What is this Smorgasbord of Crappola, anyway?

What is the

???? Smorgasbord of Crappola is my home page. It's just a collection of all the crap that I wanted to put on the web. Some of it you might find entertaining, funny, weird, stupid, or enlightening. Good for you. I hope you do. It's definitely not for everyone. And I don't pull back many punches when it comes to this website... so there's a good chance you could get sick or upset, and if you do... then don't come back. For those of you with a warped sense of humor, welcome. Much of the stuff you'll find here will make you at least smirk. Enough about that... I'll break down the different sites within this site so that you can see what you're getting yourself into. Happy Surfing....

Sprinkles, the Psychotic Moose - Sprinkles the moose is a bizarre character that my friend Matt and I created in high school. We had fun drawing comics of this violent & crazy moose-man and a large supporting cast of nutty villains, useless superheroes, and lazy cops. Now it's time to take Sprinkles to the next level - the internet. What you'll find at this site are our old comics, character descriptions, and eventually cartoons, not to mention a bulletin board and a "store". Matt will also through some non-Sprinkles related stuff up on this site, but it's all pretty hilarious.

Defenders of Planet Earth (D.O.P.E.) - D.O.P.E. is a team of superheroes I created after the "success" of Sprinkles. They're a bunch of misfits with bizarre super-powers, really. For example, the leader of this team has the power to dismember any part of his body (no, it's not an X-rated comic), and his name is the Leper. Other team members are Saliva-Man, who spits acid, Coco, who is an indestructible coconut with arms & legs, and Watermelon-Man, who can make watermelons out of thin air (and no, he's not black... you racists!). It's goofy super-hero satire at its worst!

The Coming of Riley - Riley L. Martin is a unique individual, who some friends and I first discovered on late night episodes of Jerry Springer and Howard Stern back in college. He is a southern black man who wears a headband and sweats a lot (and has also been known for his run-ins with the law over some illegal substances). But what makes him "special" is that he claims he has been visited by aliens, and not only that.... he continues to be visited by the same aliens every 11 years... ever since he was 6 years old (he's now in his 50's). He has an interesting command of the English language, and quite an amount of back-up data for his stories. Oh, did I mention that he had sex with alien-human hybrids, and that his semen has "fountain of youth" properties?

SHIT - The SHIT site is my miscellaneous bin. All the stuff I want to throw up on the web that doesn't fit any of the other sites end up here. There's funny and bizarre shit I've gotten in emails, wacky pictures of me and friends (usually while drunk), strange characters from history and fiction, pictures of piss, shit, & puke and other disgusting and disturbing things. My infamous pictures taken while pissing are on this site, too.

People Are Strange... - This site is dedicated to strange and interesting characters from history, entertainment, fiction, real-life... wherever they may be found. The site gives some info on a bunch of different people, and then provides links where you could further quench your thirst for knowledge. The idea came when I got an email from my friend Bob describing the Aussie phenom from the 80's, Jacko. I had never heard of him, so Bob sent me some info and a few links. Since then I've added a bunch of other people... so read up! And if you have any suggestions for underrated, demented, peculiar or eccentric persons you'd like to see on the site, email me.

The Gallery - The Gallery is a site dedicated to my artwork. I like to think that I'm artistically talented (although that doesn't mean anyone else would), and I have created a few pieces of art using different media, so I wanted to at least display them online.... even if no one else ever saw them. I've got paintings, photographs, drawings, doodles/sketches, and altered pictures. Take a look & let me know what you think.

Hiking - This site provides pictures and stories from my hikes in the White Mountains. In the last few years, me and some friends from work have tackled a few of the mountains of NH. Hiking can be mentally relaxing and physically strenuous, and reaching the top gives you a sense of accomplishment, even if you do whine and moan all the way up. You'll see what we've seen on the trails and from the peaks.

Braindumps - You know when there's a few things on your mind... new stuff I've learned, opinions on pop culture or the world, ideas or dreams, insults, comments, jokes, whatever... and sometimes you just need to dump it all down. Well, this is a collection of those things, usually sent in emails, and saved here for posterity.

Screwballs - The Screwballs is my softball team from work. We pass the summer months with some hardly competitive games on the field and fairly competitive beer-swillin' in the parking lot. I'm the coach and statistician for the team, and what you'll find at this site are pictures and stats from our 3 years of play, and even our very own Hall of Fame.

Back to Main Page