the advice archive   |   ask Ken & Ariel   |   fun   |   about us   |   home


Don't have a question to ask? Fear not. We've got other shit to read, scout! You see, in between answering questions and soliciting high school students, we'll admit, we get bored. The Love Blog, which you'll find on our home page, is a way to channel that boredom into something productive. It's where we talk about anything that happens to cross our mind. Like, "What's turning you on these days?" and "Do marionettes fuck?" Read on, and don't be shy about leaving comments. 'Specially if you're a chick with big guns. We dig that stuff.

BUT IS IT CHEATING?
TACKLING THE AGE-OLD ARGUMENT


DEAR KEN & ARIEL: One of my good friends has been dating another good friend of mine for years. But since we arrived at college, she's been on a "make-out" rampage, kissing everything in sight. In her defense, she hasn't gone any farther than tonsil hockey, but she claims she's still being faithful to her man. I don't know if the rules of faithfulness have been officially recognized by any governing body, but it would seem to me that putting your tongue in someone else's mouth would be classified as "cheating." Am I a prude?


KEN SAYS: There are those who believe that kissing is a fairly harmless act--how many times have you heard, "Oh, we only kissed" as an excuse for ultra-libidinous behavior? Truth is, kissing is a very, very intimate thing. And the act is almost always tantamount to something more. Yeah, it can start with a little sickly-sweet nose rubbing and playful smooching, but once two bodies are pressed together for an extended period of time, things start a happenin'. A hand brushes a breast, a tongue flickers into an ear, fingers make a desperate grasp for a belt, and before ya know it, you're staring down someone's south 40.

But for what it's worth, kissing can be really fulfilling, in a warm-the-cockles-of-your-heart kinda way. I've always been the sort of feller who wonders not how a woman will be in the sack, but how she kisses… anticipating that mystical moment when lips meet, mouths part, and epiglotisses (those li'l punching bags that hang in the back of our throats) get knocked about like boats in a storm.

But anyway, back to your problem: I detect a wee bit o' jealousy in your voice, sister. Could it be that you're itchin' for a piece of the action your pal seems to be enjoying just about everywhere she goes? If you're already worrying about being fitted for a scarlet P (for prude), you might wanna take drastic measures to bust out with a bold new you. Next time you see your pal sucking face with a gentleman caller, wait 'till said dude comes up for air, grab him by the lapels (or whatever he's wearing) and tell him, "If you think she's good, wait'll you try summa this," and toss a big wet one his way. 

Your friend might freak, the dude might be left scratchin' his head, but if nothing else, it makes for some interesting stories at the next morning's brunch.


ARIEL SAYS: Where I come from, engaging in tic-tac-tongue with plural partners means you are officially "playing the field," and it sounds like your pal is looking to hit one out of the park. (Watch out for them cold sores!) Your buddy's girl is a normal, 18 year old girl who has just discovered that she can do all the cool shit the kids on The OC do, and she wants to hold on to the boyfriend in case all cute lips on campus are occupied Friday night.

If she insists she's as pure as the driven snow, tell her you're deeply impressed with her open-mindedness and magnanimity, because you know, it's so funny, but you just heard that her boyfriend is doing the same thing across town. Maybe I'm being a bit narrow-minded. Hell, there could be a make-out clause betwixt her and her betrothed. But you would already know that, wouldn't you, because you're the lucky sucker who's stuck being a good friend to both.

So tell one good friend you think she's being a bit of a tart, and tell the other good friend that maybe he should start playing the field. And no dear, you aren't a prude. You just need to watch more OC.


<Read the Next Question>


 

 

 

 





all material copyright 2004 Ken and Ariel Productions, Inc.
For syndication information, contact our friendly asses at kenandariel@comcast.net