Its been 1 full year of sobriety. I wonder if i will be sober FOREVER or will find a way to co-exist w/ alcohol. It is such a pervasive part of our culture. All I can say is that right now, I cannot touch the stuff for fear of sliding back into the abyss. Best course is to take "one day at a time" other wise it is kinda overwhelming.

wifey's last day at her job was today. she will be focusing on her home business now in addition to motherly and home maker duties. she is very happy since she gave her notice to her employer last friday. i am all for it though i hope her business picks up. the eBay dependent business model that worked over a year ago is now not as viable (we see the hard way) as their is much more competition from similar items and sellers these days. I am just the techie that can do the website stuff. I'm not trolling thru eBay all day every day to spot selling opportunities. Maybe she should tho.

As mentioned in a previous post, I am desperate to leave my job. Options are slim for a new position given my requirements for slalry, niche professiona and reluctance to relocate or endure a lengthy commute.

Still dry. Feb 23 will be my one year anniversary of putting down the bottle. In that time i had a few ips of champagne at an occasion where it would have been rude not to do so.

Big shkeup at work on Thursday, I finally realized that I must leave and find a new job. I've had my eyes open for better opportunities actively since June 2004. However, I felt that the work I do is important at the state and really did not want to leave, despite the bullshit and gradual squeezing by upper management. I'll hafta write more on this subject laer. The kids are waiting for me you see.

I am in the dining room and they have laid out a trail of pumpkin seeds, which I love to eat, on the fllor, up the stairs into my bedroom where the lie in wait. I think they are going to pounce on me and hope to play that family favorite activity, "Tickle Monster".

An email to Mom...

hi mom,

wifey is much better today. kids seem fine. i had a heck of a headache most of the day, perhaps from too may sugary sweets the day before. i did grocery shopping and went over to the tenants' unit to check on some repairs they need taken care of.

wifey and the kids and gma went to the book store and came home w/ books for everyone, even babyG and even me. I got The Great Game by Peter Hopkirk, about the European nations meddling in the middle east in the 1700s, 1800s and early 1900s. lots of lessons there for the bush administration.
have to go back to 104(our rental unit) tomorrow morning then maybe take the kids somewhere. am off to bed.

xo

An email to my Mom...

Daughter is fine today, wifey is not feeling well however. i'm off today, state holiday. so i get to be house daddy for the boys today.

kids r sleeping over gma's 2nite. Very windy here, beginning last nite.
babyG was up alot last night and so were both wifey and I. This morning,
sonR(oldest son, now 5) and I will be shipping out a roman shade order for wifey. This 1 goes to a woman in Bellevue, WA. I've been there, its a suburb of Seattle. She paid 30% over the asking price!

We have another (roman) shade listed on eBay this week too. The auction for it ends on Monday night.

xo

An email to my Dad...

Hi Dad,

I received your emails that we sent out together this afternoon. This weekend was a busy one for our house. Wifey andbabyG worked all day at her Mom's house finishing a bedroom ceiling while I had daughter and sonR. I took them to Mom's in the afternoon so they could stay for a sleepover. AJ and cousinB came over for a while too.

Wifey and I went to a movie last night, The Aviator, while Gma, watched babyG. This morning I got the kids from Mom's and wifey got babyG from Gma's house. Then off to your house this afternoon while Kel did some shopping w/ the 3 kids and then to her Dad's house for dinner.

I'm alone at home and the quiet is kind of nice.

Go Eagles.

Love me

+++++++++++++++++++++++
(this part added on 2/13/05 9am, at the time of posting)

Funny that I end it w/ "Go Eagles". I really don't give a flying F____ about pro football. I just put this in because I knew that Dad was going to watch the game and was all into it. Actually, since the Eagles are the local team, the football hysteria around here has been very, very over the top. People are work are talking non-stop, wearing their hideous Eagle jerseys to the office, the radio and TV are all about Eagles this and Eagles that. I am not 1 to crap on another's jollies but does the Eagles' mania have to be so intrusive to those of us who prefer to waste time in different ways?

I have secretly wished they Birds would lose so that the Eagles' Mania would evaporate. I felt guilty about this until a co-worker of mine expressed that very sentiment. We now know that my secret wish was granted. Oh thank you powers of reason.

I've been struggling w/ the idea of bringing my kids up in this urban part of the country where it is very difficult to spend time outdoors in nature. Also, our neighborhood isn't the most intellectually challenging environent for inquiring minds. I know this sounds snooty but I want my kids to aspire and wonder about more things than football and pickup trucks.

The Philly Eagles are in the super bowl, playing tomorrow. I don't watch football and couldn't care less but there are so many football lunatics around here. Can't wait till its over. I almost hope the Eagles lose so I don't have to hear anymore about it.
I need to make some fucking friends... I'm pretty bored these days.
In a funk today, feeling kinda downish and lonely... Self doubt.
Need to make a job change... Ugh, this sounds pretty pitiful but here it is.