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| New York | We've got the new-fangled gas lighting |
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| Dave | Earth's only natural satellite |
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| PostMonologue | Biff's Fun with a Bullhorn |
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| 2nd Bit | Clip from the Tony Awards |
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| 1st Guest | Helio Castroneves |
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| 2nd Guest | Tom Dreesen |
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| Music | Lucinda Williams |
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| Other | New floor |
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| I'm packed with gas |
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| New York | Sunk on its maiden voyage in 1912 |
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| Dave | A man with factory installed low rider hydraulics |
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| PostMonologue | Rupert visits the CBS Store |
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| Top Ten | Excuses of the Gun-Toting Yankees Fan |
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| 1st Guest | David Duchovny |
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| Music | Trisha Yearwood |
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| Flip the switch, froggy |
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| New York | Keep frozen until ready for use |
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| Dave | The mysterious face on the Martian surface |
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| PostMonologue | For the Kids |
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| 2nd Bit | Stephanie's grandmother |
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| 1st Guest | Jimmy Fallon |
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| Music | The Black Crowes |
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| I need a ride |
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| New York | Let's talk endlessly about the stock market |
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| Dave | Indecisive Danish prince |
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| PostMonologue | Rupert Bothers People rerun (December 22, 1994) |
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| 1st Guest | Dan Rather |
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| Music | Elvis Costello & Anne Sofie von Otter |
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| Give us a kiss, cowboy |
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| New York | Stripped bare by gypsy moth catepillars |
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| Dave | Uncanningly accurate piano tuner |
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| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (Paul's tips for stains) |
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| Top Ten | Things You Don't want to Hear from your Weather Forecaster (presented by affiliate weather forecasters) |
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| 1st Guest | Andy Dick |
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| Standup | Brian Regan |
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| Please touch me |
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| New YorK | We've got plenty of air-shipped mooring masts |
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| Dave | The nation's number two regional phone company |
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| PostMonologue | 2001 NBA Finals Quiz |
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| 2nd Bit | Red rubber ball |
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| Top Ten | Good Things about Being the Oldest Person in the World |
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| 1st Guest | Marv Albert |
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| Music | Sugar Ray |
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| Who ordered clams |
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| New York | Former emperor of the Byzantine empire |
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| Dave | Third jewel in the Triple Crown |
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| PostMonologue | Payphone Trifecta |
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| 2nd Bit | Stephanie's Weekend (blind date) |
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| Top Ten | Other TV Shows Produced by Saddam Hussein |
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| 1st Guest | Luke Perry |
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| Music | Jim White |
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| God, that's tasty |
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| New York | Eye of the hurricane |
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| Dave | A man who puts his matador pants on one leg at a time |
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| PostMonologue | Will this Wedding Last? |
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| 2nd Bit | Tony Treats a Tourist |
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| Top Ten | Signs it's Time for a Clown to Retire |
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| 1st Guest | Kim Cattrell |
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| Music | Mary Chapin Carpenter |
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| Other | IBM apology, Bozo retirement clip |
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| Is it gravy? |
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| New York | Jewel of the Danube |
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| Dave | Former MTV Europe hostess |
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| PostMonologue | Leonard Tepper Tribute (July 19, 1996 and August 12, 1996) |
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| Top Ten | Greeting Cards Received by the Guy Who Got His Toe Bit by a Komodo Dragon |
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| 1st Guest | Star Jones |
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| Music | blink-182 |
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| Take me home |
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| New York | Spokane East |
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| Dave | A man with a taste for owl |
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| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag |
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| 2nd Bit | Pat & Kenny Read Oprah Transcripts (Sarah Jessica Parker) |
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| Top Ten | Pieces of Fatherly Advice from George W. Bush |
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| 1st Guest | Jon Stewart |
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| Standup | David Brenner |
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| Beat it, Winky |
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| New York | Home of Burglar Tools Expo 2001 |
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| Dave | Apprentice rodeo clown |
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| PostMonologue | Summer in New York Dos and Donts |
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| 2nd Bit | Tomb Raider disclaimer |
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| 1st Guest | Dikenbe Mutombo |
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| Cooking | David Bowley (smoky) |
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| Music | Cesaria Evora |
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| Ha ha ha ha ha |
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| New York | .... Brazil, Austria, Italy and US |
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| Dave | A man who still loves the Macarena |
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| PostMonologue | Psychic Sandwich |
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| 2nd Bit | George W. Bush um/uh count |
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| Top Ten | Things ... in Central Park |
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| 1st Guest | Tom Arnold |
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| Sitting In | Kenny Brech |
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| Reading | David Sedaris |
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| Ah, cabbage |
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| New York | Swarming with ferrets |
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| Dave | A man who's levitated by magnets |
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| PostMonologue | Biff at the Detroit Grand Prix |
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| 2nd Bit | Hairpiece, not a hairpiece |
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| Top Ten | Signs Your Teacher is a Witch |
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| 1st Guest | Jimmy Kimmel |
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| Music | PJ Harvey |
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| Sylvia? |
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| New York | I think I've seen enough |
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| Dave | Former editor of American Locksmith |
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| PostMonologue | Prom Timeline |
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| Top Ten | Things New Yorkers Call Tourists |
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| 1st Guest | Ewan McGregor |
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| Music | Moby |
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| Hey look, fudge |
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| New York | Drawn by Korean animators |
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| Dave | The next Mr. Elizabeth Taylor |
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| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (Audience members who look like celebrities) |
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| 2nd Bit | Cal Ripken Campaign Commercial |
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| Top Ten | Dumb Guy Ways to Conserve Energy |
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| 1st Guest | Chris Elliot |
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| Standup | Harry Hill |
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| That's just fine |
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| New York | Now with side impact airbags |
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| Dave | The largest flying dinosaur discovered to date |
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| PostMonologue | For Foreign Viewers |
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| 2nd Bit | Is this Anything? |
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| Top Ten | Other Signs Castro is not Well |
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| 1st Guest | John McCain |
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| 2nd Guest | Shawn Wayans |
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| Other | George W. Bush Word of the Night - Portland 200 footage |
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| Please mow the lawn |
|
| New York | See how many bloopers you can spot |
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| Dave | World's oldest person, junior division |
|---|
| PostMonologue | Please Stop Calling Me Chief |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Stephanie's aborted trip to Florida |
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| 1st Guest | Catherine Zeta-Jones |
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| Music | Depeche Mode - Dream On |
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| Other | Politicians who can't wait to get out of here - Is this Anything? |
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| I just don't care |
|
| New York | Home of the worst case scenario |
|---|
| Dave | Disgraced faith healer |
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| PostMonologue | Small Town News |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Turning over a car |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Marlon Wayans |
|---|
| 2nd Guest | Alan Webb (broke high school mile record) |
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| Music | Coldplay |
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| Call your sister |
|
| New York | This water tastes funny |
|---|
| Dave | Founding member of the Cirque de Soleil |
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| PostMonologue | Rupert Bothers People rerun (December 15, 1995) |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Sean Hayes |
|---|
| Music | Brian Wilson with Darrius Rucker and Matthew Sweet |
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| Other | Incredible Dog Challenge |
|---|
| Hit me again |
|
| New York | Home of the 1986 champion New York Mets |
|---|
| Dave | The simulated owl that keeps animals out of your garden |
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| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (read by James Earl Jones) |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Hairpiece, not a hairpiece |
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| 1st Guest | Tony Danza |
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| Standup | Nick DiPaolo |
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| Other | Wimbledon live |
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| Stop it |
