Remember the time... Stett stole that whole thing of Propel that the track meet cause I told him to That guy came into Taco Bell and threatened to kill us for making fun of his kids. The bridge.... That little girls' bike... We were hitting garbage cans and a car flipped... We outran the cops at Richmond Beach Schutt ran a 5:40 wearing leapord print boxers Schutt brought gay porn playing cards to school That one retarded house that hangs inflatable things "The Bitch" My mom fell down the stairs, and it was the funniest thing I've ever heard I convinced my mom PM meant Post Midnight When Hortin thought it said tornado instead of torpedo When Hortin mooned that guy and he tried to drive me off the road Whalen broke my screen door (You owe me a fucking screen door) Whalen ran into the mailbox full speed The Porn I have that 95% of the school has seen. The same Porn looks really funny with a Kids face on the girls That guy waited outside my house for 45 minutes Daulton drove through Taco Bell ordering two orders of Kick Ass Jens had like 50 people in his hot tub Jeff hung from my basketball hoop and we realized his feet are a foot long We played Jenga... We played Blackjack.... We played Malary.... I tinted one window... I've been pulled over 5 times One of which was for having 500 feet of Saran Wrap behind my car... The Cop called my cell phone I snuck out and by the time I came home it was light out Squirel boy came out of the closest and wanted to molest Doyle Doyle wished the Japanese had their own language Doyle wished that there were Three Thirds days Propane Potato Gun How we "acquired" the parts for the gun Plastic Jesus We roasted the plastic nativy scene lamb We roasted the huge Reindeer Homecoming where Gumby was doing a dog The time Hortin mooned everyone in Dicks and we realized two cops were sitting there The time utters....(WHY IS THIS ON HERE?) Doyle's birthday card from Taryn looked like it was made by a 4 year old Taryn said we were out of control Everyone were faggots and incouraged my mom to stay in my room Everyone were faggots and played magic The Bear suit on Animal Planet The sandhill crane....I hate you guys When Hortin walked around camp naked for 20 bucks Doyle actually paid Hortin 20 bucks to do it "Look there's girls and their doing stuff!" The Waitress at Denny's quit because it made her want to kill herself. Wilcox fought Doyle and Whalen.....and kicked their ass Doyle was waving at Nino and rear ended a car We were at Sam's and Doyle almost died twice Beasting "Heidi's Cooch" It took Dillard 5 hours to jump Bolme rap that never happened Doyle wanted to trap a Seagull with his bare hands We had like 4 cars full of signs Operation Red Veine that never went through The drunk guy at Denny's offered to buy us beer for a ride home The guy who was "pitching a tent" at Dennys Whalen had the hottest neighbor in the history of Neighbors Whalen's mom is a total fox Whalen sniffed his moms panties We played Iron Balls Whalen always freestyles We had a fireworks fight between moving cars We became the Edmonds Mafia Paul asked "Why are Vagina's so gross" Whalen dropped a lit bottlerocket in Chelsea's car and everyone bailed Doyle asked why Penis were so amusing The old guy in Skippers who wouldn't shut up Sean-imals The Porto-Potty did a flip and almost killed Jeff We broke everything in our hotel room at State I dropped a lamp on Doyle's head at Pasco Doyle ran into the wall at the assembly Whalen snorted salt at Hooters We hit a house with a rock we shot from the Potato Gun Schutt got a detention for bringing two phones to school and calling himself Horizontal mambo, thinking with the little head not the big head "How much kinetic energy would it take Chewwy to blow up the Death Star" Whalen called and made fun of Fumi on Public Access "Dogs can't talk...." THE END I beat Altered Beast with codes and am the only person to know the ending. Michael Jackson's Moonwalker Whalen fought Jordan and took like 400 pills We hit Sophomore with a waterballon and they got all pissy about it We jumped into Puget Sound half naked Doyle and Whalen dove into my bushes Richards caught my bushes on fire We lit the Airesol can on fire and Hortin almost died We walked around the mall at state and were called Nazi's Doyle thought the Vagina could be removed with Surgery We put Pizza in the Alfi's napkin dispencer The Spitball with the Papertowel roll The black guy called my glowing dice tight "Hey you, Jewish kid" "Bitch fucked up my ride" Machete Club I slept with that really hot girl...you know what I'm talking bout Doyle ate Chicken Wings before a race and puked all over the course "Left wing stuck in ditch" "Get your polish ass in gear" Doyle gave me a tapper in the mall and I almost cried I started to roll Whalens truck down the hill and he punched me in the dome We bowled in Costume The guy bitched at me for throwing two balls down the alley We went "special bowling" at like 3 AM Richard Carter III A guy chased me going 60 MPH in Mill Creek "Spiders in the Vagina" "Did you say Gangbang?" "1234 Faque Street Scenectady, NY 12345" "Is Robert there?.......are you sure?......how sure?" There was that hot eleventeen year old at Taco bell that I knew both me and Sam would hit. When we painted our chests for the Soccer game. "Sack the Timbs" on the Deion Sanders poster. The pimped out Taurus the 1st day of Practice "She is Beautiful" at the girls soccer game Richards spent $10 on gumballs just to win a free Taco. We waited in the parking lot to follow a teacher home. Whalen was talking all black at Jack in the Box and the cashier was black and got all pissed off. Stett totalled his car a week after he got his license. Jeff waxed his chest. Sam ran all the way to Doyle's house wearing the thriller mask. Doyle lost his keys 3 times in one night I had to drive Doyle to the gas station to get his keys I had to drive Doyle home to get his keys Whalen and I "acquired" the thing you put money in at the bank. Me and Nino watched Chariots of Fire and I realized the only good thing about that movie was the theme. How Jurassic Park flowed in some wack situations Asian Matrix Schutt got hit by a car during the Edmonds Invite Hortin dropped out of a race to take a shit in the woods We ran a workout humming the theme to Chariots of Fire "Diversion Huddle" HAEE "The banana's well protected" We got back from Tacoma in 35 minutes Richards kicked the dry ice bomb right as it was exploding I didnt exactly rent a movie at blockbuster We tipped the Pizza Guy entirely out of change and he wouldnt take it Spencer got in the 1 percentile on the PSAT Coming back from Tacoma the Ninja Bike that was going 300 MPH Lynndale in the Explorer Me and Nick went to Incubus and we were the only two people there who werent stoned. We laughed at the "sad" part in Harry Potter and the mom infront of us bitched us out We bought pink lighters from the guy at AMPM The run back from South Whidbey mooning all the buses We tied the giant dog under Chaffee's car We stole the scarecrow Writing Chaffee loves the cock in her driveway with shaving cream Trying unsuccessfully 3 times to break into the Woodway Shed Schutt ran the 3200 wearing the solar blockers Chair Bowling at camp We had to stop calling Donkey Punch names so we called him DP "Yank my doodle its a dandy but whatever you do dont puke on my kicks" I rode Whalen down the stairs like a skateboard "E dub....E dub....E dub....hoo" We played foursquare...and had fun Walking through Albertsons in animal costumes acting like the animal I dressed up like a girl and went bowling The Mexican was hitting on Andrea...and we gave him 'her number' We circled a bunch of 8th graders and kept hitting them with water and a milkeshake The freshman tried to hang himself off his bunkbed and all we could think about was how he woulda done it......just lifting his legs We predicted Keeleys car accident Taking the SATs and Spencer asked how to write cursive numbers That dog followed me and Whalen for like 4 miles Hortin tripped and fell while wearing the Tuscan Raider mask We drove home on I-5......... Doyle thought there was a mathematical equation that you could use to solve the lottery The Bowling Alley guy of all people told me not to do drugs. Stealing our lunches from the shitty food mart in the middle of no where I had 0.4 Gallons of Gas left when we finally found the gas station in the middle of no where The Taurus' new speed....dashboard... Whalen said, "Let's draw faces on Jake's penis......I mean......let's draw penis's on Jake's face." We pondered what you do with a dead dog There was Tuna in Garrets pillow and he didn't notice for like 3 days Bohemian Rhapsody tore it up and we beat the UW College Chicks and their Kareoke skit.... Charles forgot lunch Hortin sprained his ankle and had to walk around like the gimp he is Wirth nailed Garret with a rock Hortin limped around trying to dodge the rocks Alex said, "I dunno Doyle do you know any?" and then Doyle shot him. Tricksy Hobitsis guarding the newport party Chico laughed. Wirth, "Hey ladies how's it going?" I got stung by a bee and kept swearing infront of the little kids The Jeep had, "Twenty-one-hundred-thousand-miles." Playing baseball with Jelly Fish We set 50 logs free in Puget Sound Garret kicked Schutt's ass Offroading in the Jeep and Brad shit a brick The Handicap Tack We took a picture with Doyle's camera....and better yet his parents saw it The Newport chick tore ass The shopping carts at Fred Meyer We rabbited a race at CPM weaing a chicken costume, a big mac suit and the pink jumpsuit. Me and Hortin drove to International district at 4 am. We were in a van for 24 hours Rydman fell asleep on a curb and looked like a Bum "And the "first place" team from Worshington" - Stupid Oregon Announcer Cox's bronco made too much noise for the QFC parking lot so we got kicked out 70 Asians + me and Hortin My dad was behind me when I was doing 52 in a 35 Richards tried to run with us We actually saw Timeline in theaters Malcom in the Middle said, "Fuck" in Agent Cody Banks Whalen in his sisters bedroom at 3am, and then he saw us out the window We saw Hortin's parents in Costco while we were skipping contemporary living Booya Drove thru the drive thru starbucks 3 times, each with a different driver, while the computers were down and everything was free We walked in on my mom watching "Wild On" on E! and she frantically stumbled for the remote to turn it off The Giant Swastika hanging from my room Going to the last Girls Soccer game with Vagina pained on our backs. Getting banned from all sporting events for 2 months for having Vagina painted on our backs. Making a documentary about getting banned from all sporting events because of the Vagina on our backs. Nate's car blew up Axe > Electricity Meter Acquiring the electric scooter for homecoming. Skin Tight Ninja Turtle suits complete with package hanging out. Richards backing off the curb in the electric scooter. The Poster operation Pulling Beattiger behind my car Rollerblading behind my car going like 25 Colin Ballard +10 homecoming night. I walked thru the Albertsons door and it wouldn't shut for like 5 minutes as we watched from the parking lot. I went to Hollisters..... I turned 18... We sent Rachel's keys back to the 17th Century... Friday nights in the Kenmore