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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | A man who exhibits all the tendencies |
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| PostMonologue | Would You Like to Ride on a Dog Sled? |
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| 2nd Bit | Alan's Words about The Gates |
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| Top Ten | Other Changes at CNN |
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| 1st Guest | Kirstie Alley |
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| Music | Kathleen Edwards |
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| Other | Subway Price Hike, George W. Bush: Washington Insider, Michael Jackson Trial Ad |
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| Audience Shot | Oprah I Want a New Kitchen! |
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| Kilts are not pants |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | A man who's in a geo-synchronous orbit |
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| PostMonologue | A Day in the Life of the Michael Jackson Trial |
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| 2nd Bit | The Insider at Late Show Fan Convention |
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| Top Ten | Reasons I Love Racing (presented by Buddy Rice) |
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| 1st Guest | Vin Diesel |
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| Music | Amos Lee |
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| Other | Fellow Inmates thank Martha Stewart, George W. Bush Pickup Line |
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| Nice pants, sister |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | Microsopic sea creature |
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| PostMonologue | Stump the Band |
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| 1st Guest | Dan Rather |
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| 2nd Guest | Poppy Montgomery |
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| Audience Shot | Daylight savings time reminder |
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| Pantalonis |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | Martha Stewart's parole officer |
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| PostMonologue | Week in Review |
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| 2nd Bit | Will it Float? (box of wine) |
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| Top Ten | Things Martha Stewart Will Miss About Prison |
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| 1st Guest | Bruce Willis (orange suit) |
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| Standup | Greg Giraldo |
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| Audience Shot | Insta-Poll |
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| Do re mi pants |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | Complacent housewife |
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| PostMonologue | Tony Learns Magic |
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| 2nd Bit | Biff's Hey You |
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| Top Ten | Things Overheard During Clinton's Hospital Stay |
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| 1st Guest | Ashton Kutcher |
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| Music | Al Green |
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| Other | Clip from re-edited The Passion, George W. Bush: Master Orator |
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| Audience Shot | Late Show Announcement |
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| Biscuits 'n' Gravy |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | Oklahoma State point guard |
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| PostMonologue | Guess the Green Puddle |
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| Top Ten | Reasons I Quit American Idol (presented by Mario Vasquez) |
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| 1st Guest | Jimmy Fallon |
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| 2nd Guest | Emily VanCamp |
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| Music | The Four Tops |
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| Other | A Message from Martha Stewart, George W. Bush: Lie |
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| Audience Shot | Alan's People Who Can Kiss My Ass |
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| ---- |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | Pretender to the throne |
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| PostMonologue | Basketball camera, CNN hump day report, George W. Bush Joke That's Not Really a Joke, Daytime Emmy Nominations |
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| 2nd Bit | Alan's Message for Condoleeza Rice |
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| Top Ten | Signs Your Team Won't be Winning the NCAA Basketball Championship |
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| 1st Guest | Amanda Peet |
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| 2nd Guest | Dean Kamazes |
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| Audience Shot | Susan Hum's NCAA Basketball picks |
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| ---- |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | A man who's serious about ... |
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| PostMonologue | Pat shoots basketballs from the roof |
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| 2nd Bit | Alan Kalter's Are You *&!@* Kidding Me? |
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| Top Ten | Things Congress Forgot to Ask Baseball Players |
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| 1st Guest | Sandra Bullock |
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| Music | Gwen Stefani |
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| Audience Shot | I Want Jose Canseco to Stick Me in the Ass Contest |
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| Other | Clip from the Steroids Hearing, George W. Bush Talks Dirty |
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| Buy me some pants [mumbled] |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | Disorganized crime kingpin |
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| PostMonologue | A Special Message from Robert Blake, Prince Charles Public Service Announcemnet, Jacko Cellmate contest, Congressional Question That Makes No Sense |
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| Top Ten | Signs You've Hired a Bad Easter Bunny |
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| 1st Guest | Jessica Alba |
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| 2nd Guest | Brian Greene |
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| Music | Queens of the Stone Age |
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| Audience Shot | Susan Hum Explains String Theory |
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| I Like Pants [mumbled] |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | The grand old man of table tennis |
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| PostMonologue | On Sale Now |
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| 2nd Bit | Pat & Kenny Read Oprah Transcripts (Kirstie Alley) |
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| Top Ten | Slogans for Breast Enlargement Gum |
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| 1st Guest | P. Diddy |
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| 2nd Guest | Erika Christensen |
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| Other | Is Barbara Walters Feeling Alright?, Rumsfeld Answers the Tough Questions, George W. Bush: Inappropriate Smile |
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| Audience Shot | NCAA Fun Fact |
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| Do you like pants? [mumbled] |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | Bad boy Secretary of Commerce |
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| PostMonologue | What People Will Do for $20 |
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| 2nd Bit | Paul's spring song |
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| Top Ten | Things Overheard at the White House Easter Egg Hunt |
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| 1st Guest | Queen Latifah |
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| 2nd Guest | Seth McFarlane |
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| Other | Burger King Omelet sandwich, The new bachelor, Tony's birthday |
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| Audience Shot | Late Show website |
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| Pants are fun [mumbled] |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | A man who requests the pleasure of your company |
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| PostMonologue | What's in the Chili? |
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| Top Ten | Ways the Airlines are Cutting Back |
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| 1st Guest | Brittany Murphy |
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| 2nd Guest | Bob Sarlatte |
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| Music | The John Butler Trio |
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| Other | Michael Jackson Trial Re-enactment highlights, Afghanistan Circuit City, A Moment with George W. Bush |
|---|
| mmm mmm mmm |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | A man who's serrated for extra cutting power |
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| PostMonologue | Dave's Record Collection |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Soap Opera Clip of the Night |
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| 1st Guest | Penelope Cruz |
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| 2nd Guest | Sarah Vowell |
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| Music | Kaiser Chiefs |
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| Audience Shot | Al Norwood congratulations |
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| Time for a kiss |
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| New York | The greatest city in the world |
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| Dave | Nobel Prize winning chemis who discovered Retsin |
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| PostMonologue | Audience Show & Tell (Iraq singer) |
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| Top Ten | Signs You're Not Getting Enough Sleep |
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| 1st Guest | Denzel Washington |
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| Music | Faith Evans |
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| Other | Soap Opera Clip of the Night, Blind Justice clip |
|---|
| Audience Shot | Let's Make a Deal tickets |
|---|
| Time for a kiss |
|
|
| New York | The greatest city in the world |
|---|
| Dave | Starbuck's district manager of the year |
|---|
| PostMonologue | Week in Review |
|---|
| 2nd Bit | Will It Float? (gumdrops) |
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| Top Ten | Signs Your Baseball Team Isn't Ready for the New Season |
|---|
| 1st Guest | Lisa Marie Presley |
|---|
| 2nd Guest | Ahmed Ibrahim (matchmaking taxi driver) |
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| Standup | Jake Johannsen |
|---|
| Audience Shot | Tony showering under the leak |
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| Worldwide Pants [mumbled] |
