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BUT
IS IT CHEATING?
TACKLING
THE AGE-OLD ARGUMENT
DEAR KEN & ARIEL: One of my good friends has been dating another good friend of mine for
years. But since we arrived at college, she's been on a "make-out"
rampage, kissing everything in sight. In her defense, she hasn't gone any
farther than tonsil hockey, but she claims she's still being faithful to her
man. I don't know if the rules of faithfulness have been officially
recognized by any governing body, but it would seem to me that putting your
tongue in someone else's mouth would be classified as "cheating."
Am I a prude?
KEN
SAYS:
There
are those who believe that kissing is a fairly harmless act--how many
times have you heard, "Oh, we only kissed" as an excuse for
ultra-libidinous behavior? Truth is, kissing is a very, very intimate
thing. And the act is almost always tantamount to something more. Yeah, it
can start with a little sickly-sweet nose rubbing and playful smooching,
but once two bodies are pressed together for an extended period of time,
things start a happenin'. A hand brushes a breast, a tongue flickers into
an ear, fingers make a desperate grasp for a belt, and before ya know it,
you're staring down someone's south 40.
But for what it's worth, kissing can be really fulfilling, in a
warm-the-cockles-of-your-heart kinda way. I've always been the sort of
feller who wonders not how a woman will be in the sack, but how she kisses…
anticipating that mystical moment when lips meet, mouths part, and
epiglotisses (those li'l punching bags that hang in the back of our
throats) get knocked about like boats in a storm.
But anyway, back to your problem: I detect a wee bit o' jealousy in
your voice, sister. Could it be that you're itchin' for a piece of the
action your pal seems to be enjoying just about everywhere she goes? If
you're already worrying about being fitted for a scarlet P (for prude),
you might wanna take drastic measures to bust out with a bold new you.
Next time you see your pal sucking face with a gentleman caller, wait
'till said dude comes up for air, grab him by the lapels (or whatever he's
wearing) and tell him, "If you think she's good, wait'll you try
summa this," and toss a big wet one his way.
Your friend might freak, the dude might be left scratchin' his head, but
if nothing else, it makes for some interesting stories at the next
morning's brunch.
ARIEL
SAYS:
Where I come from, engaging in tic-tac-tongue with plural partners means
you are officially "playing the field," and it sounds like your
pal is looking to hit one out of the park. (Watch out for them cold
sores!) Your buddy's girl is a normal, 18 year old girl who has just
discovered that she can do all the cool shit the kids on The OC do,
and she wants to hold on to the boyfriend in case all cute lips on campus
are occupied Friday night.
If she insists she's as pure as the driven snow, tell her
you're deeply impressed with her open-mindedness and magnanimity, because
you know, it's so funny, but you just heard that her boyfriend is doing
the same thing across town. Maybe I'm being a bit narrow-minded. Hell,
there could be a make-out clause betwixt her and her betrothed. But you
would already know that, wouldn't you, because you're the lucky sucker
who's stuck being a good friend to both.
So tell one good friend you think she's being a bit of a
tart, and tell the other good friend that maybe he should start playing
the field. And no dear, you aren't a prude. You just need to watch more OC.
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