Life on The Road and The Range

As drummer/percussionist for The Mighty Bohunks, Ron is always seeking out a bigger sound. A bigger sound certainly can be achieved with a bigger drum. Being a hobby scientist Ron took an entirely logical approach to constructing the BIGGEST DRUM THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN! What are the basic requirements? A large resonant chamber struck with a mallet. We don't have a larger "drum" at our disposal than the Earth itself! An added bonus is that The Mighty Bohunks perform exclusively on Earth, so we don't have to transport it. Brilliant! For a mallet, it has to be managable. Perhaps the densest element, Osmium, sized like a medicine-ball.


Here are laboratory photos, time-lapsed, of Ron's assistant François Henri LaLanne slamming the "mallet" onto the "drum" with terrifying force. Hard enough to distort the Osmium ball:



The resulting sound was fairly loud, but described as a "blap" or "thud". One thing Ron didn't plan for was being able to use this drum more than once an hour, as it requires a Bobcat to dredge it up. Another problem: Ron can't lift the mallet, and Francois is often unavailable. Back to the drawing board! We look forward to hearing Ron on a traditional drum kit soon, with The Mighty Bohunks!

The Mighty Bohunks has participated in some failed Iron Range events. Viva La "Freedom Fete", where we performed as the headlining act in front of the promoter, the locals who have no air conditioning, and the road crew for Little Texas (the warmup act for The Mighty Bohunks). There's "Whorehouse Days", which was reduced to the embarassing "Ore House Days" due to objections from the local knitting club before disappearing all together.


This past weekend was supposed to be "Iron Range Blast II - The British Invasion" featuring Savoy Brown, Badfinger, etc. at the Museum of Mining. While the BLAST website is/was up, you can read the snipe "due to the lack of public and civic participation, IRON RANGE BLAST II Has been canceled" (savor the misspelling).

Despite the sad news that we weren't going to party with Kim Simmonds, The Mighty Bohunks went ahead and tore through several sets at Chopper and Bubba's Koscaks Bar. We even printed Special Edition Mighty Bohunks shirts with "Bohemian Invasion" on the back (email us if you'd like to buy one)!

Weekend highlights for the band included Ron constantly banging the back of his head (in time!) on a sharp wood corner, Joe with his own light fixture that read "Budweiser Billiards", Vic - Wait, not *Vic*, but his Hammond sprayed in black truck bed liner(seriously), and a rousing punk/ska/funkshine rendition of "Ring of Fire".

There were several bands in town, but Koscaks had most the foot traffic. There were great crowds all weekend. And the locals were great - Bruce McDirt our personal bartender (fresh in from Vegas, baby), Ollie, and of course Bubba, who sat or danced in front of the PA stacks all weekend. At the very end while we were loading gear into the trailer, with the echo of the amplifiers ringing in my head, Chopper appeared, shook all our hands, offered his wife, and invited us back. We had never met Chopper before.

So was it a dud? Not in the least. Koscaks is where The Mighty Bohunks broke on the scene several years ago, so it's like coming home.

The Mighty Bohunks and the Koscaks employees, owners and patrons had - Well, a BLAST...

This month we'd like to feature the Prince of Pig Town*, the Royal Sir Sitsalot, Ronald Kylochko. Ron is a power mother-funk retro drummer. He is the most particular, and anal-retentive and tidy of the Bohunks. You might say he is our token Retro-Sexual. He hasn't always been this way. As a young man, he pissed himself to sleep most nights. Ron has shown leadership in promoting The Mighty Bohunks at our live shows. His nickname "Coconut" came about after his head was sheared by brother Paul and it resembled the hard shell of the coconut.

* There is some controversay: Prince of Pigtown is already taken by the infamous Ron Alexander, noted bully and dazzling dancer.

WOW what a weekend at Scooters. The place was packed both nights. And it was hot hot hot. The crowd churned with all the energy methamphetamine affords. Special thanks to the Iowan Peptide haulers from Zinpro - Sorry we couldn't bust out the Bon Jovi! Look for The Mighty Bohunks back there in November.

All of The Mighty Bohunks have little bohunks so Fathers Day gets us a little misty. But we want to share the day with those who usually get little fanfare on this day. So here's a shout-out to those guys who have children they may not be aware of!

And to all you deadbeat dads who don't give a crap about their kids, Crappy Fathers Day! What does that mean, do you suppose? It is a slap in the face to the low-life, the irresponsible, the meatheads (no offense at all, Meathead) of the world who just don't get it.

But it is more than that. In this politically-correct world, it is "inclusion" and "tolerance". OK, it's a slam on that too. But back to the point. If you're a guy, and you have kids, Happy Fathers Day!

-Danny Montez

OMG! The halfway houses emptied out big-time in Chisholm when The Mighty Bohunks took their timeless (no offense RON) take on greasy classic rock to the streets! What a perfect night! Here is a view from the stage right before dusk. We had a small issue with a power amp, but as luck would have it Mike Charter was dressed to kill for a wedding at The Moose, and he plugged in 1.6 Jigga-Watts of Peavey Power DURING A FRIGGIN SONG!

And The Mighty Bohunks rocked on, even harder for the throbbing thong, er, throng of wasted sunburnt northern Bohunk fans! Meathead, the fifth Bohunk, slid the sliders until the cucumber sauce spilled out of his gyro from the good, good vibrations.

We need more gigs like this one. 400+ people in the streets! LOUD rock n roll! Gyros that can't be beat! The mayor stopped by to pay us the highest compliments, and issue The Mighty Bohunks the key to the city!

Joe commented that underneath the spotlights, it's as if you're a million miles away. Vic noticed that the sweat poured out his body, like the music that he played, and the modular home he sold. I freaked because I thought the old Marshall amp was giving up the analog ghost, but it turned out to be a dead battery. Ron polished his drums.

We met some folks that are from Elk River. We hope to see them this weekend at Scooters. We commented on Dear Prudence dancing in the streets. End of the night brought the band trailer and Shawn sweeping the street's debris (don't they have machines for that?)

Good night Chisholm, wherever you are! We'll see you folks next weekend in Big Lake! The Albertville Friendly City Days is that weekend also, so run your little 5K, buy the kids some junk food, then high-tail it into Scooters to get your yaya's out with The Mighty Bohunks.

I hope you had a wonderful Memorial Day. It's hard to make out in this photo, but The Mighty Bohunks were on their lawn chairs, on someones lawn, enjoying the parade and paying their respect to our fallen soldiers.

Summer Kickoff! Be there or be square! Chisholm will be rocking this weekend with The Mighty Bohunks at Tom & Jerry's Friday night, and outdoors for a concert Saturday night.

This will be your first opportunity to purchase an official Mighty Bohunks Tshirt! Wear it proudly while enjoying the band, a beer, and the finest street vendor food in Minnesota!

-Half Stack