(Copyright 2002. The Tattoo. All rights reserved.)
Making a permanent impression since 1994
June 20, 2002
-- Television review --
Superstar or stinko: the choice is yours on American Idol
By Mike Nguyen
the Fox's new American Idol is like
watching a conveyer belt of pop star wannabe's go through one door all shiny and
giggly, and out the other tearful and in obvious emotional distress.
hey, it's the most entertaining conveyor belt I've ever seen.
show's premise is half Big Brother,
thousands of tone-deaf idealists and crush them into depression with the most
unsympathetic and witty British person since Anne Robinson from Weakest
Link. His name is Simon Cowell.
me never to live in
back to the show, where Cowell and his two other judges, producer Randy Jackson
and 90s pop icon Paula Abdul, go city to city searching for the next big thing.
in search of the next solo artist that will hit it big in the States instantly.
very few are singing the tunes of Christina and Britney. Most of the songs are
classics and are older than the young teenage performers the show is looking
dispenses harshest judgments:
have no talent.”
a lawyer and sue your voice teacher."
the crowd favorite: "That was just awful.”
are only the kindest of Cowell's quips on the performers' appearance, voice and
it's harsh, but it makes for some great entertainment -- and never it's far from
the hook, but American Idol is so much
judges, for the first few episodes, narrowed it down to 30 bright hopefuls, and
ten by ten, they competed for a spot in the Final Ten.
do they get it?
by us, the viewers.
Tuesday, contestants sing their little hearts out for a minute or two, and then
face the arduous task of facing the judges and taking their criticisms.
the power is in the viewing audience, and at the end of each show, they vote for
who they like the most.
are announced on Wednesday.
final ten will live together and again perform each week to beg desperately for
votes, because the contestant with the fewest votes from viewers will be gone
from the game each week until there's only one American Idol left singing.
are toll free, so viewers can vote as much as you like.
show is a copycat of the British show Pop
Idol, in which Cowell was infamously involved as a judge.
only did the winner, Will Young, win the contract under Cowell's BMG record
company, but so did runner up Gareth Gates.
from the Final Ten have been signed or are close to getting a deal themselves.
Young and Gates have giant record-breaking hit records in
received more phone votes in the short two hour span after his final performance
than the Conservative Party received in
is looking for the same success.
far, American Idol is growing in viewership and it's only on its second
mean, who wouldn't be entertained in hearing their favorite classics sung by
some fresh young talent.
you don't, you'll be sure to like "Nasty Simon's" remarks.
the contestants get better, his mouth only gets sharper, critiquing everything
from their choice of clothing, song and appearance, their singing ability,
posture, breathing … anything and everything he can get his mouth on.
funny, in a sad way.
can't help but feel bad for some of the contestants, but, hey, it's brutal
are no Survivor twists, or The Mole
sabotage, just pure talent and looks.
in the end, it not only going to be a great and successful series, but more than
one successful recording artist will come out of it.
if you have a slow summer night midweek, catch American
Idol, airing at
on Tuesdays and on
Standard Time) on Fox.
it while it's still early, and don't miss any of the potential superstars,
because if a ugly, no-talent kid becomes the next Madonna or Elvis, you have no
one to blame but yourself.
RETURN TO THE TATTOO HOME PAGE