| Friday, March 1, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| PostMonologue | Dave talks to monkey owners |
| 2nd Bit | Dave refills his beverage at Rupert's |
| Top Ten | Details of Princess Di's Divorce Settlement |
| 1st Guest | Robin Williams |
| 2nd Guest | Patsy Kensit |
| Music | Spacehog - In the meantime |
| Cute pants, sister | |
| Monday, March 4, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| PostMonologue | If I was Dave for a day... |
| 2nd Bit | "Ozzie Smith" sings a tribute to St. Louis |
| Top Ten | Highlights of Dan Rather's Career |
| 1st Guest | Sarah Jessica Parker |
| 2nd Guest | Treat Williams |
| Music | Cowboy Junkies (!!!!) - A Common Disaster |
| Other | Baseballs and an archery target |
| I smell gravy | |
| Tuesday, March 5, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| PostMonologue | Return of the dreaded Quiz Machine |
| 2nd Bit | Bob Borden reports from the Hello Deli |
| Top Ten | Surprising Revelations at the Kevorkian Trial |
| 1st Guest | Nathan Lane |
| 2nd Guest | Steven Wright |
| Music | Jann Arden - Insensitive |
| Other | Musical theater from Texas |
| I'm frightened | |
| Wednesday, March 6, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| PostMonologue | Republican Primary Lightning Round (1st Prize: shake hands with Pataki) |
| Top Ten | Signs You Should Drop out of the Race |
| 1st Slot | Stupid Human Tricks (kicking a water balloon) |
| 2nd Guest | Mira Sorvino |
| Music | k.d. Lang |
| I crave salty foods | |
| Thursday, March 7, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (Morty's show, So you need a hairpiece?) |
| Top Ten | Signs Your Wife is Having an Affair with Prince Charles |
| 1st Guest | Dan Rather |
| 2nd Guest | Bonnie Hunt (!!!) |
| Music | The Tony Rich Project - Nobody Knows it But Me |
| Rake the leaves, Kenny | |
| Friday, March 8, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| PostMonologue | Dave lunches with Cab Drivers |
| Top Ten | Things to do in New York during a Blizzard |
| 1st Guest | Dana Carvey |
| 2nd Act | Riverdance |
| Other | From spring training, Jason Isringhausen throws baseballs at an archery target |
| My brother's a jockey | |
| March 11-15, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| Reruns |
| Monday, March 18, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| PostMonologue | Quiz Machine (promoting world peace) |
| Top Ten | Signs of Spring in NYC |
| 2nd Bit | Dave gets a beverage refill from Dan Rather |
| 1st Guest | Ricki Lake |
| 2nd Guest | William Shatner |
| 3rd Guest | Ray Romano |
| Other | Audience member sings "My Way" |
| Goodnight, Lois | |
| Tuesday, March 19, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| PostMonologue | Know your Neighborhood |
| 2nd Bit | Paul Shaffer Cheats Death |
| Top Ten | TV Show Ratings or Warnings |
| 1st Guest | Mandy Patinkin |
| 2nd Guest | Tea Leoni |
| Music | Collective Soul - Where the River Flows |
| Other | Entire audience gets to touch Dave |
| I'm Dizzy | |
| Wednesday, March 20, 1996 - The Lobby Show | |
|---|---|
| PostMonologue | Giving pieces of the old studio to two guys off the street |
| Top Ten | Construction Worker Pick-up Lines (presented by construction workers) |
| 1st Guest | Barbara Walters |
| 2nd Bit | What New Yorkers think about the idea of a new set |
| 2nd Guest | Halle Berry |
| Music | Ray Charles |
| Other | Fire Commisioner Howard Safir oversees the proceedings |
| Who wants gum? | |
| March 21-22, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| Reruns |
| March 25, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| Rerun |
| Tuesday, March 26, 1996 - The New Set | |
|---|---|
| PostMonologue | The Making of the New Set |
| Top Ten | Things Overheard at the Academy Awards |
| 1st Guest | Phil Hartman |
| 2nd Guest | Rose Hamburger, 105-year-old horse-racing handicapper |
| Music | The Band |
| Other | Martha Stewart, Babe the pig, Some guys off the street singing a cappella |
| Dear sweet pants | |
| Wednesday, March 27, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| PostMonologue | Dave remembers what he did on Academy Awards night |
| 2nd Bit | Dave disposes of a leftover joke |
| Top Ten | Signs Your Basketball Team is not Going to Win the NCAA Championship |
| 1st Guest | George Foreman |
| 2nd Guest | Naomi Campbell |
| Music | Tim McGraw |
| Other | Conan O'Brian, A visit from the comet, Debut of Rupert's new set |
| Do you know where your pants are? | |
| Thursday, March 28, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (Finishing touch to the set from the Yankees) |
| Top Ten | Things Bob Dole could do to Lose the Republican Nomination |
| 1st Guest | Don Johnson |
| 2nd Bit | President of the New Set Fan Club |
| 2nd Guest | Michelle Kwan, 1996 world-champion figure skater |
| Music | No Doubt - Just a Girl |
| Hallelujah, pants | |
| Friday, March 29, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| PostMonologue | Dave Makes a Friend |
| 2nd Bit | Weird Guy in an Elevator |
| Top Ten | Cool Things about winning an Academy Award (presented by Kevin Spacey) |
| 1st Guest | Nick Turturro - singing the national anthem |
| 2nd Guest | Jenny McCarthy |
| Music | Stone Temple Pilots - Big Bang Baby |
| Other | Dana Carvey stops by to see the new set |
| You can't beat pants | |