| Monday, July 3, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Not valid in Mississippi or Illinois |
| Dave | Disgraced Latin American dictator |
| PostMonologue | Celebrity Summer Plans |
| 2nd Bit | Pat & Kenny Read Oprah Transcripts |
| Campaign 2000 | Sailors & Marines |
| Top Ten | Signs Your Bus Driver Needs a Break |
| 1st Guest | Tom Arnold |
| 2nd Guest | Brian Wilson - Sloop John B |
| Other | Anna Kournikova Play of the Day, Darva Conger media coverage |
| Remove your pants | |
| Tuesday, July 4, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| New York | You want to see fireworks? I'll show you fireworks |
| Dave | Betsy Ross look-alike |
| PostMonologue | Special for Fourth of July - Late Show Liberty Dancers, Scenes from Late Show BBQ |
| Campaign 2000 | Fireworks by phone |
| Top Ten | Punchlines to Founding Fathers' Dirty Jokes |
| 1st Slot | National Hollerin' Champions |
| 2nd Guest | Skye McCole Bartusiak |
| Time for a kiss | |
| Wednesday, July 5, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Getaway drivers needed |
| Dave | Atlanta millionaire tycoon |
| PostMonologue | Smalltown News |
| Top Ten | Highlights if This Guy's Life Were Broadcast |
| 1st Guest | Ellen Degeneres |
| Music | Sheryl Crow & Steve Earle - Time |
| Other | Late Show 5th of July dancers, Big Brother clip, Tony Mendez Show clip |
| Kiss me now | |
| Thursday, July 6, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Last seen headed south on I-95 |
| Dave | Backyard wrestler |
| PostMonologue | Know Your Current Events/Fireworks... |
| Campaign 2000 | Joel from Survivor |
| 1st Guest | Daljit Dhaliwal |
| 2nd Guest | Shawn Wayans |
| Other | Out-of-Focus Celebrity Cameo |
| Buy me some pants | |
| Friday, July 7, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| New York | An etiquette-free zone |
| Dave | Human dehumidifier |
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (Maoist Alan) |
| 2nd Bit | Staffer, Not a Staffer |
| Top Ten | Signs Your Kid is Having a Bad Time at Summer Camp |
| 1st Guest | Jason Alexander |
| Music | Tracy Chapman |
| Other | New sidekick - Texas canine sergeant |
| Return to your homes | |
| July 10 - 14, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| Monday | |
| Tuesday | |
| Wednesday | |
| Thursday | |
| Friday | |
| Reruns | |
| Monday, July 17, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Come run for the US Senate |
| Dave | Three-time Golden Globe recipient |
| PostMonologue | Why They Would Make a Good Running Mate |
| Campaign 2000 | Gretchen from Survivor |
| 1st Guest | Bruce Willis (streaming video & surprise endings) |
| Music | Elliot Smith |
| No dice, Kenny | |
| Tuesday, July 18, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| Dave | ... coffeehouse guru |
| PostMonologue | Let's Look for Rats! |
| Campaign 2000 | Cindy Crawford's post-natal figure recovery tip |
| Top Ten | Signs You're a Lame Superhero |
| 1st Guest | Marilu Henner |
| Music | Dixie Chicks |
| Is the show over? | |
| Wednesday, July 19, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Site of the 1964 World's Fair |
| Dave | The fish sometimes referred to as a living fossil |
| PostMonologue | Summer Reading |
| Campaign 2000 | Late Show Presidential Debate update |
| Top Ten | Rat Complaints About NYC |
| 1st Guest | Will Ferrell |
| Music | Ben Folds Five |
| Other | Don Zimmer Play of the Day |
| I need help | |
| Thursday, July 20, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| New York | I'm going to wait and see if it gets better by itself |
| Dave | A man who hath witness thrust upon him |
| PostMonologue | Know Your Current Events (Indianapolis Orthodontist) |
| Campaign 2000 | 'Greg' from Survivor |
| Top Ten | Ways to Make the Tour de France More Exciting |
| 1st Guest | Jeff Daniels |
| 2nd Guest | Bob Sarlatte |
| We make pants for pets | |
| Friday, July 21, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Where priceless organs grow wild in the gutters |
| Dave | A man appraised at over $1200 on Antiques Roadshow |
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (Alan dispels Kathie Lee rumor) |
| 2nd Bit | Staffer, Not a Staffer |
| Top Ten | Signs You're at a Bad Amusement Park |
| 1st Guest | Jon Stewart |
| Music | Lucy Pearl |
| Boy, I'm hungry | |
| Monday, July 24, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Enjoy our complimentary Adirondack chairs |
| Dave | A man who doesn't do anything without consulting polls and focus groups |
| PostMonologue | Roll Call |
| 2nd Bit | Pat & Kenny Throw Frisbees across 53rd Street |
| Top Ten | Shocking Facts about Dick Cheney (punched up by an 8-year-old) |
| 1st Guest | Harrison Ford |
| Go call the cops | |
| Tuesday, July 25, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Please wait for our hostess to seat you |
| Dave | A man who bullies old folks into buying worthless stocks |
| PostMonologue | Beat the Clock (good-looking family from Missouri) |
| 2nd Bit | George Plimpton reading from Harry Potter |
| Campaign 2000 | Debate update - still no Bush |
| 1st Guest | Don Rickles |
| Music | Ween |
| Other | Presidential Running Mate ad |
| Time for the medicine | |
| Wednesday, July 26, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| PostMonologue | Survivor Highlights |
| 2nd Bit | Gore commercial |
| Top Ten | Agreements Reached at Camp David |
| 1st Guest | Kathie Lee Gifford |
| Bumped | Bev Tanner |
| Other | Update on mosquito spraying |
| ---- | |
| Thursday, July 27, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Half the quality at twice the price |
| Dave | Here to sing the national anthem |
| PostMonologue | Know Your Current Events (day spa) |
| Campaign 2000 | Jenna from Survivor |
| Top Ten | Things Kathie Lee will do with her Free Time (presented by Kathie Lee) |
| 1st Guest | Connie Chung |
| Standup | Harry Hill |
| My head hurts | |
| Friday, July 28, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Now owned and operated by Starbuck's |
| Dave | Swordfish boat captain |
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (Campaign 2000 Exhibition Debate) |
| 2nd Bit | Mystery farewell |
| Campaign 2000 | Evasive response from Bush camp |
| Top Ten | Signs You're at a Bad Beach (punched up by an 8-year-old) |
| 1st Guest | Roseanne |
| Music | David Gray |
| Run like hell | |
| Monday, July 31, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| New York | An empty mint wrapper on your pillow every night |
| Dave | Secretary General of OPEC |
| PostMonologue | Political Souveniers |
| 2nd Bit | Big Brother Promo |
| Campaign 2000 | Debate frustration sets in |
| Top Ten | Signs Your Neighbor is the Survivor Winner |
| 1st Guest | Edie Falco |
| Music | Macy Gray - When will I See You Again |
| Other | Dick Cheney on the Today Show |
| ---- | |