I have come to realize that I might be pushing my 7 yr old son too hard. Through conversations with my wife, I think that I may be trying to make him into someone that he is not. Since I was a shy, awkward kid, didn't play sports, uncomfortable in my own skin. I always felt akward around other boys or men cuz I felt that I did not know how to play sports or how to interact. (I can blame this on my absentee father, sometimes I do.)
I am hoping to help my son avoid these situations by exposing him to sports and guy stuff. He isn't really taking to the sports though. One can see his panic when kids at school want to play baseball and he does not know how. At home, I will try to take him out and play these sports with him but they are usually a chore for him and he resists. to be honest, playing popular sports is a chore for me too. I suspect (i realize i am using poor sentence structure and beginning every sentence w/ the word "I" but i have only a few minutes to get this thought down before having to get ready for work!) that my attitude, it is a chore, of "practicing" these s[ports (soccer, baseball, basketball, kickball) is readily apparent to him. it is almost impossible to fool your kids when your feelings are not aligned with your actions. If he doesn't see thru me, then he is probably confused and associating my tension w/ these sports. Another negative.

I want to help him but maybe I am hurting his self esteem. Maybe I am trying to change him into something that he is not. He has activities that he likes to do such as biking, rollerblading and hiking (thank the heavens). maybe that should be good enough. However, I worry about him being in thopse situations that I was always in of complete and utter humiliation and fear cuz i did not know how (still don't) to play football and had zero interest in it at school. football still haunts me a little as a grown up but i just don't care that much anymore. living in this blue collar town, football, for example, is pretty big and it will be difficult for a boy to grow up here w/o being able to play and understand the game.

I guess that i am also thinking of the benefitrs of playing to sports. as he grows, sports help set a healthy lifestyle, raise one's self esteem as you accomplish things that you did not think you could and helps socially. you make friends w/ your teammates and may improve your all important social standing in later school years if a boy is a decent athlete. I imagin that girls are burdened with a similar (no tirades please ladies) issue regarding physical appearance.

Maybe all of these concerns are just parental protectiveness. Maybe I just need to encourage what he likes and is interested in. As a parent, I feel that I can help influence his life for the better by exposing him to these activities. So that he can avoid the pain that I felt as a kid. I feel that I may be off track here and actually damaging him by gentlyg him to do these things that he has little interest in. Pat of my justification is that he backs away immediately from a sport if he does not know how to play (won't try) or thinks that he is not "good enough". I think he is scarred from having to compete w/ his older sister who is a natural athlete and 1 yr older.

I guess what I would like to see is for him to be confident to play whatever sports he comes across. And to maybe find one or two that he enjoys and is good at. At this age, I feel that now is the time to expose him to sports so that he can begin to gain confidence. I started late, not joining the cross country team (nerd) until 7th grade.

I do not want to change him but just help him.