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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | Vegetarian ground beef substitute |
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| PostMonologue | Bush: 1st Term vs. 2nd Term |
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| 1st Guest | Debra Messing |
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| 2nd Guest | Peyton Manning (quarterback challenge) |
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| Other | Baghdad celebrates, Kerry: Back With a Vengeance |
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| We make pants for pets |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | Disgraced Jets kicker |
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| PostMonologue | God's Super Bowl announcement, George W. Bush Pretends to Be Interested |
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| Top Ten | Surprises in the State of the Union |
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| 1st Guest | Patricia Heaton |
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| 2nd Guest | John Witherspoon |
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| Music | Gibson/Baldwin Grammy Jazz Ensembles |
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| Other | Ice sculptor |
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| Boy, I'm hungry |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | Lovable TV Mom |
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| PostMonologue | Audience Show & Tell |
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| 2nd Bit | Jigsaw, the football playing dog |
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| Music | Elton John |
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| 2nd Guest | Eva Mendes |
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| Go call the cops |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | Mexican naval recruit |
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| PostMonologue | Week in Review |
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| 2nd Bit | Will It Float? (cheese whiz) |
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| Top Ten | Things You Don't Want to Hear in a Huddle (presented by New England Patriots) |
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| 1st Guest | Al Franken |
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| 2nd Guest | Matthew Fox |
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| Music | Nanci Griffith |
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| I need help |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | Loquacious wide receiver |
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| PostMonologue | Biff at the Super Bowl |
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| 2nd Bit | Stuntman on fire jumps off roof |
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| Top Ten | Philadelphia Eagles' Excuses |
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| 1st Guest | Will Smith |
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| 2nd Guest | Tom Brady |
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| Other | Clip from Paul McCartney's Half-time Show |
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| Time for the medicine |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | Million dollar baby |
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| PostMonologue | Super Bowl Quiz |
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| 2nd Bit | Did Cheney & Hastert Not Know This Was Televised?, Hubble budget cuts |
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| Top Ten | Slogans for the New Gay Beer |
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| 1st Guest | Kevin James |
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| 2nd Guest | Aishwarya Rai |
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| Music | Three Doors Down |
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| Audience Shot | Jake & The Fatman |
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| My head hurts |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | A man voted most dependable by J.D. Power & Associates |
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| PostMonologue | Valentine's Day Cards |
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| 2nd Bit | Psychic Chocolate, Star Jones Girl Count of the Night |
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| Top Ten | Messages Left on Jose Canseco's Answering Machine |
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| 1st Guest | David Hyde Pierce |
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| Music | Howie Day |
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| Other | Alan's Where are They Now?, Applebee's Fashion Week Special |
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| Audience Shot | Guess the Winner of our Previous Contest Winner |
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| Run like hell |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | Iraqi ex-patriat |
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| PostMonologue | Know Your Current Events |
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| Top Ten | Possible Titles for the Donald Trump Movie |
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| 1st Guest | Billy Crystal |
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| 2nd Guest | Patrick Lawler (nail gun survivor) |
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| Audience Shot | 3-D glasses |
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| Do you smell taters? |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | Major credit card holder |
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| PostMonologue | Week in Review |
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| 2nd Bit | Will it Float? (Hershey bar) |
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| Top Ten | Signs You're in a Bad Relationship (presented by divorce attorneys) |
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| 1st Guest | Paris Hilton |
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| Standup | Bill Burr |
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| Audience Shot | Celebrities Not Celebrating Birthdays |
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| Do You Like Pants? |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | A man who wants to cater your next party or event |
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| PostMonologue | More with Les |
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| 2nd Bit | Issue with The Gates, Giambi response to Canseco |
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| Top Ten | Words I Never Thought I'd Hear From Mike Wallace |
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| 1st Guest | Dr. Phil |
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| Music | Unwritten Law |
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| Audience Shot | Late Show Announcement (candy recall) |
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| Are you still up? |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | The lovable gorilla with a 600 word vocabulary |
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| PostMonologue | Bob Borden in the Poconos |
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| 1st Slot | Kid Scientists |
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| 2nd Guest | Keanu Reeves |
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| Music | Michael Buble |
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| Audience Shot | Locked Out NHL Player of the Night |
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| Here, kitty kitty |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | A flu-born bacteria commonly found in dairy products |
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| PostMonologue | Grammy Award Quiz |
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| 2nd Bit | Pat Farmer Gives Away the Ending to Historical Biographies |
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| Top Ten | Secrets to Winning the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show |
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| 1st Guest | Kelly Ripa |
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| 2nd Guest | Taye Diggs |
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| Other | FDA announcement, George W. Bush Talks Dirty |
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| Audience Shot | Christo & Jeanne-Claude's Appearance Update |
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| Damn, I'm fat |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | The biggest box-office draw in India |
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| PostMonologue | Audience Show & Tell |
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| 2nd Bit | Dropping Stuff off the Roof |
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| Top Ten | Most Common Questions Asked About The Gates |
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| 1st Guest | Charlie Sheen |
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| Music | Tori Amos |
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| I like pants |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | Reformulated with 30% less sodium |
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| PostMonologue | Week in Review |
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| 2nd Bit | Will it Float? (blank cds) |
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| Top Ten | Signs Your Co-worker is on Steroids |
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| Standup | Roseanne Barr |
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| 2nd Guest | Rachel Weisz |
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| Audience Shot | Audience Choice |
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| Boy, I'm sleepy |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | Savvy Tech Investor |
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| PostMonologue | Oyster Eating World Record (Crazy Legs Conti) |
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| Top Ten | Good Things About Having the Same Name as a President (presented by eponymous) |
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| 1st Slot | Stupid Pet Tricks |
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| 2nd Guest | Bonnie Hunt |
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| Other | George W. Bush Talks Dirty, Clip of Bush phone conversations |
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| Is your name Connie? |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | Kurdish power broker |
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| PostMonologue | Sidewalk Idol |
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| Top Ten | Messages Left on Paris Hilton's Cell Phone |
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| 1st Guest | Barbara Walters |
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| 2nd Guest | Rachel Bilson |
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| Music | Kings of Leon |
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| Other | George W. Bush Feels Your Pain, New Batmobile, Latest Christos Installation |
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| Audience Shot | My Pet Looks Like Dave Contest |
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| Fix me a snack |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | A man created from Monsanto genetically-engineered seed |
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| PostMonologue | Charts and Graphs |
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| 2nd Bit | Alan Kalter: My Point of View |
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| 1st Guest | Michael J. Fox |
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| 2nd Guest | Amanda Bynes |
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| Other | Ice on Mars, Rats at The Gates, Bush phone clip, Rupert's Final Thought |
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| Audience Shot | Late Show Reminder |
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| Does your head hurt? |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | An herbal supplement not approved by the FDA |
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| PostMonologue | Know Your Current Events |
|---|
| 1st Guest | John Travolta |
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| 2nd Guest | Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon |
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| Other | Regis ending |
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| Pants are fun |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | A man who saves string |
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| PostMonologue | Week in Review |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Sculpting Biff Out of Legos |
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| Top Ten | Revelations in the Secret Bush Tapes |
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| 1st Guest | Ricky Gervais |
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| 2nd Guest | Rachel Ray |
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| Other | Will It Float? (banjo) |
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| Audience Shot | Academy Award Predictions with Susan Hum |
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| Do you like snakes? |
|
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | Bluegrass mandolin legend |
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| PostMonologue | Freestyle snowmobiling |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Academy Award Break, Academy Award Moment of the Night, What the Hell is George W. Bush Talking About? |
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| Top Ten | Revelations in the Bush Secret Tapes |
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| 1st Guest | The Rock |
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| Music | Solomon Burke |
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| Put on Your Pants |
