| Wednesday, April 1, 1998 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Doing business in the same location since 1953 |
| Dave | Lead attorney for Paula Jones |
| PostMonologue | Celebrity Interns |
| 2nd Bit | Stop Calling Me Chief - Saturday Night Live ending |
| Top Ten | Ways Clinton Will Celebrate the Paula Jones Decision |
| 1st Guest | Alec Baldwin |
| 2nd Guest | Heather Graham |
| Music | Barenaked Ladies - Brian Wilson |
| Sitting In | Willie "Blue Moon" Watts |
| That's just fine | |
| Thursday, April 2, 1998 | |
|---|---|
| New York | In the shadow of the legendary city of Machu Pichu |
| Dave | The second luckiest man in the world |
| PostMonologue | Know Your Current Events |
| 2nd Bit | Bruce Willis performing stunts live via satellite |
| Top Ten | Paula Jones' Lawyer's Excuses |
| 1st Guest | Tom Brokaw |
| 2nd Guest | Ice Cube |
| Music | Natalie Imbruglia - Torn |
| Please mow the lawn | |
| Friday, April 3, 1998 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Fabled land of the Incas |
| Dave | World's fastest man |
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag |
| 2nd Bit | NYC Spelling Bee Champion |
| Top Ten | Other Ways Clinton is the Luckiest Man in the World |
| 1st Guest | Tom Hanks (clothes trouble) |
| 2nd Guest | Matt Medenweldt (missed million dollar basketball shot) |
| Music | Scott Weiland |
| I just don't care | |
| Monday, April 6, 1998 | |
|---|---|
| New York | We play all the hits of the 70's, 80's, and 90's |
| Dave | Everybody's favorite cyberchat buddy |
| PostMonologue | Dave talks to NYU film students |
| 2nd Bit | Bob Borden's Looking for Leonardo |
| Top Ten | Ways to Make Filing Taxes More Exciting |
| 1st Guest | Matt LeBlanc |
| 2nd Guest | Natasha Henstridge |
| Music | The Lynns |
| Other | Titanic books |
| Call your sister | |
| Tuesday, April 7, 1998 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Right next to New Jersey |
| Dave | Legendary sword swallower |
| PostMonologue | Circus Quiz |
| 2nd Bit | Late Show Staff Spring Picnic |
| Top Ten | Side Effects of the New Impotence Drug |
| 1st Guest | Quentin Tarantino |
| 2nd Guest | Steven Weber |
| Music | Clint Black |
| Other | Teletubbies clip |
| Hit me again | |
| Wednesday, April 8, 1998 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Keep away from open flame |
| Dave | Legendary Chicago disc jockey |
| PostMonologue | Smalltown News |
| 2nd Bit | Bob Borden tries to set off car alarms |
| Top Ten | Signs You've Hired a Bad Easter Bunny |
| 1st Guest | James Belushi |
| 2nd Guest | Lacey Chabert |
| Music | Robbie Robertson - Unbound |
| Other | Fire guy without the fire |
| Stop it! | |
| Thursday, April 9, 1998 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Pure chewing satisfaction |
| Dave | A man who was voted Miss Easter Bunny of 1998 |
| PostMonologue | Know Your Current Events (blood feud) |
| 2nd Bit | My co-worker won't stop calling me Lillian |
| Top Ten | Accountant Pick-up Lines (presented by actual accountants) |
| 1st Guest | Val Kilmer |
| 2nd Guest | Jimmie Walker |
| Music | Cast of Cabaret |
| More ether | |
| Friday, April 10, 1998 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Best known for its fine porcelain |
| Dave | A man with all the answers |
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (North Park) |
| Top Ten | Ways the World Would be Different if it Were Run by Jerry Springer |
| 1st Guest | Billy Crystal |
| 2nd Guest | Hatty Jones |
| Music | Tori Amos - spark |
| Other | Buzz Aldrin |
| Cut your pants | |
| April 13 - 17, 1998 | |
|---|---|
| Monday | |
| Tuesday | |
| Wednesday | |
| Thursday | |
| Friday | |
| Reruns | |
| Monday, April 20, 1998 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Can we borrow your stadium? |
| Dave | Parisian chemist |
| PostMonologue | Easter at the Burnett's |
| Top Ten | New Yankee Slogans |
| 1st Guest | Gwyneth Paltrow |
| 2nd Guest | Harmony Korine |
| Music | Wyclef Jean |
| Drive me home Helen | |
| Tuesday, April 21, 1998 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Maybe you've heard of it |
| Dave | A man who wants to put you in a new Celica |
| PostMonologue | Shocking Facts about Celebrities |
| 2nd Bit | Commerical possibilities of the Guy on Fire |
| Top Ten | Ways to Irritate Bill Gates |
| 1st Guest | Claire Danes |
| 2nd Guest | George Millier |
| Music | Matthew Ryan |
| Other | Danny DeVito |
| Close the Damn Door | |
| Wednesday, April 22, 1998 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Look out below |
| Dave | Prominent Manhattan socialite |
| PostMonologue | New & Improved Nicer New York |
| 2nd Bit | Return of the Guy on Fire |
| Top Ten | Signs Your Top Ten List Sucks |
| 1st Guest | Jason Alexander |
| 2nd Guest | Isabella Rossellini |
| Music | Steve Earle - N.Y.C. |
| My accountant is Fred Nigrow | |
| Thursday, April 23, 1998 | |
|---|---|
| New York | A production of Merv Griffin Enterprises |
| Dave | The most trusted man in America |
| PostMonologue | Know Your Current Events (dancer) |
| 2nd Bit | Take Your Daughter to Work Day |
| Top Ten | Most Embarassing Jobs |
| 1st Guest | Ricki Lake |
| 2nd Guest | Vaughn Cordle |
| 3rd Guest | Rita Wilson |
| Other | Guy on Fire |
| Nice shoes, big shot | |
| Friday, April 24, 1998 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Where everyone in the audience is from Chicago |
| Dave | Chicago Bulls all-time leading scorer |
| PostMonologue | Chicago Quiz |
| 2nd Bit | Bob Borden interviews Oprah |
| Top Ten | Things That Sound Cool When Sung by a Blues Singer (sung by Taj Mahal) |
| 1st Guest | Jennifer Aniston (hair sucking) |
| 2nd Guest | Jerry Springer |
| Music | Al Green - Let's Stay Together |
| Sitting In | Lonnie Brooks |
| Other | Guy on Fire |
| Send potatoes | |
| Monday, April 27, 1998 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Surprisingly smooth |
| Dave | Your 24 hour source for traffic information |
| PostMonologue | Rupert & Dave look for an ad agency |
| 2nd Bit | Yankee Stadium diamond-vision disclaimer - Audience member eating a sandwich while not shaving |
| Top Ten | Rejected Replacements for Seinfeld |
| 1st Guest | Marisa Tomei |
| 2nd Guest | Ryan Leaf (Quarterback Challenge - open manhole) |
| Music | Alana Davis |
| Other | Guy on Fire |
| I like boating | |
| Tuesday, April 28, 1998 | |
|---|---|
| New York | The El Nino of American cities |
| Dave | Consensus All-American |
| PostMonologue | A Day in the Life of Dave (POV) |
| Top Ten | Ways Saddam Hussein Celebrated his 61st Birthday |
| 1st Guest | Jack Hanna |
| 2nd Guest | Ray Allen |
| Music | Dave Matthews Band - Don't Drink the Water |
| Other | Guy on Fire |
| Sitting In | Willie "Blue Moon" Watts |
| Hey hey Helen | |
| Wednesday, April 29, 1998 | |
|---|---|
| New York | A major producer of beef, leather, and wool |
| Dave | Authentic genius of the flamenco guitar |
| PostMonologue | New Books |
| 2nd Bit | Taking attendance |
| Top Ten | Last Words of the World's Oldest Man |
| 1st Guest | Patrick Swayze |
| 2nd Guest | Hugh Hefner |
| Other | Guy on Fire |
| Thursday, April 30, 1998 | |
|---|---|
| New York | At the mouth of the Red Sea |
| Dave | Grand master of suspense |
| PostMonologue | Know Your Current Events (directed by a monkey) |
| 2nd Bit | Mandy Patikin and the 1000th Show Song |
| Top Ten | Rap Names or Meteorlogical Terms |
| 1st Guest | Gena Lee Nolan |
| 2nd Guest | Mark Wahlberg |
| Standup | Brian Regan |
| Other | Guy on Fire |
| Stop calling | |