| Monday, January 3, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| New York | ---- |
| Dave | The guy who sued Starbuck's after the accident in the restroom |
| PostMonologue | 1999 vs. 2000 |
| 2nd Bit | Calling an Oslo 7-11 about it's Y2K glitch |
| Top Ten | Yeltsin New Year's Resolutions |
| 1st Guest | Jeff Daniels |
| Standup | Jake Johannsen |
| Other | Campaign 2000 |
| Come on punk, try me | |
| Tuesday, January 4, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Nobody cares what your SAT scores were |
| Dave | The human monkey wrench |
| PostMonologue | May We See Your Photos Please? (chicken soup) |
| Top Ten | Other Things to Worry About Now That Y2K is Over |
| 1st Guest | Lauren Bacall |
| 2nd Guest | Kurt Warner (quarterback challenge - woodchipper) |
| Other | Campaign 2000 |
| Give us a kiss, Kenny | |
| Wednesday, January 5, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Personally signed by the artist |
| Dave | Hillary Clinton's wacky next-door neighbor |
| PostMonologue | Staff New Year's Resolutions |
| 2nd Bit | Monica Lewinsky on Larry King Live, Dave spends the day with a Pokemon fan |
| Top Ten | Ways the White House is Different now that Hillary has Moved Out |
| 1st Guest | Bill Pullman |
| Standup | Dan Naturman |
| Other | Campaign 2000 |
| Daddy needs a kiss | |
| Thursday, January 6, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Where expert care doesn't have to cost more |
| Dave | A man who burns through the screen with waves of magnetic energy |
| PostMonologue | Know Your Current Events (football player) |
| Top Ten | Questions on the NY Jets Head Coach Application |
| 1st Guest | George Stephanopoulos |
| Standup | Sue Murphy |
| Sitting In | Lowell Zelekson |
| I'm packed with gas | |
| Friday, January 7, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Where bad credit is no problem |
| Dave | Slimmed-down sexy siren |
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag |
| 2nd Bit | CNN coverage of the Turner/Fonda breakup |
| Top Ten | Features of a Really Scary Haunted House |
| 1st Guest | Edie Falco |
| 2nd Guest | Ray Lucas (quarterback challenge - champagne) |
| Standup | Andy Kindler |
| Other | Campaign 2000 |
| Flip the switch, froggy | |
| Monday, January 10, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| New York | We're liquidating our inventory to the bare walls |
| Dave | Retired head coach of the New York Jets |
| PostMonologue | A Moment in the Life of Hillary Clinton |
| 2nd Bit | Alan's message to Ellen |
| Top Ten | Good Things About Having a President with a Temper |
| 1st Guest | Kate Winslet |
| 2nd Guest | Ice Cube |
| Other | Campaign 2000 |
| I need a ride | |
| Tuesday, January 11, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Now with 20% more allergins |
| Dave | Former Cincinnati Reds slugger |
| PostMonologue | May we see your slides, please? |
| Top Ten | Donald Trump Tips for a Healthy, Loving Relationship |
| 1st Guest | Woody Harrelson |
| 2nd Guest | Shawn Presser (kid, had climbing accident) |
| Music | Filter |
| Other | Campaign 2000 |
| Closr | Give us a kiss, cowboy |
| Wednesday, January 12, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| New York | We're crawling with secret service agents |
| Dave | The next senator from the great state of New York |
| PostMonologue | Rejected FDA Products |
| 2nd Bit | Secret Service preparations |
| Top Ten | Questions Dumb Guys Would Ask the First Lady |
| 1st Guest | Hillary Clinton |
| 2nd Guest | Art Donovan |
| Other | Walter Cronkite |
| ---- | |
| Thursday, January 13, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Home of the bottomless cup of day-old, lukewarm coffee |
| Dave | The world's leading expert on Feng Shui |
| PostMonologue | Know Your Current Events (Londoner from Milwaukee) |
| Top Ten | Things Hillary Clinton Whispered to Me Before the Interview |
| 1st Guest | Tom Arnold |
| 2nd Guest | Art Donovan |
| Music | Lynryd Skynryd - Sweet Home Alabama |
| Other | Campaign 2000 - The Aftermath |
| Who ordered clams? | |
| Friday, January 14, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| New York | ---- |
| Dave | Filling in tonight for Miss Carol Burnett |
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag |
| 1st Guest | Regis Philbin (angiogram discussion) |
| 2nd Guest | Mark Borchardt |
| Top Ten | Headlines on a Slow News Day |
| Other | Campaign 2000 - Who's next? |
| God, that's tasty | |
| January 17 - 21, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| Monday | |
| Tuesday | |
| Wednesday | |
| Thursday | |
| Friday | |
| Reruns | |
| January 24 - 28, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| Monday | |
| Tuesday | |
| Wednesday | |
| Thursday | |
| Friday | |
| Reruns | |
| January 31, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| Monday | |
| Reruns | |