| Monday, May 3, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Located on an asteroid 40 million light years from earth |
| Dave | One of the West's most notorious gunslingers |
| PostMonologue | Bad Career Moves |
| 2nd Bit | Noah's Ark disclaimer |
| Top Ten | Other Death-Defying Stunts Robbie Knieval Won't Perform |
| 1st Guest | Tom Brokaw |
| Music | Robbie Williams |
| Secret Word | Thimble |
| Other | Another Secret Word winner |
| I'm so fat | |
| Tuesday, May 4, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | It's not on any map |
| Dave | Secretary of the Interior |
| PostMonologue | More parallel parking |
| Top Ten | New Slogans for the new WCW Cologne |
| 1st Guest | Earvin Magic Johnson |
| 2nd Guest | Sara Gentile |
| Music | Silverchair |
| Secret Word | Incinerate |
| Stop calling me | |
| Wednesday, May 5, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Carved out over millions of years by the Colorado river |
| Dave | Country music's man of the year |
| PostMonologue | Mother's Day Cards |
| Top Ten | Least Popular Shows on the Discovery Channel |
| 1st Guest | Denny Brauer (bass fishing champion) |
| Music | Kelly Willis |
| 3rd Guest | Jesse Jackson (delayed) |
| Secret Word | Undershirt |
| Hey, hey Brenda | |
| Thursday, May 6, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| Cold Opening | Dave tries to get help with his contract |
| New York | A small working class town in Cuba |
| Dave | High priest in the temple of Isis |
| PostMonologue | Know Your Current Events/Cuts of Meat |
| 2nd Bit | Two-time Secret Word winner |
| 1st Guest | Brendan Fraser |
| 2nd Guest | Jesse Jackson |
| Music | Bonnie Raitt |
| Secret Word | Biscuit |
| Brenda, where's Kenny? | |
| Friday, May 7, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Where everyone in the audience is from Nashville |
| Dave | Backup goalie for the Nashville Predators |
| PostMonologue | Nashville Quiz |
| 2nd Bit | Biff rides around Nashville with BR5-49 making up songs about stuff |
| Top Ten | Nashville Predator Pickup Lines (presented by team captain) |
| 1st Guest | Kelsey Grammer |
| Music | Steve Earle & The Del McCoury Band |
| Come on punk, try me | |
| Monday, May 10, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | In the spectacular Tucsan countryside |
| Dave | Sentimental strong man |
| PostMonologue | Who asked for it? (A word to the wise) |
| Top Ten | Things Dumb Guys Look for in a Car |
| 1st Slot | Stupid Pet Tricks (followed by a board of inquiry) |
| 2nd Guest | Janeane Garofalo |
| Standup | Brian Regan |
| Secret Word | Wizzmowizzmomonocchi/Ball |
| Give us a kiss, Kenny | |
| Tuesday, May 11, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | In the Australian outback |
| Dave | Poet patrolman of Scotland Yard |
| PostMonologue | Next Time Bring Your Sister, You Hump |
| Top Ten | Summer Movies in China |
| 1st Guest | Ben Stiller |
| 2nd Guest | Camryn Manheim |
| Music | Eve 6 |
| Secret Word | Stick |
| Sitting In | Ben Robertson |
| Give daddy a kiss! | |
| Wednesday, May 12, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | For adults only |
| Dave | Pulitzer prize winner |
| PostMonologue | Dave's Record Collection |
| 2nd Bit | Sprucing up the audience |
| Top Ten | Bad Things about having a Summer Time Share with Darth Vader |
| 1st Guest | Kathie Lee Gifford |
| Music | Deana Carter |
| Secret Word | Winky |
| I'm packed with gas | |
| Thursday, May 13, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Did someone say carbon monoxide? |
| Dave | A founding member of KISS |
| PostMonologue | Know Your Current Events (retired music teacher/keyboardist) |
| 2nd Bit | Multiple Secret Word winners |
| Top Ten | Headlines You See Every Few Months |
| 1st Guest | Kevin Kline |
| 2nd Guest | Leelee Sobieski |
| Music | Beth Orton - Stolen Car |
| Secret Word | Scooter |
| Flip the switch, froggy | |
| Friday, May 14, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Where everyone in the audience is from Philadelphia |
| Dave | The former Mr. Betsy Ross |
| PostMonologue | Philadelphia Quiz |
| 2nd Bit | Biff's Rocky parody |
| Top Ten | Curt Schilling's Pre-game Rituals (presented by eponymous) |
| 1st Guest | Bill Cosby (stickball & singing) |
| 2nd Guest | Jon Favreau |
| I need a ride | |
| Monday, May 17, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Rated MA for language, violence, and sexual activity |
| Dave | Gullible cult member |
| PostMonologue | Star Wars Merchandise Warning Labels |
| Top Ten | Other Movies Brought to you by the Guys who Made Atomic Train |
| 1st Guest | Julia Roberts (with pants) |
| Music | Alice Cooper |
| Secret Word | Molar |
| Give us a kiss, cowboy | |
| Tuesday, May 18, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Come on in, there's plenty of room |
| Dave | Insane parking garage millionaire |
| PostMonologue | Testing out the Aloha state |
| 2nd Bit | Pat & Kenny Read Oprah Transcripts |
| Top Ten | Signs Your Prom Date is a Loser |
| 1st Guest | Keri Russell |
| Music | Aretha Franklin - Nessun Dorma |
| Other | Dave Spends the Day with a Star Wars Fan - Joan of Arc clip |
| Secret Word | Polymer |
| Please, touch me | |
| Wednesday, May 19, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Mention this ad and get 50% off |
| Dave | Head of the physics department |
| PostMonologue | Late Show connections to upcoming summer movies |
| 1st Guest | Tom Selleck (hair retrospective) |
| 2nd Guest | Bob Barker |
| Music | Leon Russell |
| Secret Word | Turf |
| Who ordered clams? | |
| Thursday, May 20, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Take only pictures, leave only footprints |
| Dave | League leader in on-base average |
| PostMonologue | Know Your Current Events (modern dancer & professional football player) |
| 1st Guest | Helen Hunt |
| 2nd Guest | Courtney Love |
| Music | Hole |
| Secret Word | Alan |
| God, that's tasty | |
| Friday, May 21, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Where everyone in the audience is from Boston |
| Dave | Chum Boy at the New England aquarium |
| PostMonologue | Boston Quiz |
| 2nd Bit | Memorable Moments in Red Sox History with Dan Patrick |
| Top Ten | Things You Don't Want to Hear from a Fenway Park Hot Dog Vendor (with video) |
| 1st Guest | Natalie Portman |
| 2nd Guest | Tom Everett Scott |
| Music | J. Geils Band |
| Other | nagging acapella group |
| Is it gravy? | |
| Monday, May 24, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Expect delays for the next 12 miles |
| Dave | Maritime historian |
| PostMonologue | Killing time |
| Top Ten | Thoughts on the Mind of People in Line to See Star Wars (with video) |
| Music | Harry Connick, Jr. |
| 2nd Guest | Damon Wayans |
| Other | Know Your Current Events scandal |
| Secret Word | Announcer |
| Take me home | |
| Tuesday, May 25, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Pride of the Mississippi delta |
| Dave | Notorious Chinese spy |
| PostMonologue | Tony goes Back to School |
| 2nd Bit | Dave's Fun Time SAT Camp |
| Top Ten | Cool Things about being Bill Gates' Baby |
| 1st Guest | Kate Capshaw (calling Steven Spielberg) |
| Music | Britney Spears |
| Other | Secret Word winner (with bonus round), Testing Hawaii again |
| Secret Word | Asparagus |
| Beat it, Winky | |
| Wednesday, May 26, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | We plead no contest, your honor |
| Dave | Aging ingenue |
| PostMonologue | Small Town News |
| Top Ten | Losing Entries in the Pillsbury Bake-Off |
| 1st Slot | Kid Scientists |
| 2nd Guest | Sarah Jessica Parker |
| Music | Mary Chapin Carpenter |
| Secret Word | Angiology or Angiography |
| Ha ha ha ha ha | |
| Thursday, May 27, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | First reached by Norwegian explorers in 1911 |
| Dave | The annoying alien character in the new Star Wars movie |
| PostMonologue | Know Your Cuts of Meat |
| 2nd Bit | Second 2-Time Secret Word winner |
| Top Ten | Other Things That will Soon Reach Six Billion |
| 1st Guest | Bill Murray (with book merchandising) |
| Music | Everlast |
| Secret Word | Litmus |
| Ah, cabbage | |
| Friday, May 28, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| New York | We're stockpiling hookers for Y2K |
| Dave | A man whose likeness appears on the new eurocoin |
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag |
| 2nd Bit | Hilary Clinton on the Paul Schaffer Show |
| Top Ten | Signs a Guest at your Memorial Day Barbeque is a Spy |
| Music | Jennifer Lopez |
| 2nd Guest | Ira Glass |
| Sitting In | Lou Rawls |
| Secret Word | Bituminous |
| Sylvia? | |
| May 31 - June 4, 1999 | |
|---|---|
| Monday | |
| Rerun | |