Drink Report: Last night has first drink around 8pm. Felt later since the clocks were turned back the night before. Polished off the 12 year scotch from the year before. Hurting really badly today. I'm so behiond on sleep since Friday night.

Drink Report: Friday night had a few beers while at dinner at the Olive Garden w/ wifey. We sat at the bar as always and had dinner. Love their salad. Bar is usually not crowded and hence our choice to sit there. No waiting and faster service from the bartender. My "Maximizer" father would be proud. That night, as soon as we sat down, the bar was full. Seems the cooler weather had people waiting for tables at the bar rather than outside as in the summer.
Stopped at Joe Canal's Liquor store on the way home to get some booze. Bought a great 12 year scotch as treat. Called The Dalmore , i sipped up half the bottle that friday night. was pretty toasted and stayed up till 2am. Was dragging on Saturday but not really hung over. Just very tired toward the afternoon. Had a few beers through out the evening and 1 dalmore scotch. Wasn't really into a scotch mood so figured i'd save it.
Wanted to buy a bottle of that fancy scotch that wifey's Dad likes to have when he comes over to help w/ the kitchen next week. He likes Macallan's. I thought we were buying the 12 year old for $34.00. Didn't realize at the time but instead we bought the 18 year old version for $90! Holy crap.

Realizing that i spend my time and energy worrying about things. Keep the cars maintained, fix the house, setup the computers, etc. Drives me crazy when others do not pay attention to their things. Now i see that things are not of real importance. Worrying about things is an expression of selfishness. People are most important. Think about people first and things second.

When one is dead, is anybody going to care about the tings they have cared for in their lives. Things can be sacred but only if they represent something larger, usually like a relationship.

Kinda stalled on getting a new Truck. Kitchen cabinets are costing much more than we expected and i just feel like i do not deserve a new truck. i'd feel less extravagant simply getting a used Honda Civic or Accord. I just need something w/ bullet proof reliability.

Drink report:

Off today and drank a bunch of Flying Fish XPA last night. the beer isn't that good for a pale ale but selection at the Liquor Barn was slim. No hangover but no motivation either. Daughter eneded up in our bed again lst night and I think that hurst my sleep. I wake up many, many times either cuz she is kicking me or cuz i fear rolling over on her. Same when son sleeps in our bed and especially the other night when the Dachshund did.

Woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. Almost vomited right there. Kept it down and took some antacid. Took a couple of antacids today as well. Seems large amounts of beer do that to me. Couple it w/ eating alot of food and look out.

Picked up the kayak today. can't wait to take it out. $400 + $16 + $50 = $466 + tax. All new items would have been nearly $750! Nice.

Spent 15 minutes on the Total Gym apparatus. 2nd time i've used it in a week and i kinda like it.

Drink Report:
several beers last night but no hangover. Today. Friday night, same thing, picked up a case of Sam Adams' Octoberfest, a complete disappointment. Thursday night, got into the vodka, as there was nothing else to drink. First, step-bro and I went to Friday's, a vodka road soda, to eat and had a few beers. Once I got home, had a couple more strong vodka and cokes. Was shaky and self conscious on Friday at work for an AM demo. By the afternoon was cruising and felt normal.

did visit paint island kayaks on Wednesday. Got some good info from the guy about kayaking in general. He had a rental boat that he would sell me. Ended up getting a used Old Town Twin Otter from Jersey Paddler yesterday. A great deal at $400 + $16 for a couple of scratched up, used paddles. Nice paddles tho.

some neighborhood kids came over today and ended up having a kid play hour in my yard. Son and daughter were loving it. They were the youngest ones there and I was proud of them for not being intimidated.

Oscar, our 3 month old dachshund puppy, escaped from the yard yesterday afternoon. We didn't even notice until about 7:15pm due to miscommunication. wifey and auntie distributed flyers all over town this morning and sure enough, 2 people called that had Oscar. We got him back and gave each family $50 as out flyer promised a reward.

Bad news. My sister has a tumor or cyst inside her skull! Near where the back of your neck meets the base of your skull, on the right hand side. We do not anymore details but she expects to be undergoing further testing this week. She is 38. If Cuba-geigy is to blame I will flip. Truth is, there is no way to ever know. Sister is being so brave. My mom is a nervous wreck, however. Mom. you see, recently retired from being an operating room nurse for nearly 30 years.

take in all the beauty


This post is an email from a friend responding to an email I sent him back on Sept 21, 2003. This entry was actually typed in on Oct 06, 2005 and back dated to the original correspondence. That original email is posted as the entry for Sept 21, 2003.

Dear O Long Winded One,

Mucho to respond to from your email, but due to time restraints won't be able to say everything I want to. Anywayz, first, I've been wanting to read Fast Food Nation for a while now but haven't got around to it. My second response is re. what you said about "neolithic societies." While traveling through SE Asia, we saw what happens to those people when they buy into the ways of Western "civilization," and then what happens when what they were given is suddenly ripped away. During the 90s, SE Asia saw unprecedented growth. It was boomin'. Money was pouring in from manufacturing and tourism, the result of global prosperity (except for in Africa), and then the bottom dropped out.

Now these people, who had adapted to modern ways and left their antiquated ways far behind, are left in a state of hunger and desperation, angry at being tricked by some invisible economic machine into thinking that money would take care of all their problems back then and for evermore. To give you some specific examples of what I mean, they threw away their bicycles and bought brand new mopeds and cars. Now their vehicles are falling apart, roads are in disrepair, the smog in cities is intolerable, "luxury buses" advertised in travel brochures are old and fucked up.

They built new hotels and apartment buildings. Now these structures are falling apart, too. Public services put in place to cope with the growth spurt, such as sanitation and public safety services, are now barely keeping pace or are completely inoperable.

Those who left their villages for the city are now scrounging and begging for money. Tourists, as soon as they step off their luxury buses, are hounded and surrounded by dozens of people who were making it rich in the tourist industry, yet who now are forced to beg for business. And the natives can't go back to what they were doing before because home is too far away and there's no money there either. There's no money anywhere. The whole infrastructure that emerged is crumbling.

SE Asia and Africa are sad, beautiful places, and I guess what I'm trying to say is that you're right. Who can resist it when gold and TV and Carmen Electra are dangled in one's face? But it was all just a big, plastic pipe dream of false promises, and now that the natives have awoken, they find that they're left with nothing but smog, broken machines, and rubble.

A lot of tourists do still go to Asia because it's so cheap. But they do more damage than good. There's an island off the coast of Thailand, Ko Pha-Ngan, where monthly full moon parties are held. Thousands of tourists get all lit-up on the beach and party till dawn. In the morning, the tide comes in and washes tons of plastic cups and bottles away.

Many of what were some of the most beautiful beaches in the world are now ruined. When we went to Mexico, it was the same deal - we couldn't even take a walk on the beach because of all the raw sewage strewn across it. Governments and tourists, who at first were treated like gods (and who oftentimes still are treated this way), together with locals, are quickly destroying all the remaining paradises of our world.

We went to an exhibit at the Whitney Museum a couple a months back. There were some photos of a beach in China, where instead of shells, the beach is covered as far as the eye can see in black and red and blue plastic buttons from computers and electronic gadgets. Behind the beach there are mountains of keyboards and other peripherals. The natives there are poisoning their ground water, the result of their burning motherboards to get the tiny amount of gold contained within out to collect and sell.

And that's it. There's no turning back. It will never get any better, only worse. The only good thing is that there are kids in Ao Nang and Kho Sok and Pai running around playing Radiohead on their guitars and singing the lyrics in Thai. Art is the only good thing that comes of it all, and art realistically and sadly cannot save the world.

But Biko always feels that he must find the silver lining, which is always and will always be there. What it comes down to is what you said, "Think globally, act locally." We gotta make the most of what we still got. Gotta take in all the beauty still around us, beautiful NJ, beautiful Hawai'i, beautiful Kentucky, beautiful lady. In Perry's immortal words, gotta treasure all "the world's riches."

Huggida

Well, made it to bed w/o any drinks. gonna get some coffee as i am dragging a little bit. kids are at gym class w/ wifey. hope to go out and do some errands.

No drinks last night. Felt great today. Beautiful fall weather and i was rearing to go. Felt like working out if i wasn't at work all day. Actually, come to think of it (enter other cliches, here), i did 10 pushups this morning before hitting the shower. that's right, i'm getting in shape! yeah...

So am off tomorrow and the weather looks up in the air. haven't told anyone yet. might sneak off like going to work and then go do some errands. want to check out toyota tacomas and also kayak's at Paint Island Kayaks in Bordentown. Wondering if i can get a beginner, 2 seater kayak w/ a seat that slides to the middle for solo paddling. also, the boat should be able to handle the chop and large boat wakes of the delaware river in these parts. that may be alot to ask of a boat but i gotta ask.

the challenge for tonight is whether to drink or not. have lots of reading material but no interest in reading it. intense day at work today and brain is a bit mushy. Tempted to plop in front of the tube and make a vodka and anything. Also, as stated, tomorrow is an off day so could drink some today. though, having the day off and in good spirits, i.e. no hnagover, could be a great thing. Oh the willpower.

kids and i did 3 jack-o-lanterns tonight. small pumpkins that the kids gor from their preschool field trip to the pumpkin patch. Daughter has simba from lion king and son has the Hulk. The faces were very simple but the kids seemed satisfied that they resembled their characters of request. Son was lovin the candle light inside the jack-o-lantern. Ohh spooky.

Got my copy of Red Hat Linux 9 Unleashed in the mail today from A1 Tech Books. Saved $15 off of Border's brick and mortar price. Also have Tom Brown, Jr.'s The Vision.It is a bit preachy and haven't devoured it as quickly as The Tracker or The Way of the Scout. Wifey also brought me The Farmer's Almanac. Not sure if there is anything in that worth reading tonight. The glorius mailman also brought this week's issue of Time magazine. Like i said though. Not much motivation to read any, right now.

Kidney stones feel like they were bothering me. No nuts this week and cutting down on coffee a little bit. Wonder if fatty foods contribute to kidney stones? If they do, i am in trouble!

I figure, if i keep typing, i will not have to make the choice of vodka or no vodka. This sucks.

Just heard part of an NPR interview w/ Carol Burnett. Always watched her show as a kid tho i never liked it much. Anyway, both of her parents died of alcoholism! Hope i can heard off this habit before that happens to me...

Went to see Fishbone last night at Don Hill's in SoHo last night. Think I last saw Fishbone in 99 in SouthEast Portland somewhere. Had a great time tho they did not go until 1am! Surprised myself and did some moshin' w/ the cordial crowd. had nothin for dinner and puked as soon as we stepped outside on our way home. Felt much better and has some White Castles on the way home.

Nice to see Mandela and his wifey and Mendela's friend Rich whom I partied w/ back at Raven.

Got home at 4:30am. Feel groggy today and ears are slightly ringing despite using paper in them at the club.

Seems i have alot of work to do to get the house ready for Thanksgiving. We are having the entire family over, you see. And the kitchen wall needs to fibnished, floors laid down and molding and plaster done. Unfortunately, i know nothin about any of these skills. Wish i could somehow get credit for the apache linux web server that iam building. One day it will host this blog, if i can figure out a free DNS alternative...

Drink Report:
Countless beers last night. Headache this morning that is now just starting to fade. I simply didn't drink enough water last night. Throughout the evening, I was aware of this fact yet didn't do anything to correct it.

No other hangovers Tuesday thru Thursday. Stuck to beer for the most part. Monday night did have a couple of vodkas before going to grocery store. Came home w/ a case of RiverHorse IPA. finished the last bottle last nioght. Last night picked up a case of American Pale Ale.

At the crab shack w/ wifey and the kids and niece last night. Ran into a couple that are we haven't seen in a year or so. The wife is the sister of one of my fraternity brothers.
Did that 2nd presentation on Thursday. Seemed to go well and got alot of compliments. However, there were a number of sleepy eyed folks in the audience. 1 presentation next week and then another on Halloween. Wnat to take this presentation and also a companion about the technical architecture on the conference circuit this year. Have to write an abstract and start submitting it.

Drink Report:
sunday night had 1 tiny vocka and ice tea. Then about 6 beers. In bed had some great lovin as the wifey was so wet i thought that she was going to melt!

Felt fine this morning. Seems that my unconscious goal is merely not be hung over in the morning.

Oh yeah. the presentation that I did Wednesday morning went well. I have been asked to do 2 more on the same topic to different audiences.

Drinking Report:
Last night, Friday 10/3/03, had 3 beers. In bed before 11pm. Picked up a case of Stoudt's American Pale Ale. One of my favorites. Feel fine this morning.

Thursday night, 10/2/03, drank much. 4 or 5 Sam Admams' Octoberfests followed by 2, much too strong, vodka and sprite. Got to be around 11:30pm and felt a little groggy in the morning. That wore off by lunch.

Wednesday night, 10/1/03. I think that I had 3 or 4 beers but that was it. Stayed up to midnight watching Third Watch. Having difficulty remembering the details of Wednesday night. Not because I was wasted but because all of the nights just seem to blur together. They are all the same. Even last night, "Date Night", we stayed in and sat on the freakin couch. Wifey again was too worn out by the kids to go to dinner or the bookstore or any other lame activity.

Oh yeah, forgot the drinking report for the past couple of nights.
Tuesday night, 9/30/03 (Last night): 2 beers. Was so full from pigging out on pizza that i didn't even have room. Next morning no ill effects. Got to bed before 11pm.

Monday night, 9/29/03: 7 beers stretched over the night. Had sleeping problems as mentioned yesterday. Felt good the next morning, other than the lack of sleep. Good meaning that there were no hang over feelings BUT wasn't rearing to go, either.

Sunday night, 9/28/02: 2 beers. Felt great the next morning. Fired up to take on the world. so this is sobriety.

Today is a little crazy at work. Tomorrow morning I hafta do a presentation in front of 30 people about a project (an improved website) we have been working. As usual, I have waited to the last minute to prepare. This makes me tense! It is difficult to fend of the demands of the day to make time to prepare a presentation. I would like to simple perform a demonstration on the fly using a live internet connection. However, who hasn't been burned in a demo when your internet connection fails? Gotta have a backup slide show.

Maybe I should present this site at the big annual user's conference next summer.. Need to start touting my professional accomplishments more if I am to move into bigger positions. Need to write journal articles, whitepaers and conference presentations.

Over the last five years, I have done some pretty cool technical work in my field but only and handful of my immediate colleagues know about it. I fear that I may end up being like an colleague of mine who is one of the best in his field, yet nobody knows about him. Therefore, he is destined to be stuck in his current position. Perhps he likes it that way but not. I'm not a bad man, just ambitious.*

*Jeff Beck.