(Copyright 2002. The Tattoo. All rights reserved.)
Making a permanent impression since 1994
June 16, 2002
-- Humor column --
By Sam Naishtat
Why don't I tell our readers a little bit about
Of course, I may not be the right person to ask, since my view is a little bit, well, biased.
See, originally, I'm from
When I was 8, my parents decided it would be a great idea to move.
I was the only one in the family against the idea. ("Sam, of course you have a say in whether or not we move! Oh, you don't want to go? Well, sucks to be you, go get packed!" … my loving family….)
After almost seven years, I am still in total culture shock.
I went from the land of sun, surfing and baseball to the land of sun, sun, sun, SUN, SUN, SUN, SUN, football, "huntin'," SUN, SUN and SUN.
That, actually, is a good measure of the
"Gee, Mitch, since we're big and our skulls are 18 inches thick, let's run into people and try to make them fall down!"
"Hey, good idea,
Now, don't get me wrong.
Football is a good sport, like any other sport. However, in
In the pros (and probably in every other state in the
country) they formulate strategies and plays to help overpower the opposition.
Here's another thing about
What other state decided it would be a good idea to name
people after their state? (Let's keep in mind that the Mary in
You don't live in
You don't visit
"Oh, he's fine, how's your
“Oh, he's great, it's little
That conversation would never take place.
Yes, it can be found in any truck dealership in the state.
You should see these commercials:
"We have trucks so durn big and strong, it's fit for a Texan!"
"These trucks are perfect for drivin' all across our Promised Land!"
Part of the arrogance of Texans spawns from the fact that
they are convinced that
Also, they're convinced
Well, I hope I didn’t get too carried away.
There's just no changing these Texans.
They just have an ineptitude for learning.
My only hope is to move away when I graduate from high
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