My post on 6/14/07 makes the statement that I do not want to be a consultant. That is largely true. However, after giving it some significant thought, I have come across an important distinction.
The 2 things that really sucked about being an IT consultant is:1) Only being on projects for a small time or for a specific task. Rarely do you get to "own" the project, the client does. Clients that I have dealt with rarely wanted to do any kind of interesting work. Interesting work goes a long way.
2) Enough work is never enough. As the goal is to make $$, the faster you complete a project, the more projects that you can juggle simultaneously and the more project sales that you can close, the better. There never was a line of "enough" work or projects or sales because doing these 3 things meant more $$ for the company. The whole enterprise is driven by a subdued form of greed.
This greed started to appear very ugly in my mind over the last year or so of my consulting time. The work was boring and unmotivating on its own, most of my team members were of an efficient mechanical sort, and the harder that I worked, the more $$ that I made for my boss and the company owners. Twice a year I received a financial bonus (end of yr 3 or 4% ; half that in June). This $$ was nice but just wasn't motivating enough to slave away, high stress (I hate sales so that is always high stress for me)for the rest of the year. In fact, in my last 12 months at the company, I brought in 20% of the work and keep in mind that my title was not that of a sales person. But I brought in 20% or ~ $425,000, way more than enough to cover my costs to the company. This level of sales took a significant amount of effort from me in writing proposals, dealing with clients and kissing their asses in the hopes that they hire my services. This effort was above my nearly 100% billable time of 40 hrs per week. (I know that many many folks put in way more hours than I, but going beyond 45 or so impacts my ability to be the type of Dad for my kids that I want to be.) Yet in June 2007, bonuses were not given out as the company "was not doing that well". Than why did I bother to expend the extra effort to make all of those project sales if I don't get rewarded? This is a business and it is all about money, right? Well then, where the hell is my piece of the $425k?
So, of course, it comes down to money. how much $$ will it take for me to work those extra hours, do the sales work that I despise and bust my ass working more hours? The bonus and salary and company vehicle at my last job were not enough. Also, working for that company would have been OK if I was not aware of the alternative employment options or me. jobs in State government, other companies or even the non-profit world. Especially, in comparison that I now have nearly the same amount of compensation w/ no sales, much lower hours, lots of time off, work that I own and believe in and still have time and energy for the rest of my life each day.
So I think if I were doing some consulting for myself, the financial reward would be high enough to make it worthwhile. Since I would be directly benefit ting financially, my motivation goes way up. Even at a conservative hourly rate, with taxes taken out, I can make about 30% more per hour than working at my last corporate employer.
I am thinking of consulting in addition to my day job. Now, I can live off of my day job and any consulting $$ is purely gravy. So the pressure and stress to make the sales is much less.
Sales, then really becomes the issue. I need to get work in the first place. I am currently working my personal connections to make this happen. When I announced my job change a month or so ago, I had 3 people ask me if I would be interested in doing some outside consulting work. 1 or possibly 2 are really real opportunities. I'll have to work these and see what happens. GIS is pretty much a niche of IT and the opportunities are hard to find.

I am working from home today. It is kind of nice to get some extra sleep and then make the LONG commute up to the 3rd floor loft.

Sometimes it is hot up here even at this time of morning but today I have the windows open and a glorious little breeze is coming in. The air is fresh and not yet muggy. It will get hot after lunch up here and I'll probably have to close the windows and turn on the a/c and circulating fan.

Since I am so high up, out the windows I see right into the tree tops and they riffle in the breeze. The chirps of the birds come in too.

It is such a nice morning. I am really glad to be working from home today.

I like my job though it involves sitting in an office all day. Glimpses of the beautiful outdoors are invaluable to me.

Going through some boxes of stuff in the closet of my home office, a.k.a. the Loft, I came a cross a poem that I had written when my Aunt Ruthie died. I believe that she passed away in June 2001, possibly on the 29th. Aunt Ruthie was my Father's sister. I only saw her once every few years as a kid and even less as an adult. Yet, I remember her as having a good sense of humor, quick wit and always smoking cigarettes. In fact, the smoking killed her, maybe it was emphysema. Her daughter, Breen died either just before or just after Aunt Ruthie. while I don't know the circumstances of Breen's death it was perceived by the family as tragic. Aunt Ruthie, had been sick for some time and was possibly in her 70s.

Upon moving back to NJ in June 2000, I learned that Aunt Ruthie was sick and living alone at an apartment in Lakewood, NJ. This was not far from Beachwood and Manasquan where we were living at the time. We had made plans to visit Aunt Ruthie a couple of times but never got to it for one lame reason or another. We were wrapped up in our immediate life w/ the kids and all.


I had spoken with both in the previous year as dad had just had his stroke. Dad had been managing some money for Breen and Aunt Ruthie (Ruth Moore) when he had his stroke. As I had taken control of his accounts, I helped them pull out their money. Tragically, dad had invested their money in high tech stocks which were taking a beating at the time during the dotcom bubble burst.

Aunt Ruthie's husband, Uncle Joe, died while I was a kid but I have fond memories of him. he was always giving hugs and would talk to us kids as if he saw us every day. Uncle Joe and Aunt Ruthie were both like that. Very accepting and loving.

One simple memory is sitting on the screen porch at the back of my Dad's house when I was 13 or so. He was hosting a family party w/ my Aunts and their kids and my sisters. the party was winding down and were sitting on the porch w/ Aunt Ruthie and maybe Jody or Breen (or both) and Aunt Ruthie was cracking us up w/ her jokes.

Say hi to Uncle Joe for us.

6/29/01

The hazy heat was oppressive that day.
Thick and stagnant, the breeze barely moved the leaves,
the day that I was told you had gone away.

Why is it that the sweetest must always go first?

The sadness was heavy and impenetrable as the evening descended.

Hugs that are warm, kisses sincere.

Do you remember the jokes that made us laugh,
on the back porch so many years past?

A flicker of light caught sight of my eye.
A glow had begun to arise into the night.
A million twinkling fireflies floated up through the sky.
I couldn't help it, my smile told me that you would always be there.