| Monday, September 2, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Shining star of the Caribbean |
| Dave | Youth hockey coach of the year |
| PostMonologue | Clinton Background Check |
| 2nd Bit | Audience member operates camera |
| Top Ten | Dick Morris Excuses |
| 1st Guest | Chuck Norris |
| 2nd Guest | Anthony Clark |
| Music | Jewel & Flea - You Were Meant for Me |
| Run like hell | |
| Tuesday, September 3, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Beware of the dog |
| Dave | Showman extraordinaire |
| PostMonologue | News Review |
| 2nd Bit | Trainspotting Guy |
| Top Ten | Signs Your New Science Teacher is Nuts |
| 1st Guest | Mira Sorvino (hair wheel) |
| 2nd Guest | Vincent Perez |
| Music | Beck - Where It's At |
| Do you smell gravy? | |
| Wednesday, September 4, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| Dave | A man who loves his chowder |
| PostMonologue | Democratic Convention Quiz |
| Top Ten | Things Overheard at the MTV Video Music Awards |
| 1st Guest | Whoopi Goldberg |
| 2nd Guest | Al Franken |
| 3rd Guest | Colonel Ron Severson (the human echo) |
| Other | Macarenaing audience member |
| Are you still up? | |
| Thursday, September 5, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Have you tried our fried baloney? |
| Dave | Mexico's most popular plastic surgeon |
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (Leonard the Overly-Medicated Squirrel who Operates Heavy Machinery) |
| Top Ten | Signs Dole is Getting Desperate |
| 1st Guest | Adam Sandler |
| 2nd Bit | Unknown guest crashes show to celebrate Late Show anniversary |
| 2nd Guest | David Cone |
| Music | LeAnn Rimes - Blue |
| Boy, I'm sleepy | |
| Friday, September 6, 1996 - Anniversary Show | |
|---|---|
| New York | We're three years old, baby |
| Dave | Anniversary boy |
| Compilations | Door-to-Door spots - 1st appearance of Rupert, Mujibar & Sirajul - Drinking and Cooking segments |
| 1st Guest | Bill Cosby |
| 2nd Guest | Brian Williams |
| Music | No Doubt - Spiderweb |
| Monday, September 9, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Look both ways before crossing the subway tracks |
| Dave | Japanese game show host |
| PostMonologue | News Review (Dave is presented an emmy) |
| Top Ten | Surprises at the Emmy Awards |
| 1st Guest | Jamie Lee Curtis |
| 2nd Guest | Pete Sampras |
| Music | John Mellencamp - Key West Intermezzo [I saw you first] |
| Other | Mellencamp gets Dave a present from Indiana |
| Here kitty kitty | |
| Tuesday, September 10, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| New York | If you lift it, you can keep it |
| Dave | With 10% real juice |
| PostMonologue | How would you like to have your own show on CBS? (Everybody Loves Gunther) |
| Top Ten | Ross Perot Campaign Slogans |
| 1st Guest | Jon Stewart (clip of his new, strained relationship) |
| 2nd Guest | Marv Albert |
| Music | Cranberries - Free to Decide |
| Damn, I'm fat | |
| Wednesday, September 11, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| New York | World's largest manufacturer of soap dishes |
| Dave | The oldest living American |
| PostMonologue | Back-to-school items |
| Top Ten | Signs You've Chosen a Bad Running Mate |
| 1st Guest | Cybill Sheperd |
| 2nd Bit | Cooking with Paul infomerical |
| 2nd Guest | Carl Coccilone (recovered his stolen truck) |
| Standup | Ray Romano |
| Other | Clip of Tyson vs. Seldon fight |
| I like pants | |
| Thursday, September 12, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| Dave | The reason they invented the mute button |
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (Rupert & Dave switch places) |
| Top Ten | Signs Your New Fall Series Won't be a Hit |
| 1st Guest | Tom Brokaw |
| 2nd Bit | 1-900 Republican Talk Line |
| 2nd Guest | Natasha Henstridge |
| 3rd Guest | Fan Yang (bubble artist) |
| Friday, September 13, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Where the Rio Grande meets the Nile |
| Dave | The holder of over 100 patents in the field of hair replacement |
| PostMonologue | Leonard shops for his 1st tuxedo and goes to the Emmys |
| Top Ten | Titles Being Considered for Anna Nicole Smith's New Book |
| 1st Guest | John McEnroe |
| 2nd Guest | Illeana Douglas |
| Music | 311 - Down |
| Do you like snacks? | |
| Big Comedy Monday, September 16, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| New York | A wholly-owned subsidiary of the Gap |
| Dave | Available in Japan as a plush toy |
| PostMonologue | News Review (Check Out That Dude!) |
| 2nd Bit | Tooling Around With Pat |
| Top Ten | Shocking Revelations from Sherry Rowlands' Diary |
| 1st Guest | Tim Allen |
| 2nd Guest | Tyson Koenig (Presidential trivia whiz) |
| Music | Suzanne Vega - No Cheap Thrill |
| Other | Sneak Preview of Pearl |
| Fix me a snack | |
| Tuesday, September 17, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Free pie for the first ten visitors |
| Dave | The first name in home security |
| PostMonologue | Is it Older than Dole? (with Samantha) |
| 2nd Bit | In Case You Missed Cosby |
| Top Ten | Items in Clinton's Medical File |
| 1st Guest | Fran Drescher |
| 2nd Guest | Jesse Jackson |
| Music | Travis Tritt |
| Does your head hurt? | |
| Wednesday, September 18, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| New York | What did you bring us? |
| Dave | Mayor of Times Square |
| PostMonologue | New Books |
| Top Ten | Signs the New Trial Isn't Going Well for O.J. |
| 1st Guest | Bill Cosby |
| 2nd Bit | Biff's Special Announcement |
| Cooking | Kin-Jin Mark (stretching noodles) |
| Music | A Tribe Called Quest |
| Other | Names for other nights in the CBS Prime Time Schedule |
| Pants are fun | |
| Thursday, September 19, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| New York | I can't believe it's not butter |
| Dave | The voice of the Hartford Whalers |
| PostMonologue | Brush With Stupidity |
| Top Ten | Signs You've Been in Outer Space Too Long |
| 1st Guest | Goldie Hawn |
| Standup | Louie C.K. |
| Other | A jealous Kurt Russell |
| Friday, September 20, 1996 - Late Show Free | |
|---|---|
| New York | Where we're not taking any commercial breaks |
| Dave | A man about to work an hour straight for the first time in his life |
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag |
| Top Ten | Things That Sound Cool When Sung by a Barbershop Quartet |
| 1st Slot | Stupid Pet Tricks (pit bull on a rope) |
| 2nd Guest | Drew Barrymore |
| 2nd Bit | Looking for ways to kill time in New Jersey |
| 3rd Guest | Tony Avena (81-year-old shoeshiner) |
| Music | Pearl Jam - Hail, Hail |
| Other | Bob Borden's 4-state Burrito Bonanza |
| Ka-Boom! | |
| Monday, September 23, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| New York | This pollen is killing me |
| Dave | The missing link between chimps and gorillas |
| PostMonologue | News Review |
| 2nd Bit | Big Comedy Monday |
| Top Ten | Signs You're not One of the World's Most Eligible Bachelors |
| 1st Guest | Sarah Jessica Parker |
| 2nd Guest | Andy Richter (Dave's ashtray) |
| Standup | Darrell Hammond |
| Mmmm...mmm...mmm | |
| Tuesday, September 24, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Freshness baked right in |
| Dave | A man who asks you to honor America as he sings the Star-Spangled Banner |
| PostMonologue | New for Fall |
| 2nd Bit | The Bob & Jack Show |
| Top Ten | Ways Clinton has Fun in NYC |
| 1st Guest | Ellen DeGeneres |
| 2nd Guest | Stephen King |
| Music | Trisha Yearwood - Believe Me Baby (I Lied) |
| [talking with mouth full] | |
| Wednesday, September 25, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Home of the 1969 World Champion New York Jets |
| Dave | The first name in carbonated beverages |
| PostMonologue | Looking for America's Most Eligible Bachelor |
| 2nd Bit | If I Were President... |
| 1st Guest | William Baldwin |
| Top Ten | Things Overheard at Princess Diana's Breakfast With Hilary Clinton |
| 2nd Guest | Jeff Gordon |
| Music | Vince Gill |
| Other | Sending Audience members for pizza |
| May pants be with you | |
| Thursday, September 26, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Your last chance for a sandwich |
| Dave | The right wing nut who's been causing so much trouble |
| PostMonologue | Dave's Video Collection |
| 2nd Bit | Top Ten Love Ballad |
| Top Ten | Sign's Your Elementary School Principal is Nuts |
| 1st Guest | Hugh Grant |
| 2nd Guest | Elizabeth Berkley |
| Music | Donna Lewis - I love you always forever |
| Pantalonis | |
| Friday, September 27, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Like having a city in a can |
| Dave | The inventor of Manhattan clam chowder |
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (twins, triplets, quadruplets) |
| Top Ten | Signs You're Married to a Spy |
| 1st Guest | Kirstie Alley |
| 2nd Guest | Matthew Broderick |
| Put on your pants | |
| Monday, September 30, 1996 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Where the living is easy |
| Dave | The man responsible for the fall of communism |
| PostMonologue | Everything is Funnier in Spanish |
| Top Ten | Cool Things About Being the Wealthiest Man in America |
| 1st Guest | Ricki Lake |
| 2nd Bit | Late Show Debates |
| 2nd Guest | Gillian Anderson |
| Music | Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers - Walls (No. 3) |
| Dear sweet pants | |