Funny n Weird Knit Stories and Jokes


 Knitters do it better on a double bed!

How did the knitter knit a suit of armor?

She used steel wool

Why did the monster knit herself 3 socks?

She grew another foot

Knitting and driving
A policeman spots a woman driving and knitting at the same time.
 Driving up beside her, he shouts out the window......
"Pullover"!!
"No," she shouts back, "a pair of socks!"

 

Supervisor dies when caught between an adjusting bar and the frame of a knitting machine

 

Three pregnant women are sitting chatting and knitting jumpers for their expected kids. 
The first one says "I hope that I have a baby boy, because I'm knitting a blue jumper.
"The second says " Well I hope that I have a girl because I'm knitting a pink jumper"
 The third woman says "I hope my kid is a spastic, because I've F@*%# up the arms" 

 

A scientist crossed a sheep with a porcupine.  
He got an animal that knits its own sweaters.  June Morrow

 

A man and his wife were sitting in church, the man was sleeping and his wife was knitting. 
The priest asked “Who created the Earth and man?"
The woman poked the man with her knitting needle and the man screamed, “GOD!”
The Priest looked at him and said, “That's right.” 
Then he asked “Who is God's son?”
Once more the woman poked her husband with the needle, he woke up and screamed, “Jesus Christ!”
Again, the priest said, “Correct.” 
Finally, the priest asked, “What did Eve say to Adam when she didn't want any more children?”
The knitter poked her husband again, but this time he screamed “Poke me with that thing one more time and I'm going to rip  it off!”
The priest smiled and said, “That's right.” 

 

 Mrs. M. : "Why are you Knitting your son three socks instead of a pair ?      
 Mrs. W. : "He just wrote home that he's grown another foot since being in the Army."

 

It's like agism, etc.
I attend an ongoing knitting class on Mondays. What we have noticed is when we tell people that we're
attending a knitting class we get the weirdest looks and reactions. So woman have started to tell people
that Monday's is when she has her golf lessons, another says that she's studying to be a broker on
Mondays.  I tell people that I have a class at the Planetarium on Mondays. June Morrow

 

Knitting when we were children my sister wanted to learn to knit. My mother sent her to the local wool shop.  She came back in tears and said they only sold quick knit wool (today double knit) and she couldn't knit quick. (70yrs ago)   joan schofield


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   Updated Thursday June 08, 2006