| Wednesday, November 1, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Welcome North American Catheter Manufacturer Convention goers |
| Dave | Esteemed biblical scholar |
| PostMonologue | Is the ball juiced? |
| Top Ten | Gallup Polltaker Pet Peeves |
| 1st Guest | Alec Baldwin |
| 2nd Guest | Gil de Ferran |
| Who ordered clams? | |
| Thursday, November 2, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Now with blazing-fast 1 Ghz chip |
| Dave | A man whose valves allow him to run on unleaded gas |
| PostMonologue | Know Your Current Events |
| 1st Guest | Kathie Lee Gifford |
| 2nd Guest | Mark Borchardt (video tour of Menomenee Falls) |
| God, that's tasty | |
| Friday, November 3, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Our exclusive sheeting action leaves dishes spotless |
| Dave | Head of Florida's sugar cartel |
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag |
| Music | Madonna (unplugged) |
| Is it gravy? | |
| Monday, November 6, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| New York | America's fastest growing urban sensation |
| Dave | One of mankind's foremost visionaries |
| PostMonologue | Bob Borden: Official Polltaker |
| 2nd Bit | Marathon recap, Ball State Fighting Cardinals' Fighting Football Highlights |
| Campaign 2000 | The last one |
| 1st Guest | Don Rickles |
| Music | Moby with Gwen Stefani - South Side |
| Take me home | |
| Tuesday, November 7, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| Preempted for election coverage |
| Wednesday, November 8, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| New York | We invented election fraud and incompetence |
| Dave | Confused senior citizen who accidently voted for Buchanan |
| PostMonologue | Election Night Timeline |
| Top Ten | Things Overheard Last Night at the Florida Election Commission |
| 1st Guest | Adam Sandler |
| Music | Outkast |
| Ha ha ha ha ha | |
| Thursday, November 9, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| New York | It's Dukakis in a landslide |
| Dave | A man who's too close to call |
| PostMonologue | Know Your Current Events (Rockford, IL & Puerto Rico) |
| Top Ten | Ways the US Would be Different Without a President |
| 1st Guest | Cokie Roberts |
| 2nd Guest | Patricia Arquette |
| Ah, cabbage | |
| Friday, November 10, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| New York | We're Hillarific |
| Dave | The network news anchor with all the folksy sayings |
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (writers thank America for Bush) |
| Top Ten | Signs Your Anchorman is Exhausted |
| 1st Guest | Lucy Liu |
| Music | Aaron Neville |
| Sylvia | |
| Monday, November 13, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Don't blame us, we voted for Roosevelt |
| Dave | Winner of the popular vote |
| PostMonologue | Biff's Campaign 2000: Too Close to Call |
| Top Ten | Dumb Guy Ways to Solve the Presidential Confusion |
| 1st Bit | Kid Scientists (liver in a blender) |
| 2nd Guest | Samuel L. Jackson |
| Other | Al Gore Fighting Football Highlights |
| Mmmm, bacon | |
| Tuesday, November 14, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Recount this |
| Dave | A man who's been double-punched |
| PostMonologue | Pedestrian Theme Songs |
| 2nd Bit | Alan's message for Hillary |
| 1st Guest | Bruce Willis |
| 2nd Guest | Charles Barkley |
| Sitting In | Arturo Sandaval |
| Other | Ball State Fighting Football Cardinals' Fighting Football Cardinals' Highlights |
| ---- | |
| Wednesday, November 15, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| New York | We got your ballot right here |
| Dave | Perennial Presidential Candidate |
| PostMonologue | Charts & Graphs |
| 1st Guest | Mike Myers |
| Music | Ricky Martin |
| Try the veal | |
| Thursday, November 16, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Hey Florida, nice job on the election |
| Dave | The judge in Dave's comedy court |
| PostMonologue | Know Your Current Events/Chads... |
| 2nd Bit | Bush emphasizes a fair and accurate count, Florida Ballot Counter of the Day |
| Top Ten | Things the Founding Fathers Would Say if They Were Alive Today |
| 1st Guest | Gwyneth Paltrow |
| 2nd Guest | Chris Elliot |
| Sitting In | Michael McDonald |
| Hello momma | |
| Friday, November 17, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| New York | The mistake on the lake |
| Dave | A man with a trunkload of absentee ballots |
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (intestines) |
| 2nd Bit | Ball State Fighting Football Cardinals' Fighting Football Cardinals' Pre-Game Kickoff Show |
| Top Ten | Least Popular Dr. Seuss Books |
| 1st Guest | Val Kilmer |
| Music | Everclear |
| Mmmm, ham | |
| Monday, November 20, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Congratulations President [mmbldes] |
| Dave | The next best thing to an actual TV host |
| PostMonologue | Political Week in Review |
| 2nd Bit | George Clark's Celebrity Interview (Bruce Willis) |
| Top Ten | Signs Al Gore is Depressed |
| 1st Guest | Susan Sarandon |
| Music | Kasey Chambers |
| Other | Florida Ballot Counter of the Day, Looking presidential, Ball State Fighting Football Cardinals' Fighting Football Cardinals' Highlights |
| I'm bloated | |
| Tuesday, November 21, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Where every species is endangered |
| Dave | Winner of the unpopular vote |
| PostMonologue | Presidential Election Beat the Clock |
| 1st Guest | Brian Williams |
| 2nd Guest | Faith Hill |
| Mmm, catfish | |
| Wednesday, November 22, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Where the rats outnumber the turkeys |
| Dave | A man who's thankful for plastic surgery and makeup |
| PostMonologue | Tapping into the Butterball Hotline |
| 2nd Bit | George Clarke's Celebrity Interview (Samuel L. Jackson) |
| 1st Guest | Richard Simmons (big turkey) |
| 2nd Guest | Giselle Bundchen |
| I'm disoriented | |
| Thursday, November 23, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Not what the pilgrims had in mind |
| Dave | Macy's parade most valuable balloon handler |
| PostMonologue | Macy's Thanksgiving Parade Quiz |
| 2nd Guest | Guessing Mom's pies |
| 1st Slot | Stupid Human Tricks (milk cannonball) |
| 2nd Guest | Keri Russell |
| Mmm, chili | |
| Friday, November 24, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Watch out for sidewalk gravy |
| Dave | A man who claims he invented cranberry sauce |
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (virgin) |
| 2nd Bit | Screaming obscenities recap |
| Top Ten | Things You Don't Want to Hear from a Guy at the Gym (with video) |
| 1st Guest | Matthew Broderick |
| Music | David Gray |
| Where's my cat? | |
| Monday, November 27, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Please deposit $700 for the next 3 minutes |
| Dave | Everybody's least favorite uncle |
| PostMonologue | What's the deal with old guys and giant glasses? |
| 2nd Bit | Election speech word count |
| Music | Bette Midler |
| 2nd Guest | Jack Hanna |
| Mmm, lasagne | |
| Tuesday, November 28, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| New York | Where everything's sold as is |
| Dave | Redneck outlaw |
| PostMonologue | Back to Preston Luggage (Al in a bag) |
| 2nd Bit | Canadian Election Crisis - Election speech word count |
| Cooking | Martha Stewart (beef wellington) |
| Music | Christina Aquilera - Merry Christmas, Baby |
| Other | Happy Birthday Paul |
| Gin, granny? | |
| Wednesday, November 29, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| New York | A paradox, yet curiously not a paradox |
| Dave | Proud owner of both standard and metric socket sets |
| PostMonologue | Day in the Life of the Bush Transition Team |
| 2nd Bit | George Clark competes with the ice entombed magician guy |
| 1st Guest | Jon Stewart |
| Music | Everlast |
| Other | Canadian Election Crisis - Rockefeller Christmas Tree Lighting 2000 - Election speech word count |
| Mmm, sardines | |
| November 30, 2000 | |
|---|---|
| Thursday | |
| Reruns | |