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Friday, June 08, 2001

over a year since last entry. lived in beachwood, NJ last summer (mom's house). in spet '00 rented the 2nd floor of a house on the beach in manasquan, nj. a run down summer rental, had to put plastic wrap on the windows to reduce the draft. the beach was fun, especially in the fall. the ocean was fascinating to experience thru all seasons.
now we live in a house we purchased in april '01. house is ~100yrs old located in NJ on a bluff above the delaware river. kids are doing great. son is coming into his own, struggling to move out of his sister's shadow. daughter is doing well and talking up a storm. if only she would sleep thru the night!
went to manhattan today for a gis symposium. saw jules lowef of parsons-brinkerhoff. he looks the same as when i interviewed w/ him nearly a year ago. good presentation about NYCDOT's spatial data warehouse. now it is clear that i should stay hands on. that's how i think! these big projects are only interesting to me as a technical challenge. project management is too boring and i really don't care about bringing the groups together to make a project work. to be honest, i'm not that good at it either.
walked in a square from MSG/penn station to the meeting. afterwards, up to 42nd street to times square. saw the mtv offices. amazing how many people are squeezed onto that island. thank you to the current fashion trend of women's pants being so tight and shear.
city was kinda exciting today but i'm drained. fat too. out from under the haze of alcohol today. my perception is so much cleareer. more focused on living the day than merely getting thru it. booze, like most systems, is self perpetuating. tonight will be a true test though. Z family and older sistah w/ her offspring, both current and past.
don't know how to deal with older sistah but its now to the point where i can barely stand to be in her presence. gotta figure a way to coexist.

Thursday, June 07, 2001

Angel and the gin and the beast within

its hot and i've been sweatin' most of the day. this is especially irritating and pronounced now that i'm outta shape.

train ride up this morning reminded me of my first train ride: Down to UVA. i was scared. mostlybecause i'd never been on a train, didn't like UVA, was very timid and had zero confidence. much anxirty could have been avoided if i'd simply been on a train or away from home before. want to make sure the kids are exposed to as much as possible.

wonder if i need to keep away from alcohol completely. no more forever. not sure if that's practical.

people in israel are killing each other today. those dying are average citizens going about their average lives. terrorism might be as bad as war. we're lucky to live in america where political differences are settled by balots and not bullets.

in NJ, i love the burbs, in OR the city is best.

this entry was typed in on 12/08/2004. entry is originally hand written in small, black, spiral bound notebook. for some reason, at the office late tonigh and happened to pick this notebook off the shelf. this entry could have been written today. statements about terrorism are esp scary in this pre 9/11 reflection.