| Friday, November 1, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| New York | From the Tsai Performance Center at Boston University |
| Dave | A man who was raised by lobsters |
| PostMonologue | Transforming a freshman into Big Man on campus |
| Top Ten | Things that Sound Cool with a Boston Accent |
| 1st Slot | Stupid Human Tricks (Spoonman) |
| 2nd Guest | Dana Carvey |
| 2nd Bit | Paul thinks the show is over |
| Music | Steven Wright |
| Let's go Bruins | |
| Monday, November 4, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| PreShow | Voting simplified for dumb guys |
| New York | Laminated in crystal clear lucite |
| Dave | The guy who looks at you funny on the subway |
| PostMonologue | News Review |
| Top Ten | Last Minute Dole Campaign Promises |
| 1st Guest | Mel Gibson |
| 2nd Bit | Unknown guest (in spanish) |
| 2nd Guest | Christine Lahti |
| Music | Joni Mitchell |
| Other | Marathon runner |
| [Calvert holding a note] | |
| Tuesday, November 5, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| Preempted for fascinating election night coverage |
| Wednesday, November 6, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Let me out of this voting booth |
| Dave | The next president of the United States of America |
| PostMonologue | A look back at the campaign |
| 2nd Bit | Getting rid of Dole is Old jokes |
| Top Ten | Ways Clinton is Celebrating His Victory |
| 1st Guest | Marisa Tomei |
| 2nd Guest | James Carville |
| Music | John Michael Montgomery |
| Other | Calvert conducts exit polls, Dave's travails in the voting booth |
| Give us a kiss, cowboy | |
| Thursday, November 7, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Keeps your skin moist, not greasy |
| Dave | A man who isn't making a dime on tonight's show |
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag |
| Top Ten | Bob Dole Excuses |
| 1st Guest | Brett Butler |
| 2nd Guest | Gary Sinise |
| 2nd Bit | How other Shows are Trying to Increase Ratings for Sweeps |
| 3rd Guest | Bob McCoy - from Museum of Questionable Medical Devices |
| Please, touch me | |
| Friday, November 8, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| New York | From the Warner Theater in Washington D.C. |
| Dave | Ted Kennedy's drinking buddy |
| PostMonologue | D.C. quiz |
| Top Ten | Questions I've Always Wanted to Ask the President (presented by actual political correspondants) |
| 1st Guest | Bob Dole |
| 2nd Guest | Ted Koppel |
| Music | Mary Chapin Carpenter - Let Me Into Your Heart |
| Other | Dave and Biff tour D.C. |
| Way to go Tubby | |
| Monday, November 11, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| New York | With a low, introductory fixed rate of 5.9% |
| Dave | The only man to climb Mt. Everest without pants |
| PostMonologue | News Review |
| 1st Guest | Jeff Bridges |
| 2nd Bit | What the staff likes best about Fall |
| Top Ten | Mike Tyson Excuses |
| 2nd Guest | Diane Sawyer |
| Music | Bryan White |
| Who ordered clams? | |
| Tuesday, November 12, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Keeps your skin moist, not greasy |
| Dave | The top-grossing salesman in the eastern district |
| PostMonologue | Know Your Current Events |
| 1st Guest | Marilu Henner |
| 2nd Bit | A final Clinton campaign commercial |
| Top Ten | Signs Your Neighbor Has Just Won the Lottery |
| 2nd Guest | Kristin Scott Thomas |
| Music | Alan Jackson - Everything I Love is Killing Me |
| Other | Biff gets to be on TV |
| [Calvert saying "Yes"] | |
| Wednesday, November 13, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Help yourself to our complimentary salad bar |
| Dave | Heir to the DuPont fortune |
| PostMonologue | New Magazines |
| 1st Guest | Ron Howard |
| 2nd Bit | Pat Farmer: Consumer Watchdog |
| Top Ten | Signs You've Been Kidnapped by a Dumb Guy |
| 2nd Guest | Patrick Ewing |
| 3rd Guest | Gene Catron (trick-shot master) |
| Sitting In | Josh Redman |
| God, that's tasty | |
| Thursday, November 14, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Your third taxi ride is free |
| Dave | Mike Tyson's new sparring partner |
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (the living club) |
| 1st Guest | Tony Randall |
| 2nd Bit | Paul on Hard Copy |
| Top Ten | Ways Michael Jackson is Preparing for Fatherhood |
| Standup | Wendy Liebman |
| 3rd Guest | Helena Bonham Carter |
| Other | Ed McMahon |
| Friday, November 15, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| New York | From the Steppenwolf Theater in Chicago, Illinois |
| Dave | Chicago Bull's towel boy |
| PostMonologue | Dave spends the day with Dennis Rodman |
| Top Ten | Favorite Illinois Names (presented by eponymous people) |
| 1st Slot | Stupid Pet Tricks |
| 2nd Guest | Anthony Edwards |
| Music | Natalie Cole - When I Fall in Love |
| Deep dish pants | |
| Monday, November 18, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Now with real bacon flavor |
| PostMonologue | News Review |
| 2nd Bit | Audience members telling jokes |
| 1st Guest | Sarah Ferguson |
| Top Ten | Ways O.J. Simpson is Raising Legal Funds |
| 2nd Guest | Derek Jeter |
| Music | Reba McEntire |
| Take me home | |
| Tuesday, November 19, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| New York | A division of Microsoft |
| Dave | Boris Yeltsin's physical therapist |
| PostMonologue | What's the deal with Michael Jackson? (Samantha) |
| 1st Guest | Heather Locklear |
| 2nd Bit | Titanic! (parts I and II) - Stuffing the Giant Turkey in Rockefeller Plaza |
| Top Ten | Signs There's Already Trouble in Michael Jackson's Marriage |
| 2nd Guest | Sinbad |
| Music | Tony Toni Tone |
| Beat it, Winky | |
| Wednesday, November 20, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Make no payments until February '97 |
| Dave | Winner of the Nobel Prize for stuffing |
| PostMonologue | Dave's Record Collection |
| 1st Guest | Glenn Close |
| Top Ten | Surprises in Kato Kaelin's Testimony |
| Standup | Marc Maron |
| 3rd Guest | Eriq LaSalle |
| Ha ha ha ha ha | |
| Thursday, November 21, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| New York | If the tester turns blue, you're a father |
| Dave | The man who leads the NHL in penalty minutes |
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag |
| 1st Guest | Phil Hartman |
| Top Ten | Things Overheard on Clinton's Visit to Australia |
| 2nd Bit | Biff Henderson's Hall of Science |
| 2nd Guest | Bob Costas |
| Music | Luther Vandross |
| Other | Hams for senior citizens |
| 60 extra minutes [Calvert] | |
| Friday, November 22, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| New York | From the Coconut Grove Playhouse in Miami, Florida |
| Dave | The Mayor of Miami |
| PostMonologue | Dave and Rupert annoy Miamians |
| Top Ten | Good Things about Being a Senior Citizen (presented by actual senior citizens) |
| 1st Slot | Kid Inventors |
| 2nd Guest | Will Smith |
| Music | Jimmy Buffett |
| Other | Dan Marino eats 100 stone crabs |
| More stone crabs | |
| Monday, November 25, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| New York | You'll never believe it's fat-free |
| Dave | Wearing a rugged, yet comfortable parka |
| PostMonologue | News Review (translated to Chinese) |
| Top Ten | Signs a Space Shuttle Astronaut is Too Old |
| 1st Guest | Lisa Kudrow |
| 2nd Guest | Delroy Lindo |
| Music | Wynonna |
| Ah, cabbage | |
| Tuesday, November 26, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Your call is being forwarded to an automatic voice mail system |
| Dave | People magazine's clumsiest man alive |
| PostMonologue | What Celebreties are Thankful For |
| 2nd Bit | Calvert talks to New Yorkers about Thanksgiving |
| Top Ten | Signs the Person Answering the Butterball Turkey Hotline is Nuts |
| 1st Guest | Dolly Parton |
| 2nd Guest | Jeff Daniels |
| Music | Dolly Parton - Today I Started Loving You |
| Sitting In | John Popper |
| Other | Pilgrim Mugging |
| Sylvia? | |
| Wednesday, November 27, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Cleans without drying your face |
| Dave | Starting his 3rd year of med school |
| PostMonologue | Dave talks to kids about Thanksgiving |
| Top Ten | Clinton Family Thanksgiving Traditions |
| 1st Guest | Martin Short |
| Cooking | Scott Bryan |
| 3rd Guest | Rita Wilson |
| Hey look, fudge | |
| Thursday, November 28, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Giblets for everybody |
| Dave | The Mayflower's cabin boy |
| PostMonologue | Thanksgiving Day Parade Quiz |
| Top Ten | Thanksgiving Movies Now Playing in Times Square |
| 1st Guest | Lea Thompson |
| 2nd Bit | Guessing what pies Dave's Mom made for Thanksgiving |
| 2nd Guest | Natalie Portman |
| Music | Stone Temple Pilots |
| Other | Late Show staff's Thanksgiving dinner |
| That's just fine | |
| Friday, November 29, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Make sure you get a receipt |
| Dave | Your waiter for this evening |
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag |
| 2nd Bit | Making amends to Sivareddy Gotike |
| Top Ten | Signs That You've Eaten Too Much |
| 1st Guest | Teri Hatcher |
| 2nd Guest | Brent Spiner |
| Music | Luscious Jackson - Naked Eye |
| Please mow the lawn | |