| Tuesday, April 1, 1997 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Home of the NCAA champion Arizona Wildcats |
| Dave | The original english patient |
| PostMonologue | Telling the 1st NY Mets joke of the season |
| 2nd Bit | Biff Talks to Grade School Kids |
| Top Ten | Ways the IRS Can Improve Its Image |
| 1st Guest | Tara Lipinsky |
| 2nd Guest | Margaret Colin |
| Music | Nanci Griffith - Everything's Coming Up Roses |
| Goodnight, Debbie | |
| Wednesday, April 2, 1997 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Free Strip Searches |
| Dave | King of the hobos |
| PostMonologue | What to do When You're 50 |
| 2nd Bit | The Monocle Guy |
| Top Ten | Signs the Ringling Brothers Circus Has Gone Downhill |
| 1st Guest | Dan Akroyd |
| 2nd Guest | David Kruithoff (he's his own dentist) |
| Music | Cyndi Lauper |
| Hey you | |
| Thursday, April 3, 1997 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Now caffeine-free |
| Dave | Hunky teen idol |
| PostMonologue | Know Your Current Events |
| 2nd Bit | "Riverdance" |
| Top Ten | Revelations in Marcia Clark's New Book |
| 1st Guest | Jean-Claude Van Damme |
| 2nd Guest | Brad Garrett |
| Standup | Chris Fonseca |
| Arleen! | |
| Friday, April 4, 1997 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Voted #1 by 3 out of 4 moms |
| Dave | A man whose middle name is fun |
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag |
| 2nd Bit | Pat Farmer's Live-Action Editorial Cartoon |
| Top Ten | Signs You're in a Bad Cult |
| 1st Guest | John Cusak |
| 2nd Guest | Liv Tyler |
| Music | David Bowie |
| Monday, April 7, 1997 | |
|---|---|
| New York | The city where everything is self-serve |
| Dave | Pop music sensation |
| PostMonologue | Dave does things he didn't get to do during his lost hour |
| Top Ten | Revelations in the Heaven's Gate Diary |
| 1st Guest | Anthony Clark |
| 2nd Guest | Joan Lunden |
| Performance | The world's only performing hippo |
| Music | Eryka Badu |
| I can't breathe | |
| Tuesday, April 8, 1997 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Escaped cons drink free |
| Dave | Clown prince of baseball |
| PostMonologue | How Many Bunnies Can You Fit Into an H & R Block? |
| 2nd Bit | The world's only performing turtle |
| Top Ten | Signs Your House Needs a Spring Cleaning |
| 1st Guest | Norm MacDonald |
| 2nd Guest | Justine Bateman |
| Music | Trace Adkins |
| Make daddy proud | |
| Wednesday, April 9, 1997 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Home of the mighty Mississippi |
| Dave | The Hale-Bopp comet of American TV |
| PostMonologue | NYC Auto Show Quiz |
| 2nd Bit | Kenny Sheehan - Vocal Chameleon |
| Top Ten | Canadian Complaints About America |
| 1st Guest | Charles Grodin |
| 2nd Guest | David Alan Grier |
| Performance | The world's only performing goldfish |
| Music | Matthew Sweet |
| More fudge | |
| Thursday, April 10, 1997 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Pearl of the Andes |
| PostMonologue | Know Your Current Events |
| 2nd Bit | Crazy Paul's Cult of Fun |
| Top Ten | Ways to Make Golf More Exciting |
| 1st Guest | Tom Arnold |
| 2nd Guest | Bernie Williams (playing the guitar) |
| Performance | The world's only performing cow |
| Music | Bush |
| I can't get up | |
| Friday, April 11, 1997 | |
|---|---|
| New York | In a light tomato cream sauce |
| Dave | A man who's doing the best he can |
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag |
| 2nd Bit | Strongarm Champion lifting things |
| Top Ten | Ways Dave Will Be Celebrating His 50th Birthday |
| 1st Guest | Kelsey Grammar |
| Standup | Jake Johannsen |
| Music | Tracy Chapman - Get Up Stand Up |
| Other | Marilyn Horne |
| That's not coleslaw | |
| April 14 - 18, 1997 | |
|---|---|
| Reruns |
| Monday, April 21, 1997 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Use as directed |
| Dave | Secretary of the year |
| PostMonologue | Wacky Accountant Bloopers with Marv Albert |
| 2nd Bit | Pat Farmer's Live-Action Editorial Cartoon |
| Top Ten | Things Overheard at the Brooke Shields/Andre Agassi Wedding |
| 1st Guest | Martin Mull |
| 2nd Guest | Alicia Witt |
| Music | Mary J. Blige |
| Hand me your shoes | |
| Tuesday, April 22, 1997 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Remember where you park |
| Dave | A man who believes everything he reads |
| PostMonologue | Snakequest 2000 |
| Top Ten | Other Ways That Bob Dole Can Help Newt Gingrich |
| 1st Guest | Katie Couric |
| 2nd Guest | Roma Downey |
| Music | INXS - Elegantly Wasted |
| I saw that | |
| Wednesday, April 23, 1997 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Trust No One |
| Dave | The new Man of Steel |
| PostMonologue | Small Town News |
| 2nd Bit | The Gay Late Show |
| Top Ten | Signs Your Kid is Spending Way Too Much Time on the Computer |
| 1st Guest | Tony Randall |
| 2nd Guest | Steven Weber |
| Music | Wilco - Outtasite (Outta Mind) |
| My name is froggy | |
| Thursday, April 24, 1997 | |
|---|---|
| New York | You catch it, you eat it |
| Dave | Happy homemaker |
| PostMonologue | Know Your Current Events |
| 2nd Bit | What They Would Have Had For Lunch if They Were Alive Today |
| Top Ten | Good Things About Being a 63-year-old Mother |
| 1st Guest | Lisa Kudrow |
| 2nd Guest | Umberto Buccigrossi - retiring shoe cobbler |
| Music | The Verve Pipe - The Freshmen |
| Call me Jerome | |
| Friday, April 25, 1997 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Where everyone is from Indianapolis |
| Dave | Mr. Hoosier |
| PostMonologue | Indianapolis Quiz (mom helps out) |
| 2nd Bit | Paul's musical ode to Indianapolis |
| Top Ten | Good Things About Not Making the NBA Playoffs (presented by Reggie Miller) |
| 1st Slot | Stupid Human Tricks |
| 2nd Guest | Rosie Perez |
| Music | John Hiatt |
| Don't call me | |
| Monday, April 28, 1997 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Leave off the last s for savings |
| Dave | America's strongest pain reliever |
| PostMonologue | Dave Celebrates Spring |
| 2nd Bit | Rupert's big announcement - Clip from the Dukes of Hazard reunion |
| Top Ten | Things Overheard During Celebrity Jeopardy |
| 1st Guest | Kurt Russell |
| 2nd Guest | Sinbad |
| Music | Paula Cole - Where Have All the Cowboys Gone |
| Other | Regis Philbin |
| Call me | |
| Tuesday, April 29, 1997 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Moisten, then apply |
| Dave | Pulitzer prize-winning photo journalist |
| PostMonologue | Sprucing up a cab for spring |
| 2nd Bit | Charlie Brown's big announcement |
| 1st Guest | Robin Williams |
| Music | Tanya Tucker |
| Other | Hosing down audience members |
| Stand up | |
| Wednesday, April 30, 1997 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Easy on the pepper spray, Kojak |
| Dave | Lesbian enthusiast |
| PostMonologue | New Magazines |
| 2nd Bit | Super Trophy Night |
| Top Ten | Other Celebrity Revelations |
| 1st Guest | Alec Baldwin |
| 2nd Guest | Joey Lauren Adams |
| Music | Indigo Girls - Shame on You |
| Sit down | |