A Whole New WorldFEEDBACK - Oh Yes Please -You can email us docwho2000@hotmail.com author: docwho2100 and ellie no name Consensual relationship depicted between adult women in this story. If you have a problem with that or are under 18 please do not read. AUTHORS' NOTES – Rating - Maybe R a bit of language Ok - this chapter switches the POV big time and while maybe you should not do that in middle of story - oh well. But just so you know it's more a first person POV... kinda.... maybe... Song lyrics enclosed in { } Chapter 4 - Feel (Robbie Williams) New Gotham, Sunday 2:00am "Sitting on the dock above this bay. I'm watching the idiots go sailing away." "Ok, my altered lyrics leave a little to be desired, but can you blame me? It is a bit chilly and damp up here and the idiots down there are just now starting to mosey around the crime scene looking semi-interested." I start talking to the stone statue that is my partner on this ledge as we both peer down. I already had sent in observations, gotten samples and let Oracle boss me around so she could observe the crime scene through her borrowed eyes and ears to the world, cue slow building crescendoing music... ta-da that'd be me the sidekick of the team. Yes the sarcasm is being laid on just a little thick as I watch another squad car arrive and the investigation picks up speed. I chose this vantage point so I could hear and see everything. I'd gone comm silent after making my report, but I did want to see what the boys in blue would do and maybe just maybe they'd pick up something Barbara hadn't... although I doubted that. We do make a pretty thorough team, or use to. The genius Oracle and the mighty Huntress prowling the night. Oh yeah mighty Huntress I like that. I decide to let loose a roar but at the last moment remember that there are people down below so I bite off the noise and it comes out strangled.... Oh yeah baby, I am Huntress hear me... Squeak? Laughing I waver on the ledge. "Oh man that was a sorry excuse for a call of the wild... anyone hear that they'd tell me I need Viagra for my roar." Holding on to the stone statue for support I continue laughing. Have not laughed in awhile, feels strange, almost forbidden. I try to keep the heady, light mood even though I am starting to hear the whispers of thoughts, the thoughts that have haunted me for the last two years. "Yes Helena you need to practice your roar. We have a reputation to uphold." I have placed my hand in the customary sock puppet mimic pose creating the Oracle hand puppet. Next I hold up my other hand creating the bitchin' Huntress hand puppet to reply and begin flapping my fingers together. "Why Barbara do you think I would really go and dirty our good name?" I am trying for a southern belle accent, I think I am sounding like one of the Spice Girls with a cold. "Of course not Huntress," My nifty Oracle hand replies and it would be tapping its cheek thoughtfully if it could. "But we must keep a stiff upper lip and always be diligent on the job." "Diligent," the Huntress puppet bats its eyelashes. "Why Oracle, sweetness, modesty, diligence and stick-to-it-tiveness are my middle name. Not to mention the fact that you can always count on me, what ever word describes that characteristic." Hell of a long middle name and one that is so far from the truth... I drop my hands as my spirits plummet to the concrete below. I rub my hands suddenly, taking away the last traces of my attempt at humor and force myself to not think instead watching as finally the Coroner has arrived. "Another Dissection Killer victim." "Yeah, sucks to be him." I shake my head wondering once again at the selection methods for the NGPD as I continue listening to the conversation as it rolls along at about the same pace and level. Bobby brings out his tools after walking around the scene and gets ready to do his thing, make his report and leave. That's what I should be doing, leaving. Why I am sticking around... especially after what I saw... what I saw earlier... actually maybe that's why I am here instead of.... instead of where Helena? Instead of where I normally sit watching her. I whack hard at the stone statue. Oops... hey it still looks good without that ear. Ears are highly overrated... Fuck it... stupid statue, stupid crime scene, stupid mood, stupid Barb.... I reign in that last thought, never would I think she was... I should... should watch my impulses. Isn't that what she is always lecturing me on? Control, mind on the mission... shit here comes that sarcasm again. "Hey this is the sloppy side of the killer. You think it is two different people or something?" "Something..." "No shit Sherlock, Barbara had that figured out by the third body you bozos." My face is pulling down... Barbara always figures shit out, so why can't she figure this... us... me... I gotta move, standing I start pacing the ledge still keeping an ear out below. I think I'll go, I never learn much from this part of the investigation and Barbara always hacks in and pulls out their reports anyway. I am about to leap when I hear it, the CD Bobby has chosen and I am frozen, all of the will, blood, motivation drained from me by the strands of the song. Bobby always likes to play music as he plays at being the Coroner and tonight's choice hits me hard. No, no, no, no... I can't breath, stop associating Helena, just walk away. Isn't that what Barbara thinks about you - that you are so good at walking away - here show her another fine demonstration of your abilities to walk, no run away as she has accused in the past and probably will in the future, especially that one look, the look that says you failed Helena and I failed you Helena. I continue to beat up on myself as I walk... back to the ledge as the song begins {Come and hold my hand I don't anymore, understand myself that is. I think that is why the darkness is so inviting. Darkness hides a lot of shit. Takes away the need to focus on making out details, understanding why I am here and what I should be doing. {I just wanna feel Oops there went the other ear... a casualty to my anger which is a direct result of the fact I am....... leaving her that is. Been doing that slowly and painfully….. is there any other way? But been doing that the last two years and baby I am almost out the door. Almost... just need the courage... yeah imagine that the mighty Huntress..... {Scare myself to death I can't touch her, hold her or let myself believe she'd want me to... Robbie I think your song got that part wrong. Why even fool myself into thinking we could be toget... so much time has passed and nothing from her, no indication... just the frustrating looks, the pain, the irritation... If home is where the heart is... well I must be homeless. {Cos I got too much life "Looks like the perp made a right mess this time, what were they doing to the arm, tapping out Morse code?" "Don't know or really care Jonny." I hear Bobby reply. Can I have some of that don't care attitude Bobby? Can you just pull the plug for me? See I want to die. Well not really, suicide is something for cowards and I'm not a coward. Well I use to believe that. But I just... feels like someone put me on life support a while ago and it's just letting me limp along. I gotta pull the plug, can't take this coma like existence anymore... it hurts too damn bad... {I just wanna feel See that's the problem, I keep pushing myself, going back and drinking up that life support trying to hang on and for what? So I can keep fucking things up? Keep having her fuck things up? I can feel something alright, every time another piece gets ripped away. I thought you were supposed to go all numb after awhile? I want my numbness damn it, I deserve it. Just let me fight and prowl and... {I just wanna feel "You missed something Mr. Coroner" I want to call down as he overlooks the placement of the body parts. That was something Barbara made her go over three times. Good ole Oracle always catching things. So how'd she miss that big old hole I have? The one that was ripped out by Harley and then made bigger by the way Barbara reacted and just keeps growing like one of those damn black holes Dinah did a report on last year. Robbie babe you wanna talk big holes and places in your song, try walking around my shadows for awhile. Amazing what a little chip here, a little yank there, a carefully constructed conversation meant to tear down love and build up walls can do. I've become the master of my fragmenting domain. And you know, I have this bad feeling Babs has too. Damn we team coordinate being nut cases too, yeah we make a great team. {Come and hold my hand No that's the only damn thing I am sure of, I do understand. Understand that life is a bowl of muck and I am just one of the poor saps diving in day after day. Like I'm really going to find a hand to help me out, hold onto a hand that can unplug the damn life support that is doing nothing more than keeping me chained to the darkness. Latch onto a hand that can pull me to a place I can see something else, to help me contact... It hurts so bad and I understand why, because its suppose to.
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