| Monday, August 2, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | A magical little town not on any map |
| Dave | Omaha Steak's customer of the decade |
| PostMonologue | Putting a million miles on a Toyata |
| Top Ten | Signs You're Watching a Cheap Horror Movie |
| 1st Guest | Pierce Brosnan |
| 2nd Guest | Saffron Burrows |
| More pants, Chester? | |
| Tuesday, August 3, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | The best kept secret in the tri-state area |
| Dave | The man who patented the awkward pause |
| PostMonologue | Stop Calling Me Kitty |
| 2nd Bit | Paul Schaffer's Countdown to the Millenium |
| Top Ten | Signs the 107-year-old Twins are Starting to get on Each Other's Nerves |
| 1st Guest | Tom Arnold |
| Music | Q-Tip & Busta Rhymes |
| Other | Alan's A little something for the Ladies - Golf Highlight of the day |
| We got pants for you | |
| Wednesday, August 4, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | 7 million people, 8 parking spots |
| Dave | Reputed kingpin of the Letterman crime family |
| PostMonologue | Travel Souvenirs |
| 2nd Bit | Paul Schaffer's Countdown to the Millenium |
| Top Ten | Things That Will get you Grounded in the Gotti Household |
| 1st Guest | Dave Foley |
| 2nd Guest | Jonathan Witherspoon |
| Music | Old 97's |
| Yours in pants | |
| Thursday, August 5, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | We were unable to remove this stain |
| Dave | A man who just spilled his soul to Talk Magazine |
| PostMonologue | Know Your Current Events/Deer Repellents... |
| Top Ten | Rejected Names for the New CBS Morning Show |
| 1st Guest | William H. Macy |
| 2nd Guest | George Miller |
| Music | The Pretenders |
| Get new pants | |
| Friday, August 6, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Home of your league-leading Trenton Thunder |
| Dave | Just back from his listening tour |
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag |
| Top Ten | Ways Quayle is Trying to Prove he's a Smart Guy (I don't know which writer thinks it's funny to ruin movies for people, but I wish they'd stop...) |
| 1st Guest | Ray Romano |
| 2nd Guest | Jeff Altman |
| Look at these pants | |
| Monday, August 9, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Featuring five daily nonstops to London's Heathrow airport |
| Dave | Bass fishing legend |
| PostMonologue | Summer Warning Labels |
| 2nd Bit | Paul's Countdown to the Millenium |
| Top Ten | People We're Pretty Sure aren't Deep Throat |
| 1st Guest | Regis Philbin |
| Standup | Dave Attell |
| Other | Calling the Goetz squirrel hotline |
| Oh my, pants | |
| Tuesday, August 10, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | The pearl of the Piedmont |
| Dave | A man who's now available on ebay |
| PostMonologue | Commodore or Pip? |
| 2nd Bit | Paul's Countdown to the Millenium |
| Top Ten | Questions on the Russian prime minister's application |
| 1st Guest | Claire Danes |
| Music | Smash Mouth - Allstar |
| Cute pants | |
| Wednesday, August 11, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Where the Tigress meets the Euphrates |
| Dave | Real-life David Letterman |
| PostMonologue | Dave's Video Collection |
| Top Ten | Least Popular Roadside Attractions |
| 1st Guest | Hugh Grant |
| Music | The Mavericks - Fool #1 |
| Hey, hey pants | |
| Thursday, August 12, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Where the hotel courts have the power to perform weddings |
| Dave | The actor who played Nick Barkley on The Big Valley |
| PostMonologue | Know Your Current Events/Portly Tv Weathermen... (Amen.) |
| 1st Guest | Rene Russo |
| Music | Tori Amos |
| Let's buy pants | |
| Friday, August 13, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Carpetbaggers welcome |
| Dave | Runaway bride |
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (Alan continues to get even) |
| Top Ten | This (video collection) Guy has Heard About Beef |
| 1st Guest | Shaquille O'Neal |
| 2nd Guest | Helen Mirren |
| Pants for life | |
| Monday, August 16, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | A chilling glimpse of utopia gone awry |
| Dave | A man who had to be hospitalized after giving 110% |
| PostMonologue | Failed Pick-up Lines |
| 2nd Bit | Channel 2 Newsguy asks "What do you NYers think of Hilary?" |
| 1st Guest | Tony Danza |
| 2nd Guest | Katie Holmes |
| Music | Robert Palmer |
| Hello | |
| Tuesday, August 17, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Hilary Clinton's hometown |
| Dave | Lothario of the loading dock |
| PostMonologue | Guessing people's weight |
| Top Ten | Signs the Guy You're Watching isn't the Dalai Lama |
| 2nd Bit | Clip from "Who wants to be millionaire?" |
| 1st Guest | Lara Flynn Boyle |
| 2nd Guest | David Brenner |
| Music | Everclear - Boys are Back in Town |
| Sitting In | Lamar Alexander |
| Hello pants | |
| Wednesday, August 18, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | No money down |
| Dave | A man who neither lifts with his legs nor his back |
| PostMonologue | Diving (on the phone) |
| 1st Guest | Andie MacDowell |
| 2nd Guest | French Stewart |
| 3rd Guest | Tom Dreesen |
| Sitting In | Terence Blanchard |
| Aren't pants nice? | |
| Thursday, August 19, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | We've got a good head start on Y2K civil unrest |
| Dave | The man for whom the Cy Young award is named |
| PostMonologue | Know Your Current Events (swedes) |
| 2nd Bit | Who wants to be a Billionaire? |
| Top Ten | Common Responses to the Question "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" |
| 1st Guest | Alec Baldwin |
| Music | Dwight Yoakam - Crazy Little Thing Called Love |
| ---- | |
| Friday, August 20, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Last stop on the famed Chisolm Trail |
| Dave | Crafted in unbreakable acrylic |
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag |
| Top Ten | Things Dumb Guys Think Pokemon Is |
| 1st Guest | Albert Brooks (and his parrot) |
| 2nd Guest | Omar Epps |
| ---- | |
| August 23 - 27, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| Monday | |
| Tuesday | |
| Wednesday | |
| Thursday | |
| Friday | |
| Reruns | |
| August 30 - 31, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| Monday | |
| Tuesday | |
| Reruns | |