Open Message to Recent Kenettes

I know you hear this enough, ladies, but let me reiterate: No teeth on the cock. Please. I understand that your last boyfriend loved it or your ex-husband enjoyed a bit of a nibble now and again. But not this dude. I've got one of those ultra-sensitive Irish numbers, and what you may consider a playful nip feels like a quick turn of a meat-grinder from where I'm sitting. Listen, I'll be happy to cook up a batch of red hots after all is said and done to satisfy any personal issues you have to work out, but for now, I'd ask that you imagine yourself as your 87 year old Aunt Gussie, and kindly retract the chompers. Thank you.