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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | B-list celebrity |
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| PostMonologue | Biff at the Super Bowl |
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| 2nd Bit | Super Bowl recap, Rupert's version of Groundhog Day |
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| Top Ten | Things You Don't Want to Hear From a Guy at Starbucks (with video) |
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| 1st Guest | Regis Philbin |
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| Music | The Thrills |
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| Audience Shot | Winner of Late Show Super Bowl Pool |
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| Daddy wants a kiss |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | A man who's had his fair share of wardrobe malfunctions |
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| PostMonologue | Who's Eating the Corn Chips? |
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| 2nd Bit | Pat & Kenny Read Oprah Transcripts (Jennifer Aniston) |
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| 1st Guest | Harry Connick, Jr. |
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| 2nd Guest | Sean Astin |
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| Other | Kerry botox response, Bush intelligence commision, Fun with Editing |
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| Audience Shot | Do You Have an Idea for the Maury Show? |
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| ---- |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | Honorary member of the Jackson family |
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| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (assisted by Patriot Stephanie) |
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| 2nd Bit | What Was It Before It Was Deep Fried? |
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| Top Ten | Things Never Before Said by a Presidential Candidate |
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| 1st Guest | Bill Belichick |
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| 2nd Guest | Cindy Crawford |
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| Other | Clip from The View |
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| Audience Shot | Late Show Recall Announcement |
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| Flip the switch, froggy |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | A man who started telling jokes door-to-door |
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| PostMonologue | Tara Dakides accident recap |
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| 2nd Bit | Will It Float? (onions) |
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| Top Ten | Changes CBS is Making to the Grammys |
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| 1st Guest | Hilary Swank |
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| 2nd Guest | Todd Barry |
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| Music | Nellie McKay |
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| Other | George W. Bush: Genius |
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| Audience Shot | The Cape (Richard Belzer) |
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| I need a ride |
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| Cold Open | Dr. Phil gives Dave Advice |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | Dean of the White House Press Corp |
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| PostMonologue | Grammy Awards Quiz |
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| 1st Guest | Tara Dakides |
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| 2nd Guest | Dr. Phil |
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| Music | Clip of Beatles performance on Ed Sullivan Show |
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| Other | George W. Bush Tough Guy Jaw Clench |
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| Audience Shot | VCR Alert |
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| Worldwide Pants |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | A man who wants to put you behind the wheel of a Saturn Ion today |
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| PostMonologue | What Did Merv Have For Lunch? |
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| 1st Guest | Drew Barrymore |
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| 2nd Guest | Jack Hanna |
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| Other | Clip of Bush on Meet the Press |
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| Audience Shot | Late Show Beaver Announcement |
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| Give us a kiss, cowboy |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | Former member of Simon & Garfunkel & Letterman |
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| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (assisted by Hockey Stephanie) |
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| Top Ten | Perks of Winning of the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show (presented by winner) |
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| 1st Guest | Adam Sandler |
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| 2nd Guest | Eve |
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| Other | A Message from John Kerry, Bush combat footage |
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| Please, touch me |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | The voice of the American grocery store owner |
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| PostMonologue | It's Pronounced NU-klee-ur, Signs of Valentine's Day |
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| Top Ten | Signs You Should Get a Divorce (presented by divorce attorneys) |
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| 1st Guest | Bill Murray |
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| 2nd Guest | Jermaine O'Neal |
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| Audience Shot | Air Supply tour dates |
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| God, that's tasty |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | Pete Rose's bookie |
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| PostMonologue | Audience Show and Tell |
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| 2nd Bit | Will It Float? (chocolate candy) |
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| 1st Guest | Alec Baldwin |
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| 2nd Guest | Sofia Coppola |
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| Music | Kylie Minogue |
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| Audience Shot | The Cape (Rob Schneider) |
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| Is it gravy? |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | Noted raconteur |
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| PostMonologue | Who Said It? |
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| 2nd Bit | 50 First Dates sequel, A Message from George W. Bush |
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| 1st Slot | Stupid Human Tricks (tennis ball in mouth) |
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| 2nd Guest | Ray Romano |
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| Music | Kayne West |
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| Audience Shot | Late Show Announcement (Alan's leaving) |
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| Take me home |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | Perpetual student |
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| PostMonologue | Dale Earnhardt, Jr. parallel parking and doing donuts |
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| Top Ten | Good Things About Being Named George W. Bush (presented by George W. Bush) |
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| 1st Guest | Kelly Ripa |
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| 2nd Guest | Lindsay Lohan |
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| Sitting In | Leon Russell |
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| Other | Message from John Kerry, Mel Gibson interview |
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| Beat it Winky |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | The sole voice of reason in a world gone mad |
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| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (assisted by race driver Stephanie) |
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| 2nd Bit | Overexcited Response of the Night, A Message from John Kerry |
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| Top Ten | Good Things About Being a New York Yankee |
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| 1st Guest | Ashley Judd |
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| Music | Ben Harper |
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| Other | Is this Anything? |
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| Audience Shot | Late Show Mystery Noise |
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| Ha ha ha ha ha |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | Founding member of The Commodores |
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| Top Ten | Signs Bush is Considering Dumping Cheney |
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| 1st Guest | Gordon Giesbrecht (thermophysiologist) |
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| 2nd Guest | Sarah Jessica Parker |
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| Music | Nelly Furtado |
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| Other | Howard Dean at Home, Message from George W. Bush, Message from Congress |
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| Ah, cabbage |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | Fearsome sea creature |
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| PostMonologue | Audience Show and Tell (balancing) |
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| 2nd Bit | Will It Float? (case of toothpaste) [grinder girl understudy], Another cold demonstration |
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| Top Ten | Favorite George W. Bush Moments (with video) |
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| 1st Guest | Amber Tamblyn |
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| Standup | Brian Regan |
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| Music | Leona Naess |
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| Audience Shot | The Cape (Maura Tierney) |
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| Sylvia? |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | Romance fiction's most prolific author |
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| PostMonologue | What They're Doing for Sweeps |
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| 2nd Bit | Exploding and Dropping stuff, Passion trailer, A Message from Ralph Nader, A Message from George W. Bush |
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| Survivor Loser | Rob Cesternino |
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| 1st Guest | Jeff Goldblum |
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| Music | Norah Jones - What Am I to You? |
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| Kaboom! |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | Seven-time olympian |
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| PostMonologue | Trump or Monkey? |
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| 2nd Bit | Evil Dictator: Where Are They Now? |
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| Top Ten | New York Knicks City Dancers' Pet Peeves (presented by dancers) |
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| 1st Guest | Edie Falco |
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| 2nd Guest | Steven Bailey |
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| Music | Edie Brickell |
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| Other | Presidential Uh Count, A Message from George W. Bush |
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| Audience Shot | Late Show Announcement |
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| Hey look, fudge |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | Dancer-gymnast |
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| PostMonologue | CBS Mailbag (assisted by Dentist Stephanie) |
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| 2nd Bit | Is That Anything? |
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| Top Ten | Things Heard in Line Outside the New Mel Gibson Movie |
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| 1st Guest | Diane Sawyer |
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| 2nd Guest | Benjamin McKenzie |
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| Other | A message from Ralph Nader |
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| Audience Shot | Message to Prisoners |
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| That's just fine |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | New Jersey home inspector of the year |
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| PostMonologue | New Books |
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| Top Ten | Good Things About Winning an Academy Award (presented by Ernest Borgnine) |
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| 1st Slot | Stupid Pet Tricks |
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| 2nd Guest | Tim Robbins |
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| Music | Evanescence |
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| Other | A message from Kucenich, A Message from Ralph Nader, Alan Greenspan's Classic Comedy Comeback, George W. Bush Word of the Night, A Message from George W. Bush |
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| Audience Shot | Stephanie Birkitt on a Rock Wall |
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| Please, mow the lawn |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | Crazy Latin hearthrob |
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| PostMonologue | Audience Show and Tell |
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| 2nd Bit | Will It Float? (billiard balls) |
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| Top Ten | Reasons I'm Glad to Have Been Born on February 29th (presented by same) |
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| Standup | Bill Cosby |
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| Music | Toby Lightman |
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| Other | Passion Cash-in |
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| Audience Shot | The Cape (with Lou Reed) |
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| I just don't care |
