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| New York | Packed with information for the savvy investor |
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| Dave | Everybody's psychic friend |
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| PostMonologue | Know Your Current Events (Four Seasons manager) |
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| 2nd Bit | Tourist Tips |
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| Top Ten | Chapter Titles in Rudolph Giuliani's Memoirs |
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| 1st Guest | Keanu Reeves |
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| 2nd Guest | Tony Siragusa |
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| God bless pants |
|
| New York | An all-inclusive beach front family resort |
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| Dave | A name synonymous with fine dining |
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| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (bonus letter) |
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| Top Ten | Things Overheard at the Puff Daddy Trial |
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| 1st Guest | Jack Black |
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| Music | Aimee Mann |
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| Other | Alan's message for Good Morning America |
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| Pan-fried nappy |
|
| New York | Order now for guaranteed delivery |
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| Dave | World famous opera tenor |
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| PostMonologue | XFL discussion |
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| Campaign 2000 | Kel Gleason - Survivor 2 loser number 2 |
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| 1st Guest | Anthony Hopkins |
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| Music | Erykah Badu |
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| Other | Glass of slush - Survivor 2 Thursday promo |
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| Boy, did that suck |
|
| New York | Ladies drink free on Tuesday nights |
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| Dave | Oil-field roustabout |
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| PostMonologue | What's on TV this week |
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| 2nd Bit | Telemundo Soap Opera Update, Alan's message for Nicole Kidman |
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| Top Ten | Things Dumb Guys Think J Lo Is |
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| 1st Guest | Jennifer Lopez |
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| Music | matchbox twenty |
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| Other | Amazing desk screensaver, Inside the Osmonds promo |
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| Dear sweet pants |
|
| New York | Home of the Knickerbockers & the Metropolitans |
|---|
| Dave | A man who wants to be your Culligan man |
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| PostMonologue | New Books |
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| Top Ten | Things Overheard During the Gore-Clinton Fight |
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| 1st Guest | Marv Albert |
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| 2nd Guest | Katie Holmes |
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| Other | First attempt calling Australia |
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| Which one's Dave? |
|
| New York | Based on the BBC series Helltown |
|---|
| Dave | Dot.com CEO of the Year |
|---|
| PostMonologue | Know Your Current Events (Irish concert pianist) |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Late Show Prize Wonder Van |
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| 1st Guest | Regis Philbin |
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| Music | Rod Stewart |
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| Press those pants |
|
| New York | Home of the hits |
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| Dave | The toast of Paris |
|---|
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag |
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| 2nd Bit | Do Australian's answer the phone G'Day? |
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| Top Ten | Least Popular News Anchor Sign Off Lines |
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| 1st Guest | David Boreanaz |
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| Standup | Mitch Hedberg |
|---|
| Other | George Clark's Celebrity Interview (Ed Burns & Robert DeNiro) |
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| Remove your pants |
|
| New York | Site of Scotland's greatest military triumph |
|---|
| Dave | Actor turned cosmetics model |
|---|
| PostMonologue | XFL Likes and Dislikes |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Maralyn Hershey - Survivor 2 loser number 3 |
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| 1st Guest | Kelly Ripa |
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| Cooking | Jamie Oliver |
|---|
| Time for a kiss |
|
| New York | Please keep arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times |
|---|
| Dave | Fugitive financier |
|---|
| PostMonologue | Pizza Survivor (new location and reluctant contestants) |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Martha Stewart's fingers, Temptation Island clip |
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| 1st Slot | Stupid Pet Tricks (a dog, a duck, and a pig) |
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| 2nd Guest | Tom Cavanagh (Mask of Death clip) |
|---|
| Other | Calvacade of CBS shows (on the desk) |
|---|
| Kiss me now |
|
| New York | The fat ex-president's retreat here |
|---|
| Dave | Talented son of Barbara Streisand & Elliot Gould |
|---|
| PostMonologue | Valentine Day's Cards |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Streisand concert clip, Late Show office space for Clinton |
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| Top Ten | Valentine's Day Plans for This Guy |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Chris Rock |
|---|
| Music | Spacehog |
|---|
| Buy me some pants |
|
| New York | Now accepting Euros |
|---|
| Dave | Inventor of the mysterious gadget known as "it" |
|---|
| PostMonologue | Know Your Current Events (Naval Academy football coach) |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Biff Henderson's America: Franklin, ID |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Stephanie Seymour |
|---|
| Music | Nelly |
|---|
| Other | Steve Direnzo jumps off the theater |
|---|
| Return to your homes |
|
| New York | Finance now at our low introductory rate of 8.9% |
|---|
| Dave | A man who's been banned by every casino in North America |
|---|
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (four pretty good skits) |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Dave's Henchmen Force a Price Waterhouse Executive to Reveal the Best Picture Winner |
|---|
| Top Ten | Rejected XFL Team Names |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Megan Mullally |
|---|
| Standup | Eddie Brill |
|---|
| Other | George Clarke's Celebrity Interview (Kelsey Grammar) |
|---|
| No dice, Kenny |
|
| New York | My doctor says it's normal |
|---|
| Dave | Tool-using primate |
|---|
| PostMonologue | Westminster Dog Show Quiz |
|---|
| Campaign 2000 | Mitchell Olson (Survivor 2 Loser number 4) - with theme song |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Julia Roberts |
|---|
| Is the show over? |
|
| New York | Take advantage of our express checkout |
|---|
| Dave | Replacement beach boy |
|---|
| PostMonologue | Please Stop Calling Me Puffy |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Alan's message for Jennifer Lopez |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Samuel L. Jackson |
|---|
| 2nd Guest | Timothy Treadwell (grizzly bear expert) |
|---|
| Sitting In | Jimmy Smith |
|---|
| Other | Sports Illustrated swimsuit covergirl |
|---|
| I need help |
|
| Dave | Mr. Road Rage |
|---|
| PostMonologue | Who Asked For It? |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Stunt Man getting knocked down by hockey players |
|---|
| Top Ten | US Secrets Sold to the Russians |
|---|
| 1st Guest | James Caan |
|---|
| Music | Nelly Furtado - I'm Like a Bird |
|---|
| Other | Tim Russert Hacking Cough of the Night |
|---|
| ---- |
|
| New York | Resplendant in its vinyl siding |
|---|
| Dave | A man who was pardoned by President Clinton |
|---|
| PostMonologue | Know Your Current Events (Australia and Holland) |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | George Clarke at the Grammys |
|---|
| Top Ten | Favorite Elementary School Excuse Notes (presented by Henry Kissinger) |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Benicio Del Toro |
|---|
| Music | Shaggy |
|---|
| Boy, I'm hungry |
|
| New York | An ancient druid sacred site |
|---|
| Dave | Neighborhood eyesore |
|---|
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (audience gets in trouble) |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | High jumping canceled weather due to weather |
|---|
| Top Ten | Signs President Clinton Doesn't Care Anymore |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Bill O'Reilly |
|---|
| Standup | Jim Gaffigan |
|---|
| Sitting In | Sam Moore & Billy Preston |
|---|
| Other | Unenthusiastic Audience Member of the Night |
|---|
| Go call the cops |
|
| New York | Discovered by Dr. Ballard in 1945 |
|---|
| Dave | Obese Clinton in-law |
|---|
| PostMonologue | Nancy Agostini reads Nissan Open Highlights |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Lunch with Les & Fidel |
|---|
| Campaign 2000 | Kimmi Kappenberg (Survivor 2 loser number 5) |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Kevin Pollak |
|---|
| Music | Dave Matthews Band - I Did It |
|---|
| Time for the medicine |
|
| New York | Reformatted to fit your TV |
|---|
| Dave | Inattentive carnival ride inspector |
|---|
| PostMonologue | A day in the life of Bill Clinton |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Alan reacts to news of bacteria on Mars |
|---|
| Top Ten | Hugh Rodham Tips for a Happy Life |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Heather Locklear |
|---|
| Music | Alison Krauss, Gillian Welch, Emmylou Harris, & The Soggy Bottom Boys |
|---|
| Other | Survivor I and II comparison, Survivor accident promo, Paul's surprise |
|---|
| Do you like pants? |
|
| New York | May contain trace amounts of peanuts |
|---|
| Dave | Charismatic cult leader |
|---|
| PostMonologue | Observations on George W. Bush's speech to congress |
|---|
| Top Ten | Answers to the Question How Long was George W. Bush's Speech? |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Tom Brokaw |
|---|
| 2nd Guest | Leslie Bibb |
|---|
| Other | Lunch with Les & Fidel |
|---|
| My head hurts |
