So, you want to be an apprentice?

This article is loosely adapted from one that I wrote many years ago. Amazingly, not many of my ideas have changed, but a number of things in the SCA have. I present here what I expect from apprentices in my household.

Deportment

Don't embarrass your peer or yourself. Your behavior is under observation by others--both peers and the populace. Try to set a good example. Be courteous, helpful and friendly, especially to new people. Try to keep your temper under control in public, and think before you speak. If tact is not your strong suit, don't say anything.

Gossip is frequently fun, but it has limits. Malicious gossip (talk that is meant to hurt, or even recklessly does so) will not be tolerated. Nobody deserves to have things said behind their back that you wouldn't say to their face. Repeating other peoples' words out of context or in an unfair manner is just bad form. It will also get you a bad reputation in the SCA faster than anything else. Repeating other peoples' confidences is unacceptable behavior. Most SCA gossip is out of actual interest and concern, but learn the limits, and learn not to pass them.

A certain level of authenticity in your garb, equipment, presence, and general deportment is expected. When you are talking to friends, it's O.K. to discuss your new computer. This is not alright when you are talking to people in general at an event. That's the time to do the medieval thing. Talk about the event, fighting, your latest research project, the feast, how cute Lord Thusandso looks in his new costume, but leave the obviously mundane in the cabin. If you haven't had the time or money to have all your stuff "medievalized," follow the two easy rules for hiding mundanities--put it in something else or throw something over it.

Dependability

If you make a commitment, live up to it. Don't make promises that you can't keep just to be polite, or because you think it is expected. People prefer to hear that you don't have the time, to finding out later that something has not been done. If you hold an office, do what is required in a responsible manner. If it gets to be too much, give it up. Keep confidences. If you are told something that is in confidence, don't repeat it--not to your spouse, not to me. On the other hand, if you are told something that involves a potential for physical danger to another person or some other terrible thing, by all means tell someone. Use your judgment.

Relationship with your Peer

Being an apprentice is a relationship, not an award. It does not move you up in the order of precedence. That belt you wear symbolizes the relationship and nothing else. The relationship should be one of give and take, and hopefully, of friendship. That is certainly what I strive for. Half of the responsibility for this relationship is yours. Research, projects, parties, letters and phone calls, and events are all things that you can do with your peer. Remember that part of the burden of organizing, starting, setting up and taking down is yours. It is especially important to keep lines of communication open. Misunderstandings are most likely to happen when people don't talk enough. If you have a problem, discuss it with your peer. You'd be surprised how understanding we can be.

Service

Associates used to have more of a problem here than they seem to now, so we peers must be communicating this well--or else there's more competition. I believe service is extremely important in all its forms. Service to the Kingdom and local group is something that continues after you are a peer, and service to your peer can be an important part of the relationship. It also teaches you respect for the service given to you by others. These days, however, I have to warn people not to do too much. Too many commitments lead to burn-out. Too much doing for others can keep you from having a good time yourself. Balance your commitments. Stay sane.

Scholarship and Craft

Knowledge is its own reward. If you didn't believe that, you wouldn't want to be an apprentice. Seeking excellence in what we do is what makes this game fun, but don't lose sight of the real goal. On the road to perfection, it is the trip, not the destination, that is important. Not one of us will ever be perfect. Few of us will ever create a perfect thing. (I certainly see room for improvement in everything I do, no matter how good it is.) The joy of learning new things, creating new things, and sharing those things with others is what the Laurelate is all about. It is not about being better than someone else. It is not about refusing to share source material. This is the SCA, not academia. No one cares who publishes first. Teaching and sharing knowledge are very important. We are, after all, an educational organization. Please don't lose sight of that.

Politics

Politics in the SCA differs from real medieval politics in one very important way. The consequences of declaring war are much less permanent. You can't really kill your enemies. The one you stab in the back today will be standing behind you tomorrow. If you make enemies (and trust me, you will) they will be around to plague you forever, unless they drop out of the SCA--not something to bank on. So don't go out of your way to make enemies. That is not to say that you can't disagree. Just do so in a reasonable way. Don't be the one to declare war.

Sooner or later you will find that you are having a conflict with some person or group. Here are some rules to live by when this happens. 1) Don't develop an "us vs. them" attitude. This is counter-productive almost all of the time. 2) Don't take it personally. Chances are good that the conflict has nothing to do with you as a human being. It is probably about a difference of opinion, a different way of doing things, etc. 3) You don't get to have your way all the time. Even if you think your way is best, you have to give in some of the time. You might even be surprised to find out that other people can be right too. 4) Compromise is good for the soul on all issues except moral and ethical ones. 5) If you cannot solve the dispute, get both sides to agree to be bound by the decision of a neutral third party arbitrator. 6) Remember that there are people out there who don't have the social skills of a goat. Be patient with them. Most of these folks want to get better. 7) Others have not had the benefit of this wonderful advice, and as a result may violate all of these rules. Gently, tell them that you did not intend any personal affront, etc. and guide them back to the real issues.

The power of influence is a mighty thing in the SCA. Those people who have had the most "power" for the longest time are generally those who have good ideas that people want to listen to. They are the reasonable people who are fun to be around and who lead others without seeming to. They are the ones who empower others, rather than trying to wield power over them. Yes, there have been (and, alas, will continue to be) Machiavellis, but their descents from the heights are generally far swifter and more painful than their ascents. No one likes a jerk for very long, and sooner or later they fall.

Beware the cult of personality. Charismatic leaders are not necessarily good leaders, although they tend to have large households and packs of hangers-on. If you watch for very long you will see that their personnel has rapid turn-over and/or the people around them do not have strong personalities of their own. This should be a warning to you.

Motivation

A word about ambition--I approve of it. There is nothing innately wrong with ambition, especially if it motivates you to excel. The thing to beware of is hidden motives. Do you want an award because having a lot of letters after your name is the only way you can feel good about yourself? That is bad ambition. Do you want an award because you think that doing the things it will take to get it will be fun and rewarding? That is the ambition of a healthy person. Unfortunately a lot of people have the first kind, which is motivated by low self-esteem. If that is what drives you, no award will ever be enough--you must also work on correcting the problem in yourself, which is the most worthwhile endeavor you can undertake. It can even be done while you are working on other things, and especially with the help of friends. Just don't lie to yourself about it.