|
Main | Fanfic | Whole New World Index | New Stories A Whole New WorldFEEDBACK - Oh Yes Please -You can email us docwho2000@hotmail.com authors: docwho2100 and ellie no name (docwho2000@hotmail.com) Authors' notes Character thoughts appear between ~ ~ symbols Consensual relationship depicted between adult women in this
story. If you have a problem with that or are under 18 please do not read. Chapter 31b – Brand New Start (Paul Weller) Clock tower, Sunday, May 16, after midnight ------------- "Um, uh, how's the dessert?" "This is very good, and it was a nice way to wake up." Barbara said as she worked on finishing her slice. "Thank you for being selfish." "Anytime. I promise," Helena smiled, letting her eyes close for a moment before opening then again. "I knew you'd enjoy it." Tilting her head some, Barbara could not help but smile at Helena's remarks as she scooped up the last bite of her dessert. "Considering that promise is based on events that produced this," she waved her last forkful of dessert. "I think I will make sure to hold you to that promise." "It involves food; do you really think I wouldn't keep it?" Helena grinned. Enjoying a deep laugh, Barbara shook her head no. "I would never be foolish enough to stand between Helena Kyle and food." Her smile slipped a little as she finished her statement, "Or to really stand in the way of anything you wanted." She looked down at her plate tying to cover her statement. "Well looks like I am finished." Knowing that she'd probably regret it, just as she regretted so many things she said lately, Helena took a deep breath, "Are we ever going to even bring it up again?" she asked, trying not to look too hurt. Leaning over, Barbara managed to place the plate on the coffee table using the time to try and figure out how to answer Helena. She bit her lip as the first three words that entered her mind were three words she was loathe to ever use or admit she would need to use them. "I don't know." She reached out not quite able to touch Helena from her position because of the way Hel had shifted back. "How do we, how should we bring it up?" "I meant it. Just not really sure where that leaves us," Helena said, her sore arm reaching out just enough to reach Barbara's hand. Barbara sighed softly glad for the contact; the touch giving Barbara something concrete to hold onto. She tightened her grip slightly to affirm her next words. "I meant it too Helena. And I," she stopped not wanting to use that phrase again. "I know where ever it leaves us, I think we are heading towards a better place." She rubbed at her face with her free hand needing to compose her self before sharing her next thoughts. "I have not been in a very good place these last few months Helena. The last year really since," she left off as neither one needed to hear that woman's name right now. "I was slipping away Hel. I still feel like I am even now. We both fled this place in a sense. Maybe you still did patrols and I tracked the criminals but we both left. And I'm not so sure it will be easy for me to come all the way back." she stopped taking a deep breath hoping that would ease the incredible pain she felt building in her chest. "I am afraid to lose any more of you or any more of me." "I thought this was more about gaining than losing," Helena questioned. She knew it wasn't cut and dry, but it wasn't that complicated, was it? Barbara just stared at Helena letting the silence grow. She blinked a few times and then tried to smile a little. "You're right. It should be about gaining." She breathed out trying not to think how easily Helena seemed to have just overlooked or explained away the deep worries and doubts Barbara had shared with Helena. She wouldn't bother the metahuman with the fact she was scared. Scared that once she opened up to Helena and told her how she loved her and what she felt, the brunette would see it was not really what she had in mind and Barbara would lose Helena completely. Sitting up suddenly, Helena moved the hand she'd been leaning against to the side of Barbara's face. "So what's hold you back? What are you afraid of?" she asked softly, looking for answers in the redhead's eyes. "Hurting you or being hurt again." Helena nodded, her eyes not giving up. "I don't suppose there's much I can say to fix that, huh?" The strength, wisdom and feeling Helena managed to convey with those simple words shook Barbara's cynical view. Drawing strength from the steady gaze, "That's one of those things I don't think either of us can fix with words. We can understand but..." Taking a deep breath Barbara managed to say a phrase she had thought about a hundred, a thousand, a thousand plus a thousand times but never once had the strength to use, until now. Using the strength drawn from one incredibly persistent, stubborn, caring woman, "Would you hold me Helena?" Not sure what to say Helena didn't speak, just stood and shifted. She rearranged the redhead on the couch so she could sink behind Barbara, her arms wrapping around tight. Guiding the woman's head to her shoulder, she closed her eyes letting her other senses take the lead. It was one thing to always be around Barbara, but being this close... Everything was stronger, the smell of her shampoo, the feel of muscles hiding below her skin, and the warmth of her body. It was much more than she'd expected. Barbara felt not just the woman's arms, but her sense of being enveloped as for once the crime-fighter let go of her dogged need to do things herself and let Helena pull her into the embrace she had asked for. Feeling the gentleness and tenderness in the actions and in the soothing way the woman now held her, Barbara was taken back at how the normal fire and frenzy she'd come to associate with Helena masked this side of the brunette. Startled by this realization, Barbara wondered just how much more she had missed, had been missing all these years. How much they had lost? All because of the lack of a simple action - to love and to be loved. Not wanting this incredible sense of awareness and in a way glimpse of a magnificent beauty too often cloaked in darkness go, but knowing there would always be pain, Barbara let the tight walls down, just as Hel had with this gentle act. An action she had not done with anyone in a very, very long time. Something she was sure she would never do again. As she did she laid her hand against Hel's chest feeling the heartbeat there as the tears began as she leaned more into the woman's arms. "Shh..." Helena murmured, one hand moving up and down Barbara's back as she tried to soothe her. "What is it?" she asked, not pulling back. She shook her head a little, her cheek rubbing across Hel's shirt, not ready to take the next step and vocalize certain thoughts. Closing her eyes against the tears and thoughts, both happy and painful, she tried to regain her composure. She trusted her voice only enough to allow a simple statement past her lips, well simple in form. "I'm tired Helena." "Yeah, I think we covered that earlier," Helena said, resting her cheek against the top of Barbara's head. Not wanting to disturb the contact, Barbara was reluctant to talk or move. However she could feel the events of the last day catching up suddenly like a tidal wave of weariness unleashed by her tears and the gentleness displayed by Helena. Knowing if she did not move soon, the weariness would catch her and she'd not be able to move, she scratched her fingers a little over Hel's chest where her one hand had been resting. "If your shoulder is alright, I should go to my room now." "Probably, yeah," Helena nodded in agreement, still not letting go or pulling back at all. "What if I don't want to get up?" Her fingers stilled mid-scratch, "Well if you prefer the comforts of the couch... I know I spent quite a few nights here. Just please wear some clothing so you do not give poor Alfred a heart attack." She smiled a little trying not to think of all the nights she had fallen asleep here waiting for something, well someone to haunt the balcony... "And if I don't want to move at all?" Helena asked, unable to help from letting her lips brush over red hair. Trying to twist her head some, Barbara managed to bring at least Hel's chin into view. She reached her hand up, her fingers playing along the feature. "You've already given me more than I had thought I would ever know." she said softly. "And if you do not move soon, I am not going to be able to move. And I really am not sure if this is that comfortable for you." "Well, we could always lie down," Helena said, smiling softly as she twisted her head and leaned back to see Barbara's face. "Yes, we could do that; would be one solution to your not wanting to move." She let a smile play across her face as she caught Hel's eyes. "Seriously Helena, if I do not untangle myself now, I am going to be the one not moving." She turned her head to locate her chair planning how to get up. "I don't want you to go," Helena said, her eyes staying on Barbara's face while she used one hand to turn the redhead's face back toward her own. Drawing in a breath, Barbara realized just as she had asked for something from Helena earlier, now the brunette was sharing her need and want with her. Her eyes roamed over Hel's face as she worked through this before coming to rest, sinking into the intense blue eyes watching her. Managing to reach a hand up, she laid it gently on the woman's cheek. "Then I won't." "Wait, maybe I should rephrase that. I'm willing to move, but I want you to stay close," Helena said, gently leaning her cheek against Barbara's hand. Laughing lightly Barbara shook her head some as she slowly drew her hand down feeling the smooth skin slide beneath her fingers. "I think I sense a hidden message here. Something along the lines of, 'I am not really comfortable but trying to be polite before my leg or arm or whatever goes completely numb.' Alright, let's rearrange things to provide a little more comfort, good?" "Exactly what I had in mind," Helena smiled, her eyes showing how tired she was. Her heart beating with a new found energy. contact: docwho2000@hotmail.com page last modified - August 14, 2006 graphics from www.eosdev.com |