| Wednesday, December 1, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | America's longest running game show |
| Dave | Rick Schroder's replacement on NYPD Blue |
| PostMonologue | Giving more help to Kankakee, IL |
| 2nd Bit | Rudolph Y2K |
| Top Ten | Signs You're at a Lame Riot |
| 1st Guest | Tim Robbins |
| 2nd Guest | Laetitia Casta |
| Music | B.B. King & Dr. John |
| Pants, the other white meat | |
| Thursday, December 2, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Rated TV-14 for violence and sexual content |
| Dave | Loyal opposition leader |
| PostMonologue | Know Your Current Events/Eating Utensils that Rhyme with Pork... (dismemberment) |
| 2nd Bit | Paul Schaffer's 10 Most Fascinating People |
| Top Ten | NASCAR Driver Pet Peeve's (presented by Dale Gerrit) |
| 1st Guest | Patrick Stewart |
| 2nd Guest | Al Franken |
| Standup | Bob Marley |
| ---- | |
| Friday, December 3, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | In the heart of bayou country |
| Dave | UN peacekeeper |
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag |
| Top Ten | Other Achievements Claimed by Al Gore |
| 1st Guest | Geena Davis (and her mouse) |
| 2nd Guest | Bill Murray (male synchronized swimmer) |
| Music | Fiona Apple - Fast as you Can |
| ---- | |
| December 6 - 10, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| Monday | |
| Tuesday | |
| Wednesday | |
| Thursday | |
| Friday | |
| Reruns | |
| Monday, December 13, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Home of Euro-Disney |
| Dave | The controversial work of art denounced by Mayor Giuliani |
| PostMonologue | Roll Call |
| 2nd Bit | Bush/Bradley irregular heartbeat ad |
| Top Ten | Ways to Make a Supermodel Angry |
| 1st Guest | Courtney Love |
| 2nd Guest | Tori Murden (first American to row across Atlantic) |
| Music | R.E.M. - The Great Beyond |
| Hallelujah, pants | |
| Tuesday, December 14, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Keep away from open flame |
| Dave | A man who just enjoyed a Belgian coke |
| PostMonologue | Back to the Luggage Store |
| 2nd Bit | Hillary Clinton's Hanukkah |
| Top Ten | Successful NASA Missions |
| 1st Guest | Gwyneth Paltrow |
| Music | Blondie - Hanging on the Telephone |
| You can't beat pants | |
| Wednesday, December 15, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Welcome stranger, would you like a date? |
| Dave | A man kept alive by daily injections of monkey hormones |
| PostMonologue | Christmas Cards |
| 2nd Bit | Philadelphia Fliers shooting hockey pucks at a cardboard Dave |
| Top Ten | Demands of Striking Elves |
| 1st Guest | Danny DeVito |
| 2nd Guest | Harry Smith |
| Other | Turkish ping-pong player |
| Bite me | |
| Thursday, December 16, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | A round of drinks for anyone named Pedro |
| Dave | A man whose hairpiece is 98% Y2K compliant |
| PostMonologue | Know Your Current Events/Billy Dee Williams' Paintings... |
| 2nd Bit | Pat & Kenny Read Oprah Transcripts (Celine Dion) |
| Top Ten | Least Rented Christmas Movies |
| 1st Guest | Jim Carrey (celebrating New Years) |
| Music | Alanis Morrisette |
| Hot screaming pants | |
| Friday, December 17, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Jewel of the Texas panhandle |
| Dave | The new lead singer of Van Halen |
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag |
| Top Ten | Intriguing Facts About Albert Einstein |
| 1st Guest | Joe Breen |
| 2nd Guest | Jude Law |
| Ah, fresh pants | |
| Monday, December 20, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Make me a sandwich, Lydia |
| Dave | A man who discovered the perfect glass of water |
| PostMonologue | Topping the Christmas tree (neighborhood) |
| Top Ten | Things You Don't Want to Hear the Morning After the Office Christmas Party |
| 1st Guest | Tom Brokaw |
| 2nd Guest | Alex Kingston |
| Music | Run DMC |
| Other | Campaign 2000 |
| Pants from space | |
| Tuesday, December 21, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Pedestrian choreography by Bob Fosse |
| Dave | A man with a 750-Mhz pentium chip |
| PostMonologue | Dave's Video Collection |
| 2nd Bit | David Diaz with a holiday postal human interest story |
| Top Ten | Signs the Stress is Getting to Santa |
| 1st Guest | Emily Watson |
| 2nd Guest | LL Cool J |
| Other | Campaign 2000, Lee Iacocca on an electric bicycle |
| Pants, doctor? | |
| Wednesday, December 22, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Your bike stolen in 30 minutes or it's free |
| Dave | A man who wears 2 connected monacles |
| PostMonologue | Tapping into the Butterball Turkey Hotline |
| Top Ten | Things a Department Store Santa Doesn't Want to Hear from a Kid (with video) |
| 1st Guest | Marv Albert |
| 2nd Guest | Heather Matarazzo |
| Music | Bruce Henderson |
| Other | Campaign 2000, looking at the moon |
| Ahhhh | |
| Thursday, December 23, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | I never know what this thing is for (?) |
| Dave | The toy every kid is asking for |
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag |
| Top Ten | Favorite Adult Films of Wall Street Traders |
| 1st Guest | Hallie Eisenberg |
| 2nd Guest | Jon Witherspoon |
| Music | Darlene Love - Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home) |
| Other | Campaign 2000 |
| ---- | |
| Christmas Eve, December 24, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| Preempted |
| Monday, December 27, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Visit our fascinating salt flats |
| Dave | A man who names his own price for groceries |
| PostMonologue | Who Asked for It? |
| Top Ten | Features of the New Popemobile |
| 1st Guest | Matt Damon |
| Music | Q-Tip |
| Other | Campaign 2000 |
| [kissing sounds] | |
| Tuesday, December 28, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | The doctor will see you now |
| Dave | A man who's caring and connected |
| PostMonologue | Campaign 2000 (phone call) |
| Top Ten | Things First Time Visitors to NYC Say |
| 2nd Bit | Alan Kalter Minute |
| 1st Guest | Isabella Rossellini |
| Cooking | Bev Tanner |
| Other | Buchanan campaign ad |
| I'm so fat | |
| Wednesday, December 29, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Future site of y2k rubble |
| Dave | Long-time listener, first-time caller |
| PostMonologue | Most Influential People of the Millenium |
| 2nd Bit | Pat Farmer's People I Don't Want to Kiss at Midnight New Year's Eve |
| Top Ten | Phrases Not Spoken This Millenium |
| 1st Guest | Jay Thomas |
| 2nd Guest | Nick Nordberg (kid, delivered baby sister) |
| Other | Campaign 2000, Christmas tree quarterback challenge redux, Drum solo |
| Stop calling me! | |
| Thursday, December 30, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Save during every afternoon in Times Square |
| Dave | The evil genius behind Monsanto's genetically engineered seeds |
| PostMonologue | Know Your Current Events (retired announcer) |
| Top Ten | Dumb Guys New Year's Resolutions |
| 1st Guest | Dick Clark |
| 2nd Guest | Ralph Charles (100-year-old pilot) |
| Other | Campaign 2000 (newsanchor clip) |
| Hey, hey Brenda | |
| Friday, December 31, 1999 - Primetime | |
|---|---|
| PreShow | Cork mishap |
| New York | We've got a backup generator |
| Dave | A man who just swallowed a noise-maker |
| PostMonologue | New Year's Eve in Times Square Quiz |
| 2nd Bit | Watching year change in Greenland |
| Top Ten | Effects of Y2K (presented by James Earl Jones) |
| 1st Slot | Stupid Human Tricks (Collaborative balloon inflation) |
| Standup | Kevin James |
| Music | The Brooklyn Philharmonic (Beethoven's 9th) |
| Kaboom! | |