NOTE: this a venting session for me. This post does not include any of the "yay, horay, i am mad but going to pretend that I am not, I am hurt by your actions but going to find a nice way to express it, feminist, no balls, wishy washy, have a great day, everything is good, look on the bright Abraham-Hicks side" bullshit. I am pissed and letting it out here, in my anonymous blog that nobody reads anyway.

Shit, just got back from a lame camping trip. The 3 kids had fun but sucked for me. The most fun that I had was the 7 minutes of stolen time on which I rode my bike back from the bathrooms and toured the campground a little.

wifey came along. She is 8 months pregnant and uncomfortable. However, her attitude killed the trip for me. I had been looking forward to this 2 night, adventure trip w/ the kids. I also was prepared to take them myself but she wanted to come along. At first, sounded great to me. wifey has always fun in camping and on my outdoors adventures. she has always been very laid back, low maintenance, willing to try adventures and fun. Not on this trip. she was very controlling of all situations. If she had simply said, 'you know what, I am pregnant and feel like chilling at the campsite, you guys go ahead", that would have been great. However, that was not the case, she demanded control by whining and cajoling. Sucked.

i lugged the kayak w/ all gear, we did not use it despite a class II rapids and a class I rapids right at our doorstep. I brought the kids bikes, daughter did not touch hers, son a little bit but we did not all ride together at all. i brought fishing poles for the 2 older kids. We did not touch them. sucked. sucked. sucked. the life is being sucked the fuck out of me this pregnancy. i think that she is unaware of what a controlling stick in the mud. you are pregnant wife, not the rest of the world. the world goes on.

also, i think she is adopting the attitude of her lazy family. the attitude of "why do something, when you can do nothing?". Never been my attitude. Never was hers either. I like to go, to explore, to wander, to check things out and maybe have some fun or gain insight along the way. At 37 w/ the kids, a 4th on the way, a mortgage, minivan and full time job, I don't get to do much of the above period. But here family just likes to sit and watch the world go by. sit on your ass with a drink and cigarette and talk, talk, yak, yak, yak about nothing. That is fucking exhausting if you ask me.

complicated the entire thing, doubling my amount of packing, unpacking, retrieving stuff to then pack. She also barely packed anything at all and then would piss me off by shining that we did not have paper plates or some little nonsense thing. She could have packed it. I got every thing else planned and executed, tho barely.

I will not be inviting her on any adventures for a long time. Even after the new baby is here and she has physically recovered. It seems that the outdoors if something that we no longer share. It is a shame. But I refuse to give up. If i have to continue to take the kids on outdoor camping, kayaking, hiking trips by myself, then so be it. I really have been taking them by myself all along any so no difference.