Songs

NOTE: All poems, songs, limericks, jokes, puzzles and stories contained in these archives are COPYRIGHTED to the original author. In most cases, the original author is the person who wrote the post.

Some of these posts were edited down from longer posts made to RCTN.


Veering from a discussion about the best way to store floss--bobbins, baggies, braiding... --KMD

From: Kathy Dyer <kdyer@verio.com>
Newsgroups: rec.crafts.textiles.needlework
Subject: Re: OT: Bobbineer song needed; was Re: 105 colors - HELP
Date: 17 Nov 1998 02:10:12 GMT
Organization: Verio

wolfies@pacbell.net wrote:
> Okay, we need a song writer...calling for a song writer...anybody. . . .

A Bob-bob-bob-bob-bobbineer
Bob-bob-bob-bob-bobbineer
(Bob-bob-bob-bob-bobbineer)
Oh bobbineer, it's so clear.
(Bob-bob-bob-bob-bobbineer)
Bobbineer
(Bob-bob-bob-bob-bobbineer)
Sittin' rockin', wrist a'rollin',
Rockin' while you're reelin' bobbineer
Bob-bob-bob-bob-bobbineer
Went to a store looking for a way.
Saw bobbins there and you thought they'd be O.K.
Bobbineer
Bob-bob-bob-bob-bobbineer
Oh bobbineer, it's so clear.
(Bob-bob-bob-bob-bobbineer)
Bobbineer
(Bob-bob-bob-bob-bobbineer)
Sittin' rockin', wrist a'rollin',
Rockin' while you're reelin' bobbineer
Bob-bob-bob-bob-bobbineer
Say Bob-bob-bob-bob-bobbineer
Bob-bob-bob-bob-bobbineer
Oh bobbineer, it's so clear.
(Bob-bob-bob-bob-bobbineer)
Bobbineer
(Bob-bob-bob-bob-bobbineer)
Sittin' rockin', wrist a'rollin',
Rockin' while you're reelin' bobbineer
Bob-bob-bob-bob-bobbineer
Tried plastic bags
Tried plastic bags
Tried plastic bags but you kept on getting snags.
Bob-bob-bob-bob-bobbineer
Oh bobbineer, it's so clear.
(Bob-bob-bob-bob-bobbineer)
Bobbineer
(Bob-bob-bob-bob-bobbineer)
Sittin' rockin', wrist a'rollin',
Rockin' while you're reelin' bobbineer
Bob-bob-bob-bob-bobbineer
Bob-bob-bob-bob-bobbineer
Bob-bob-bob-bob-bobbineer
Bob-bob-bob-bob-bobbineer
Oh bobbineer, it's so clear.
(Bob-bob-bob-bob-bobbineer)
Bobbineer
(Bob-bob-bob-bob-bobbineer)
Sittin' rockin', wrist a'rollin',
Rockin' while you're reelin' bobbineer
Bob-bob-bob-bob-bobbineer
Bob-bobbineer
Bob-bobbineer

Kathy :-)
--
============================================
Kathleen Dyer <mailto:kdyer@verio.com>
Counted Cross Stitch, Needlework and Stitchery Page
<http://www.ncal.verio.com/~kdyer/xstitch.html>
"Time has little to do with infinity and jelly doughnuts."

From: Kathy Dyer <kdyer@verio.com>
Newsgroups: rec.crafts.textiles.needlework
Subject: Re: Baggers Song needed; was Re: OT: Bobbineer song needed; was Re: 105 colors - HELP
Date: 17 Nov 1998 19:36:51 GMT
Organization: Verio

wolfies@pacbell.net wrote:
> Okay, that takes care of the Bobbineers. Now we need a song for the
> Baggers!

Continuing with the Beach Boys theme, to the tune of Little Deuce Coupe...

Little floss bags.
Yes, I know what I got.
Little floss bags.
Yes, I know what I got.
Well I'm not braggin' gal, so don't put me down,
But I've got the fastest way of storage in town.
When new floss comes home with me, I don't hafta cry,
Cause since I have a set of bags man, I really can fly.
They're my little floss bags.
Yes, I know what I got.
(My little floss bags.)
(Yes, I know what I got.)
Just a little floss bag with a pre-punched hole.
When I put my thread away, I get on a roll.
All sorted. I'm relieved and I feel all right.
I'll do a hundred and forty by the end tonight.
They're my little floss bags.
Yes, I know what I got.
(My little floss bags.)
(Yes, I know what I got.)
I've got a shiny metal ring with four more on the floor.
All colors nicely fittin', while the stash I store.
There's a Sudberry Floss Box with a flip up lid.
There's one more thing, I got a pink bag caddy.
At the end of the line when the light turns dim.
Well the floss is finally sorted, looking neat and trim.
Never pushed out of shape, each still in its skein.
And I get singin' that great refrain...
They're my little floss bags.
Yes, I know what I got.
(My little floss bags.)
(Yes, I know what I got.)
They're my little floss bags.
Yes, I know what I got.
(My little floss bags)
(Yes, I know what I got.)
They're my little floss bags.
Yes, I know what I got.

Kathy
--
============================================
Kathleen Dyer <mailto:kdyer@verio.com>
Counted Cross Stitch, Needlework and Stitchery Page
<http://www.ncal.verio.com/~kdyer/xstitch.html>
"Time has little to do with infinity and jelly doughnuts."

From: Kathy Dyer <kdyer@verio.com>
Newsgroups: rec.crafts.textiles.needlework
Subject: Re: Braider Song needed; was Re: OT: Bobbineer song needed; was Re: 105 colors - HELP
Date: 18 Nov 1998 01:18:38 GMT
Organization: Verio

wolfies@pacbell.net wrote:
> Allllllllriiiiiiight! We have a song for the bobbin-winders. Now needed:
> a song for the Braiders and Lark's Head Knotters!

Making a trio of Beach Boys songs, to the tune of "I Get Around"...

Braid braid gotta braid.
I gotta braid.
Yeah.
Gotta braid braid braid I gotta braid.
I gotta braid
(Gotta braid braid braid I gotta braid.)
From shade to shade.
(Gotta braid braid braid I gotta braid.)
I don't spend a dime.
(Gotta braid braid braid I gotta braid.)
I'm makin' real good time.
I got all bugged winding round and round that small cardboard.
I hadda finda new way to get my floss stored.
My braiding and me are getting real well known.
Yeah, the baggers know me and they leave me alone.
I gotta braid
(Gotta braid braid braid I gotta braid.)
From shade to shade.
(Gotta braid braid braid I gotta braid.)
It don't cost a dime.
(Gotta braid braid braid I gotta braid.)
I'm makin' real good time.
(Gotta braid braid braid I gotta braid.)
I gotta braid.
Braid
Gotta braid braid braid oooo
Wah wa ooo
Wah wa ooo
Wah wa ooo
I always braid my floss so it never will knot.
And I've never missed yet with the floss I bought.
Both of my hands are steady cause it wouldn't be right
To leave my new floss skeined now on Saturday night.
I gotta braid
(Gotta braid braid braid I gotta braid.)
From shade to shade.
(Gotta braid braid braid I gotta braid.)
It don't cost a dime.
(Gotta braid braid braid I gotta braid.)
I'm makin' real good time.
(Gotta braid braid braid I gotta braid.)
I gotta braid.
Braid
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
Braid braid gotta braid
I gotta braid.
Yeah.
Gotta braid braid braid I gotta braid.
Gotta braid braid braid I gotta braid.
Wah wa ooo
Gotta braid braid braid I gotta braid.
Oooo ooo ooo
Gotta braid braid braid I gotta braid.
Ahh ooo ooo
Gotta braid braid braid I gotta braid.
Ahh ooo ooo
Gotta braid braid braid I gotta braid.
Ahh ooo ooo

Kathy
--
============================================
Kathleen Dyer <mailto:kdyer@verio.com>
Counted Cross Stitch, Needlework and Stitchery Page
<http://www.ncal.verio.com/~kdyer/xstitch.html>
"Time has little to do with infinity and jelly doughnuts."

From: maysrg@mindspring.com (Mays)
Newsgroups: rec.crafts.textiles.needlework
Subject: Re: Braider Song needed; was Re: OT: Bobbineer song needed; was Re: 105 colors - HELP
Date: Tue, 17 Nov 1998 17:33:45 GMT
Organization: Several Organizations

On Mon, 16 Nov 1998 21:57:49 -0800,<wolfies@pacbell.net> stitched with
finest floss on pure irish linen:

>Kathy Dyer wrote:
>
> <snipped: Bob-Bobbineer
>
>Allllllllriiiiiiight! We have a song for the bobbin-winders. Now needed:
>a song for the Braiders and Lark's Head Knotters!
>
>Nan Evelyn

Braiding Along (to the tune of "Swinging along the open trail)
(voice one)
Braiding along the open floss
Braiding along under light that's Ott
Braiding along the open floss
See what I've bought, see what I've bo-ought.
Braiding along, braiding along, braiding along the open floss
Under the light that's Ott.

Braiding along the open floss
Under light that's Ott
Braiding along the open floss
See what I've bought, see what I've bought.
Braiding along, braiding along, braiding along the open floss
Under the light that's Ott.

Ruth Mays
Cinnaminson, NJ
This person is a natural product. The slight variations in color and texture enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects.

From: Stef <Stef@fibratec.demon.co.uk>
Newsgroups: rec.crafts.textiles.needlework
Subject: Re: OT: Bobbineer song needed; was Re: 105 colors - HELP
Date: Fri, 20 Nov 1998 09:01:33 +0000

In article <Do%32.692$an.238@typhoon-sf>, wolfies@pacbell.net writes
>Okay, we need a song writer...calling for a song writer...anybody. . . .
>
>Nan Evelyn

I can't believe I'm going to do this but here goes - this is what i came up with while putting the 2yo Princess Baby Perry to bed last night in an effort not to fall asleep first

To the tune of "my boy lolipop"

My bobbins in a box
(da da da da da)
It keeps them all so handy
(da da da da da)
Now they don't get all tangly
(da da da da da)
My bobbins in a box!

Guess who fell asleep first!

stef - Hounslow, England

Christmas is just another deadline!

PFH - picture of four owls - can't remember who by - lost the packaging yonks ago (its not hard just very brown).


From: Kim Brown <c9403228@alinga.newcastle.edu.au>
Newsgroups: rec.crafts.textiles.needlework
Subject: Re: OT: Bobbineer song needed; was Re: 105 colors - HELP
Date: Tue, 17 Nov 1998 23:40:25 +1100
Organization: The University of Newcastle

To the tune of 'Wishin' and Hopin'' by Burt Bacharach

Lickin' and suckin' and slurpin' and spittin'
Moist'nin' and wettin'
Your floss will get sti-i-iff
And go through the needle with e-ease.

But if you're thinkin' to use a thre-e-ader
Just remember they are little, expensive and metal and dinky
Not worth the effort and spit it comes free
Just lick your floss!

You must consider the alter-na-a-tive:
You'll have to buy a thre-e-e-e-ader
Do you really want to do-oo-oo this?

'Co-o-o-os

Lookin' and squintin' and pushin' and pokin'
Pullin' and pinchin'
With breakable pa-a-arts
That can dig right into our he-ea-earts.

You must remember that these thre-e-eaders
Are only substitutes for god-given spittle, saliva and sputum.
Go on and try it and do not deny it.
Floss-lickin's better and not a health hazard
So chuck out your threader and come back to lickin'
No-one will know...
Da dada dadada!
--
Trish {|:OI}
Newcastle, NSW, Australia


Please note that S.E.X. stands for Stash Enhancement eXperience --KMD

From: "Pagen" <pagen@nemesis.com.au>
Newsgroups: rec.crafts.textiles.needlework
Subject: New RCTN Song: I gotta have S.E.X.
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 1998 19:50:04 +1100
Organization: Telstra Big Pond Cable - Sydney Site 1

(to George Michael's "Faith")

Well I guess it would be nice
If I could have some money
No, no, not funny money
But some moula for S.E.X.

And I guess it would nice
If I could grab my hubby
Or maybe anybody
Who could pay for my S.E.X.

Coz I gotta have S.E.X.
I gotta have S.E.X....

That's all I can get so far, I have words I'm sure I could get out, but I don't know the full song - i haven't heard it in years... but the beginning gave me the idea...I'm sure someone else can finish it...

Bronwynne Livingston
Pagen Consulting
ICQ: 4644471
-----------------------------------
http://nemesis.com.au/pagen
Bringing Malathar's Dragons to life!

From: kali@cybergal.com (kali)
Newsgroups: rec.crafts.textiles.needlework
Subject: Re: New RCTN Song: I gotta have S.E.X.
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 1998 15:06:25 GMT
Organization: ntr.net Corporation

On Thu, 19 Nov 1998 19:50:04 +1100, "Pagen" <pagen@nemesis.com.au> wrote:

>(to George Michael's "Faith")
>
>Well I guess it would be nice
>If I could have some money
>No, no, not funny money
>But some moula for S.E.X.
>
>And I guess it would nice
>If I could grab my hubby
>Or maybe anybody
>Who could pay for my S.E.X.

Cause I need some more floss
or maybe fabric
Time to dump the stuff out on the floor
Want to roll around in
all my treasures
Well I need to do some stitchin'
but I'll go out and buy some more.....

>Coz I gotta have S.E.X.
>I gotta have S.E.X....

Baby, I know you're askin' me to stop
Sayin' please please please now leave the shop
please don't buy any more
Maybe I don't need everything I've bought
but you've got just no room to talk
what about those tools?

Before this linen becomes a project
Before I can stitch and hang it on the wall
Gonna need more needles and lots of beads, now
I don't need another pattern -
but I'll get just three or four....

'cause I gotta have S.E.X.
I gotta have S.E.X.

There, how's that? :)
Anyone out there ever heard of 'filk songs'? It's a hobby that rolls around science-fiction conventions - making up new words tied to a scifi theme and setting them to current songs. (A good example would be Weird Al Yankovic's "Yoda" <done to the tune of "Lola">.) I think Kathy'd be a natural!!!

Kali


From: spamfree@bounce-it.com
Newsgroups: rec.crafts.textiles.needlework
Subject: OT: Another Song
Date: Mon, 23 Nov 1998 21:17:51 GMT

Inspiration knocked me sideways when I least expected it, so here's another song fragment, to the tune of that old classic from 'Paint your Waggon', 'I was born under a Wandering Star' - get your best croaky voices out, girls, 'cos here goes!

I was born under a Cross-stitch Star,
I was born under a Cross-stitch Star,
Floss was made to gather, kits were made to cache,
I ain't never seen a chart didn't look better in my stash!
'Cos I was born under a Cross-stitch Star,
A Counted Cross-stitch Star.

Sorry - I only got the one verse.

Jilly P
-
Change the obvious if you want to reply by e-mail
jillyp(at)cathaven(dot)clara(dot)co(dot)uk

Conjury Nook
JillyP's Home Page. Please come and read my SF/Fantasy stories.
http://emporium.simplenet.com/jillyp/conjury.htm


From: kdyer@crl.com (Kathleen Dyer)
Newsgroups: rec.crafts.textiles.needlework
Subject: Re: There once was a stitcher...
Date: 10 Mar 1995 11:45:35 -0800
Organization: CRL

To continue in a musical vein...

To be sung to the tune of "When the Saints Go Marching In":

Oh, when the store has floss on sale,
Oh, when the store has floss on sale,
Hey, I want to buy every number
When the store has floss on sale.

Kathy (who's feeling musical these days as she heads into daily opera rehearsals for the next week.)
--
============================================
Kathleen Dyer <mailto:kdyer@crl.com> (home)


From: werpetin@risky.ecs.umass.edu (Katrina Werpetinski)
Newsgroups: rec.crafts.textiles.needlework
Subject: Another stitching song
Date: 26 Mar 1995 18:14:42 GMT
Organization: I'm *not* organized...that's the problem

I'm guessing that I don't have to tell you to what tune you sing this one...

100 stitches to go in this piece,
100 stitches to go,
Up then down,
Swing needle around,
99 stitches to go in this piece...

99 stitches to go in this piece,
99 stitches to go,
Up then down,
Swing needle around,
98 stitches to go in this piece...

From: emilyb@netcom.com (Emily Breed)
Newsgroups: rec.crafts.textiles.needlework
Subject: Re: Another stitching song
Organization: None of the above
Date: Tue, 28 Mar 1995 17:20:46 GMT

And then there's the way I'd have been singing it lately (if I could sing):

100 stitches to go in this piece,
100 stitches to go,
Up then down,
Swing needle around,
99 stitches to go in this piece...

[this part omitted to save your sanity]

68 stitches to go in this piece,
68 stitches to go,
Up then down,
Swing needle around,
67 stitches to go in this piece...

Stop. Snip snip snip. Rip rip rip.

100 stitches to go in this piece,
100 stitches to go,
Up then down,
Swing needle around,
99 stitches to go in this piece...

Deep sigh...

99 stitches to go in this piece,
99 stitches to go,
Up then down,
Swing needle around,
98 stitches to go in this piece...

-- Emily


From: werpetin@risky.ecs.umass.edu (Katrina Werpetinski)
Newsgroups: rec.crafts.textiles.needlework
Subject: Song: Needlework Junkie
Date: 11 Apr 1995 14:02:58 GMT
Organization: I'm *not* organized...that's the problem

Ken Mellons does (wrote?) a song called "Jukebox Junkie". This song has been screaming at me for weeks, "Modify me for r.c.t.needlework!" I finally called the radio station and had them play it so I could jot down all the lyrics. I modified it for cross stitch, but only a couple lines need to be changed to have it apply to other forms of needlework. I made some suggestions at the end. If you want the original lyrics, send me email. Surprisingly little needed to be changed. :-)

Katrina
werpetin@kira.ecs.umass.edu

=-=-=-=

Cross Stitch Junkie

I'm just an old cross stitch junkie,
Spending my time, spending my money,
Feeding this habit 'til it ain't funny,
I'm just an old cross stitch junkie.
I can't stand to see the stitchin' stop,
I keep threading my needle with more floss,
I own every shade from DMC,
I'm just an old cross stitch junkie.

Some are gourmet cooks, some are hooked on quilts,
Some get their kicks outta sci-fi books,
A handful of patterns is all I need,
It doesn't take much just to satisfy me.

[chorus]

I lose control, I can't say no,
I stitch them fast, I stitch them slow,
I like the X's my stitches make,
It's an old habit that I can't break.

[chorus]

And here are some replacement lines. The first line is what I've got above, the line that starts with "oo" is the original lyric, and the others are suggestions.

I'm just an old cross stitch junkie,
oo I'm just an old jukebox junkie,
-> I'm just an old embroidery junkie,
-> I'm just an old needlework junkie,
-> I'm just an old needlepoint junkie,
-> I'm just an old stitching junkie,

I keep threading my needle with more floss,
oo I keep dropping my quarters in the slot,
-> I keep buying more patterns at the shop,
-> I keep buying more canvas at the shop,
-> I keep buying more fabric at the shop,

I own every shade from DMC,
oo I've played every song from A to Z,
-> I'll stitch any theme, as you can see,
-> I'll stitch anything, as you can see,

A handful of patterns is all I need,
oo A handful of quarters is all I need,
-> A handful of yarns is all I need,
-> A handful of canvases is all I need,

I like the X's my stitches make,
oo I like the sound a jukebox makes,
-> I like the pictures my stitches make,
-> I like the shapes my stitches make,
-> I like the shape my stitches take,


From: werpetin@risky.ecs.umass.edu (Katrina Werpetinski)
Newsgroups: rec.crafts.textiles.needlework
Subject: Re: Limerick
Date: 17 Jul 1995 14:29:48 GMT
Organization: I'm *not* organized...that's the problem

It's not a limerick, but I figure the folks reading this thread will want to read it and those killing the thread won't miss it.

To the tune of "Yankee Doodle Dandy" (are there more than 3 verses to this song?)

"Stitcher's Needle Handy"

Stitcher's needle, pulling floss,
Going 'cross the fabric,
Stuck the needle through the hole,
And finished up the stitch quick,

Stitcher's needle, keep it up,
Stitcher's needle handy,
Mind the chart and keep your count,
And won't the piece be dandy

Father and I went into town,
Along with my friend Lisa,
There we bought crossstitch supplies,
And charged it to his Visa

Stitcher's needle, keep it up,
Stitcher's needle handy,
Mind the chart and keep your count,
And won't the piece be dandy

There we were at Crossstitch Fest,
Wandering the pavillion,
Buying patterns for ourselves,
I guess there were a million.

Stitcher's needle, keep it up,
Stitcher's needle handy,
Mind the chart and keep your count,
And won't the piece be dandy


From: lynda.king@onlinesys.com (LYNDA KING)
Subject: Re: Stitcher's Anthem(?) :)
Date: Mon, 26 Jun 95 09:54:00 -300

"I am stitcher, hear me roar!"
With stashes too big to ignore
And I know too well I'll never get them done.
But I've still a way to go
Before I visit one more show
To select another chart or kit, just one.

OK someone else finish the chorus. Eat your heart out Helen Reddy.

Lynda

lynda.king@onlinesys.com

* 1st 2.00o #7312 * Watch where you're going....remember where you've been....

From: kdyer@crl.com (Kathleen Dyer)
Subject: Re: Stitcher's Anthem(?) :)
Date: 28 Jun 1995 12:26:31 -0700

LYNDA KING (lynda.king@onlinesys.com) wrote:
> "I am stitcher, hear me roar!"
> With stashes too big to ignore
> And I know too well I'll never get them done.
> But I've still a way to go
> Before I visit one more show
> To select another chart or kit, just one.

> OK someone else finish the chorus. Eat your heart out Helen Reddy.

Oh-oh-oh-oh. Yes, it is late
But this part is almost through.
Yes, I'm in a state
But loving what I do.

If I have to, I can stitch anywhere!
I am strong! I am adaptable!
I am stitcher!

Kathy
--
============================================
Kathleen Dyer <mailto:kdyer@crl.com>
------------------------------------------------------------------
"Time has little to do with infinity and jelly doughnuts."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nadyacat@swcp.com (Nadya)
Newsgroups: rec.crafts.textiles.needlework
Subject: Re: Stitcher's Anthem(?) :)
Date: Wed, 28 Jun 1995 18:28:25 -0600
Organization: Not enough, really

In article <8AC0252.158A0018F3.uuout@onlinesys.com>, lynda.king@onlinesys.com (LYNDA KING) wrote:

> "I am stitcher, hear me roar!"
> With stashes too big to ignore
> And I know too well I'll never get them done.
> But I've still a way to go
> Before I visit one more show
> To select another chart or kit, just one.

Well I owned this album at one point so:

"Oh, Yes! I have charts
But they're charts I'll stitch someday
Yes, I paid their price
And I won't give them away
If I want to
I can stitch anything

I have floss! (floss!)
I have fabric too! (fabric too!)
I a stitcher!"

Hey, she started it!

Nadya


From: excalib@uniserve.com (Excalibur Electrical Services Ltd.)
To: kdyer@crl.com
Subject: Love those songs! :p
Date: Mon, 3 Jul 1995 22:13:09 +0100

Kathy:
I love those songs, "Dashing through the store...." and "Oh when the store..." A bit of light singing, as opposed to opera! I've thought of one to the tune of "If you're happy...",

Oh I wish I had a piece of Aida cloth,
Oh I wish I had a piece of Aida cloth,
I'd stitch it and I'd frame it,
Then initial it and date it,
Oh I wish I had a piece of Aida cloth.

It's sort of a stitcher's lament, for when you run out of supplies( we know it'll never happen,right?) Carol Kuntz excalib@uniserve.com

My opinions are my own, and if anyone wants them, help yourself :p


From: werpetin@risky.ecs.umass.edu (Katrina Werpetinski)
Newsgroups: rec.crafts.textiles.needlework
Subject: More Silly Songs and Rhymes
Date: 26 Nov 1995 03:39:38 GMT
Organization: I'm *not* organized...that's the problem

Stitch, Stitch, Stitch Along
[to Row, Row, Row Your Boat]

Stitch, stitch, stitch along,
This pattern's just divine,
Marilyn, Marilyn, Marilyn, Marilyn,
We love your new design.


From: terric@neosoft.com (Steve and Terri)
Newsgroups: rec.crafts.textiles.needlework
Subject: RCTN theme song
Date: 30 Dec 1996 19:45:12 GMT

DH is cringing (he dislikes poetry a *lot*) but I've been spending my vacation time profitably, stitching a lot and reading... and writing poetry! (Okay, doggerel. :-D) It was inspired by all of you on r.c.t.n, so I think you should have to read it -- I mean, I think you should all have the privilege of hearing it!

*******************************************************************

The RCTN Song:

Hi, my name is Terri and I'm glad you're here today.
I'm a stitchaholic, and I live from day to day.
I can't control my habit -- supplies just pile up on the shelf!
All I do is pass a shop, and that car turns by itself!

Oh, I'm a stitchaholic with too many UFO's...
I've tried to kick the habit time and time again, God knows.
DH says he'll leave me if the pile gets too much worse,
But I'm going to try to take them with me in that big black hearse.

I go in the shop for just one skein, and boy, I think I can!
I pass the new releases rack and ignore the new Just Nan.
I get into the thread boxes... and see the sampler wall...
I run out with an Emie Bishop, fabric, threads and all!

Oh, I'm a stitchaholic with too many UFO's...
I've tried to kick the habit time and time again, God knows.
DH says he'll leave me if the pile gets too much worse,
But I'm going to try to take them with me in that big black hearse.

I sneak my stuff into the house as quiet as can be,
I wait until DH is napping or watching TV.
And when it's time to bring it out and stitch with it, I say,
"Oh, this old thing? I've had it forever and a day!"

Oh, I'm a stitchaholic with too many UFO's...
I've tried to kick the habit time and time again, God knows.
DH says he'll leave me if the pile gets too much worse,
But I'm going to try to take them with me in that big black hearse.

I sit and stitch and watch TV -- well, listen more than watch.
DH tells me what I miss and doesn't complain too much.
And when it's time to go to bed, he turns out all the lights --
He doesn't believe "just one more stitch" before I say goodnight!

Oh, I'm a stitchaholic with too many UFO's...
I've tried to kick the habit time and time again, God knows.
DH says he'll leave me if the pile gets too much worse,
But I'm going to try to take them with me in that big black hearse.

I finished up a project -- it's framed and on the wall!
Now I can start another one -- or two more, if they're small!
I go through all my charts to pick and end up with a pile --
I've got so many UFO's, you'd think I'm an X-phile!

Oh, I'm a stitchaholic with too many UFO's...
I've tried to kick the habit time and time again, God knows.
DH says he'll leave me if the pile gets too much worse,
But I'm going to try to take them with me in that big black hearse.

I'm a charter member of the HUGE Stash Society --
I've got a stash so big that I can't find my Christmas tree!
She who dies with the most stuff is dead, and that's a fact!
Now, where's the sale, when does it start? I'll be in line for that!

Oh, I'm a stitchaholic with too many UFO's...
I've tried to kick the habit time and time again, God knows.
DH says he'll leave me if the pile gets too much worse,
But I'm going to try to take them with me in that big black hearse.

I've got cats -- they really help! -- just ask them any day!
They help me wind my floss and sort my beads, all kinds of ways!
They help me try new fibers and critique the work I've done.
And when I've put the stitching up, they sit on it for fun.

Oh, I'm a stitchaholic with too many UFO's...
I've tried to kick the habit time and time again, God knows.
DH says he'll leave me if the pile gets too much worse,
But I'm going to try to take them with me in that big black hearse.

Happy New Year!

Terri

--
Terri Carl
terric@neosoft.com


From: lcoulson@freenet.columbus.oh.us (Lori Coulson)
Newsgroups: rec.crafts.textiles.needlework
Subject: Stitching Song
Date: 4 Mar 1997 11:36:11 -0500
Organization: The Greater Columbus Free-Net

This has been running thru my mind lately, so with apologies to John Denver:

Stitch by stitch,
Row by row,
Gonna make this sampler grow,
Railroading as I go
As my needle makes its rounds--
Stitch by stitch,
Row by row,
Watch the pattern as it grows,
Pretty colors, how they glow,
As my needle makes its rounds.

Lori Coulson
--
*****************************************************
...Or do you still wait for me, Dream Giver...
Just around the riverbend? Pocahontas
*****************************************************


From: "Annette Jackson" <abjackso@prairienet.org>
Newsgroups: rec.crafts.textiles.needlework
Subject: Re: :-) S.E.X. Theme Song; was Re: :-) Dictionary; was Re: Totally addicted!!! (and proud of it!)
Date: Sun, 21 Jun 1998 23:34:42 -0500
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign

Nan wrote in message <358DBD04.5A21@pacbell.net>...
>I hope somebody, or a group of collaborators, can do a parody for us. We
>need an international S.E.X. anthem.

Well, here is a first stab at one - perhaps someone can enhance it.

I Cain't Say No!

It ain't so much a question of not knowing what to do
I've had some charts to sew since I been ten
I've seen a lot of patterns and I think that they are new
I must go to my LNS agin
I shouldn't go enhance my stash a bit
But when I'm in the shop, I just fergit!
I'm jist a girl who cain't say no,
I'm in a turrible fix
I always say "come on, le's go"
Jist when I orta say nix!
When I log on to RTCN
I know I should ignore the new chart chat
But when someone tells of S.E.X.
I know that I must go and do just that!
I'm jist a fool for MLI
I cain't resist silken threads
That come in greens, golds, and reds
Idleness I've come to dread
I cain't say no!
Whut you goin' to do when you must have the pattern,
Fabric and fibers? Whut you goin' to do?
S'posin' that it would make a gift for a baby,
Er some favorite lady? Whut you goin' to do?
S'posin' that it calls you to take it right home,
Add it to the rotation tonight?
Whut you goin' to do when it calls you like that,
Put it back?
I'm jist a girl who cain't say no,
Cain't seem to say it at all
I can't have just one chart to sew
When others give me the call!
Fer a while I ack refined and cool,
A settin' in my favorite stitching chair
Then I picture charts and start to drool,
And order something that I just might wear!
I must stop spending all this dough
Getting a new castle scene
With dragons, fairies and dreams
Something with jewels and queens
I cain't say no!

Annette Jackson


From: Mike & June Huber <Hubers@swbell.net>
Newsgroups: rec.crafts.textiles.needlework
Subject: "The Stitcher" (parody of "The Joker")
Date: Thu, 13 Aug 1998 14:37:49 -0500

This popped into my head a week or so ago and wouldn't go away, so here it is. Thanks to DH for identifying the original song/group from my remembered snatches, and apologies in advance to the Steve Miller Band.

The Stitcher
(to the tune of "The Joker" --- The Steve Miller Band)

Some people call me the stash cowboy, yeah
Some call me a stitching crime boss
Some people call me S.E.X.y
Cause I speak of the purchasing of floss

Stitch Police talk about me, baby
Say I'm doin' it wrong, doin' it wrong
Well, don't you worry baby, don't worry
Cause I'm right here, right here, right here, stitchin' at home

Cause I'm a licker
I'm a looper
I'm a flinger
And I'm a hooper
I have my stitchin' in my hand

I'm a lacer
I'm a scroller
I'm a railroader
I do my stitchin' when I can

I'm a licker
I'm a looper
I'm a flinger
And I'm a hooper
I sure don't want to hurt no one

I'm a lacer
I'm a scroller
I'm a railroader
I wind my bobbins on the run
Wooo Wooooo

That's the cutest pattern
That I ever did see
I really love those stitches
Want to buy it for me
Licky-stitchy, licky-stitchy, licky-stitchy all the time
Ooo-eee baby, I'll sure have a good time

Cause I'm a licker
I'm a looper
I'm a flinger
And I'm a hooper
I sure don't want to hurt no one

I'm a lacer
I'm a scroller
I'm a railroader
I wind my bobbins on the run

Copyright © 1994-2005 Kathleen Dyer
All Rights Reserved.
Last modified: Sun, Mar 20, 2005