|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
| Dave | B-list celebrity |
| PostMonologue | Biff at the Super Bowl |
| 2nd Bit | Super Bowl recap, Rupert's version of Groundhog Day |
| Top Ten | Things You Don't Want to Hear From a Guy at Starbucks (with video) |
| 1st Guest | Regis Philbin |
| Music | The Thrills |
| Audience Shot | Winner of Late Show Super Bowl Pool |
| Daddy wants a kiss |
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
| Dave | A man who's had his fair share of wardrobe malfunctions |
| PostMonologue | Who's Eating the Corn Chips? |
| 2nd Bit | Pat & Kenny Read Oprah Transcripts (Jennifer Aniston) |
| 1st Guest | Harry Connick, Jr. |
| 2nd Guest | Sean Astin |
| Other | Kerry botox response, Bush intelligence commision, Fun with Editing |
| Audience Shot | Do You Have an Idea for the Maury Show? |
| ---- |
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
| Dave | Honorary member of the Jackson family |
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (assisted by Patriot Stephanie) |
| 2nd Bit | What Was It Before It Was Deep Fried? |
| Top Ten | Things Never Before Said by a Presidential Candidate |
| 1st Guest | Bill Belichick |
| 2nd Guest | Cindy Crawford |
| Other | Clip from The View |
| Audience Shot | Late Show Recall Announcement |
| Flip the switch, froggy |
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
| Dave | A man who started telling jokes door-to-door |
| PostMonologue | Tara Dakides accident recap |
| 2nd Bit | Will It Float? (onions) |
| Top Ten | Changes CBS is Making to the Grammys |
| 1st Guest | Hilary Swank |
| 2nd Guest | Todd Barry |
| Music | Nellie McKay |
| Other | George W. Bush: Genius |
| Audience Shot | The Cape (Richard Belzer) |
| I need a ride |
|
| Cold Open | Dr. Phil gives Dave Advice |
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
| Dave | Dean of the White House Press Corp |
| PostMonologue | Grammy Awards Quiz |
| 1st Guest | Tara Dakides |
| 2nd Guest | Dr. Phil |
| Music | Clip of Beatles performance on Ed Sullivan Show |
| Other | George W. Bush Tough Guy Jaw Clench |
| Audience Shot | VCR Alert |
| Worldwide Pants |
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
| Dave | A man who wants to put you behind the wheel of a Saturn Ion today |
| PostMonologue | What Did Merv Have For Lunch? |
| 1st Guest | Drew Barrymore |
| 2nd Guest | Jack Hanna |
| Other | Clip of Bush on Meet the Press |
| Audience Shot | Late Show Beaver Announcement |
| Give us a kiss, cowboy |
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
| Dave | Former member of Simon & Garfunkel & Letterman |
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (assisted by Hockey Stephanie) |
| Top Ten | Perks of Winning of the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show (presented by winner) |
| 1st Guest | Adam Sandler |
| 2nd Guest | Eve |
| Other | A Message from John Kerry, Bush combat footage |
| Please, touch me |
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
| Dave | The voice of the American grocery store owner |
| PostMonologue | It's Pronounced NU-klee-ur, Signs of Valentine's Day |
| Top Ten | Signs You Should Get a Divorce (presented by divorce attorneys) |
| 1st Guest | Bill Murray |
| 2nd Guest | Jermaine O'Neal |
| Audience Shot | Air Supply tour dates |
| God, that's tasty |
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
| Dave | Pete Rose's bookie |
| PostMonologue | Audience Show and Tell |
| 2nd Bit | Will It Float? (chocolate candy) |
| 1st Guest | Alec Baldwin |
| 2nd Guest | Sofia Coppola |
| Music | Kylie Minogue |
| Audience Shot | The Cape (Rob Schneider) |
| Is it gravy? |
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
| Dave | Noted raconteur |
| PostMonologue | Who Said It? |
| 2nd Bit | 50 First Dates sequel, A Message from George W. Bush |
| 1st Slot | Stupid Human Tricks (tennis ball in mouth) |
| 2nd Guest | Ray Romano |
| Music | Kayne West |
| Audience Shot | Late Show Announcement (Alan's leaving) |
| Take me home |
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
| Dave | Perpetual student |
| PostMonologue | Dale Earnhardt, Jr. parallel parking and doing donuts |
| Top Ten | Good Things About Being Named George W. Bush (presented by George W. Bush) |
| 1st Guest | Kelly Ripa |
| 2nd Guest | Lindsay Lohan |
| Sitting In | Leon Russell |
| Other | Message from John Kerry, Mel Gibson interview |
| Beat it Winky |
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
| Dave | The sole voice of reason in a world gone mad |
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (assisted by race driver Stephanie) |
| 2nd Bit | Overexcited Response of the Night, A Message from John Kerry |
| Top Ten | Good Things About Being a New York Yankee |
| 1st Guest | Ashley Judd |
| Music | Ben Harper |
| Other | Is this Anything? |
| Audience Shot | Late Show Mystery Noise |
| Ha ha ha ha ha |
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
| Dave | Founding member of The Commodores |
| Top Ten | Signs Bush is Considering Dumping Cheney |
| 1st Guest | Gordon Giesbrecht (thermophysiologist) |
| 2nd Guest | Sarah Jessica Parker |
| Music | Nelly Furtado |
| Other | Howard Dean at Home, Message from George W. Bush, Message from Congress |
| Ah, cabbage |
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
| Dave | Fearsome sea creature |
| PostMonologue | Audience Show and Tell (balancing) |
| 2nd Bit | Will It Float? (case of toothpaste) [grinder girl understudy], Another cold demonstration |
| Top Ten | Favorite George W. Bush Moments (with video) |
| 1st Guest | Amber Tamblyn |
| Standup | Brian Regan |
| Music | Leona Naess |
| Audience Shot | The Cape (Maura Tierney) |
| Sylvia? |
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
| Dave | Romance fiction's most prolific author |
| PostMonologue | What They're Doing for Sweeps |
| 2nd Bit | Exploding and Dropping stuff, Passion trailer, A Message from Ralph Nader, A Message from George W. Bush |
| Survivor Loser | Rob Cesternino |
| 1st Guest | Jeff Goldblum |
| Music | Norah Jones - What Am I to You? |
| Kaboom! |
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
| Dave | Seven-time olympian |
| PostMonologue | Trump or Monkey? |
| 2nd Bit | Evil Dictator: Where Are They Now? |
| Top Ten | New York Knicks City Dancers' Pet Peeves (presented by dancers) |
| 1st Guest | Edie Falco |
| 2nd Guest | Steven Bailey |
| Music | Edie Brickell |
| Other | Presidential Uh Count, A Message from George W. Bush |
| Audience Shot | Late Show Announcement |
| Hey look, fudge |
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
| Dave | Dancer-gymnast |
| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (assisted by Dentist Stephanie) |
| 2nd Bit | Is That Anything? |
| Top Ten | Things Heard in Line Outside the New Mel Gibson Movie |
| 1st Guest | Diane Sawyer |
| 2nd Guest | Benjamin McKenzie |
| Other | A message from Ralph Nader |
| Audience Shot | Message to Prisoners |
| That's just fine |
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
| Dave | New Jersey home inspector of the year |
| PostMonologue | New Books |
| Top Ten | Good Things About Winning an Academy Award (presented by Ernest Borgnine) |
| 1st Slot | Stupid Pet Tricks |
| 2nd Guest | Tim Robbins |
| Music | Evanescence |
| Other | A message from Kucenich, A Message from Ralph Nader, Alan Greenspan's Classic Comedy Comeback, George W. Bush Word of the Night, A Message from George W. Bush |
| Audience Shot | Stephanie Birkitt on a Rock Wall |
| Please, mow the lawn |
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
| Dave | Crazy Latin hearthrob |
| PostMonologue | Audience Show and Tell |
| 2nd Bit | Will It Float? (billiard balls) |
| Top Ten | Reasons I'm Glad to Have Been Born on February 29th (presented by same) |
| Standup | Bill Cosby |
| Music | Toby Lightman |
| Other | Passion Cash-in |
| Audience Shot | The Cape (with Lou Reed) |
| I just don't care |