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| New York | Home of 9 of the world's deadliest snakes |
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| Dave | Former strong arm president of Paraguay |
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| PostMonologue | Deli Survivor |
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| 2nd Bit | Weakest Link clip |
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| 1st Guest | Matthew Broderick |
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| 2nd Guest | Brandi Chastain |
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| Dear sweet pants |
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| New York | Home of the world's deepest open pit copper mine |
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| Dave | Just back from the post-apocalyptic wastelands |
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| PostMonologue | The First 100 Days: Bush vs. Clinton |
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| 2nd Bit | Stephanie's weekend |
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| 1st Guest | Regis Philbin |
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| Music | David Gray |
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| Do you know where your pants are? |
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| New York | Not tested on animals |
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| Dave | Winner of the people's choice award nobel prize |
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| PostMonologue | Final Night of Survivor Quiz |
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| 2nd Bit | clip from Celebrity Weakest Link |
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| Top Ten | Survivor Pickup Lines (presented by Survivor contestants) |
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| 1st Guest | Bill Murray (Latin sensation) |
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| Music | Stevie Nicks |
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| ---- |
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| New York | A fun, results-oriented camp for overweight youngsters |
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| Dave | Why is it always my turn to dredge the harbor? |
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| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (Tony Mendez: Man on the Street) |
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| Top Ten | Signs a Miss Universe Contestant is a Man |
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| 1st Guest | Joan Cusack |
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| Standup | Andy Kindler |
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| Sitting In | Shuggy Otis |
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| You can't beat pants |
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| New York | As seen in the breathtaking paintings of Vermeer |
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| Dave | A man whose retro design reflects the original VW Beetle |
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| PostMonologue | What Stuff Costs |
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| Campaign 2000 | Tina Wesson (Survivor 2 winner) |
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| 1st Guest | Kate Hudson |
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| Music | The Blind Boys of Alabama |
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| Other | Dave Johnson re-announcing the Kentucky Derby |
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| Bite me |
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| New York | Now serving breakfast |
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| Dave | 3M Corporation's Chief of Adhesives Research |
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| PostMonologue | Pat's induction into the Basketball Hall of Fame |
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| 2nd Bit | Stephanie's weekend |
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| 1st Guest | Uma Thurman |
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| Music | Blues Traveler (much lighter) |
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| Other | The Mummy |
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| ---- |
|
| New York | Where Satan has a summer house |
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| Dave | Your online source for snake and lizard supplies |
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| PostMonologue | An intuitive guesses celebrity phone numbers |
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| Top Ten | Things Never Before Said by a US Senator (presented by US senators) |
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| 1st Slot | Kid Scientists (egg walking) |
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| 2nd Guest | Juliette Lewis |
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| Ah, fresh pants |
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| New York | Enjoy our free coffee and pastries |
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| Dave | Real-life Crocodile Dundee |
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| PostMonologue | Mother's Day Cards |
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| 2nd Bit | Comment on US productivity statistics |
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| Top Ten | Signs You Have the Least Successful Show on Broadway |
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| 1st Guest | Jenna Elfman |
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| Music | Destiny's Child |
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| Other | State of country music |
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| Pants from space |
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| New York | Waterproofed for all-weather use |
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| Dave | The original space tourist |
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| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (Kenny reviews Crocodile Dundee, ping pong balls) |
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| 2nd Bit | Dave Mom for Mothers' Day |
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| Other | Continuing Survivor promos |
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| 1st Guest | Heath Ledger |
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| Standup | Lewis Black |
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| Pants, doctor? |
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| New York | With express service to Atlantic City fun |
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| Dave | Father of our modern technological age |
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| PostMonologue | Biff Henderson's America: Whiting, Maine |
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| 2nd Bit | Traffic tips |
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| Top Ten | Little Known Facts about Jeb Bush |
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| 1st Guest | Charlie Sheen |
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| Music | Missy Elliot |
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| Other | Apology to Columbians everywhere, Softball with Tv's "Ed" |
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| Ahhh... |
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| New York | With never before seen underwater footage |
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| Dave | Former US Naval Observatory Astronomer |
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| PostMonologue | George or Jeb? |
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| 2nd Bit | Pat & Kenny read Oprah Transcripts (Gwyneth Paltrow) |
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| Top Ten | Signs You're a Bad Talk Show Host |
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| 1st Guest | John Travolta |
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| Music | R.E.M. - Imitation of Life |
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| Other | CNN season finale |
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| Nice pants, Kenny |
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| New York | Now with 300 free airtime minutes |
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| Dave | The weakest link |
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| PostMonologue | Who Asked for It? (Evanston, IL) |
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| 2nd Bit | CBS's Ellen promo |
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| Top Ten | Reasons I Love Spring in New York (presented by Rudolph Giuliani) |
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| 1st Guest | Mike Myers |
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| 2nd Guest | David Byrne |
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| [kissing] |
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| New York | No experience required |
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| Dave | White House spokesman |
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| PostMonologue | Know Your Current Events |
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| 1st Guest | Andrea Noceti (Miss Columbia) |
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| 2nd Guest | Jack Hannah |
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| Music | Ricky Martin |
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| I'm so fat |
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| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag |
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| 2nd Bit | Out-of-Focus Celebrity Walk-on |
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| Top Ten | Lessons I Learned in College (presented by Ball State seniors) |
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| 1st Guest | Kelsey Grammar |
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| Standup | The Smothers Brothers |
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| Other | Gloria the harpist |
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| Stop calling me |
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| New York | Based on the 1960's Hanna-Barbera cartoon |
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| Dave | Part-time school bus driver |
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| PostMonologue | Stephanie's weekend |
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| 2nd Bit | Alan's message for the 5 wives of Tom Green |
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| 1st Guest | Ray Romano |
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| 2nd Guest | Dennis Tito |
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| Sitting In | Buddy Guy |
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| Other | CBS special report, Regis |
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| Hey, hey Brenda |
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| New York | Filmed on location in Toronto |
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| Dave | Half of the mother and son grifter team |
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| PostMonologue | Psychic Sandwich |
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| Top Ten | Pieces of Advice Bush Gave to Graduates |
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| 1st Slot | Stupid Human Tricks (grill balancing, cheese face) |
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| 2nd Guest | Ellen DeGeneres |
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| Brenda, where's Kenny? |
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| New York | You heard me |
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| Dave | Obsessive-compulsive chess genius |
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| PostMonologue | Warning Labels |
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| 2nd Bit | College Grad tips |
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| Top Ten | Signs Your Neighbor is the Monkey Man |
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| 1st Guest | Alec Baldwin |
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| 2nd Guest | Yogi Berra |
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| Sitting In | Ray Benson |
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| Come on punk, try me |
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| New York | Delicious cold, straight from the can |
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| Dave | Turncoat Republican senator |
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| PostMonologue | How They're Conserving Energy |
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| 2nd Bit | Tony Orlando's tribute to Memorial Day |
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| Top Ten | Signs Your Senator Has Lost It |
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| 1st Guest | Tom Brokaw |
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| Music | Badly Drawn Boy |
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| Give us a kiss, Kenny |
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| New York | Nominated for six Tony awards |
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| Dave | A man who speaks slowly and loudly to foreigners |
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| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (ketchup stains, Monkey Man) |
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| 2nd Bit | Currency contamination |
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| 1st Guest | Danny DeVito |
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| Standup | Larry Miller |
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| Other | Sailors |
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| Daddy wants a kiss |
