| Thursday, May 1, 1997 | |
|---|---|
| New York | The city where kids eat free |
| Dave | NBA rookie of the year |
| PostMonologue | Know Your Current Events |
| Top Ten | Signs You Won't be Getting Into College |
| 1st Guest | Garry Shandling |
| 2nd Guest | Luke Perry (rappeling) |
| Standup | Wendy Liebman |
| Friday, May 2, 1997 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Where everyone in the audience is from St. Louis |
| Dave | Mr. "Show me" himself |
| PostMonologue | St. Louis Quiz |
| 2nd Bit | Biff tours St. Louis |
| Top Ten | Goofiest Audience Driver's License Photos |
| 1st Guest | Roseanne (entering on clydesdales) |
| 2nd Guest | Justin Miller, kid chef |
| Music | Chuck Berry |
| Other | Beer-cam |
| I want soda | |
| Monday, May 5, 1997 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Do you want bacon or sausage with that? |
| Dave | Acting baseball commissioner |
| PostMonologue | What They're Doing for Sweeps |
| 2nd Bit | Dave thinks the show's over (Japanese grill) |
| Top Ten | Reasons Donald Trump and Marla Maples Have Broken Up |
| 1st Guest | Bruce Willis |
| 2nd Guest | Elizabeth Hurley |
| Music | Maxwell |
| Other | Leonard Tepper's Hidden Video |
| Ha ha ha | |
| Tuesday, May 6, 1997 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Do you want cream and sugar with that? |
| Dave | Five-time steer-roping champion |
| PostMonologue | How Many Guys in Bunny Suits Can You Get Into a Fountain? |
| 2nd Bit | The Guy who Does what He Says He Won't Do |
| Top Ten | Things Overheard on Clinton's Trip to Mexico |
| 1st Guest | John Goodman |
| 2nd Guest | Kathleen Quinlan |
| Music | Hanson |
| Up against the wall | |
| Wednesday, May 7, 1997 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Your comfort is our only concern |
| Dave | A man who would like to tell you about tonight's specials |
| PostMonologue | Mother's Day Cards |
| 2nd Bit | What They Would Have Had for Lunch if They Were Alive Today |
| Top Ten | Ways Tobacco Companies Can Improve Their Image |
| 1st Guest | Mike Myers |
| 2nd Guest | Danny Aiello |
| Performance | Crossbows of Death |
| Thanks, grandma | |
| Thursday, May 8, 1997 | |
|---|---|
| Dave | Licensed air-conditioner repairman |
| PostMonologue | Know Your Current Events |
| 2nd Bit | Rupert Jee's Guide to Success |
| Top Ten | Signs Your Mother is Nuts |
| 1st Guest | Billy Crystal |
| 2nd Guest | Kristen Johnson |
| Music | The Bee-Gees |
| Kiss me, grandma | |
| Friday, May 9, 1997 | |
|---|---|
| Preshow | Minneapolis breaking news brief |
| New York | The real Mall of America |
| Dave | Golden gopher |
| PostMonologue | Minneapolis/St. Paul Quiz |
| 2nd Bit | Calvert interviews Minneapolites |
| Top Ten | Ways to Mispronounce Kirby Pucket (presented by Kirby Puckett) |
| 1st Guest | Ricki Lake |
| 2nd Guest | Kirby Puckett |
| Music | Soul Asylum |
| Other | Paul's musical ode to Minneapolis |
| Oh no | |
| Monday, May 12, 1997 | |
|---|---|
| New York | A wonderland of steam-tray food |
| Dave | Life's little mystery |
| PostMonologue | Rupert annoys people |
| 2nd Bit | Things Never Before Seen on Television |
| Top Ten | Ways Deep Blue is Celebrating its Victory |
| 1st Guest | Cybil Shepard |
| 2nd Guest | Darrell Hammond |
| Music | Linda Eder |
| Sitting In | Grover Washington, Jr. |
| For the love of soup | |
| Tuesday, May 13, 1997 | |
|---|---|
| New York | The first month is free |
| Dave | The air sole in the shoe of fun |
| PostMonologue | Big Entrance giveaway |
| 2nd Bit | Riverdance dancer (teaching Irish step-dancing at local schools) |
| Top Ten | Signs You're Watching a Bad Mini-Series |
| 1st Guest | Andy Garcia |
| 2nd Guest | George Foreman |
| Music | Travis Tritt |
| Other | Robin Williams |
| Ha ha ha | |
| Wednesday, May 14, 1997 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Less talk, more rock |
| Dave | Child prodigy |
| PostMonologue | Small Town News |
| 2nd Bit | Where are they now? |
| Top Ten | Things That Will Get You Kicked Out of Your Prom |
| 1st Guest | David Hyde Pierce |
| 2nd Guest | Dana Delany |
| Music | Spice Girls |
| Other | 8000th show |
| Let's make soup | |
| Thursday, May 15, 1997 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Has anyone seen my keys? |
| Dave | Veteran newscaster |
| PostMonologue | Know Your Current Events |
| 2nd Bit | Peanuts, updated for modern sensibilities |
| Top Ten | Signs the Knicks have Gone Nuts |
| 1st Guest | Helen Hunt |
| 2nd Guest | Susie Maroney |
| 3rd Guest | Jeffery Tambor |
| Hey, fat boy | |
| Friday, May 16, 1997 | |
|---|---|
| New York | The mile-high city |
| Dave | Assistant equipment manager for your Colorado Avalanche |
| PostMonologue | Denver Quiz |
| Top Ten | Favorite Colorado Names |
| 1st Slot | Stupid Pet Tricks |
| 2nd Guest | Jeff Goldblum |
| Music | Foo Fighters - Monkey Wrench |
| Other | a marriage proposal - Paul look-alikes - Paul's musical ode to Denver |
| Drop it, fat boy | |
| Monday, May 19, 1997 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Where are my pills? |
| Dave | Gridlock buster |
| PostMonologue | Dave hits for the Yankees |
| 2nd Bit | Leonard Tepper's Mile-high Hidden Video |
| Top Ten | Things Overheard at the Cannes Film Festival |
| 1st Guest | Meg Ryan |
| 2nd Guest | Lance Henriksen |
| Music | Mary Chapin-Carpenter - Better to Dream of You |
| Other | Silver Charm |
| I love soup | |
| Tuesday, May 20, 1997 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Now with lumbar support |
| Dave | Model prisoner |
| PostMonologue | How Many Sailors Can You Get Into a Chicken Restaurant? |
| 2nd Bit | Paul Schaffer's All-Star Tribute to Jimmie Walker |
| Top Ten | Signs You Have a Bad Apartment |
| 1st Guest | Barbara Walters |
| 2nd Guest | Ida Doggett - National bed-making champion |
| Music | God's Property with Kirk Franklin |
| Nice try, Vicki | |
| Wednesday, May 21, 1997 | |
|---|---|
| New York | First city in space |
| Dave | Appearing in the role of David Letterman |
| PostMonologue | Dave's Video Collection |
| 2nd Bit | What They Would Have Had for Lunch if They Were Alive Today |
| Top Ten | Surprises in the Jurassic Park Sequel |
| 1st Guest | Richard Simmons |
| 2nd Guest | Kelly Preston |
| Music | Toad the Wet Sprocket - Come Down |
| Thursday, May 22, 1997 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Dark jewel of the Amazon |
| Dave | Chairman of Columbia University's Physics Department |
| PostMonologue | Know Your Current Events |
| 2nd Bit | Special appearance by Steven Spielberg |
| Top Ten | Reasons Tom Brokaw May be Leaving NBC |
| 1st Guest | Matthew Broderick |
| 2nd Guest | Nicole Sullivan |
| Music | Savion Glover & Stomp |
| Any calls for me? | |
| Friday, May 23, 1997 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Collect all 8 million action figures |
| Dave | Our returning champion, with winnings over $12,000 |
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (Dr. Meat) |
| 2nd Bit | The Mujibar & Sirijul Show |
| Top Ten | Sailor's Complaints about New York City |
| 1st Guest | Jason Alexander |
| 2nd Guest | Griffin Dunne |
| Music | Sammy Hagar - Little White Lies |
| Who needs a ride? | |
| May 26 - 30, 1997 | |
|---|---|
| Reruns |