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| New York | The Greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | A man whose allergy medication is FDA approved for cat dander |
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| PostMonologue | Stephanie's Weekend (Indianapolis 500) |
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| 2nd Bit | Biff's What's on the BBQ? |
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| Top Ten | Signs Queen Elizabeth is Getting Tired of Being Queen |
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| 1st Guest | Adrien Brody |
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| 2nd Guest | Gil de Ferran |
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| Music | John Mellencamp |
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| Other | Ending of Finding Nemo, George W. Bush Joke That's Not Really a Joke, New Osama tape |
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| Mmm, broccoli |
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|
| New York | The Greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | Tony-nominated star of Hairspray |
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| PostMonologue | Stop the Slicer |
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| 2nd Bit | Alan Kalter's Congratulations to New Jersey Sports |
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| Top Ten | Things Agreed Upon at the G8 Summit |
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| 1st Guest | Alec Baldwin |
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| 2nd Guest | Tom Dreesen |
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| Sitting In | Tiszji Munoz |
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| Ha ha ha |
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|
| New York | The Greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | A man who still hasn't seen Titanic |
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| PostMonologue | Can a Guy in a Horse Suit Get Into a Strip Club? |
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| 2nd Bit | Miss Universe Bad Research Moment of the Night, What's the Deal with Donald Trump's Hair?, George W. Bush Joke That's Not Really a Joke |
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| Top Ten | Sammy Sosa Excuses |
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| 1st Guest | Seth Green |
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| 2nd Guest | Amy Sedaris |
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| Music | Lucinda Williams |
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| Mmm, fudge |
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|
| New York | The Greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | Feather-clad, bullet-dodging superhero |
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| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (Alan's fitness program) |
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| 2nd Bit | Will it Float? (clay) |
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| Top Ten | Surprises in the Barbara Walter's Hilary Clinton Interview |
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| 1st Guest | Barbara Walters |
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| 2nd Guest | Tanya Streeter (free diver) |
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| Other | CNN Simultaneous response of the night, George W. Bush Joke That's Not Really a Joke |
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| Audience Shot | The Cape (Grinder girl and Hula Hoop girl) |
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| Mmm, tasty |
|
|
| New York | The Greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | Tom Arnold |
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| 1st Guest | Darrell Hammond |
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| 2nd Guest | Karolina Kurkova |
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| Standup | Eddie Brill |
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| Music | Train |
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| Worldwide Pants |
|
|
| New York | The Greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | Disgraced New York Times Reporter |
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| PostMonologue | Dave gets stitches |
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| 2nd Bit | Alan's Tribute to the Tony's |
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| Top Ten | Things I'd Like to Say Now That I'm Miss Universe (presented by Miss Universe) |
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| 1st Guest | Juliette Binoche |
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| 2nd Guest | Joe Queenan |
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| Music | Blur - Out of Time |
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| Other | Clip from Barbara Walter's Hilary Clinton Interview |
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| Audience Shot | Late Show Complaints |
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| Kiss me |
|
|
| New York | The Greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | A man just fast and just furious enough |
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| PostMonologue | Barbara Gaines birthday, George W. Bush Joke That's Not Really a Joke, NHL Hockey Fever ad |
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| 2nd Bit | Millionaire or Kenny? |
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| Top Ten | Cool Things About Having Monkeypox |
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| 1st Guest | Bruce Willis (chia head, Red White & Bruce) |
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| 2nd Guest | Chris Moneymaker (poker championship winner) |
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| Audience Shot | Celebrity Age Scramble |
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| Mmm, pancakes |
|
|
| New York | The Greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | The next best thing to real entertainment |
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| PostMonologue | NBA Finals quiz |
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| 2nd Bit | Is This Anything? |
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| Top Ten | Things Heard In Line to Buy Hilary Clinton's Book |
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| 1st Guest | Lauren Graham |
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| 2nd Guest | Marv Albert |
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| Music | Bright Eyes |
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| Other | Stanley Cup, George W. Bush Joke That's Not Really a Joke, Global Monkey Council Ad |
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| Mommy |
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|
| New York | The Greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | Savior of the American antelope |
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| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag |
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| 2nd Bit | Pat Farmer's Gaffe Alert |
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| Top Ten | Things You Don't Want to Hear From Your Kid on Father's Day |
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| 1st Guest | Harrison Ford |
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| Music | Annie Lennox |
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| Other | Nyquil ad, Iraqi Father's Day special |
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| Audience Shot | The Cape (Whoopi Goldberg) |
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| Mmm, spareribs |
|
|
| New York | The Greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | Tom Green |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Jolene Blalock |
|---|
| 2nd Guest | Scott Stevens |
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| 3rd Guest | Isaac Britty |
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| Music | Damien Rice |
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| Worldwide Pants |
|
|
| New York | The Greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | Shiftless Ne'er-do-well |
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| PostMonologue | Biff at the Prom |
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| 2nd Bit | Osama congratulations the 2000th show |
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| Top Ten | Things Baseball Has Taught Me (presented by Roger Clemens) |
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| 1st Guest | Hilary Clinton |
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| Music | Emmylou Harris |
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| Audience Shot | Dwight The Troubled Teen |
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| Give Daddy a Kiss |
|
|
| New York | The Greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | Barnstorming parachutist |
|---|
| PostMonologue | Name that Baldwin |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | FBI crime announcement, George W. Bush Joke That's Not Really a Joke |
|---|
| Top Ten | Things Going Through Bush's Mind at This Moment (seqway) |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Rob Reiner |
|---|
| 2nd Guest | Paul Teutul Sr. & Paul Teutul Jr. |
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| Music | The New Pornographers |
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| Audience Shot | Motorcycles |
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| Mmm, cheese |
|
|
| New York | The Greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | A man whose approval rating just hit an all-time low |
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| PostMonologue | Biff on a Seqway, New Saddam Hussein ad, Simon & Garfunkel Reunion Tour, Monkeypox Advice |
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| Top Ten | Worst Summer Jobs |
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| 1st Guest | Johnny Depp |
|---|
| 2nd Guest | Christine Todd Whitman |
|---|
| Sitting In | B.B. King |
|---|
| Check please |
|
|
| New York | The Greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | Space-age gizmo |
|---|
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (assisted by Dr. Stephanie) |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Will It Float? (Weed killer) |
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| Top Ten | Perks of Being a Member of the Blue Angels (presented by members of the Blue Angels) |
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| 1st Guest | Sarah Jessica Parker |
|---|
| Music | The Dead |
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| Other | Sneak Peeks (Sex In the City, Harry Potter) |
|---|
| Mmm, waffles |
|
|
| New York | The Greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | Kelsey Grammer |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Treat Williams |
|---|
| 2nd Guest | James Earl Jones |
|---|
| 3rd Guest | Jamie Lynn-Sigler |
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| Standup | Kathleen Madigan |
|---|
| Music | Jesse Malin |
|---|
| Worldwide pants |
|
|
| New York | The Greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | The reason some of you aren't here tonight |
|---|
| PostMonologue | A Day in the Life of Saddam Hussein |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Howard Dean campaign clip, George W. Bush Joke That's Not Really a Joke |
|---|
| Top Ten | Things You Don't Want to Hear From a Guy Dressed up as The Hulk (with video) |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Demi Moore |
|---|
| Music | Verbana |
|---|
| Audience Shot | Alan Kalter's That's Annoying |
|---|
| Rhonda? |
|
|
| New York | The Greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | The foremost name in plastic injection molding |
|---|
| PostMonologue | Psychic Sandwich: Full Throttle |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Charlie's Angels disclaimer |
|---|
| Top Ten | Signs You're in Love with Democratic Presidential Candidate Howard Dean |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Drew Barrymore |
|---|
| 2nd Guest | Simon Cowell |
|---|
| Sitting In | Ray Benson |
|---|
| Audience Shot | Late Show Lucky Number |
|---|
| Mmm, monkeys |
|
|
| New York | The Greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | The poor man's Pat Sajak |
|---|
| PostMonologue | Who Asked For It? |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Will It Float? (sherbert) |
|---|
| Top Ten | Things the Iraqi Information Minister has Admitted Since Being Captured |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Lucy Liu |
|---|
| 2nd Guest | Avigayil Wardein |
|---|
| Music | Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds - Bring It On |
|---|
| Other | Water cannon, Circuit City ad, George W. Bush Joke That's Not Really a Joke |
|---|
| Audience Shot | Alan Kalter's That's Annoying |
|---|
| Later dude |
|
|
| New York | The Greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | A man who says if it ain't broke, break it |
|---|
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (assisted by princess Stephanie) |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | James Earl Jones describes fireworks, George W. Bush Joke That's Not Really a Joke |
|---|
| 1st Slot | Piedmont Bird Callers |
|---|
| 2nd Guest | Luke Wilson |
|---|
| Music | The Yeah Yeah Yeahs |
|---|
| Audience Shot | The Cape (with Heidi Klum) |
|---|
| Mmm, soup |
|
|
| New York | The Greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | Jimmy Fallon |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Kristanna Loken |
|---|
| 2nd Guest | Dax |
|---|
| 3rd Guest | Chloe Sevigny |
|---|
| 4th Guest | Bill Scheft |
|---|
| Music | Rufus Wainwright |
|---|
| Worldwide Pants |
