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MRSSHRAGER@COMCAST.NET
(610) 355-0553
PUBLICATION DATE: JUNE 15, 2012
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Dear Colleagues,
What is it with kids and their parents these days?How many times during lunch do we discuss how different our current students are compared to when we first started teaching? Compared to when we were students? How much time do we spend using exasperated tones recounting some parents’ enabling antics to our loved ones? How much classroom time do we now waste because of these differences?
A few years ago I found myself harping on these issues and realized that my students’ reality was tremendously different from my set of beliefs about classroom behavior, common courtesy and work ethic. I am ashamed to admit that to reconcile these differences, I found myself becoming more and more sarcastic in the classroom. My choice was to either make peace with this difference or leave this profession as I was burning out.
I have since learned to observe how differently we, myself included, are raising our children today. Some of my observations focus on the changing roles of children, parents, and neighborhoods in society and the profound impact of entertainment, advertisement, and individual rights on a student's sense of self.
From my observations, I learned that students’ unacceptable classroom behavior is a logical, albeit unintentional, consequence of the society that we have created! This understanding has relieved me of the burden of judging and inspired me to confront these differences so that my classroom once again reflects my beliefs.
In my keynote speech, I focus on five differences in students’ upbringing that create disruptions to learning in my classroom. I use to respond to these disruptions in the moment with ‘pop-up’ lessons on manners. Now, in an impersonal and loving way, I pro-actively introduce the differences between the way students are accustomed to behaving and the way students will behave in class.
Thus, when impulsive students act out, I remind them that we have already discussed this, and the consequence is not perceived as a personal attack.
Surprisingly, even rebellious students respond to this impersonal authority. I suspect that many are secretly relieved that there is a true adult in charge who affirms that their actions have consequences; otherwise we are reinforcing the students’ most inner fear that they and their actions are meaningless.
Most days, my students respond to this classroom behavior code and the moments of sarcasm, drama, and tension are minimal.
As an off shoot of this keynote speech, I created more presentations. The first is a session called “Successful Dialogues with Enabling Parents.” The second session is “Successful Dialogues to Motivate and Organize the Unorganized and Unmotivated.”
In “Successful Dialogues with Enabling Parents”, I help teachers to interact better with today’s parents, by discussing:
Five recent changes in parenting.
Five crucial steps to protect teachers’ authority.
Six common parental illusions.
Teachers will practice T R I A L – the process for responding compassionately and appropriately with difficult parents, without teacher burn-out! Additional discussion will include managing electronic grades, e-mail contact with parents, and student cheating.
Teachers will practice discussing these sensitive issues with parents via role playing in groups of two. Teachers will be able to discuss sensitive issues with parents leaving both sides intact with their dignity. This will ultimately lead to more parental support for teachers and programs.
In “Successful Dialogues to Motivate and Organize the Unorganized and Unmotivated," I share my experiences with my successful “Seven Club.”
Without specific help, children from poverty struggle to negotiate schools’ middle class value system. I started an after-school ‘club’ to help students whose actual grades were significantly lower than their intellectual ability.
I use an assortment of products to foster the dialogue that will help the student to bridge the gap between home values and school values. What surprised me is the number of referrals from middle class families operating with poverty values.
My conclusion is that between more parents working outside the home and the intense pressure to be well-rounded for school applications, many middle class families are running chaotic homes and their children need the same support as students from poverty.
This interactive presentation will help educators to reach disorganized and unmotivated students.
These can be combined for an all – day workshop or fit to suit your individual needs.
Come join me in one of my presentations and hear about my solutions to the above mentioned barriers to learning in the classroom.
Together we can inspire our students to believe that learning is inherently much more interesting than acting out.
Sincerely,
Ellen Shrager