| Monday, December 11, 1995 | |
|---|---|
| PostMonologue | Quiz Machine - A Visit to the CBS Store |
| 1st Guest | Bob Hoskins - Fire Eating |
| 2nd Guest | Martha Stewart - Fun with Chainsaws |
| Music | Al Green |
| Other | Mayor Giuliani salutes 5000th show |
| Bite Me | |
| Tuesday, December 12, 1995 | |
|---|---|
| PostMonologue | Christmas Cards - Montage of Highlights from First 500 shows |
| Top Ten | Goofiest Audience Driver's License Photos |
| 1st Guest | Jean Claude Van Damme |
| 2nd Guest | Kirstin Dunst |
| Music | Michael Bolton - Can I touch you there? |
| Other | Watching the show with Firefighters |
| Hot Screaming Pants | |
| Wednesday, December 13, 1995 | |
|---|---|
| PostMonologue | What's on other channels for the holidays |
| Top Ten | Things Madonna is Looking for in a Husband |
| 1st Guest | Martin Short |
| Middle Bit | Special holiday presentation of the Cable-Pulling Guy |
| 2nd Guest | Bev Tanner, the Baking Maniac |
| Music | The Dave Matthews Band - Satellite |
| Ah! Fresh Pants | |
| Thursday, December 14, 1995 | |
|---|---|
| PreShow | Harrison & Dave vie for the same woman |
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (How old is your eggnog?) |
| Top Ten | Things NYC Cab Drivers Want for Christmas |
| 1st Guest | Harrison Ford |
| 2nd Guest | Bonnie Hunt |
| Music | Bruce Springsteen |
| Pants from Space | |
| Friday, December 15, 1995 | |
|---|---|
| PostMonologue | Rupert Annoys Consumers (including two very annoyed diners) |
| Top Ten | Things President Clinton is Hiding in his Whitewater Notes |
| 1st Guest | Greg Kinnear |
| 2nd Guest | Janeane Garofalo |
| Music | White Zombie |
| Other | Sending audience member to buy a Christmas tree |
| Pants, Doctor? | |
| Monday, December 18, 1995 | |
|---|---|
| PostMonologue | Quiz Machine (hamming, twirling audience member) |
| Top Ten | Least Popular Items in the CBS Store |
| 1st Guest | Kathie Lee Gifford |
| Music | Kathie Lee and Aaron Neville - Dreamship [shudder] |
| Other | Star Athlete Walk-ons (Monica Seles, etc.) - Rupert tops the Christmas tree |
| Ahhhh...... | |
| Tuesday, December 19, 1995 | |
|---|---|
| PostMonologue | A typical holiday for Dave's Mom |
| Top Ten | Good Things about a Blizzard in NYC (aided by Tiny, the world-champion sumo wrestler) |
| 1st Guest | Jack Lemmon |
| Music | Natalie Merchant - Wonder |
| Other | Audience members frolic in the snow (with Tiny) - Police decorate chalk outline |
| Nice Pants, Kenny | |
| Wednesday, December 20, 1995 | |
|---|---|
| PostMonologue | New Christmas Toys |
| Top Ten | Things Overheard at Santa's Workshop |
| 1st Guest | Miss Howard Stern (kissing and table dancing) |
| Music | Melissa Etheridge - Your Little Secret |
| Other | Dave arrives on snowmobile - CBS ice sculpture - Stern's entourage |
| [kissing sounds] | |
| Thursday, December 21, 1995 | |
|---|---|
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (taking a dip in the eggnog) |
| Top Ten | Prince Charles Pickup Lines |
| 2nd Bit | Dave & Biff replace a christmas tree bulb |
| 1st Guest | Geena Davis (Finnish magic trick) |
| Music | Goo Goo Dolls - Name (again with the eggnog) |
| I'm so fat | |
| Friday, December 22, 1995 | |
|---|---|
| PostMonologue | Dave talks to Kids about Christmas |
| Top Ten | Pet Peeves of US Military Personnel (aided by troops in Bosnia) |
| 1st Guest | Rosie O'Donnell |
| 2nd Guest | Mike Judge |
| Music | Darlene Love - Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home) |
| God Bless Pants | |
| Tuesday, December 26, 1995 | |
|---|---|
| PostMonologue | Dropping unwanted Christmas items from 7th floor - Staff skating party highlights |
| Top Ten | Least Popular Christmas Carols (aided by the Late Show Carolers) |
| 1st Spot | Stupid Human Tricks (smoke bubbles out the ear) |
| 2nd Guest | Julianna Marguiles |
| Music | Del Amitri - Roll to Me |
| Hey, Hey Brenda | |
| Wednesday, December 27, 1995 | |
|---|---|
| PostMonologue | Staff New Year Resolutions |
| Top Ten | Signs You're Watching Too Much Football |
| 2nd Bit | Dave & Biff replace top bulb on Christmas tree |
| 1st Guest | Mandy Patinkin - Beat Out that Rhythm on the Drum |
| 2nd Guest | Terry Gilliam |
| Other | Dave gives audience member her first cigar |
| Brenda, where's Kenny? | |
| Thursday, December 28, 1995 | |
|---|---|
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (Dave as Victoria's Secret model) |
| Top Ten | Most-Returned Gift Items |
| 1st Guest | Robin Williams |
| 2nd Guest | Lauren Hutton |
| Music | Chris Isaak - Going Nowhere |
| Other | Dick Clark rehearsing for New Year's Eve |
| Come on punk, try me | |
| Friday, December 29, 1995 | |
|---|---|
| PostMonologue | CBS Bookmobile |
| Top Ten | Signs You're at a Bad New Year's Eve Party |
| 2nd Bit | Dave fixes a smudged camera |
| 1st Guest | Susan Sarandon |
| 2nd Guest | Drew Carey |
| Other | Sample of CompuServe's banned usenet groups |
| Give us a kiss, Kenny | |