind, he started to run following along a trail that would have been barely visible to someone not used to tracking game.  It looked to be a well traveled deer trail and nothing more.  There was only enough space for Jaidaen to make footfall with the thick undergrowth closing in on each side and a light dusting of clovers underfoot.  At least there didn’t seem to be any brush whipping him in the face this time.  Never mind.

 

After some time riding behind the man Erm’s sight strayed to the side of him, falling on the foliage that passed by.  Startlingly the bush seemed to be blurred beyond recognition.  Looking at the blur made Erm’s head spin; he would have retched up if there had been anything in his belly.

From the feel of it Jaidaen was only running at a light trot, but from the look it seemed as if she were running twice as fast as she was able.  That, added to the dimness of the forest around them was extremely disorienting.

It seemed that they'd been going on for the entire day when the trail began to give way to a clearing that dropped down into a small vale of black walnut trees.  The ground here was clear of brush as the last grove had been.  The trees must have been beyond ancient here, some were easily as wide around as an oak in its middle years; black walnut growing more dense than thick the Mother knows how old they were.

The man slowed his pace and was now stopped at one of the larger trees in the grove.  Taking his cloak from around himself, he hung it from a low branch placing his pack on the ground next to it.  Somehow the man appeared to be unaffected by the long run, breathing as if he had been resting for half the day.

 

“What was that?” Erm said, confusion marking his tone. “Back there, going down that trail. What was that?”

The man seemed to ignore the question at first; gazing up into the canopy he looked as though he were searching for something.

 

“I believe, you were riding that mamut there…” The man answered not taking his eyes from his search, giving the slightest sign of a smirk, “and I, was running.”

“That’s not what I meant!” Erm answered, annoyance lightly touching his voice. “The forest… it looked like we were going faster then we were.”

 

“It’s called Traveling.” The man said, still keeping his gaze in the branches above. “Goa was gracious enough to lend us a hand… Ah.” Taking his gaze from above the man started off towards the nearest tree.

“What…” Erm had to quicken his pace to keep up with the man.

 

Goabent…the forest around us.” The man turned towards Erm.  “We covered a distance just then that would’ve taken a week.” He returned his attention to the canopy and then down to the tree in front of him.

Making a loose fist the man knocked on the trunk lightly two times. “I’d move if I were you.” The man continued, now looking back at him.

 

Erm’s brows furrowed. “What?”

A moment later something struck Erm from above.  Whatever it was it sent stars fluttering across his sight, and caused him to fall backwards unto his pride.  He couldn’t even make a sound of pain his head spun so badly.

 

As the stars faded from his eyes and his head stopped he could see that the man was bending over to pick up the stick that had struck him on the head.  Erm tried to stand up but the spinning must not have been completely gone yet and he fell back again.

“What the fuck!” Erm barked.  For some reason Erm thought the man felt amused but his faced betrayed nothing.  He merely picked up the stick and walked away, leaving Erm to nurse his wounds.

 

“I told you to move.” The man said flatly as he walked away, studying Erm’s assailant.

An overwhelming sense of sorrow flooded Erm’s mind.  A heavy feeling going up from his heart tryed to break through his chest.  Something in the back of his mind told him it wasn’t his own feeling but someone else's.  Looking around Erm spotted Arlain sitting on the ground next to a tree with her head bowed, cradled in her hands between her knees.

 

Erm got himself up quickly, dealing with the disorienting dizziness in his head.  He made his way over to Arlain as quick as his wobbly legs could carry him.  Reaching her side he found that she was crying deeply into her hands.

“Arlain?” He said, concern filling his voice.  Erm wanted to say something -- something that would make her stop crying -- something that would make her feel better.  But the only answer he received from his mind was a gray fog.  The overwhelming sensation of sadness swam through the warren of despair in his gut.

 

Finding only a complete lack of words, Erm sank down to sit next to Arlain.  Putting his arms around her he rested his head on her shoulder.

That didn’t seem to help any; it only caused her to bury her face in his shoulder as she continued weep.  He wished there was something that he could do to help her.

 

“They’re gone…” A voice wracked by despair rose from between the frantic sobs directed into his shoulder.  She continued to speak but her words were completely muffled by her cries and indiscernible.  Thoughts of his uncle welled up in his mind giving the other feeling help to break through his ribs.

There was nothing he could say.  The only thing he could think of to do was to hug her harder and try to force his own tears back.

 

Memories of his mother came up from the depths of his mind, memories of when he was very little, of when she had tried to comfort him in his sadness.  The memory was faded and mostly gone but he remembered her rocking him back and forth, making shushing noises to try and comfort him from whatever made him cry.  The fight to keep his tears back became almost unbearable as he began rocking Arlain back and forth.

“They’re in a much better place now.”  He tried to reassure her, trying to convince himself with the same breath.

 

Thoughts of his uncle and refreshed memories of his parents started to well up through his throat gathering in the base of his neck.  All he could do was rest his head on Arlain’s shoulder and join along in her lament letting tears slowly roll down his cheeks.

They were sitting there for only minutes but it felt like an hour before Erm pushed it all back.  Forcing all the wretchedness to a halt he swallowed the massive lump.  Surprisingly he didn’t feel the hurt any more; all he felt was emptiness where the pain had been.

 

Arlain seemed to sense his attempts and stopped as well.  Looking up at him with puffy, red eyes she wiped her face with her sleeve and gave Erm a forced smile.  For the whole of him he couldn’t seem to make himself return one, and just gave her one last hug.

Erm was now set on getting more answers from the na’Sehn.  Or whatever he called himself.  Releasing Arlain he stood and started off towards where he thought the man was.

 

“Erm.” The voice of the man called out from behind him.  He turned around to see the man holding a shaft-straight staff near the length of his body.  It looked like the same piece of wood that had struck him before but it was perfectly straight.  How on Ea did he get a piece of walnut straight that quick? Never mind.  “Here.”  The man said throwing the staff his way.

Catching it Erm felt something coming from the piece of wood.  He couldn’t tell what it was but it felt as if the wood joined him as an extension of his own body.  To his surprise the black walnut staff felt as though it were light as a feather.

 

“The rest of the world has long since left behind the peace your land still holds.  You know how to use one of those?” The man queried blankly.

“Of course.” Erm answered with his brows furrowed.  His uncle had taught him well in how to use a pole-arm as well as a bow. 

He was taught that the trick was to imagine within yourself darkness, and within that void a flame to feed all thought and emotion until your mind was completely cleared.  Only then could you truly concentrate.  His mind began to fill with a newfound rage for the Priests and he tried to stuff it into the flame.

“Good,” The man said, “Attack me.”

 

“What?”

“Try and hit me with your staff.” The man answered flatly. “Take your staff and hit me… unless you don’t think you can.”  Affirming his grip on the wood Erm took off towards the man as fast he could.  Trying to take the stance his uncle had taught him as he ran.  

 

Erm lifted the staff above him to make a feigned strike at the man’s head.  Sweeping the staff around him he nearly missed the man and went into the backstroke with the aft end swinging down quickly to strike at his middle.  

Before the blow landed he found himself flipping head over heals unto his backside.  He didn’t even see the man move.  Frustration filled his head as he got himself up with a push.

 

The man gave a chuckle, which failed to touch his face. “Calm yourself.” He said. “Try it again, this time concentrate.”

Erm closed his eyes; trying to enter the void he imagined the flame and began throwing his ire for the Priests into it.  The fire ragged within him as he opened his eyes.

 

Side stepping around the man Erm assumed the position he had tried to achieve before.

“Ah, Heron Stalking Prey.” The man said amused, shifting his stance slightly.

 

Erm started to walk calmly towards the man holding the staff near his middle.  His gait turned into a lunge as he swung the fore-staff round in a feigned strike for his middle, then swinging the aft end round to sweep the man’s legs from underneath him.  Finding the man’s own staff blocking his, Erm quickly jumped backwards to avoid a return strike that didn’t come.

His uncle wasn’t a soft teacher, hardening soft edges with swift strikes.  Erm could remember the welts he'd receive and didn’t want more.

 

The man was now standing with his staff in one arm upright behind his back in a stance unfamiliar to Erm.  His blank face seemed to beckon Erm to strike again.

He was obviously a master with his staff.  Erm decided to test the man.  Digging his heels in Erm tightened his grasp then started to walk slowly towards the man.  Getting within striking distance Erm gave a quick strike to the middle, which was quickly blocked.  Using the momentum Erm swung the aft around for a strike to the head finding the man’s staff.

 

Erm stepped back to circle the man in a slow backward sidestepping stride, looking for an opening.  Of course he knew there would be none, but he needed to look for something.  Suddenly the man changed stances, there was his opening.  He lunged forward giving a swipe to the legs only to find himself again on his backside.

“You’ll have to do better than that.” This time Erm could swear he saw a smirk cross the man’s lips.  “Lets see you defend yourself.”

 

The fire was still raging within the void; with shock trying to break its way through, Erm tried to force it down into the blaze.  The man lunged forwards, changing stance in mid-step.  Surprise got the best of him as he found a strike swinging towards his head.  He quickly blocked it, only to find a quick jab to his midsection.

A loud grunt forced its way out, followed by a cough.  Apparently when the man had fixed his arm earlier he neglected to do the same with his ribs.  The pain in his chest burned a hole through the void, shattering it.  Erm gasped for air, all the while coughing.

 

The man just stood there, holding his staff behind him again.

“Stop it!” Arlain shouted, Erm thought from behind him.  She must have been watching them fight.  A moment later he found her arms around him helping him to sit; he still found it hard to draw breath.  “He has cracked ribs damn you!”  She pleaded to the man returning her attention to Erm quickly.

“He’ll have to learn quickly then wont he.” The man responded coldly.

“It’s alright.” Erm told her weakly, in between gasping for air.  Rising to a kneeling position Erm sucked in air quickly.  After several moments of catching his breath Erm stood, closing his eyes and reaching out to form the void and flame.

 

Inside the void the pain seemed to be distant, almost as if it were someone else’s.  Clearing his mind Erm took another deep breath before opening his eyes and reaffirming his hold on the staff.

“Good.” The man said.

 

Erm searched his mind from the void, looking for the practices with his uncle.  Always keep moving, focus on his movements not just his staff.

The man began to circle round, raising his staff to a horizontal position behind his back another unfamiliar stance.  Changing postures the man dashed towards Erm, throwing the rear end of his staff at his legs in a large sweep.

 

Erm quickly back stepped and awaited the next strike.  Sure enough it came, hurtling towards his head.  Raising his staff Erm took the momentum of the man’s strike and threw it away, resulting in a backstroke to his middle which was quickly countered with a block.

This time the man stepped back quickly, trying to lure Erm towards him.  Not too hasty.  Erm resumed his backward circling stride, awaiting his next move.

 

He didn’t have too long to wait.  From mid-stride the man lunged forward sending a whirling strike towards his head, missed and spun his body round giving a sweep catching Erm’s feet from under him.  He landed on his side with a thud.  Finishing his dance like flourish the man rested his staff at his side.

 

“You need to work on your form.” The man said, still no sign of his thoughts touching his face or voice.