|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
| Dave | A man who exhibits all the tendencies |
| PostMonologue | Would You Like to Ride on a Dog Sled? |
| 2nd Bit | Alan's Words about The Gates |
| Top Ten | Other Changes at CNN |
| 1st Guest | Kirstie Alley |
| Music | Kathleen Edwards |
| Other | Subway Price Hike, George W. Bush: Washington Insider, Michael Jackson Trial Ad |
| Audience Shot | Oprah I Want a New Kitchen! |
| Kilts are not pants |
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
| Dave | A man who's in a geo-synchronous orbit |
| PostMonologue | A Day in the Life of the Michael Jackson Trial |
| 2nd Bit | The Insider at Late Show Fan Convention |
| Top Ten | Reasons I Love Racing (presented by Buddy Rice) |
| 1st Guest | Vin Diesel |
| Music | Amos Lee |
| Other | Fellow Inmates thank Martha Stewart, George W. Bush Pickup Line |
| Nice pants, sister |
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
| Dave | Microsopic sea creature |
| PostMonologue | Stump the Band |
| 1st Guest | Dan Rather |
| 2nd Guest | Poppy Montgomery |
| Audience Shot | Daylight savings time reminder |
| Pantalonis |
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
| Dave | Martha Stewart's parole officer |
| PostMonologue | Week in Review |
| 2nd Bit | Will it Float? (box of wine) |
| Top Ten | Things Martha Stewart Will Miss About Prison |
| 1st Guest | Bruce Willis (orange suit) |
| Standup | Greg Giraldo |
| Audience Shot | Insta-Poll |
| Do re mi pants |
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
| Dave | Complacent housewife |
| PostMonologue | Tony Learns Magic |
| 2nd Bit | Biff's Hey You |
| Top Ten | Things Overheard During Clinton's Hospital Stay |
| 1st Guest | Ashton Kutcher |
| Music | Al Green |
| Other | Clip from re-edited The Passion, George W. Bush: Master Orator |
| Audience Shot | Late Show Announcement |
| Biscuits 'n' Gravy |
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
| Dave | Oklahoma State point guard |
| PostMonologue | Guess the Green Puddle |
| Top Ten | Reasons I Quit American Idol (presented by Mario Vasquez) |
| 1st Guest | Jimmy Fallon |
| 2nd Guest | Emily VanCamp |
| Music | The Four Tops |
| Other | A Message from Martha Stewart, George W. Bush: Lie |
| Audience Shot | Alan's People Who Can Kiss My Ass |
| ---- |
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
| Dave | Pretender to the throne |
| PostMonologue | Basketball camera, CNN hump day report, George W. Bush Joke That's Not Really a Joke, Daytime Emmy Nominations |
| 2nd Bit | Alan's Message for Condoleeza Rice |
| Top Ten | Signs Your Team Won't be Winning the NCAA Basketball Championship |
| 1st Guest | Amanda Peet |
| 2nd Guest | Dean Kamazes |
| Audience Shot | Susan Hum's NCAA Basketball picks |
| ---- |
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
| Dave | A man who's serious about ... |
| PostMonologue | Pat shoots basketballs from the roof |
| 2nd Bit | Alan Kalter's Are You *&!@* Kidding Me? |
| Top Ten | Things Congress Forgot to Ask Baseball Players |
| 1st Guest | Sandra Bullock |
| Music | Gwen Stefani |
| Audience Shot | I Want Jose Canseco to Stick Me in the Ass Contest |
| Other | Clip from the Steroids Hearing, George W. Bush Talks Dirty |
| Buy me some pants [mumbled] |
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
| Dave | Disorganized crime kingpin |
| PostMonologue | A Special Message from Robert Blake, Prince Charles Public Service Announcemnet, Jacko Cellmate contest, Congressional Question That Makes No Sense |
| Top Ten | Signs You've Hired a Bad Easter Bunny |
| 1st Guest | Jessica Alba |
| 2nd Guest | Brian Greene |
| Music | Queens of the Stone Age |
| Audience Shot | Susan Hum Explains String Theory |
| I Like Pants [mumbled] |
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
| Dave | The grand old man of table tennis |
| PostMonologue | On Sale Now |
| 2nd Bit | Pat & Kenny Read Oprah Transcripts (Kirstie Alley) |
| Top Ten | Slogans for Breast Enlargement Gum |
| 1st Guest | P. Diddy |
| 2nd Guest | Erika Christensen |
| Other | Is Barbara Walters Feeling Alright?, Rumsfeld Answers the Tough Questions, George W. Bush: Inappropriate Smile |
| Audience Shot | NCAA Fun Fact |
| Do you like pants? [mumbled] |
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
| Dave | Bad boy Secretary of Commerce |
| PostMonologue | What People Will Do for $20 |
| 2nd Bit | Paul's spring song |
| Top Ten | Things Overheard at the White House Easter Egg Hunt |
| 1st Guest | Queen Latifah |
| 2nd Guest | Seth McFarlane |
| Other | Burger King Omelet sandwich, The new bachelor, Tony's birthday |
| Audience Shot | Late Show website |
| Pants are fun [mumbled] |
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
| Dave | A man who requests the pleasure of your company |
| PostMonologue | What's in the Chili? |
| Top Ten | Ways the Airlines are Cutting Back |
| 1st Guest | Brittany Murphy |
| 2nd Guest | Bob Sarlatte |
| Music | The John Butler Trio |
| Other | Michael Jackson Trial Re-enactment highlights, Afghanistan Circuit City, A Moment with George W. Bush |
| mmm mmm mmm |
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
| Dave | A man who's serrated for extra cutting power |
| PostMonologue | Dave's Record Collection |
| 2nd Bit | Soap Opera Clip of the Night |
| 1st Guest | Penelope Cruz |
| 2nd Guest | Sarah Vowell |
| Music | Kaiser Chiefs |
| Audience Shot | Al Norwood congratulations |
| Time for a kiss |
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
| Dave | Nobel Prize winning chemis who discovered Retsin |
| PostMonologue | Audience Show & Tell (Iraq singer) |
| Top Ten | Signs You're Not Getting Enough Sleep |
| 1st Guest | Denzel Washington |
| Music | Faith Evans |
| Other | Soap Opera Clip of the Night, Blind Justice clip |
| Audience Shot | Let's Make a Deal tickets |
| Time for a kiss |
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
| Dave | Starbuck's district manager of the year |
| PostMonologue | Week in Review |
| 2nd Bit | Will It Float? (gumdrops) |
| Top Ten | Signs Your Baseball Team Isn't Ready for the New Season |
| 1st Guest | Lisa Marie Presley |
| 2nd Guest | Ahmed Ibrahim (matchmaking taxi driver) |
| Standup | Jake Johannsen |
| Audience Shot | Tony showering under the leak |
| Worldwide Pants [mumbled] |