(Copyright 2000. The Tattoo. All rights reserved.)

The Tattoo

--- Making a Permanent Impression Since 1994 ---

September 11, 2000

Everything you ever wanted to know ... about boys

By Natalie Minor

The Tattoo

So you're about to begin high school. We all know what the
first thing on your mind is. Don't try to hide it -- everyone
knows what you're thinking about. You've been anticipating
this day since you graduated from eighth grade, and perhaps
even sooner.

If you're a boy, you're out of luck. But if you're a girl, watch
out -- you are about to become prey.

I remember my first day at Bristol Eastern High School very
well. I was in awe. I had just gotten out of middle school,
full of prepubescent boys who still made farting sounds and
had scrawny chicken legs.

Suddenly, I was surrounded by these visions:  upperclassmen.
It seemed they were all tall, athletic, bleached-blonde
Abercrombie models. Some of them even had cars.

Of course, my friends and I were flattered by all the attention
we received from them. Before long, the freshmen girls had
abandoned all of their middle school crushes and were on to
bigger and better things.

Freshmen guys, realizing that older girls didn't have much of
an interest in them, sat around and waited for next year,
when they could prey on the new class.

After all, why not? To them, you're innocent, you're sweet,
you want to be cool -- basically, they'll assume you're an
easy catch.

I'm not saying that all high school males are bad. In fact,
most of them are pretty nice guys. But we both know that
they simply don't know any better.

They see girls that are easily taken advantage of and they

Take, for example, the epidemic that occurred this year. All
of the guys in the sophomore class had previously been
neglected. Therefore, they didn't waste any time making ties
with the frosh.

This doesn't mean that these girls wouldn't receive any
attention without the freshmen hype. I'm sure that regardless
of their timing, guys would have liked them.

I simply mean that they see new girls just as we saw new
boys the year before and go crazy. There seem to be so many
of you, all innocent to the ways of high school boys.

It's understandable; they had been ignored by most of the
girls in the school for so long that they couldn't pass up the

In any case, consider this a warning. It's a trend that moves
on to every incoming class. You can't avoid it any more than
you can resist it, but make sure you don't let yourself be

I'm simply saying that you need to be aware of the moves
that will inevitably be put upon you.

Don't let yourself be as innocent as they think you are. Play
with their minds, manipulate them, and use them just as
much as they will use you.

Most importantly, be nice to upperclassmen girls.

You don't want them on your bad side any more than you
want a vengeful ex-boyfriend. Older girls are annoyed by
little girls who think they are the center of attention. Even if
you are, even if the hottest guy in the junior class is calling
you every night, never, ever act like you are better than the
girls that are his friends. They’ll hate you, and you’ll
probably pay for it later.

Consider yourself warned. All you need to do is remember
these things:

1) Upperclassmen guys are fun. They are not gods. There is a
reason why they can't get any girls their own age.

2) Don't neglect the freshmen guys. You're going to need a
senior prom date eventually.

3) It's better to have upperclassmen girls on your side, not
against you. They can make your life a living hell.

4) The most obvious: Don't let yourself be used. The last
thing you need is a reputation in your first year of high
school. It could stick with you throughout the next three

Keeping all these things in mind, have a good time in the
years to come. You will learn a lot, love a lot, and be hurt a
lot ...  if you’re lucky.

Just know that you'll be all set if you can handle the
upperclassmen guys.