| New York | We've got the new-fangled gas lighting |
| Dave | Earth's only natural satellite |
| PostMonologue | Biff's Fun with a Bullhorn |
| 2nd Bit | Clip from the Tony Awards |
| 1st Guest | Helio Castroneves |
| 2nd Guest | Tom Dreesen |
| Music | Lucinda Williams |
| Other | New floor |
| I'm packed with gas |
| New York | Sunk on its maiden voyage in 1912 |
| Dave | A man with factory installed low rider hydraulics |
| PostMonologue | Rupert visits the CBS Store |
| Top Ten | Excuses of the Gun-Toting Yankees Fan |
| 1st Guest | David Duchovny |
| Music | Trisha Yearwood |
| Flip the switch, froggy |
| New York | Keep frozen until ready for use |
| Dave | The mysterious face on the Martian surface |
| PostMonologue | For the Kids |
| 2nd Bit | Stephanie's grandmother |
| 1st Guest | Jimmy Fallon |
| Music | The Black Crowes |
| I need a ride |
| New York | Let's talk endlessly about the stock market |
| Dave | Indecisive Danish prince |
| PostMonologue | Rupert Bothers People rerun (December 22, 1994) |
| 1st Guest | Dan Rather |
| Music | Elvis Costello & Anne Sofie von Otter |
| Give us a kiss, cowboy |
| New York | Stripped bare by gypsy moth catepillars |
| Dave | Uncanningly accurate piano tuner |
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (Paul's tips for stains) |
| Top Ten | Things You Don't want to Hear from your Weather Forecaster (presented by affiliate weather forecasters) |
| 1st Guest | Andy Dick |
| Standup | Brian Regan |
| Please touch me |
| New YorK | We've got plenty of air-shipped mooring masts |
| Dave | The nation's number two regional phone company |
| PostMonologue | 2001 NBA Finals Quiz |
| 2nd Bit | Red rubber ball |
| Top Ten | Good Things about Being the Oldest Person in the World |
| 1st Guest | Marv Albert |
| Music | Sugar Ray |
| Who ordered clams |
| New York | Former emperor of the Byzantine empire |
| Dave | Third jewel in the Triple Crown |
| PostMonologue | Payphone Trifecta |
| 2nd Bit | Stephanie's Weekend (blind date) |
| Top Ten | Other TV Shows Produced by Saddam Hussein |
| 1st Guest | Luke Perry |
| Music | Jim White |
| God, that's tasty |
| New York | Eye of the hurricane |
| Dave | A man who puts his matador pants on one leg at a time |
| PostMonologue | Will this Wedding Last? |
| 2nd Bit | Tony Treats a Tourist |
| Top Ten | Signs it's Time for a Clown to Retire |
| 1st Guest | Kim Cattrell |
| Music | Mary Chapin Carpenter |
| Other | IBM apology, Bozo retirement clip |
| Is it gravy? |
| New York | Jewel of the Danube |
| Dave | Former MTV Europe hostess |
| PostMonologue | Leonard Tepper Tribute (July 19, 1996 and August 12, 1996) |
| Top Ten | Greeting Cards Received by the Guy Who Got His Toe Bit by a Komodo Dragon |
| 1st Guest | Star Jones |
| Music | blink-182 |
| Take me home |
| New York | Spokane East |
| Dave | A man with a taste for owl |
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag |
| 2nd Bit | Pat & Kenny Read Oprah Transcripts (Sarah Jessica Parker) |
| Top Ten | Pieces of Fatherly Advice from George W. Bush |
| 1st Guest | Jon Stewart |
| Standup | David Brenner |
| Beat it, Winky |
| New York | Home of Burglar Tools Expo 2001 |
| Dave | Apprentice rodeo clown |
| PostMonologue | Summer in New York Dos and Donts |
| 2nd Bit | Tomb Raider disclaimer |
| 1st Guest | Dikenbe Mutombo |
| Cooking | David Bowley (smoky) |
| Music | Cesaria Evora |
| Ha ha ha ha ha |
| New York | .... Brazil, Austria, Italy and US |
| Dave | A man who still loves the Macarena |
| PostMonologue | Psychic Sandwich |
| 2nd Bit | George W. Bush um/uh count |
| Top Ten | Things ... in Central Park |
| 1st Guest | Tom Arnold |
| Sitting In | Kenny Brech |
| Reading | David Sedaris |
| Ah, cabbage |
| New York | Swarming with ferrets |
| Dave | A man who's levitated by magnets |
| PostMonologue | Biff at the Detroit Grand Prix |
| 2nd Bit | Hairpiece, not a hairpiece |
| Top Ten | Signs Your Teacher is a Witch |
| 1st Guest | Jimmy Kimmel |
| Music | PJ Harvey |
| Sylvia? |
| New York | I think I've seen enough |
| Dave | Former editor of American Locksmith |
| PostMonologue | Prom Timeline |
| Top Ten | Things New Yorkers Call Tourists |
| 1st Guest | Ewan McGregor |
| Music | Moby |
| Hey look, fudge |
| New York | Drawn by Korean animators |
| Dave | The next Mr. Elizabeth Taylor |
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (Audience members who look like celebrities) |
| 2nd Bit | Cal Ripken Campaign Commercial |
| Top Ten | Dumb Guy Ways to Conserve Energy |
| 1st Guest | Chris Elliot |
| Standup | Harry Hill |
| That's just fine |
| New York | Now with side impact airbags |
| Dave | The largest flying dinosaur discovered to date |
| PostMonologue | For Foreign Viewers |
| 2nd Bit | Is this Anything? |
| Top Ten | Other Signs Castro is not Well |
| 1st Guest | John McCain |
| 2nd Guest | Shawn Wayans |
| Other | George W. Bush Word of the Night - Portland 200 footage |
| Please mow the lawn |
| New York | See how many bloopers you can spot |
| Dave | World's oldest person, junior division |
| PostMonologue | Please Stop Calling Me Chief |
| 2nd Bit | Stephanie's aborted trip to Florida |
| 1st Guest | Catherine Zeta-Jones |
| Music | Depeche Mode - Dream On |
| Other | Politicians who can't wait to get out of here - Is this Anything? |
| I just don't care |
| New York | Home of the worst case scenario |
| Dave | Disgraced faith healer |
| PostMonologue | Small Town News |
| 2nd Bit | Turning over a car |
| 1st Guest | Marlon Wayans |
| 2nd Guest | Alan Webb (broke high school mile record) |
| Music | Coldplay |
| Call your sister |
| New York | This water tastes funny |
| Dave | Founding member of the Cirque de Soleil |
| PostMonologue | Rupert Bothers People rerun (December 15, 1995) |
| 1st Guest | Sean Hayes |
| Music | Brian Wilson with Darrius Rucker and Matthew Sweet |
| Other | Incredible Dog Challenge |
| Hit me again |
| New York | Home of the 1986 champion New York Mets |
| Dave | The simulated owl that keeps animals out of your garden |
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (read by James Earl Jones) |
| 2nd Bit | Hairpiece, not a hairpiece |
| 1st Guest | Tony Danza |
| Standup | Nick DiPaolo |
| Other | Wimbledon live |
| Stop it |