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| PostMonologue | Intestinal parasites, Freight elevator |
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| 2nd Bit | Stephanie's trip |
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| Top Ten | Things This Guy is Thinking |
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| 1st Guest | Reese Witherspoon |
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| Music | Jonatha Brooke - Linger |
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| Other | Is this anything? |
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| ---- |
|
| New York | Near Sirus Major on the surface of Mars |
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| Dave | Your free gift for listening to our time-share condo pitch |
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| PostMonologue | Clearing up Stephanie's Hooter comment |
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| Top Ten | Things You'll Never Hear in a Puffy Song (presented by Sean Combs) |
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| 1st Guest | Julia Roberts |
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| Music | Travis |
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| Other | Is this anything? (bus pulling) |
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| Cuff your pants |
|
| New York | Mmm, particulate matter |
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| Dave | Guiness Book of Records' Crankiest Man in the World |
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| PostMonologue | Late Show Checklist |
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| 2nd Bit | Sexy Guys, Sexy City |
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| Top Ten | George W. Bush Observations about New York City |
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| 1st Guest | Edward Norton |
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| Music | Dido - Hunter |
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| Drive me home Helen |
|
| New York | Now with even newer york |
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| Dave | Former Gemini astronaut |
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| PostMonologue | Steve Martin Documentary rerun |
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| 1st Guest | Juliana Marguiles |
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| 2nd Guest | George Miller |
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| Other | Alan gets suckerpunched, George W. Bush live via satellite |
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| Close the damn door |
|
| New York | The fine line between mold and mildew |
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| Dave | A man looking for the warmth only a spotlight can provide |
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| PostMonologue | Summertime Leftovers |
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| 1st Slot | Piedmont Bird Callers |
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| 2nd Guest | Hank Azaria |
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| Music | Maria McKee |
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| Nice shoes big shot |
|
| New York | The mysterious triangle where hundreds of ships and planes have vanished |
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| Dave | The little robot who just wants to be loved |
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| PostMonologue | Pay Phone Trifecta |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Is this Anything? (poodles) |
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| 1st Guest | Kelly Ripa |
|---|
| 2nd Guest | Bob Sarlotte |
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| Other | Alan gets a pizza, Out-of-Focus Celebrity Walk-on |
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| Send potatos |
|
| PostMonologue | Dave's Mom's 80th Birthday |
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| 1st Guest | John McEnroe |
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| Music | Youssou N'Dour |
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| I like boating |
|
| New York | Mention this ad and get 10% off |
|---|
| Dave | Young New York socialite |
|---|
| PostMonologue | Rerun - fast food, LA, and Zsa Zsa (May 13, 1994) |
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| 2nd Bit | Hairpiece, Not a Hairpiece (video game) |
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| 1st Guest | Jon Favreau |
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| Music | The Holmes Brothers with Joan Osborne |
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| Hey Hey Helen |
|
| New York | The city that never sleeps well |
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| Dave | The park ranger who's been struck by lightning |
|---|
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (headache cure) |
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| Top Ten | Lifeguard Pet Peeves (presented by lifeguards) |
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| 1st Guest | Billy Crystal |
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| Standup | Al Lubel |
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| Kaboom |
|
| New York | An upscale gentleman's club |
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| Dave | Inventor of the talking refrigerator |
|---|
| PostMonologue | Calvert's 80th Birthday |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Jeff Meyer (Dave's tree) |
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| 2nd Guest | Christopher Walken |
|---|
| Music | Widespread Panic |
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| Stop calling |
|
| New York | I can't discuss the terms of the settlement |
|---|
| Dave | Ireland's best loved composer |
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| PostMonologue | Psychic Sandwich |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Stephanie's Weekend (buying clothes) |
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| 1st Guest | Tom Selleck |
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| 2nd Guest | David Rakoff |
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| Other | Is this anything? |
|---|
| Sitting In | Delbert McClinton |
|---|
| Kiss me |
|
| New York | Twice the fun of the original |
|---|
| Dave | Tatooed rocker |
|---|
| PostMonologue | Current Events Quiz |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Is this anything? |
|---|
| Top Ten | George W. Bush Observations about Europe |
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| 1st Guest | Mark Wahlberg |
|---|
| Cooking | Michael Lomonaco |
|---|
| Music | Tegan & Sara |
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| Try me Guido |
|
| New York | It would be a shame if something happened to your car |
|---|
| Dave | Just approved for a second term as US State Attorney General |
|---|
| PostMonologue | Rerun - Fun with Deliverymen (June 16, 1997) |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Greg Kinnear |
|---|
| Music | Afro Celt Sound System with Peter Gabriel |
|---|
| This ain't jello |
|
| New York | That's not a pony, that's a rat |
|---|
| Dave | America's sweetheart |
|---|
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (How Paul became bald) |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Is this Anything? |
|---|
| Top Ten | Things You Don't Want to Hear from Your Gas Station Attendant |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Marilu Henner |
|---|
| Standup | Hugh Fink |
|---|
| Other | Alan gets an award |
|---|
| Ahh, crab cakes |
|
| New York | Corporate accounts welcome |
|---|
| Dave | A man under a cloud of suspicion |
|---|
| PostMonologue | Mark Borschardt covers ComCon 2001 |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Stephanie's weekend - hot dogs |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Kristin Davis |
|---|
| Music | Nanci Griffith |
|---|
| Other | Lance Armstrong |
|---|
| Hey look, canaries |
|
| New York | ... inhibited world sexuality? |
|---|
| Dave | The Watergate conspirator who found religion in prison |
|---|
| PostMonologue | Beat the Clock |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Biff explains the Code Red virus |
|---|
| Top Ten | Signs You're in a Bad Boy Scout Troop |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Sean Combs |
|---|
| Bumped | Daljit Dahliwal |
|---|
| Other | Is this anything? |
|---|
| Too much bacon |
