Hi Mike!
  Thanks for the web site address. That was fun! Great web site. It was good to see pictures of the guys again. That brought back a lot of good memories.  Glad to see that the screwballs are still terrorizing the league.
        --- non website related email text removed ---
Ok Mike, thanks for the web site. Talk to you later.

Tony

Oh yeah, the Screwballs are a real terror...  We could probably film one of our games and sell it has a tape of softball bloopers....  but thanks for the kind words, Tony.

i've just briefly viewed your site  and your shit section as people walk in behind me .... nice

C'mom man...spunk up your site a little... where's the UI graphics work?
I still gotta work on my site but there's just no time at all.
But one day ... there'll be more stuff!

Hehehe... anything that can get you in trouble, Khoa, I approve of.  I admit, my site was kinda plain back in November...  but now it's 2001, baby, and the site has been updated with the times.  It's a modern masterpiece.  HTML Weekly reports "Smorgasbord of Crappola is Craptacular!".  Rex Reed gives it "****".  Of course, that doesn't mean much.
Just keep watching, Khoa...  there will be some updates soon which will knock your socks off (assuming you're wearing socks).

Oh, and if you're interested in visiting Khoa's site to see what it looks like, go to http://www.eecs.tufts.edu/~ktran

What's up Mike?  I just checked out your website.  I really like it.  I remember some of those characters from back in the day and I definately
remember the DOPE comic book.  I liked you "SHIT" page too.  There was some crazy shit in there.  Hows about Bob gettin' ready for that big dick (that was hilarious, it looks so real).  You should have included that picture of you pretending to hold up that giant, red block in NY.  Your hiking page was great too.  Some of the pictures you took were really excellent.  A professional couldn't have done better.  The captions were great too, especially the "Ass in a crevace" and the one where you stopped the giant boulder. I noticed the picture of me in the "SHIT" section too.  I have a real good one somewhere of me and a friend in Montreal tag-teaming some statue.  I should send it to you if I find it.  The softball page was cool too. Since my professional baseball career isn't going to well, I think I'll join a softball league sometime.  Don't worry, you'll get the Hard Coors next season (Of course that is if you don't sook in the playoffs. A .143 in the playoffs?  J/K)  I need to start a website too.  Did you get free space from mediaone?  Well, I'll talk to you soon.  Keep up the good work on the site. I'm looking forward to seeing the Sprinkles page.
-JASON

Wow, my ass hasn't been kissed like that since...  well, ever.  I don't know what to say.  But if you haven't gotten a chance yet, Jason, you should check out the Sprinkles page.  It is up, and it's better than ever.  Matt deserves your praises as well.  And in answer to your questions...  that .143 average in the playoffs is just a statistic - it doesn't tell you the real story.  I don't think it's mathematically possible to portray with numbers how bad I sucked.   and yes, those fine folks at mediaone (now AT&T) supplied me with free webspace.  Of course it's not enough, and I have to utilize space provided by the fine folks at Yahoo and Geocities.

Shit is a crazy waste of time!!!

I was suppose to be making lists of top fantasy football players....  but hey....  shit comes first!!!

Later,
John

p.s.   Go G-men!!!   Dave Thomas rules.  Jason Sehorn (#31) will be the next
Backstreet Boy!!!

Shit is a big waste of time.  If we didn't have to shit, we could tack on 15 to 20 minutes to each day (on average, if you consider diarrhea and the like) and that time could be spent bettering the world for future generations.  Or, we could use it to dig the wax out of our ears.  whichever you like.  But shitting does break up the work day nicely.  No boss or co-worker can bother you when you're on the shitter...

As for the Backstreet Boy comment... I'm as lost as all of you...

Yo Mike,

I borrowed some of your pics off of your "Shitie" web site.  I have to do a writing exercise.  It requires me to write captions on 30 "odd" pictures.

I'm going back to work next week subbing.  I've had the last 7 weeks off.  No matter how hard I try I can't get past the second brown board on Ms. Pac-Man and Starbucks never has French Roast coffee when I want it.  Shit!!!

What's new with you??  Are you gonna coach the'balls next year???  Did you ever form a 'balls football team???  Are you gonna rent Dalbon's country cottage and have a rager there (if so call me up)???

Later,
John

p.s.  I found the pic of me, Fetters, and Tony S. in the shopping cart.  Nice!!
 

Nice to see that I'm getting repeat visitors to the Smorgasbord, even if they happen to be friends...  Well, John, glad my "Shitie" site helped you with your writing exercise.  I just wish I could help you with the Ms. Pac-Man and Coffee related problems.  As for the 'balls, we are still in business...  2001 is our 4th season... where has the time gone?  Oh yeah...  we spent it guzzling beers in the parking lot.  The shopping cart pic is a classic...  There's a lot of hidden gems throughout the Smorgasbord pages... with new ones being added all the time (well, at least whenever I'm bored enough to throw something up on the site)...  thanks for writing, John...

Hey man, just found your site....really cool. I live in Indy and we have all three flavors here. If you want I can hook you up with Frankenberry.

L8r
Tony

Well, I responded to Tony, and asked him how much it would cost to buy Frankenberry & send it to MA.  And I also asked how he found the Smorgasbord....  here's his response:

From: FrischandBabydoll
Sent: Tuesday, June 12, 2001
Subject: Re:Hows your breakfast?

Hey Mike,

     I got to your site via a search on Google. I knew there were more than the top three(We have trouble getting Boo Berry.) I was positive about Fruity Yummy Mummy, I thought there were two others, the Wolf (Fruit Brute) which I originally thought was a Count Chocula with Vanilla Marshmallows and one I could have swore was the Creature from the Fruit Lagoon. Well after searching, I was half right on both accounts. In other cereal related news,I have a friend named Rob and we wax fondly about all our favorite cereals. We both work 3rd shift and were at a local Grocery store ande we saw  a box of Qwuisp Cereal. It was like a Captain Crunch except the pieces were in the shape of diaphrams. It was one of my favorite cereals so I bought 4 boxes.  Anywho, I'll check on the mailing price and get back to you asap.

Later.
Tony

Hmmm...  I never heard of the diaphram cereal... Qwuisp?  Does it taste like diaphrams, too?  I took upon myself to look up this cereal...  it seems to be called Quisp, by Quaker Oats, and you can find out all about it at www.quisp.com.

It all started on a cold day. I was wearing mittens. And I mentioned to my friend, I felt like a lobster. And I asked him if he had ever heard of Lobster boy. He said he had not. I asked the computer teacher if he had heard of Loberster boy. No one had! Anyways, I looked up Lobster Boy, found your site and me and my friend thought it was very funny if not educational. Very nice site, so I thought I would be a dumbass and tell you I like it. Great Job.

P.S. People.crapola.net is porn!

hehehe..  glad my site could help you out.  You must spread the word of hte lobster boy, so that others will not follow in his clawsteps.   (and thanks for the new porn site - can't get enough of them!)

Hey Mike,

do you have a webpage editor program or do you use strait html with javascript?  Your music page looks great is it strait html work...nice.

Gary

I just use the webpage editor that comes with Netscape for the most part.  There is some javascript, but not much.  Thanks for the compliment.  And "strait" is spelled "straight".

When the hell is the next minimus show?

And what the hell happened to the Screwballs?

Peace out,

John

Well, unfortunately, minimus has been on an indefinite hiatus.  We haven't practiced in ages.  I would like to start it up again, but we would need a) a place to play and b) possibly a drummer.
As for the Screwballs - what can I say - we suck!  Not only did we end up 1-11 during the season, we lost our first two games in the double-elimination one-pitch tournament, bringing our franchise record in that yearly event to a whopping 0-10!

Hi mike,
  Thanks from teh brain dumps allways find them pretty fun. also glad to hear from you again. to remind you who this is it is jason andolina ;)

let me tell you what i've been up to in teh last year or so :) well had a kid and got a house of course still no real job makeing lesley work while i get to take care of my son. his name is thomas hunter. I have a ton of pics of him on my web site http://webpages.charter.net/jandolina ...
<non website related text deleted>
well lets see what else can i tell you? well simpley been up to alot of stuff i was working at filenes part time but now am working part time at best buy. been getting alot of electrical stuff with the discount there. I put i link to the smorgashbord on my site as well been pretty fun checking that out.
<non website related text deleted>

-jason

 First off, it's good to hear from you Jason.  (note to those of you who don't know Jason: He types as he thinks and refuses to use spellcheck - you'll have to excuse the spelling!).  Congrats on the kid!  He's a cutie.  Sounds like you got the life - send the wife off to work, and stay at home with the kid.  Working at Best Buy on the side to get discounts on all sorts of electronic shit (and DVDs!)...  I wonder if I could work out some deal like that...

oh, and thanks for reading the brain dumps, and checking the site!

PS - I added a link to your site on my friends page.

Hi there,

I just checked out your Horror site and thought it looked great!  We are working in conjunction with Lions Gate Films to promote a new horror movie called Godsend that comes out on April 30.  Godsend is a horror movie so I thought this promotion would definitely interest you.

All you will have to do is host an image on your site that links to the Godsend official site.
<text deleted>
...and please read below for a brief plot summary of the movie:

 After their young son, Adam (Bright), is killed in a freak accident, a couple (Kinnear, Romijn-Stamos) approach an expert (De Niro) in stem cell research about bringing him back to life through an experimental (and illegal) cloning and regeneration process. When Adam comes back to them, however, he's... different.

Nick Lezin
Project Manager
Buzztone, Inc.
 

All you Hollywood people think you can just bribe us little folk with promises of prizes and rewards, and you think we'll just bend over backwards to accommodate you.  Well, this is one horror fan who will do exactly that!  I'm honored you chose my site to host your image and link  (even though your letter seems very boilerplate, and I'm sure there were plenty of other sites who got such an email).

Hi there,

I just checked out your Horror site and thought it looked spackly!  I am doing the equivalent of "cold calling" for Lions Gate Films to promote a new horror movie called Codsend that comes out on April 30.  Codsend is a horrible movie so I thought this promotion would definitely interest you. Plus, this sure beats having to do gay porn. Now that would have been a real Codsend.

All you will have to do is host an image on your site that links to the Codsend official site.
http://www.tinklemyberries.com...and please read below for a brief plot summary of the movie:

 After their young son, Adam (Bright), is killed by his mutant zombie pet cod named Swimmy,  a couple (Kinnear, Romijn-Not-So-Stamosy) approach an expert named Professor Tinklebutts (Robert Yes-He'll-Do-Anything-Nowadays-For DeNiro). He is the world's leading sciencetician in stem cell research, and he offers to bring their creepy son back to life through an experimental (and illegal, not to mention, MOTHERFUCKING CRAZY) cloning and regeneration process. He plans on using tissue from fetuses he collects from dead whores. When Adam comes back to them, however, he's... different. It turns out, some of Swimmy's DNA was used in the process, as he was not only busy killing their son, but also scores of  whores. Killer codfish often do this, it's a natural evolution due to their environment. Anyways, now their son is a half-mutant-killer-cod-boy. And well, really, what are you going to do in that situation? Drink and get really shitfaced, that's what! Oh, and watch some gay porn.

Matthew Forrestall
Project Manager
Sprinkles the Moose.com
 

I guess I'd have to display this one as well - it's only fair, right?

Want to email me? Let me know what you think of my site?
Would you either like to kiss or kick my ass?
Let me know!

Back to Smorgasbord of Crappola