May 2003
|
|
| New York | The Greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | A man who still hasn't quit his day job |
|---|
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (Where Are They Now?: Guy in a Bear Suit) |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Referee or Footlocker Employee?, Presidential Moment of the Night |
|---|
| Top Ten | Things Never Before Said by a Pulitzer Prize Winner (presented by Robert A. Caro) |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Bernie Mac |
|---|
| 2nd Guest | Amanda Peet |
|---|
| ---- |
|
|
| New York | The Greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | A man who's ghost writing his autobiography |
|---|
| PostMonologue | Rejected FDA Items |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Will It Float? (fertilizer) |
|---|
| Top Ten | Things You Don't Want to Hear in a Fast Food Restaurant (with video) |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Halle Berry |
|---|
| 2nd Guest | Don Rickles |
|---|
| Other | Kentucky Derby announcer, Cheney's air landing |
|---|
| Audience Shot | The Cape (Don Rickles) |
|---|
| Oh boy, pants |
|
|
| New York | The Greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | A man born on the bayou |
|---|
| PostMonologue | Throwing Things Off the Roof (hosted by Stephanie) |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Don Rickles' Joke that Makes No Sense of the Night, Meet the Press Technical Mishap of the Night, X2 clip |
|---|
| Survivor Loser | Christy Smith |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Kelly Rippa |
|---|
| Music | Good Charlotte |
|---|
| Mmm, bacon |
|
|
| New York | The Greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | Controversial rap superstar |
|---|
| PostMonologue | What's Your Problem? |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | X2 disclaimer, Bush Word of the Night, Fox News Mix-up, Larry King season cliffhanger |
|---|
| Top Ten | Bush Excuses for Not Finding Weapons of Mass Destruction |
|---|
| 1st Slot | Stupid Human Tricks (spit dance) |
|---|
| 2nd Guest | Hugh Jackson |
|---|
| Music | Kelly Clarkson |
|---|
| Audience Shot | Name that Mustache |
|---|
| ---- |
|
|
| New York | The Greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | Threatened Iraqi scientist |
|---|
| PostMonologue | Can a Guy in a Mutant Suit Hail a Cab? |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Bush Joke That's Not Really a Joke of the Night, Is This Anything?, Clip from new Saddam audio tape |
|---|
| Top Ten | Reasons I, Joe Lieberman, Would Make a Good President (presented by Joe Lieberman) |
|---|
| 1st Guest | David Hyde Pierce |
|---|
| 2nd Slot | Rube Goldberg Contest Winners |
|---|
| Music | Ziggy Marley |
|---|
| Audience Shot | Democratic Candidate Name Scramble |
|---|
| Mmm, pot roast |
|
|
| New York | The Greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | Alabaster-skinned Russian beauty |
|---|
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (Does Biff Take Off his Headset?) |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Hitler special |
|---|
| Top Ten | Things You Didn't Know About My Child (presented by celebrity mothers) |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Megan Mullally |
|---|
| 2nd Guest | Marilyn Manson |
|---|
| Audience Shot | Alan's Mother's Day Message |
|---|
| ---- |
|
|
| New York | The Greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | Our fearless captain of this rudderless ship we call television |
|---|
| PostMonologue | Mother's Day Cards |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Will it Float? (fish sticks, perfume) |
|---|
| Top Ten | Most Common Questions Asked of the White House Operator |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Albert Brooks |
|---|
| Standup | Jeffery Ross |
|---|
| Music | The Libertines |
|---|
| Other | Saddam Week, CNN cough of the night |
|---|
| Mmm, ham |
|
|
| New York | The Greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | Inventor of the Reuben sandwich |
|---|
| PostMonologue | Helping Pick out a Prom Tuxedo |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | CNN Mixup of the Night, Capturing one of Iraqi's Most Wanted, Kentucky Derby clip |
|---|
| Top Ten | Signs Something is Wrong at the New York Times |
|---|
| 1st Slot | Stupid Pet Tricks |
|---|
| 2nd Guest | Kevin James |
|---|
| 3rd Guest | Jenna Morasca |
|---|
| Audience Shot | Intern of the week |
|---|
| I feel bloated |
|
|
| New York | The Greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | American rodeo cowboy of the year |
|---|
| PostMonologue | Late Show Iraqi Manhunt |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | A guy pretending to be Don Knotts in the Three's Company movie |
|---|
| 1st Guests | David Williams & Ronald Young (POWs) |
|---|
| 2nd Guest | Jada Pinkett Smith |
|---|
| Music | The Jayhawks |
|---|
| Audience Shot | Tony Mendez Gives Away Endings to Summer Blockbusters in Spanish |
|---|
| Worldwide pants |
|
|
| New York | The Greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | The features you want at a price you can afford |
|---|
| PostMonologue | Biff Looks for Celebrity Look Alikes |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Will It Float? (Gainers Fuel 2500, Walnuts) |
|---|
| Top Ten | Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Department Store (with video) |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Sean Hayes |
|---|
| Cooking | Eric Ripert |
|---|
| Music | Avril Lavigne |
|---|
| Other | Features of the new $20 bill, New York Times Matrix Ad, CNN Confusing Fish Report of the Night |
|---|
| Audience Shot | Guess the Late Show Staffer |
|---|
| Mmm, catfish |
|
|
| New York | The Greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | Trail-blazing female golfer |
|---|
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (Rupert's Anger Management) |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Is This Anything?, Larry King Sweeps Stunt |
|---|
| Top Ten | Calls Received at the Oreo Hotline |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Rene Zellweger |
|---|
| Music | Jack Johnson |
|---|
| Audience Shot | Alan's message to his upstairs neighbor |
|---|
| I'm disoriented |
|
|
| New York | The Greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | Distinguished professor of orinthology |
|---|
| PostMonologue | Know Your Current Events |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Harold Larkin's Restaurant Reviews |
|---|
| Top Ten | Surprises in the New Hitler Movie |
|---|
| 1st Guest | John Goodman |
|---|
| 2nd Guest | D.H. Hughley |
|---|
| Music | NAS with Alicia Keys |
|---|
| Audience Shot | The Cape (with Johnny Knoxville) |
|---|
| ---- |
|
|
| New York | The Greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | Mineral rights activist |
|---|
| PostMonologue | Charts & Graphs |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | CNN on capture of the Jack of Hearts, Martha Inc. disclaimer, Hitler tv movie clip |
|---|
| Top Ten | Good Things About Having the Same Name as a Celebrity (presented by people with the same names as celebrities) |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Mark Wahlberg |
|---|
| 2nd Guest | Jesse James (souped up hot dog cart) |
|---|
| Music | the Sounds |
|---|
| Other | Pat Farmer's Gaffe Alert |
|---|
| ---- |
|
|
| New York | The Greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | A man who claims to have invented the bumper sticker |
|---|
| PostMonologue | Would You Like to Hang up on Regis? |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Clip from Martha Stewart TV movie, Alan's words on American Idol |
|---|
| Top Ten | Signs Ari Fleischer Just Doesn't Care Anymore |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Jim Carrey (Inside & Out) |
|---|
| Music | Chevelle |
|---|
| Audience Shot | Jim Carrey getting down |
|---|
| Mmm, lasagne |
|
|
| New York | The Greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | An oasis of madness in the desert of tranquility |
|---|
| PostMonologue | Stump the Band |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Taco Bell Michael Jackson commercial, clip from the Hitler finale |
|---|
| Top Ten | Chapter Titles in Jayson Blair's Autobiography |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Regis Philbin |
|---|
| Music | 3 Doors Down |
|---|
| Other | Is This Anything? |
|---|
| Audience Shot | Welcome to new audio technician |
|---|
| Gin, granny? |
|
|
| New York | The Greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | A man who just may be the one |
|---|
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (Paul's tribute to American Idol) |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Will It Float? (NY Times) |
|---|
| Top Ten | Things People Yelled at the TV During the American Idol Finale |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Antonio Banderas |
|---|
| 2nd Guest | Heidi Klum |
|---|
| Music | Liam Lynch |
|---|
| Other | Tom Ridge announcement |
|---|
| Audience Shot | Dwight, The Troubled Teen |
|---|
| Mmm, sardines |
|
|
| New York | The Greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | Lifelong booster of the armadillo |
|---|
| PostMonologue | Know Your Current Events (assisted by sailor Stephanie) |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Biff assembles a Weber Grill |
|---|
| Top Ten | Things Overheard at the Letterman Family BBQ |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Peter Krause |
|---|
| Standup | Jim Gaffigan |
|---|
| Music | Widespread Panic |
|---|
| Other | Sailors |
|---|
| Audience Shot | The Cape (Kareem Abdul Jabar) |
|---|
| Good night girls |
|
|
