Tunage News
As part of my ongoing project to make an album's worth of Megatokyo-based tunes, I've decided to start releasing a new tune every week. You'll find Yuki's Theme on my MP3.com site right now!

Amazonian Picture Update
At Karen's request, I have updated her Amazonian portfolio to include an additional piranha picture. Enjoy.

Evil Attack Grocery Robots!
The do-it-yourself check-out machine at my local Harris Teeter (HT) grocery is rapidly becoming my enemy. It used to be the case that HT had several regular grocery lines and one or two express lines. The express lines -- as in many other groceries -- were for people who had only a few items to check out. About a month ago, my grocery removed its express lanes and installed in their place a big, beige, Jetsonian-looking machine with two stations for customers to check out their own groceries.

This idea of checking out your own groceries is inoffensive but the implementation at HT is pitiful. Almost every time I try to use the thing I encounter some weird, borderline condition it was not programmed to handle, which leaves me standing there waiting for a cashier from another line to come over and clear the error with their special, secret problem-clearing code everyone who works there knows because it's the manager's dog's name or something.

When they first set the thing up, they clucked over it like a mother hen. They had a Special, Perky, U-Scan® Express Person on alert to watch for customer difficulty. For example, trying to buy anything requiring adult I.D. stops the works entirely, requiring the Special, Perky, U-Scan® Express Person to go to the Secret Panel behind the front desk and punch in the OK BIRTHDAY code or whatever and let you proceed; when they had a Special Perky, U-Scan® Express Person on staff, you could get through the awkward, checkout process with nary a snag.

Now that the thing has been in place for a while, though, they're getting lax. The other night on my way home, I stopped at HT for beer. Since all the human-staffed lines were long and slow I thought I'd give my pal U-Scan® Express one more try. I scanned my beer and the thing locked up, issuing a stern warning that a staff member would have to approve my age for purchase. Fine. I looked around and there was nobody on staff available to handle the problem. There was not even anyone to try to flag down. All cashiers working the other lines kept their heads down, avoiding my gaze. So after about three minutes of being ignored I picked up my beer and got in a regular line, leaving U-Scan® Express alone with his doleful complaint. As I paid, some poor sap tried to use the U-Scan® Express line I'd just abandoned and somehow managed to find a staff member to clear the age query; however, the stupid thing still showed one six-pack of beer scanned in on the tab, causing much consternation. I left before the situation was resolved but I have to admit I was highly amused.

Another night, I went to HT to get insulin syringes for my diabetic cat plus two or three regular grocery items. I paid for the syringes at the miniature pharmacy inside the grocery and then did the rest of my shopping. I only had a few items so I thought I'd risk another go at the U-Scan® Express machine. I scanned everything in and pressed the "Pay Now" button, then moved the box of syringes from the check-out area to the bagging shelf to clear room for the next customer's groceries. Of course, U-Scan® Express has a weight sensor built into the bagging area to prevent stealing so the thing bitched at me, demanding that I scan in the item I was trying to steal (i.e. the syringes I'd already paid for). So I was reduced to awkwardly balancing the syringe box in one hand while trying to feed dollar bills into the U-Scan® Express because the thing assumes if you set anything down that you haven't scanned in, you're trying to steal.

So the moral of the story is: I need to find a way to get U-Scan® Express entered as a contestant on BattleBots.

Thought for the week
Purring must be effortless, else cats would never bother to do it.
kj

Acidic wit & social commentary