October 2003
|
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | Exiled Russian media barron |
|---|
| PostMonologue | Roll Call |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | What Was It? |
|---|
| Top Ten | Questions Received by the Schwarzenegger Campaign Hotline |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Tim Robbins |
|---|
| Music | Sting |
|---|
| Other | Telemarketers Association ad, George W. Bush Joke That's Not Really a Joke |
|---|
| Audience Shot | Match the Celebrity with His Email Address! |
|---|
| I'm packed with gas |
|
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | Television's Whoopi |
|---|
| PostMonologue | Know Your Current Events |
|---|
| 1st Slot | Stupid Human Tricks - can chewer |
|---|
| 2nd Guest | Lisa Kudrow |
|---|
| Music | R.E.M. - Bad Day |
|---|
| I need a ride |
|
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | A burst of television of sunshine |
|---|
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (presented by postal Stephanie) |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Will It Float? (flour) |
|---|
| Top Ten | Items on Rush Limbaugh's To Do List |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Robin Williams |
|---|
| Performance | Summerwind Skippers |
|---|
| Other | Spanish Soap Opera Dramatic Moment of the Night, George W. Bush Presidential Eyebrow Twitch |
|---|
| Audience Shot | The Cape (Rob Lowe) |
|---|
| Give us a kiss, cowboy |
|
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | A man on the verge of being recalled |
|---|
| PostMonologue | George W. Bush Joke That's Not Really a Joke, George W. Bush Moment of Confusion, Bill O'Reilly Sound Bite |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Dropping ping pong balls off the roof |
|---|
| Surivor Loser | Lillian Morris |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Jessica Simpson |
|---|
| Music | Rufus Wainwright |
|---|
| Sitting In | Todd Rundgren |
|---|
| Boy, I'm hungry |
|
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | CBS employee of the month |
|---|
| PostMonologue | Yankee Playoff Quiz |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | George W. Bush Spanish Joke That's Not Really a Joke, Gray Davis ad, Alan's reaction to Schwarzenegger winning |
|---|
| Top Ten | Possible California Newspaper Headlines for Tomorrow |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Uma Thurman |
|---|
| 2nd Guest | Ricky Gervais |
|---|
| Music | Renee Fleming |
|---|
| Audience Shot | Empty audience |
|---|
| Please, touch me |
|
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | Disgraced right-wing radio personality |
|---|
| PostMonologue | Day in the Life of Arnold Schwarzenegger |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Is This Anything?, Bored Schwarzenegger Supporter of the Night |
|---|
| Top Ten | Ways California Would Be Different if I, Gary Coleman, Were Governor |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Amy Sedaris |
|---|
| 2nd Guest | Tom Dreesen |
|---|
| Music | Anthony Hamilton |
|---|
| Who ordered clams? |
|
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | The reason television should institute term limits |
|---|
| PostMonologue | Know Your Current Events |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Alan Kalter's At a Theater Near You |
|---|
| Top Ten | Things Never Before Said by a Hooters Girl (presented by Hooters girls) |
|---|
| 1st Guest | George Clooney |
|---|
| Music | Merle Haggard |
|---|
| Other | The Arnold Schwarzenegger Story promo, Eagle/Baseball clip |
|---|
| God, that's tasty |
|
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | Dimpled, apple-cheeked youth |
|---|
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (assisted by Alpine Stephanie) |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Will It Float? (honey, cottage cheese) |
|---|
| Top Ten | Pieces of Advice Gray Davis has for Arnold Schwarzenegger |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Charlie Sheen |
|---|
| Music | John Mayer |
|---|
| Other | Schwarzenegger clip, George W. Bush crazy blink |
|---|
| Is it gravy? |
|
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | Legendary Hawaiian chieftain |
|---|
| PostMonologue | Meet the Governor, Dropping flutterfetti off the roof |
|---|
| Survivor Loser | Burton Roberts |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Halle Berry |
|---|
| 2nd Guest | Lance Armstrong |
|---|
| Go call the cops |
|
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | Pill popping conservative talk show host |
|---|
| PostMonologue | Meet the Governor, Is This Anything?, George W. Bush Hi Elaine |
|---|
| Top Ten | Surprises in Barbara Walters Interview with Martha Stewart |
|---|
| 1st Guest | John Cusack |
|---|
| 2nd Guest | Scott Dixon |
|---|
| Music | Hot Hot Heat |
|---|
| Sitting In | David Sanborn |
|---|
| ---- |
|
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | Friend to the children of the world |
|---|
| PostMonologue | |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Anti-obesity campaign, Meet the Governor |
|---|
| Top Ten | Cool Things About Having a Bodybuilder as Governor (presented by bodybuilders) |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Katie Holmes |
|---|
| 2nd Guest | Brian Greene (astrophysicist) |
|---|
| Music | Jonny Lang |
|---|
| Do you like pants? |
|
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | The bad boy of salsa |
|---|
| PostMonologue | Stump the Band |
|---|
| Top Ten | Perks of Being Stationed in Baghdad (presented by service members) |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Dustin Hoffman |
|---|
| 2nd Guest | Jamie Oliver |
|---|
| My head hurts |
|
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | International treasure |
|---|
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (assisted by soccer Stephanie) |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Will It Float? (sewing machine, floor wax) |
|---|
| Top Ten | Messages Left on the Answering Machine of the Cubs Fan Who Tried to Catch the Foul Ball in Game 6 |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Darrell Hammond |
|---|
| Music | Radiohead - 2+2=5 |
|---|
| Other | Six-legged cow, Chinese spacecraft, George W. Bush Joke That's Not Really a Joke |
|---|
| ---- |
|
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | Mr. October |
|---|
| PostMonologue | Biff at the World Series |
|---|
| Survivor Loser | Trish Dunn |
|---|
| Top Ten | Effects of the Geo-magnetic Storm |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Kiefer Sutherland |
|---|
| Music | Emmylou Harris |
|---|
| Do you smell taters? |
|
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | Aerosol cheese tycoon |
|---|
| PostMonologue | Blowing up a Giant Pumpkin |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Is This Anything?, Charlie Brown Halloween clip, Chainsaw massacre ad, George W. Bush Statesman, Meet the Governor |
|---|
| Top Ten | Demands of New York City Cab Drivers |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Courteney Cox |
|---|
| 2nd Guest | Doris Roberts |
|---|
| ---- |
|
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | Inventor of the massaging shower head |
|---|
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (presented by elfen Stephanie) |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | George W. Bush Statesman |
|---|
| Top Ten | Things Overheard During the Meeting Between Jennifer Lopez and Mayor Bloomberg |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Keanu Reeves |
|---|
| 2nd Guest | Sue Johanson |
|---|
| Audience Shot | People in the Audience Who Would Rather be Somewhere Else |
|---|
| Boy, I'm sleepy |
|
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | 180 pounds of bad news |
|---|
| PostMonologue | Know Your Current Events |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Launching footballs off the roof, Meet the Governor, New Osama tape |
|---|
| Top Ten | Things Never Before Said by Wolf Blitzer (presented by Wolf Blitzer) |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Eric McCormick |
|---|
| 2nd Guest | Dante Hall |
|---|
| Audience Shot | How Much Candy Corn can George Clarke Fit In His Mouth? |
|---|
| Here kitty, kitty |
|
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | Real-life jack-o-lantern |
|---|
| PostMonologue | Halloween costumes |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Will it Float? (candy corn) |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Pamela Anderson |
|---|
| 2nd Guest | Amanda Lollar (bat expert) |
|---|
| Music | Bubba Sparxx |
|---|
| Other | Halloween at CBS, Meet the Governor, George W. Bush Presidential Sniff |
|---|
| Audience Shot | The Cape (Rosie Perez) |
|---|
| Damn, I'm fat |
|
|
