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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | A man with shock-absorbing leather cushions |
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| PostMonologue | Biff at Yankee Training Camp |
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| 1st Guest | Drew Barrymore |
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| 2nd Guest | Charles Barkley |
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| Other | Soap Opera Clip of the Night, Devil Rays and steroids announcement, Trump Knows What He Likes, Lisa Marie Presley on Oprah |
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| Audience Shot | Daylight Savings Time Reminder |
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| ---- |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | A man who wants to put you behind the wheel of a new Pontiac |
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| PostMonologue | Happy Birthday Dave |
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| 2nd Bit | What's in the Green Room, Alan's Salute to Secretaries |
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| Top Ten | Good Things About Turning 58 |
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| 1st Guest | Mickey Rourke |
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| Performance | Jason Randal (magician) |
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| Other | Unknown interruption, NYC's first automated subway train, Miss USA Pageant: Asking the Tough Questions |
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| Ahh, fresh pants |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | Disgruntled sales clerk |
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| PostMonologue | Late Show Reenactment of the E! Channel of the Reenactment of the Michael Jackson Trial |
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| 2nd Bit | Alan's Up Close Celebrity Interview |
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| Top Ten | Secrets to Winning the Miss USA Pageant (presented by Miss USA) |
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| 1st Guest | David Duchovny |
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| Music | Ray Lamontagne |
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| Other | Slingshot Eggos, Time's Least Influential People, Sony smell-o-vision demo |
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| Audience Shot | Reenactment bow |
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| Pants from space |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | ---- |
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| PostMonologue | ---- |
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| Top Ten | Signs Your Accountant Just Doesn't Give a Damn Anymore |
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| 1st Guest | Anthony LaPaglia |
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| 2nd Guest | Ana Gasteyer |
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| Music | Mariah Carey |
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| Other | Telemundo clip, Everything's better with funny music, Dave's funny phone calls |
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| Pants, doctor? |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | Generous tipper |
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| PostMonologue | Stump the Band |
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| 2nd Bit | Will it Float? (jelly) |
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| Top Ten | Signs You're in a Bad Hospital |
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| 1st Guest | Kristen Chenowith |
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| 2nd Guest | Johnny Lechner |
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| Music | Ludacris |
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| Audience Shot | Late Show Reminder |
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| My accountant is Fred Nigrow |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | Moralist Victorian novelist |
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| PostMonologue | A Day in the Life of Prince Charles and Camilla Bowles |
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| Top Ten | Least Popular Prom Themes |
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| 1st Guest | Farah Fawcett |
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| 2nd Guest | Martin Freeman |
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| Other | Voice-activated remote control, CNN Weekend Edition, Biff's Spring message, Regis ending |
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| Halleluah pants |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | The sheperd boy who found the dead sea scrolls |
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| PostMonologue | Meet the Neighbors |
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| Other | Is This Anything?, Soap Opera clip of the Night, JAG Season Finale, Alan Kalter's Girls Gone Nuts |
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| Top Ten | Signs You've Hired a Bad Secretary |
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| 1st Guest | Hank Azaria |
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| 2nd Guest | Jeff MacGregor |
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| Audience Shot | Guests stay at ... |
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| Do you know where your pants are? |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | A man who's calling from inside the house |
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| PostMonologue | Product Cutbacks |
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| 1st Guest | Amy Sedaris |
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| 2nd Guest | Daniel Tammet (math savant) |
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| Music | LCD Soundsystem |
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| Top Ten | Questions to Ask Yourself Before Camping Out to See Star Wars |
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| Other | Endless Newscaster Banter of the Night, Secretaries Day Ad, Harold Larkin's car tips |
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| Audience Shot | What Number Does Dave Look Like Contest |
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| You can't beat pants |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | Pakistani nuclear scientist |
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| PostMonologue | Audience Show & Tell |
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| Top Ten | Thoughts Going Through President Bush's Mind at this Moment |
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| 1st Guest | Paris Hilton |
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| 2nd Guest | Jo Frost (supernanny) |
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| Audience Shot | Red Bull |
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| Ahhh |
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| Cold Open | Naked opening |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | The strongest evidence of life on Mars |
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| PostMonologue | Week in Review |
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| 2nd Bit | Will it Float? (fertilizer) |
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| Top Ten | Signs You're In a Bad Casino |
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| 1st Guest | Teri Hatcher |
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| Standup | Harry Hill |
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| Other | Oprah/Lisa Marie Presley Clip, May Day |
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| Nice pants, Kenny |
