| Monday, March 2, 1998 | |
|---|---|
| New York | One per customer |
| Dave | World's oldest cub scout |
| PostMonologue | Celebrity Legal Problems |
| 2nd Bit | Pat Farmer: Master of Escape |
| Top Ten | New Tourist Slogans for New York |
| 1st Guest | Patrick Stewart |
| 2nd Guest | Frank Urbancic (grocery bagging champion) |
| 3rd Guest | Joan Cusak |
| Sitting In | Delbert McClinton |
| Other | Moving the Ed Sullivan Theater, Footage from Clinton's ski trip |
| Stop calling me | |
| Tuesday, March 3, 1998 | |
|---|---|
| New York | All news, all the time |
| Dave | A man who only kissed Monica Lewinsky |
| PostMonologue | Supermarket Finds |
| 2nd Bit | NASA commercial |
| Top Ten | Signs You May be at a Bad McDonald's |
| 1st Slot | Kid Scientists |
| 2nd Guest | Gabriel Byrne |
| Music | Richie Sambora |
| Hey, hey Brenda | |
| Wednesday, March 4, 1998 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Located high in the majestic Canadian Rockies |
| Dave | Worldwide Pants employee of the week |
| PostMonologue | Cat Show Quiz |
| 2nd Bit | Biff's Celebrity Telephone Interview (Leonardo DiCaprio) |
| Top Ten | Least Popular Children's Books |
| 1st Guest | Helena Bonham Carter |
| 2nd Guest | Peter Fonda |
| Music | Loreena McKennitt - The Mummer's Dance |
| Brenda, where's Kenny? | |
| Thursday, March 5, 1998 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Please knock before entering |
| Dave | A man who reported to spring training 60 lbs. overweight |
| PostMonologue | Know Your Current Events |
| 2nd Bit | The Making of the Top Ten List |
| Top Ten | Signs You're Watching Too Much Jerry Springer |
| 1st Guests | Siskel & Ebert |
| 2nd Guest | Karl Malone |
| Music | Mark Chesnutt |
| Come on punk, try me | |
| Friday, March 6, 1998 | |
|---|---|
| New York | I think it's time for pie |
| Dave | The finest legal mind of the twentieth century |
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (sneak peek at Dave's next movie role) |
| 2nd Bit | The Story Behind the Story of Time's 75th anniversary gala |
| Top Ten | Septuplet Pet Peeves |
| 1st Guest | Norm MacDonald |
| 2nd Guest | Richie Stachowski (kid water-talkie inventor) |
| Other | Gabriel Byrne and John Malkovich |
| Give us a kiss, Kenny | |
| March 9 - 13, 1998 | |
|---|---|
| Monday | |
| Tuesday | |
| Wednesday | |
| Thursday | |
| Friday | |
| Reruns | |
| Monday, March 16, 1998 | |
|---|---|
| New York | The El Nino of American cities |
| Dave | A man who everyone wants to slap |
| PostMonologue | Late Show Staff shares embarassing moments |
| 2nd Bit | Chair of Mystery |
| Top Ten | Rejected College Mascots |
| 1st Guest | Emma Thompson |
| Cooking | Alex Zanardi |
| Music | Willie Nelson & Emmylou Harris |
| Give us a kiss, cowboy | |
| Tuesday, March 17, 1998 [Preempted in Chicago by overextensive election coverage] | |
|---|---|
| New York | Come try our green hot dogs |
| Dave | King of the Leprechauns |
| PostMonologue | How Famous People Celebrate St. Patrick's Day |
| 2nd Bit | Jerry as Leonardo DiCaprio |
| Top Ten | Punchlines to Dirty Irish Jokes |
| 1st Guest | John Travolta |
| 2nd Guest | Jack Johnson |
| Music | The Chieftains with Ciscel |
| Other | NYC Police Pipes and Drums Band |
| Please touch me | |
| Wednesday, March 18, 1998 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Located in the majestic Canadian Rockies |
| Dave | Forward for the number one-seated Ball Sate Cardinals |
| PostMonologue | St. Patrick's Day Quiz |
| 2nd Bit | Bob Borden: Jaywalker |
| Top Ten | Signs You're in Love with Leonardo DiCaprio |
| 1st Guest | Bill Murray |
| Standup | Eddie Izzard |
| 3rd Guest | Gheorghe Muresan |
| Other | Paul's 60 Minutes Interview |
| Who ordered clams? | |
| March 19 - 23, 1998 | |
|---|---|
| Thursday | |
| Friday | |
| Monday | |
| Reruns | |
| Tuesday, March 24, 1998 | |
|---|---|
| New York | The only name you need to know |
| Dave | Winner of 13 Academy awards |
| PostMonologue | Movie Fun Facts |
| 2nd Bit | Pat & Kenny at the Oscars |
| Top Ten | People I Would Thank if I Won an Academy Award |
| 1st Guest | Dennis Hopper |
| Standup | Robert Klein |
| 3rd Guest | Patricia Heaton |
| Other | March Madness Play of the Night |
| Take me home | |
| Wednesday, March 25, 1998 | |
|---|---|
| New York | The southernmost point in the continental United States |
| Dave | Licensed practical nurse |
| PostMonologue | New for Spring |
| 2nd Bit | Stop Calling me Chief |
| Top Ten | Rejected Slogans for the Ringling Bros. Circus |
| 1st Guest | Charles Grodin |
| 2nd Guest | Edward Burns |
| Music | Marcy Playground - Sex and Candy |
| Beat it Winky | |
| Thursday, March 26, 1998 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Cooled by the balmy breezes of the South Pacific |
| Dave | A man who's invoking executive privilege |
| PostMonologue | Know Your Current Events (airline tickets) |
| 2nd Bit | Biff at Yankee spring training |
| Top Ten | Advantages to Being the Smallest Man on Earth |
| 1st Guest | Dolly Parton |
| 2nd Guest | Bob Hoskins |
| ha ha ha ha ha | |
| Friday, March 27, 1998 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Straddling the equator |
| Dave | Nationally known expert |
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (Pointless Science with Pat Farmer) |
| 2nd Bit | The smallest man in the world |
| Top Ten | Cool Things About Winning an Academy Award (presented by Helen Hunt) |
| 1st Guest | Al Franken |
| 2nd Guest | Lauren Holly |
| Music | Ani DiFranco - Little Plastic Castle |
| Ah, cabbage | |
| Monday, March 30, 1998 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Home of the NCAA finals |
| Dave | Athlete of the century |
| PostMonologue | Late Show Salute to the NCAA (with fruity balls) |
| 2nd Bit | Seinfeld last episode sneak preview |
| Top Ten | Signs You Won't be the College Basketball Player of the Year |
| 1st Guest | Evander Holyfield |
| 2nd Guest | Joseph Loveland (teen found $70,000) |
| 3rd Guest | Michael Moore |
| Sylvia | |
| Tuesday, March 31, 1998 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Home of the 1998 national champion Kentucky Wildcats |
| Dave | Mr. Baseball |
| PostMonologue | Dave's Record Collection |
| 2nd Bit | Biff at Yankee Spring Training (following Paul O'Neill around) |
| Top Ten | Rejected Major League Baseball Expansion Teams |
| 1st Guest | Don Rickles |
| 2nd Guest | Mimi Rogers |
| Music | Steve Miller - The Joker |
| Hey look, fudge | |