Edward's Return
Title: "Edward's Return"
Author: mlady_rebecca ( mlady_rebecca @ livejournal . com )
Beta: Celeste (Thanks!!)
Fandom: Anita Blake
Type: Fan Fic
Written: 05/03/2005 - 05/19/2005
Disclaimer: I don't own any of LKH's wonderful characters. Just borrowing them for a few moments. For entertainment purposes only.
Rating: R (overall)
Pairings: Anita/Nathaniel; Anita/Micah
Spoilers: for "Incubus Dreams"; also refers to a scene in a previous fic I wrote called "Sleep with Me" ( http://home.comcast.net/~mlady_rebecca/sleep_with_me.html ) -- minor plot point only
POV: first person, Anita
Description: What does Edward think of the changes in Anita since New Mexico?
Archive: http://home.comcast.net/~mlady_rebecca/ab_fics.html
I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling. My bedroom was dark, but that didn't mean it was nighttime. I had installed curtains that were room darkening enough to make the vamps feel safe spending the day in my bed. I smiled as my mind wandered to the first night Jean-Claude was forced to sleep over. He could have spent the day in the basement with Damian, but after Jason's therapy I was learning to enjoy having his unconscious body in my bed. Granted I still put Nathaniel's warm body between us. Hey, I was working on it.
Almost as if my thoughts had summoned him, Nathaniel turned over in his sleep, curling closer to my body. I kissed the top of his head. I had grown quite fond of sleeping with a naked wereleopard wrapped around me. As I tangled my hand in Nathaniel's loose hair, my free hand reflexively reached for Micah. Cool sheets. He must still be out on Furry Coalition business.
I felt for my leopards. Cherry and Zane were asleep somewhere in the house, but otherwise it was just Nathaniel and I. I could feel Damian's presence in the basement. In a couple of weeks the loft above the garage would be complete and he could have a real room.
Nathaniel had found a clock that projected the time in glowing red numerals on the ceiling. I watched the seconds tick by for a minute or two. It was just past dawn. The nightwalkers were all tucked in bed and the day walkers were getting ready to emerge, at least the morning people.
I wasn't a morning person and I had no business being awake at this hour. But I guess that's what happens when I finally catch up on sleep. Instead of fighting it, I let myself sink into the luxury that I didn't didn't have to get up. That I could spend hours just lying around in bed.
Edward wouldn't be here till late afternoon. Then I'd be back on duty as the Executioner. Until then I was just Anita.
Since Micah wasn't around and Nathaniel had fed the ardeur only a few hours ago, it looked like we were going to have furry sex for breakfast. The thought still sent a shiver of fear tinged arousal though me. I had done it that way a few times since that first encounter with Jason and Nathaniel, but it was still new, still borderline taboo, still naughty.
Nathaniel snuggled closer. I could feel his silky hardness pressed against my bare thigh. The ardeur burned a bit hotter, the flames fanned by our mutual arousal.
Nathaniel lifted his head and blinked sleepy violet eyes at me. "Do you need me?"
"Always," I said with a smile.
"Do you need me now? Do you need to feed?"
"I can wait if you want to sleep."
Nathaniel smiled, a devilish glint in his eyes. "Cats don't sleep; we just nap. And Tom cats are always up for sex."
I laughed. "You've been hanging around Jason too much." I lightly scolded.
He leaned up to kiss me. At least that's what I expected. Instead he licked the tip of my nose. "Meow."
I wrapped my arms around his torso, bringing his weight back down on me. He squirmed against me, not really trying to escape.
"Speaking of cats..." I started hesitantly. "If you shifted you wouldn't feel as drained," I whispered to the top of Nathaniel's head.
He smiled up at me again. "It's ok if you enjoy it. I do. I'm still your leopard in whatever form I'm in. I'm still me."
"I know." I met his eyes, but I still blushed. We kissed for real this time. Slow and deep and sensual.
When I looked up again, his blue-grey leopard eyes stared back at me. His voice was deeper with a hint of growl. "Hold my place."
Nathaniel slid out of bed. Cleanup was always easier when he shifted in the bathroom.
I closed my eyes and writhed against the sheets. Nathaniel climbed back in bed from the foot of the bed.
He licked and nipped his way up my legs before pressing his face into my warm wet center. His fur tickled. I could feel the press of his claws as he gripped my hips to hold me still. I tried to pull him up on top of me, but he was determined to push me over the edge first.
His tongue was so much longer and rougher when he was furry. The sensation was always my undoing.
As the echo of my first scream died down, I heard it. A floor board creaked a fraction of a second before I heard a gun cock. Edward was never that sloppy.
Edward's shock gave me enough time to roll Nathaniel over so my body was between him and Edward's gun. Nathaniel growled, but stayed where I put him.
"Don't Edward. You have no right to break into my house and shoot my friends."
"He..."
"... wasn't hurting me." My cheeks and places lower flamed with my embarrassment. "We were having sex."
I wanted a sheet, but not badly enough to move away from Nathaniel.
Edward wasn't moving. His eyes and his gun were still on Nathaniel's furry form.
"Look at me, Edward."
Edward's eyes finally met mine. Edward couldn't seem to manage dispassionate eyes. "What happened to you, Anita?"
"I grew up, Edward."
Edward put away his gun and left the room. Cherry and Zane were in the doorway before I could get up.
"Stay with Nathaniel until he can shift back, or I get rid of Edward." I pulled on jeans and a t-shirt and followed Edward.
"Anita." I looked back at Nathaniel. Trying to see the man I loved. Trying to see the monster Edward saw.
"It'll be ok." I grabbed my Browning. It's always better to be armed when facing Death.
Edward was standing in my brightly lit kitchen watching the birds in the back yard. Or maybe he was watching other images play across his eyes. I didn't want to think about it.
"Do you want coffee?" I asked. I was trying for civilized.
He turned to study me. Except for the mussed hair and the wrinkled t-shirt, my outside couldn't hold any answers to the gap that had grown between us.
"Your hair is longer," he said, unemotionally.
"Yes, Micah likes it long. He said he'd cut his hair if I cut mine." I started the coffee. I wanted some, even if Edward didn't.
"That was Micah?"
"No, that was Nathaniel."
"What happened to the wolf and the corpse?"
I spun around to face him. "Richard and Jean-Claude are fine, thank you very much. Have you ever once considered knocking?"
"No."
I sighed. I invited him here. I invited him here. "I guess your last job took less time to clean up that you thought."
"Yes."
"Are we alright?"
"Yes." It was less forceful, but left no room for debate.
"Ready to hear about the hunt?"
I got a hint of a smile. "Always."
*****
We were still talking business when Zane, Cherry, and Nathaniel came in the kitchen. Edward stiffened visibly, but didn't go for his gun. His eyes were moving between Zane and Nathaniel. I introduced the leopards and held my hand out to Nathaniel. He kept wary eyes on Edward, but came to me. He pressed himself against my back. I was his Nimir-Ra. It was my job to keep him safe.
"They are mine, Edward. No one messes with them without answering to me."
Edward nodded. He wasn't happy.
I looked at my watch and smiled at Nathaniel. He had shifted back in just over an hour. I was glad to see that he was drawing benefits from the new Tri.
**********
I knew things were gonna be awkward with Edward, but I hadn't imagined we'd be stuck in close quarters for so long. I hate surveillance. I hate waiting.
The car was hot and I was sure Edward could smell sex on me. I literally left Micah still panting in bed when I ran out the door. I'm lucky I remembered my underwear.
But I didn't know what else to do. The ardeur was still demanding regular feedings and I didn't want to be caught at a critical point alone with Edward. That would be wrong on so many levels.
I had been tempted to bring one of the lycanthropes along, but Edward had given me cold eyes at the first mention of backup.
So here we were. I was tongue tied and Edward wasn't sharing.
"How's Donna?"
"Fine."
"And the kids?"
"Fine."
"Edward, you have to talk to me."
He turned and looked at me with those cold dead eyes. "What do you want to talk about, Anita?"
"Well, the weather has been nice ... dammit Edward. You walked in on me."
"Yes."
"Say something."
"You mean like 'When did you give up on humanity?', or 'When did you become one of the monsters?'"
"Edward, you know I'm a necromancer. I've never been human."
"When did the monsters start meaning more to you than the rest of us?"
"They aren't monsters. They aren't evil."
Edward didn't answer me, he just stared at me.
"Do you think I'm evil?"
Silence.
"Edward?"
I put my head in my hands.
"When did they start meaning more to you? You weren't this far gone when you came to New Mexico."
I laughed. "I found myself. I found a home, a family, people who love me for me. But everyone on the outside thinks I've been corrupted or something. They are good men. They just want some peace. You know me. If they stepped out of line I'd still do my job. I'm still the Executioner."
"And who makes sure the Executioner stays in line?"
It was my turn to be silent. Edward was my appointed judge, jury, and executioner, and it looked like I was losing my case.
"You'd kill me?"
"Isn't that what you wanted? You wanted a fail safe."
"A fail safe only works if he sees the truth?"
"And what is the truth?" Edward asked.
"That you don't know evil," I stated.
"... when I'm staring it in the face?" Edward finished.
After Edward accused me of being evil, we fell back into an uncomfortable silence. I wondered if any argument I could give would convince him that the men I loved weren't evil. That I wasn't evil.
Edward didn't know the whole story. He didn't know that magic bound me to these men. That it wasn't just friendship and love. Would it be better or worse if he knew everything?
I stared straight out the window and began my story. "Do you know anything about vampire marks?"
I didn't pause for an answer.
"Master vampires can bind human servants to themselves. It takes four marks. Each successive mark serves to bind the servant and vampire closer together. The human servant gains strength and stamina and becomes harder to kill. The master vampire gains an alternative way of feeding. A vampire can sustain himself by his servant just eating more. Most human servants are also regular blood donors."
"The vampire and the servant share a psychic bond. And if the servant is magic-wielding, they share their gifts. The bond combines their life forces. Killing master or servant will likely kill both."
"Rarer than the master/ servant pairs are Triumverates. In a Triumverate, the master vampire binds both a human servant and a lycanthrope that is his animal to call. The mutual benefits are similar only split three ways."
I paused. Where to go next? Edward remained silent.
"Necromancers aren't particularly common. Most animators are not necromancers. Animators can raise the dead. Necromancers have the capacity to do a lot more. They can raise zombies, but they also have power over the undead - vampires. Historically most necromancers were killed by the vampires. They feared taking necromancers as human servants because they did not know who would be master and who would be servant."
"I've only seen two other Tris, and only one had a necromancer as a member."
That was it. I had hinted at the truth. Now it was time to declare it outright.
Edward was so silent I had to risk a glance in his direction. He was staring out the window. At this angle I couldn't read his eyes and his body language gave nothing away.
"Remember the old Master of the City, Nikolaos, the scary child vamp? When her vampires dragged me in for an audience I was injured. Jean-Claude marked me. He gave me the first two marks without my knowledge or consent. At the time I think he was trying to help me, but he also was fascinated by the idea of having a necromancer as his human servant."
"Let's see. Remember the Earthmover, Oliver? He and Jean-Claude fought under the big top. Well, in the days leading up to that showdown I was poisoned. Jean-Claude gave me the third mark to save my life. I still resented him for it. I didn't want to be tied even closer to him. I didn't want to be tied to a vampire."
"Until a master vampire gives you the fourth mark, another master vampire can still mark you. Then it is a race to see who marks you first. Oliver's vampire, Alejandro gave me the fourth mark. For a few minutes I was his human servant all the way. Then I killed him. That broke all marks on me. I was free."
"Anita?" Edward tried to interrupt me.
"No, Edward. You need to hear this. You may know some of it, but you don't know the whole story. You owe me this much."
I turned to look at him. He met my eyes, and finally nodded.
"I was dating Richard and Jean-Claude after that, but nothing more. Richard, Jean-Claude, and I were in my apartment. We were yelling at each other about something when we touched. Our magic combined. We were able to raise power. Richard and Jean-Claude wanted to form a Triumverate. Jean-Claude wanted more power to protect his people. Richard wanted enough power that maybe he could take the throne, become Ulfric of the pack, without bloodshed. They shared the first two marks. I abstained."
"But then Sabin's wolf and servant took Jean-Claude and Richard. And Gabriel and Raina had me. Gabriel was going to kill me on film. So when Jean-Claude tried to mark me again, I accepted willingly. And after Richard was stabbed, Jean-Claude gave me the third mark. It was the only way the three of us could all survive."
"We still only share three marks, but after I saw you in New Mexico, we married the marks. We filled in the holes in our auras with each other. We had no choice. We were vulnerable metaphysically without each other."
"Jean-Claude says it's my fault." I said with a touch of dark humor. "My necromancy leads to unpredictable results. When we married the marks, I got some of the powers of a master vampire of Jean-Claude's line. I now have an animal-to-call, leopards, and I have a piece of Jean-Claude's incubus. I'm a succubus. I need to feed the ardeur with sex."
My cheeks were flaming. I could feel Edward's eyes on me now.
"Like a master vampire, I can also mark others. I managed to bind Nathaniel and Damian, a thousand year old vampire, to me. I formed a secondary Triumveate with them. Only I'm the master in this one."
"So now I'm Jean-Claude's human servant. Richard's lupa, lupa and bolverk of the Thronnos Rokke werewolf clan. I'm Nimir-Ra of the Blooddrinker's pard - the leopards. Micah is my Nimir-Raj. I'm tied to three preternatural groups in love, friendship, loyalty, ... but also metaphysically. I can't walk away. My life is tied to Jean-Claude, Richard, Nathaniel, and Damian."
I sighed. "As for what you saw with Nathaniel and I. The ardeur needs to be fed regularly. Feeding drains the person I'm drawing on, so we can only do it so often. But if a lycanthrope shifts, even partially, they are reenergized."
"I'd rather sleep with a man I know and love, in a different form, than add one more man to my ... harem. Monogamy is no longer an option for me. If I don't feed the ardeur it puts us all at risk."
I sighed again. "That's it, I think. My life has radically changed since we took out Nikolaos. It's more complicated. I have more people depending on me. But at the end of the day, I'm happier."
I closed my eyes for half a minute before finally turning to face Edward.
Edward was floored. I don't know if he suspected any of it, but the whole of it threw him. He was studying me like some exotic creature he'd never seen before. I wondered if he saw me as the ultimate prey.
"I'm still me, Edward. I'm till the same person inside." I heard Nathaniel's voice in my head echoing the same sentiments.
"Edward. It's your turn. Say something."
"You're more of a monster than the rest of them."
*****
After that, we fell into old roles. We did our job efficiently, but there was nothing personal. We spoke only when necessary. Except for Edward studying me like a caged animal, there was no evidence of our fight and my confession.
I had given up on Edward. At best we would part ways. At worst I might have to face him, to kill him. I could do it. I didn't want to. But I had too many people depending on me.
I couldn't imagine what would happen if Edward killed me or one of the guys and it killed us all. I didn't want to think of the mess that would leave Asher, Sylvie, and Micah.
***********
That night I lay shivering in Micah's arms. He was quiet. He knew I'd talk to him when I found the courage.
"Would you be ok without me?" I whispered into his shoulder.
"Are you going somewhere?" he asked. I could hear the hint of concern in his voice.
"If something happened to me and the marks brought us all down, would you be ok? Could you keep our leopards safe?"
Micah held me tighter, running his hand in circles across my back. "I'll do everything in my power to keep them safe."
"Thank you."
"Is there something you aren't telling me?"
I lifted my head to meet his eyes. "I think when Edward and I finish the job, he's going to come gunning for me. He thinks I'm beyond saving. I'm prepared to kill him before he kills me, but if I'm wrong and he's better.... You'll help Asher? You'll try to work with Sylvie?"
"Of course."
We were quiet for a few minutes.
"You shouldn't face Edward alone. Have you told Jean-Claude about this?"
"No." I paused. "If Edward wants a confrontation, it's better to give him one. Otherwise, he'll just wait till we relax and try to pick one of us off. I tried to explain, but I ended up giving him the keys to my soul. He doesn't have to kill me. He could go after Damian or Nathaniel."
I clung to Micah. We were still wrapped around each other when Nathaniel got home from work. He didn't ask. He knew something was wrong but he trusted his Nimir-Ra and Nimir-Raj to handle it. He simply climbed in bed and curled around me, holding me as tightly and I was holding Micah.
I took out the last vamp in the nest. I did it the old fashioned way, with my Browning.
Only the good guys were left standing. All of the good guys were left standing. Edward was lying in a pool of his own blood. He was dying.
I walked over to stand at his feet. My Browning was still out. Even dying I wouldn't put anything past Edward. He had no visible weapons, but that didn't mean much.
Jean-Claude walked up to stand beside me. "Micah told you?" I asked, no accusation in my voice.
"Oui, ma petite. He wanted to be here for you but one of the master vampires calls, or rather called, leopards."
I nodded. Jean-Claude and his people had arrived in the middle of the fight. At one time I would have resented their interference. Today I was grateful for their help.
Jason tried to brush past me, growling at Edward. I guess Micah shared that part too. I fisted my hand in the long fur at the scruff of his neck and pulled him back. "No, Jason."
The wolves and vampires circled Edward in a loose circle.
I met Edward's eyes. They were still clear, despite the pain.
"The other day you reminded me that you are my fail safe, but what we didn't discuss was the fact that I'm your fail safe. I'm your judge, jury, ..." I paused dramatically. "... and Executioner."
"You threaten all I hold dear. I should kill you, or let you bleed to death. But that would make me the monster you believe me to be."
I turned to Jason. "Do you smell any other weapons on him?"
Jason shook his head, adding a bark for emphasis.
I straddled Edward's waist. "My being a monster is the only thing that can save you." I called Raina.
I got a lot more up close and personal with Edward than I'd ever cared to, but I was able to stop things shy of intercourse. Maybe Raina was satisfied with the smell of blood and pack around us. Maybe I was finally her master.
Edward wasn't well enough to get up and walk away, but he'd live. "I'll call an ambulance," I said, taking Jean-Claude's arm. "Do me a favor. Walk away. I think we've figured out who is more of a monster. Don't make me prove to you who is harder to kill."
Asher walked up and stood beside me. He shook his golden hair over his shoulder revealing his scars. "And in the remote event that you are foolish enough to try for ma cherie, and succeed," he said, pausing for emphasis. "Know that I will spend the rest of my days hunting you down." The wolves growled in agreement. "Ma cherie has many friends. You, I understand, have none."
We turned to leave. I dropped Jean-Claude's arm and he walked on ahead of me. I slowed and stopped. I heard the scrape of metal on concrete. Edward wasn't going to walk away.
I turned and shot Edward right between the eyes before he could lift his gun.
"Sorry Edward, looks like I'm better."
Fin