Captain Janeway stood in sickbay looking red faced and exposed as The Doctor rambled on, her arms tightly crossed as if to protect herself from his accusations as well as…herself.
“That’s the only way, Captain. I’m serious. You’ve got to tell her.”
She turned and faced the man, exhaustion etched on her features as proof of her struggle with the news she received not so very long ago.
“Doctor, I hardly think telling Seven on her wedding day that I’m in love with her will solve anything.”
“I disagree,” he argued. “Seven is an exceptionally bright young woman. She can handle it.”
“I’m not about to interfere in her love life.”
“You aren’t interfering if she feels the same way,” he reminded her with mild frustration. “And besides, I think after all you’ve been through together you owe it to her to be honest. If you won’t do it for yourself then at least do it for her.”
Janeway closed her eyes at the thought as she imagined how it would play out. Hello Seven. That’s a lovely dress you’ve got on. Oh, by the way, I’m in love with you. Would you mind calling off your wedding? She shuddered at the ridiculousness of it.
“It’s the only way I’m giving you something to relax your nerves,” The Doctor added, interrupting her thoughts. “If you want the tranquilizer you have to tell her.”
“What makes you think I won’t take your program offline and get it myself?”
“Because I already caught you trying to sneak it the first time without my authorization and I don’t think you want an official record of this incident. If I discover any tampering with my matrix I’ll be forced to do just that,” he warned.
It was at that point she wanted to strangle the man for being so obstinate and leaving her with little choice.
“Very well,” she snapped. She walked right up him and pointed her finger, poking him in the chest several times as she continued. “I’ll speak with Seven, but if I feel at any time she’s getting upset, I’m holding out. I will not ruin this day for her.”
“Fair enough. Come back when you’re finished and we can do it then.” She nodded in concurrence but before she could fully escape he had to ask the one question that nagged at him, curious if his own confession of love for Seven had somehow sparked her own. “Captain, how long have you been in love with her?”
“Now that,” she warned with a daggered tone as she neared the door, “is none of your business.”
He watched her turn to leave and was thankful to be out of the captain’s wrath after such a heated discussion. When he materialized an hour ago and caught her red handed sneaking a tranquilizer he demanded an explanation. Judging by the shaky tone of her voice he suspected something was wrong, but he had no idea she was going to confess being in love with Seven. Of course, getting the information out of her was like sneaking a pot roast past a group of starving Klingons, but if she personally thought a tranquilizer was her only way of getting through Seven’s wedding day then he knew there was a much bigger reason than the nausea she claimed to have.
Alone in the corridor, Janeway heaved a big sigh and wished she could jettison herself out into space just to avoid the impending discussion with Seven as The Doctor’s question continued swirling in her mind.
How long?
She knew her feelings for Seven had been different than those she had for the rest of the crew for quite some time now, and she couldn’t fully understand why she had been so upset when Chakotay approached her about marrying Seven. Her initial reaction was that it was some sort of joke, that someone had put Seven up to it, and for a day or two she played along, expecting someone to burst into her ready room and shout “gotcha.” But as wedding plans were being made and no one barged into the ready room she felt a joke had indeed been played on her, but not the one she initially thought. It wasn’t until her holodeck time with Seven yesterday that the realization of actually being in love with Seven became painfully obvious.
“You’re going to love this,” she told Seven. “Trust me.”
Following the captain as they trudged down a slight grassy hill and approached a small river, Seven carried a picnic basket and small radio while Janeway held two fishing poles slung over her shoulder with one hand and a plastic container in the other. “Where are we going?”
“It’s not so much where we’re going as it is what we’re going to do,” Janeway replied, trying her hardest to conceal her smirk.
“Very well. What are we going to do?”
“We’re going fishing.”
“Fishing?” Seven asked in disbelief.
When they arrived at the riverbank there had been a canoe tied to the floating dock. Janeway stepped up and placed the rods inside before taking the basket and radio from Seven and placing them inside the boat as well. Seven remained on the bank looking confused and Janeway smiled at the young woman’s charming apprehension.
“Yes, Seven. We’re going fishing.” She offered her hand and guided Seven across the unsteady dock that rocked in synchronization to the rhythm of the lapping waves. When she suggested earlier that Seven wear something appropriate for summer wear, she had no idea the woman would don a pair of cotton shorts, a white T shirt, and sandals. Clearly Seven had gotten her dress tips from Tom Paris.
“What is the purpose of fishing?” Seven asked, having some difficulty seating herself into the boat as it refused to remain still.
“Ah, that’s the million dollar question now isn’t it?”
Janeway climbed inside and positioned herself across from Seven, taking a paddle and pushing off the dock. For a few precious moments they sat in silence as Janeway paddled them away from the dock and toward a deeper part of the river. She tried to remain as inconspicuous as possible as she watched Seven from the corner of her eye, taking pleasure in the fact that Seven was experiencing something entirely new with her that the so called Indian scout had never taken the time to show her.
“When I was a child, before my father started spending most of his time away from home, he used to take me fishing. There was a small lake near our farm—“
“—In Indiana, correct?”
Janeway smiled at how Seven remembered the little details of her life. It was probably the eidetic memory she had, enhanced with Borg technology, but she didn’t care. What mattered was that Seven cared enough to file it away as something important to remember.
“Yes,” she answered, putting the paddles down while they drifted to a stop. “It was one of the ways we had our quality time. Those trips were some of the best memories I have of my childhood.”
They cast their rods in the water and for the next hour they relaxed and talked while waiting for a nibble on one of the poles. There was a slight breeze and a fish would occasionally jump out of the water into the warm sun and splash them, and Janeway felt the day couldn’t have been more perfect if they were really experiencing this day back on Earth. The sun had been warmer than she remembered programming the computer to make it, and she was tempted to alter it but decided to forego that in lieu of this being such a wonderful afternoon and her not wanting anything to seem artificial. She was about to break open the picnic basket when Seven’s pole began to rattle.
“I think you may have something there,” Janeway pointed out.
As Seven stood up and picked up her pole, there had been an immediate tug from the other end.
“Yes,” Janeway confirmed, standing up to join Seven. “You’ve definitely got something.”
Seven began rapidly reeling it in when Janeway reached out for her arm to slow her down.
“Ease up on it. Think of it as a competition. If you reel it in too fast you might lose it, but don’t let the line go slack either.”
Seven alleviated the tension slightly and played along. While Seven clearly had superior strength, Janeway could tell the fish was giving her a tricky time. It must have been one hell of a large fish she decided as Seven had to part her legs to brace herself while she continued reeling it in.
Just as she wanted to grab a net to help out she remembered they hadn’t brought one and Seven was going to have to pull this one in the boat on her own.
“Is…this…accurate?” Seven asked with difficulty as she continued battling the fish.
“Yes! You’re doing great!”
Janeway leaned over the side to take a peek and suddenly the fish gave a yank with such an unexpected force that Seven lost her balance and the boat began to violently rock. Before Janeway knew what was happening, she began to lose her own footing and clutched the side of the boat for support. Seven let go of the pole as she tried to steady herself, but before either woman had any inkling of how to stop the rocking and regain their balance, Seven had taken a spill over the side, tipping the edge of the boat under the surface of the water as she fell in. Before the splash even reached her, Janeway inescapably followed Seven into the water on the other side of the boat.
Within a few seconds both women emerged from under the water completely soaked from head to toe. For a moment Janeway didn’t know what to make of her fishing adventure with Seven. This certainly wasn’t the way she had it planned. They were supposed to spend a relaxing afternoon in the boat, having lunch and talking about life and everything happening with Seven lately, perhaps even have a little paddle down the river as the sun set. Instead, they were both in the river, the boat was filled with several inches of water, their picnic basket had taken a dive too and hadn’t surfaced yet so that was a lost cause, and to add insult to injury, the fish got away.
“I am sorry,” Seven said, her hair slicked back and water dripping down her body.
For an instant, Janeway saw a flash of regret cross Seven’s expression and she assumed the young woman was not having such a great time after all.
“I have ruined our fishing adventure.”
“Don’t be silly, Seven. This isn’t the first time I’ve taken a spill into the water.” It wasn’t exactly the truth, but there was no need to make the situation any worse by placing blame. “Remember when I said it was a competition? Well, this time the fish won. We’ll get even next time.”
Seven smiled at the idea of a second chance to prove her athletic abilities, disregarding the fact that she probably looked foolish standing waist deep in the river because something as insignificant as a fish had caught her off guard. “I look forward to it.”
“I’ll tell you what,” Janeway began. She stepped closer to Seven and wrapped her arm around Seven’s shoulder, pointing to the riverbank with the other hand. “How about I replicate us another basket and we go have some lunch under that tree. There’s plenty of shade so it won’t be too warm, and when our clothes are dry and we’re recouped we’ll give it another shot. Sound like a plan?”
Seven nodded in agreement and together they waded through the water, dragging the boat behind them. After they reached the bank and tied the boat to the dock, Janeway was about to ask if Seven had any preference for lunch items when the hail came through.
“Chakotay to Seven.”
Seven tapped her comm. badge in response, “One moment, Commander.”
For an instant Janeway had the sinking feeling that their time in the holodeck was about to come to an abrupt end. “We can do this another time if you want to spend your last night as a single woman with Chakotay,” she suggested, though she desperately hoped it wouldn’t come to that.
“No. I would like to continue this ‘fishing’ if you are still willing.”
Still willing? Seven had no idea how willing Janeway really was at this point. Something had definitely happened between them from the time they left the dock to when they returned. Being with Seven now, her insides were doing flips and, as ridiculous as it sounded, she had the sudden urge to sing and dance. She didn’t understand what had happened, how it was if she was suddenly seeing Seven in a new light, and while she felt there was something impure about it she was grateful her Starfleet training saved her from letting her feelings surface. Her emotions were in a total upheaval now. She was experiencing everything from giddiness and pure bliss to extreme jealousy and rage. Even touching Seven was different than it had been. It felt… adulterated, yet at the same time there was something so natural, so right, about it. She wanted to share with Seven everything she was feeling and thinking, and the rumbling in her belly wasn’t the only hunger she had. To just take Seven in her arms…to hold and kiss her… Instead, she nodded and smiled at Seven’s wish to prolong their holodeck time, stepping away to offer Seven a moment with Chakotay while she replicated them a new basket of food.
When she returned a few moments later, they sat down and dug into the basket of goodies. Over the next hour they talked and laughed, enjoying just being in each other’s company, all the while resting under the giant oak that not only shielded them from the sun but appeared to shield them from the rest of the universe. It was her and Seven. Together. Alone. So much that she wasn’t even aware of was happening so quickly, and before too long the adventures of the day had taken its toll and Janeway managed to fall asleep nestled next to Seven, content that nothing would happen to her as long as Seven was near.
Since yesterday.
She thought in response to The Doctor’s question, rubbing her temple in the privacy of the empty corridor. Since…I first met her on that Cube so many years ago. It was all so confusing and she had no idea how it came to this or how it would be from this point on.
“Tell her,” she muttered to herself. After several minutes of stalling in the corridor, she hesitantly walked to the Wildmans’ quarters where she knew Seven was preparing for the biggest day of her life.
"This isn't quite how I imagined it,” Naomi admitted.
"No?" Seven questioned.
"I thought there'd be sequins."
“Sequins?”
“You know, something fancy like that. But this dress is really pretty too.”
Seven smiled at her friend. Standing in the middle of the Wildmans’ quarters in her wedding gown, Seven hadn’t expected the events of the day to go quite the way they had. She had heard rumors of things going wrong on the “big day” and she fully expected as much, but so far everything had gone as planned. Samantha and Naomi Wildman were helping her get ready for the ceremony, Neelix had planned an elaborate reception, the crew were gathering in the mess hall, and in thirty minutes she would be at Chakotay’s side and become his bride. Any woman in her place would be ecstatic, so why wasn’t she?
“Perhaps when you get married you can wear sequins,” she suggested.
Still very much a child but physically advanced far beyond her years, Naomi was now gracefully tracing the fine lace of the gown’s sleeve with her delicate fingers.
“I bet the Captain’s gonna like it.”
Seven turned in surprise at the mention of the Captain. “Explain.”
“Well, you know. She’s your best friend, isn’t she? She’s always spending time with you…always happy when you’re around...”
“How do you know this?”
Naomi rolled her eyes as if it was obvious. “Please. I used to be the Captain’s Assistant. It was my job to know these things. Besides, it’s pretty obvious she likes you.”
Across the room, Samantha had just finished the final alterations to Naomi’s dress when the door chimed and she moved to answer it.
“What else do you know about the captain?” Seven asked.
“Lots of things. What do you want to know?” Naomi replied, now fiddling with the scalloped lace of the gown’s dropped waistline.
“Hello, Captain,” Samantha said, announcing Janeway’s presence. “Come in. We were just talking about you.”
“Oh? Only good things I hope,” Janeway joked, stepping into the room.
“Captain, you have to see Seven! Doesn’t she look pretty?” Naomi shouted.
When Janeway caught site of Seven standing there in her gown, it was as if all the air had suddenly been sucked out of her lungs. She thought “pretty” didn’t even begin to describe how Seven looked. To say Seven looked pretty was like saying the Delta Quadrant was a tiny nook in the Galaxy, and she stood there dumbfounded, unable to express her emotions, and trying desperately to hide the sentiment from showing on her face.
“My God, Seven. You look…beautiful.”
Samantha took that as her cue and excused herself, ushering Naomi into her bedroom with her to dress so the captain and Seven could talk in private.
“…Beautiful…Absolutely beautiful,” Janeway continued, completely unaware of anyone else in the room but Seven. She had a long night thinking over her feelings, and even now she had a hard time restraining herself from reaching out and caressing Seven’s cheek, from running her fingers through the softly curled long blonde hair, from taking Seven into her arms and telling her how much she loved her and wanted her and needed her. Yet while the desire for Seven was strong, she never felt more frightened and alone than she did in this moment.
Seven blushed immediately at the compliment. “Thank you.”
“How do you feel?” Janeway asked, thinking that steering herself into casual conversation would ease her tautness.
Seven moved to a nearby table as she thought and began arranging the assortment of tiny flowers she would wear in her hair.
“I believe I am experiencing anxiety.”
Janeway joined her at the table, placing a comforting hand on Seven’s arm. “Pre-wedding jitters. Everyone goes through it.”
“Perhaps.”
Seven moved away at the touch and Janeway sensed something deeper was going on. She had touched Seven hundreds of times in the past, but this was the first time since her first days on Voyager Seven pulled away at the gesture. Had she somehow crossed the line with the woman?
“Everything ok?” she asked.
Seven paused a moment and stopped playing with the flowers, focusing her full attention on Janeway.
“Captain, how do you know when you are making the right decision to marry someone?”
“I believe you’ve just asked the one question every bride goes through at one time or another.”
“Then this apprehension is normal?”
“Well, I won’t lie to you, Seven. The anxiety is normal, but if you’re asking me if you should marry Chakotay then you’re asking the wrong person. I admit this has been a bit sudden, and I do think you should give it some further thought before taking the plunge, but in the end there’s only one person who can tell you if marrying Chakotay is the right thing to do and that’s you.”
“I do care about the Commander,” Seven considered.
“Well, that’s a start.”
“But I also care about many people on Voyager that I do not want to marry.”
“Marriage is a commitment, Seven. Some couples end their relationship after a few years when they realize it’s not working out for them, but the majority of married couples are in it for the long haul. Is that how you see your relationship with Chakotay?”
She gave Seven a few moments to consider things, taking into account the longevity of the vow she would soon be making. When more than a minute had passed and Seven still hadn’t responded, Janeway began to get nervous. “Are you having second thoughts?”
Seven looked at her with surprise in her eyes. Or was it pleading? She could normally read these icy blue orbs as easily as reading a book, telling a different story with each new emotion, but she hadn’t seen this look before from Seven. She took Seven by the arm again and looked deeply into her eyes, studying, trying to read what they were saying.
“It’s ok if you’re having second thoughts,” Janeway continued. “No one’s forcing you to do this, Seven.”
“I am not sure what I feel,” Seven confessed.
Janeway instinctually bowed her head out of respect, but she couldn’t deny the wave of relief that filled her insides, considering for a moment that perhaps there wouldn’t be a wedding today after all.
As hard as it was though, she admitted that Seven wouldn’t have come this far if she hadn’t felt at least some inkling of affection. She wouldn’t have allowed herself to continue pursuing a relationship she didn’t see a future in. And she certainly wouldn’t have agreed to marry someone she wasn’t in love with.
“Just ask yourself this one question, Seven, and then you’ll know if it’s right for you. If you could spend the rest of your life with only one person, who would it be? That answer will tell you whether or not you’re making the right decision.”
Then, when Janeway looked up into those icy blue eyes again and realized Seven must have been thinking about Chakotay as she saw nothing but love and passion beaming down at her, she knew she had to face the fact that she had lost Seven forever. Now wasn’t the time for selfish desire. It was time to be the friend Seven needed.
“Seven, do you feel love? I mean true, honest love. The kind of love that grabs you and shakes you and shouts ‘hey, this is what life is all about’ and doesn’t let go? The kind of love that throws ups and downs at you and doesn’t lose you along the way?”
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Seven wanted to scream. She did feel that. Had felt it for a long time. Was feeling it right this minute. “Yes, Captain. I do.”
Janeway forced a smile. While she felt nothing but happiness for Seven she realized all hope was gone. To hell with The Doctor. She would make do without his medicine and not ruin this moment for Seven.
“I’m happy that you’ve found someone who loves you unconditionally, Seven. Someone who will wake up next to you and thank the heavens for finding you…that every moment you’re together is a gift and pure agony when you’re apart. If you truly believe you’ve found that, then you should seize it because something like that is so precious.” Janeway paused for a moment, hoping that Seven hadn’t guessed she was talking about her own feelings now. “Not everyone is blessed enough to find what you’ve found. Don’t let it go.”
When she looked into Seven’s eyes again she saw they had warmed, soft and emotional like the day she beamed to the Flyer and brought her back home after regaining her trust. Yes, Seven was in love. It was written all over her face, and she would not ruin this day with her egocentric confession.
“Thank you, Captain. You have helped me understand my feelings better,” said Seven, smiling.
“How’s everything going out here?” Samantha asked, emerging from her bedroom with Naomi in tow.
“I think we’re ready,” said Janeway. “And you two look wonderful.”
She walked over to Naomi and bent forward. “You’re the prettiest maiden of honor I think I’ve ever seen.”
Naomi beamed at the compliment. “Thanks, Captain!”
“The Doctor should be here shortly,” Janeway informed the trio. She took a final glance at Seven and vowed to memorize every detail of how stunning Seven looked. Her heart ached at Seven’s beauty, ached at missed opportunities, but most of all ached at what and who she had lost forever.
“I’ll see you in the mess hall in a few minutes,” she added and turned to leave. Don’t hug her. I can’t let myself get lost in her arms.
Once she was in the empty corridor, she was forced to lean against the wall for support. It was a futile act though as her legs couldn’t quite support her exponentially increasing moments of agony and she wanted to slide down to the ground and sit on the floor with her head on her knees. What she wouldn’t give to take back every minute of the last four years! No, you’re being selfish. She’s happy now. You’ve seen it in her eyes. She’s in love. She sighed loudly, accepting her fate, and tapped her comm. badge.
“Janeway to The Doctor.”
“Doctor here.”
“Seven’s ready. You can escort her to the mess hall now.”
“Did you tell her?” he asked.
“No. I won’t be needing the tranquilizer either.”
“Captain, I really think you should tell her how—“
Janeway angrily cut him off in mid sentence. “Doctor, Seven’s waiting for you. Don’t make her wait. Janeway out.”
After Janeway had left, Seven remained with the Wildmans until The Doctor arrived. Samantha and Naomi checked themselves over, putting the finishing touches on their dresses, while Seven fiddled with her bouquet, but the flowers were the last thing on her mind at the moment.
If you could spend the rest of your life with only one person, who would it be?
Not only had the words echoed in her mind but the captain’s voice asking that question resonated with her as well. Brief flashes of shared interactions played in her mind like a movie, but it wasn’t until she recalled their holodeck time yesterday that she realized who she wanted to spend the rest of her days with.
They had both been standing waist depth in cold water, and she was sure she had ruined the fishing expedition the captain so proudly wanted to share with her, but it wasn’t until Janeway’s offer to try again that she felt some sense of relief.
“I’ll tell you what,” the captain began. Janeway stepped closer and wrapped her arm around her shoulder, pointing to a huge tree by the riverbank with her other hand. “How about I replicate us another basket and we go have some lunch under that tree. There’s plenty of shade so it won’t be too warm, and when our clothes are dry and we’re recouped we’ll give it another shot. Sound like a plan?”
She nodded in agreement and they towed the boat back to shore. When they reached the riverbank, she watched as the captain tied the boat to the dock, though she had to admit she quite enjoyed looking at the captain’s body, wet clothes sticking to her as if they had been painted on. The captain had a nice body, compact and well toned for an older woman, yet rounder in certain places the Starfleet uniform normally concealed. She found herself admiring the captain’s body rather frequently these last weeks, unobserved of course. If her own feelings were any indication, she didn’t think Janeway would appreciate the same looks she received herself from some of the male crewmembers of the ship.
And then, the intrusive hail came through.
“Chakotay to Seven.”
Seven tapped her comm. badge in response, “One moment, Commander.”
“We can do this another time if you want to spend your last night as a single woman with Chakotay,” the captain suggested.
Although she suspected Janeway was sure her tone remained neutral, Seven knew the captain well enough to detect the slightest hint of sorrow in her voice.
“No. I would like to continue this ‘fishing’ if you are still willing.”
Janeway flashed a crooked smile then nodded, stepping away to replicate them some food while she tapped her badge and dealt with Chakotay.
“Commander, you wished to speak to me?”
“Yes. I thought since you didn’t want to have lunch together we could have a nice romantic dinner before the big day tomorrow.”
“I do not think so Commander. I am quite busy at the moment.”
“Oh really?” Chakotay asked. “What are you doing? Maybe I can help.”
Seven looked off into the distance to see Janeway keying specifications in the console built into a rock face in the holo program. The last thing she wanted was another disruption in her time with the captain. “I don’t think that’s necessary, Commander. I am working on a simulation the captain has asked me to assist her with. I will not be finished for quite some time.”
“She’s got you working the night before you get married?” he asked rather annoyed.
“The captain does not have me doing anything I don’t want to do,” she corrected, adding a hint of her own annoyance.
“Well, why don’t I stop by and help? Three heads are better than two.”
“No. That is not necessary. I will see you tomorrow, Commander. Goodnight.”
Before he had time to respond, Seven instructed the computer to set her badge to privacy mode and then quickly prepared a place for herself and the captain under the tree. When the captain returned a few moments later, she joined Seven and they dined on a variety of goodies Janeway replicated, including some cheesecake bites she knew Seven loved. Over the next hour they talked and laughed with such ease, something she found them doing more of in recent weeks, and just enjoyed the afternoon.
Then the captain did a curious thing. She moved near the edge of the shade and laid down so she could see the sky without the interference of leaves or branches and began pointing out various shapes in the clouds. First a bunny, then a dolphin, and eventually a giant heart. Seven thought it was silly looking for objects that didn’t really exist, and if it had been anyone else but Janeway that asked her to lay head to head with her and look at the clouds she would have declined, but the eagerness to get closer to the captain was all the motivation she needed and she slid over and placed her head next to the captains.
“I haven’t done this in about forty years,” Janeway confessed. “Looking up at the clouds like this I mean.”
“Why do you think you are doing it now?” Seven asked.
“Hmm…I’m not really sure. I guess I’m just feeling happy and want to share this experience with you.”
Seven didn’t respond. Instead, she continued looking upward while listening to the captain’s breathing. As the minutes ticked on, the figures Janeway found in the clouds waned and eventually stopped altogether. From the rhythmic breaths the captain took, it was clear to Seven that she fell asleep.
But Seven didn’t move. There was no need to get up, no need to disturb the captain. Being here with Janeway like this, the authoritative and often tenacious leader in her most vulnerable state, left Seven feeling privileged to catch this glimpse into the private life of Kathryn Janeway. And with that glimpse Seven had only one thought: Who would have guessed perfection came in such a simple package?
“Seven?” The Doctor touched her arm and startled her out of her trance.
“I did not hear you arrive,” she admitted.
“Well it’s no wonder. You were a million miles away. Anything you want to talk about?”
Seven shook her head and turned to pick up her bouquet. Her eyes met Naomi’s and then Samantha’s, both women smiling in excitement for her before she turned again to take The Doctor’s arm.
“In a few minutes you’ll be a happily married woman…Mrs. Chakotay…it has an interesting ring to it don’t you think?”
Seven offered him a crossed look that warned him not to call her that name again.
“Well then, shall we go?”
Several minutes later the crew had been informed the ceremony was about to begin and took their places. The senior staff gathered at the front while various other crewmembers filled in the surrounding spaces, and at their head, performing the ceremony was Janeway. Although she smiled outwardly, inside she had seen better days.
Naomi was the first to enter. Proudly striding down the center aisle as several people clanked Indian wood sticks, she released rose petals and Talaxian Destiny blossoms, a flower solely used for wedding rituals.
Destiny blossoms
. Janeway smirked at the irony. She stole a quick glance at Chakotay and forced away the strongest urge to punch the man’s smiling face right where he stood. I can’t believe she chose him. But before her thoughts got too carried away, the wedding march began and Seven entered the room on the arm of The Doctor, looking extremely nervous but properly taking her place at Chakotay’s side.
Suddenly, she wished she had taken that tranquilizer. Thank God the Indian part of the ritual didn’t allow for vows during the actual ceremony but rather a celebratory dance after.
“We’re gathered here today as friends and family to celebrate the marriage of two of Voyager’s finest,” Janeway began, subconsciously gritting her teeth and having to force the next words out of her mouth. “As Captain, I’m honored to join this couple.”
She looked to Seven again, the first time since the ceremony began, and it was evident by her frazzled demeanor the young woman had seen better days herself. When Chakotay took her hand in his own, Seven appeared as if she was a million light years away.
“Annika Hansen, do you take Chakotay to be your husband, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?”
Janeway braced herself as she waited on pins and needles. She knew it was coming. It was only a matter of time.
But there was only silence.
Chakotay gently shook her hands, trying to break her out of the stupor she was in but had no such luck.
“Seven?” Janeway whispered. “Are you ok?”
That got Seven’s attention. She jerked out of her trance and nodded.
Janeway couldn’t be sure, her emotions running out of control today, but she could have sworn she saw the beginning of a smile curving on Seven’s lips.
A few seconds passed as she studied Seven’s unusual behavior, unsure if she was making a fatal mistake by joining these two. No, she said she was in love, she reminded herself and continued.
“Annika Hansen, do you take Chakotay to be your husband, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?” she repeated, but oddly enough, Seven paused again for what must have seemed an eternity for both Chakotay and Janeway.
“Seven? If you’re not ready—“
“I do…” Seven interrupted.
Janeway’s heart was crushed even more than it already had been with only two small words. Still, she kept her strong command face on and continued with the ceremony.
“Chakotay, do you take…”
“…love you.” Seven said.
Janeway froze, confused at the sudden interruption. “What?”
Seven pulled her hands away from Chakotay and approached Janeway, standing only a breath away.
“I love you.” She affirmed.
Janeway looked into Seven’s eyes and saw the same look she had seen earlier. The love. The desire. It was all there.
“Those things you said… about love. I feel them for you. When I am with you it’s as if the rest of the universe ceases to exist. When we’re apart, I feel as if a part of me is missing.”
“What the hell is going on here?” Chakotay demanded.
“Captain, I believe I am in love with you, and if my understanding of love is correct, I believe you are in love with me as well.”
Janeway shook her head and whispered, “Seven, I don’t think this is the time to—”
But Seven cut her off by placing her fingers over Janeway’s lips. “Let me explain.”
“Yeah. I’d like to hear this too,” Chakotay barked at deaf ears.
“Captain, for five years you have helped me regain my humanity. You have shown and taught me things I never knew I could appreciate. I was reluctant at first but eventually accepted your guidance. I wanted to prove to you I could be more than you expected because I am Borg. I am not sure when things changed, but over time my will to thrive became a longing to exceed all that you have expected of me. I wanted to be more than I could because that is what you wanted for me. Your reactions to my success resonated within me, and more than ever I wanted to continue pleasing you.”
“Seven, I only tried to show you how things could be if you accepted them. I never wanted you to do anything you didn’t want to do for yourself.”
“But that’s where you are wrong, Captain. I did these things because I wanted to make you happy. Watching you smile when I succeed brings me pleasure, making me strive even harder to succeed. Knowing that you can depend on me and consider me your friend is more than I could ever ask for.”
The tension in the room was suffocating and Janeway could sense all eyes in the room on her but she ignored them. “I still don’t understand why you decided to get married. I never said that’s what I wanted for you.”
“When I compiled my research on Lieutenants Paris and Torres you suggested I might try romance myself.”
“Yes, but I didn’t mean that you should jump into something you weren’t ready for.” She added, taking Seven’s hands in her own.
“I wanted you to be the one to teach me, Captain, but you seemed reluctant.”
“Seven, you have to understand I only want what’s best for you. I can be thick sometimes but I really believe I wasn’t consciously aware of my feelings until yesterday. By then it was too late. I made a huge mistake in waiting. I wanted to tell you earlier how I felt but I didn’t want to ruin your big day, and if that means watching you be with someone else then that’s a price I’d have to pay.”
“It was seeing you earlier today that made me realize my hearts true desire.”
Across the room The Doctor beamed as if he had just become a proud new parent.
“When the Commander hailed me in the holodeck, asking if I would join him for dinner, all I wanted was to spend more time with you. But when you fell asleep and I still didn’t want to wake you or leave your side, I should have realized I was making a mistake with this wedding. It wasn’t until you spoke to me today about who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with that I knew it was you.”
Janeway swore everyone in the room could hear her heart beating as it pounded in her chest. She looked over to where Chakotay had been but only managed to catch a short-lived glance as he stormed out of the room, muttering something under his breath about “crazy bitches” and a “medicine bundle.”
She looked around the room at all the stunned faces, not only from the former Maquis but from the Starfleet crew as well, and decided it might be best to continue this conversation another time. “I think we need to talk about this some more in private.”
“Agreed.”
“Uh, Captain?” Neelix approached slowly, unsure if this was the proper time to bring this up or not. “I’ve got a galley full of food. I hope you’re not going to cancel the party on account of this misfortune.”
I wouldn’t say there was anything misfortunate about this.
“No, Neelix. Obviously the wedding is off but the party is still on.”
Janeway turned her attention to the crew in attendance, explained about the wedding being cancelled, but insisted that everyone have a good time at the party regardless. She had no idea how she was going to smooth things over with Chakotay, but that would come in time. For now, she took Seven’s hand in her own and guided the young woman to her quarters for that private talk they desperately needed to have.
“Computer, set privacy lockout on my comm. badge and Seven’s until further notice,” Kathryn said once they were inside the privacy of her quarters.
And then, that urge she had been fighting all day had finally taken over. She took Seven into her arms and gave her a lingering, relaxed, and very tender kiss, the kind that made promises without speaking a word, giving herself to the woman she loved more than she thought was possible, and pledging to both of them she would not make the same mistake twice.
the end
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